Anne Marie Miller

Blog

  • let the healing begin

    if you’ve been around a while, forgive my redundancy. i’ve been on a sleep/anxiety combo medicine since january and a “stress” medicine (did you know they made those?) as well. you can read about some my attempts at medication through some stressful transitions here.

    a lot of people – christians in particular – have questions on whether or not medication for depression and/or anxiety is biblical. shouldn’t you just snap out of it? my personal experience with taking my doctor’s advice, and working with a therapist led me to decide that going on medication temporarily as i worked hard core through some issues in counseling would probably be best. and i think it was. if i felt healthy enough, i would be off the medication in a year.

    so because of the kind of medicine i am on, i have to gradually wean off. over the next eight weeks (beginning last night) i will be cutting back by eighths on one medicine, and thirds on the other.

    how do i feel about it? i am so looking forward to what’s on the other side. my emotions have never felt more stable, my sleep is back to normal, and i’m not stressing out a ton. it may not seem like the best month to start this withdrawal, with all of the stress of current events, but i really think i am in a good place. with the support of my friends, family, therapist, YOU GUYS and undoubtedly resting – really resting – in God’s promises of truth, justice, confession, and provision; i am not too worried about it.

    my final week of medication is november 26. i’ll occasionally post updates of how i’m doing if i think about it, but i am really looking forward to taking this next step!

    on a side note, this weekend in alabama went great. it was all a little bit of a blur to me but after speaking with several people after the message or getting emails from them over the last few days, i know God did a great work through everyone – the volunteers, the band, the teams that set up, dave, and even myself. i love seeing god move!

    that’s about all from flowerdust land. i hope you all are having a great week!

  • alabamalama

    i just got settled in my cozy hampton inn room here in decatur, alabama. the flight was smooth, not too many travel hassels, and i’ve met mr. and mrs. moviepastor.

    despite my only being here for, at this point, a little over an hour, so far i have encountered some very southernesque things:

    1) on the way to baggage claim, i was asked out on a date for tonight by a stereotypical nascar fan who was here to see some races at the talladega speedway.

    it was not ricky bobby. i politely declined.

    plus i think i freaked him out when he asked me why i was in town.

    “to speak at a church about porn.”

    that’s gotta be a conversation killer…

    2) passed a truck on the highway for a company named “bubba dump.”

    3) i saw a real scarecrow in a real corn field. the real corn field was across the highway from a real cotton field. you don’t see much of that in dallas.

    4) the hotel receptionist uses “don’t” instead of “doesn’t.” because of the drawl, i think that makes it grammatically okay.

    i’d appreciate your prayers as i continue to prepare for tomorrow! and to those of you coming to visit, thank you so much. you guys are awesome!

  • i am getting old

    i am almost 28. long gone are the days where staying up until 3 am, waking up at 7 am, and working productively were no big thing. last night i stayed up until almost 1. i could barely drag myself out of bed by 7:30…

    but today will be good. i love fridays because i get a day’s head start for next week. so when i come in on monday, i’m not suddenly overwhelmed with the week ahead. tonight is date night. and tomorrow, i head out to decatur, alabama. i have to tie up a few loose ends on my message but i am really excited about getting to teach this sunday. it will also be my first time speaking in a movie theatre church so i think that whole experience will be awesome.

    i covet your prayers. the messy-ness of this week’s news hasn’t really affected my focus for the weekend much. if anything, you have inspired me to keep on going, keep on trusting. this is totally in god’s hands and being distracted isn’t going to do me – or anyone – a lick of good.

    anyway, on the getting old thing, that makes me curious – how old are you?
     don’t be shy…

  • coming up for air – three free songs

    again, thank you all for your support. also you lurkers who have sent me emails – thank you. sometimes i hear the words, “i’ve gone through that too – what you’ve said means so much to me” and now i am the one getting the emails from people sharing that they have been through this before, allowing me to have the “me too” moment. so, thank you for sharing your stories of peace, healing, and restoration.

    i thought we’d come up for some air and have a little fun. chris bought a new cd and it had a coupon for three free iTunes songs in it.

    so, what should i get?

  • get into my brain

    ryan from next steps leadership thought it would be fun to get inside my head about church and leadership. i’m the first female they’ve interviewed and you’ll notice that i am twice as wordy as the guys. guess that whole “women talk more than men” adage is true.

    anyway, if you’d like to see the interview, go here!

    thanks, ryan, for the opportunity.

  • advice

    always do the right thing.

    it seems obvious. but sometimes it is HARD. really, really hard.

    so hard you can’t eat and you just want to throw up.

    so hard it may take you a while to get there.

    so hard your mind could be filled with what-if and consumed by fear.

    so hard your life as you know might never be the same.

    the old adage is true – the longer the agony, the deeper the pain.

    don’t wait. do the right thing. do it as soon as you can.

    and surround yourself with loving, caring people who will hold you up when you start to double over, who will encourage you, pray with you, pray for you, pray that people will bring you cookies to cheer you up, people who don’t mind when you cry, people who are brave enough to tell you to kick the negative thoughts far away, people who will travel thousands of miles to make things right, people who don’t laugh when all you order is mashed potatoes because you can’t think straight…

    people who care. simply care.

    [to those people, today, i say – thank you].

  • attempts at simple- tip 3 – BREATHE

    today, abbi zeliff was a guest blogger on one of my favorite blogs, swerve. she had a great post on simplifying. i know it has been a while since my “weekly installment” of attempts at simple and that is for a good reason…i have totally been sucking at it lately!

    the last two weeks have been crazy: traveling to nashville last wednesday-saturday, recovering from a plane-borne cold on sunday and monday, about five zillion (yes, i exaggerate) phone calls regarding book things (which is GREAT, don’t get me wrong!), a bunch of meetings and a long phone call about another more personal thing, driving with some friends to athens to see shaun groves tonight, helping my boss out at the fusion conference tomorrow, and meeting with a literary agent who’s in town for breakfast saturday…not to mention i am on a HUGE fall cleaning kick and have been a tornado of swiffer and mr. clean at home the last couple of nights. then there’s preparing to speak three times next month (wooo!) in alabama and arkansas…i can’t wait!

    oh, and then there’s this thing i have called a job which has a big magazine deadline of tomorrow (thank you to pinkhairedgirl for offering up some freelance skill and helping us out), and we have two big fall festivals next month for which i get the privilege of managing communications…a LOT of communications…oh, and some freelance here and there.

    the good thing about all of this is i have realized something i’m actually good at – managing projects and time. it is a ton of stuff yet there is a place and time for it all and i’m confident in the people i have fortunately been able to delegate to and my own progress on these items.

    the horrible thing about this i realized today when my friend/accountability girl called me and asked me if we were still doing lunch today.

    sccreeechhh…halt….brake noises….wha?

    i looked on my calendar on my computer and my phone (they sync)…nothing. i KNOW it was on there – i had sent her the invite and it’s reocurring…somehow all of our bi-weekly lunches were deleted and because i didn’t have it on my phone or computer, i TOTALLY forgot about it.

    i am relying way too much on this piece of technology and not my own brain.

    today, i realized…i need to just take five minutes…retreat…and BREATHE.

    when i get in seasons like this i LOVE it. i love being busy and it’s sick, but i kind of get a rush from having an overwhelming amount of stuff to do…i love problem solving and figuring out how it’s going to get done, then seeing things getting done, and meeting new people…all of it is great.

    but i need to step back…away from my starbucks and five zillion diet cokes (not exaggerating)…and breathe. slow down. smile.

    and simplifying?

    let?s try this again, okay?

  • lesson learned in nashville tonight

    do not disrupt a mainly simple, vegetarian diet with nashville/bb king/bbq/soul food.

  • reflections from a bubblebath (3 of 3)

    reflection #3: washed away

    i think in some of the comments in previous posts, people have said they don’t like taking baths because in essence, you’re sitting in a pool of your own dirty water. i agree. completely. which is probably why i haven’t taken one in 3 years AND why i showered after the bubble bath.

    as i let the water out of the tub, my feelings of baths were only confirmed by the ick left after the water had drained.

    “all that was on me?” i wondered as i looked down at the bottom of the tub. personal hygiene is pretty important…even with my daily habits, i still had all this dirt left on me. turning on the shower, i watched it all wash away…never to be seen again.

    i thought i was pretty clean, pre-bath. i do shower every morning, so how could i not be? well, i was wrong. and many times in my life, i’m operating in routine mode, my spiritual disciplines often becoming spiritual to-do’s which i must check off. dirt slowly and discreetly collects on my soul, and in my mind.

    it’s still mind-boggling to me how we are promised are sins are removed as far as the east is from the west, never to be seen again. taking the time out to sit and soak and i guess really clean off was essential. it revealed the dirt i didn’t even know was there. but with a quick shower to rinse down all the ick, i never had to see it again…and in my spiritual life, i know his forgiveness is like that final shower – cleansing, purifying, and recharging.


    [the end]