ok, married people, sex does rule (cue 80s lingo flashback…now).
but that’s not what we’re going to talk about.
i’d like for us to discuss THE sex RULE.
“the rule” (for lack of a better term) that most churches have which states a married woman and a married man cannot be alone (car rides, office time, counseling, meals, travel, etc.) with a member of the opposite sex that is not his or her spouse.
all of the churches i have been employed by have “the rule.”
yet, i was talking with a friend who is also on staff at a church who does not have the rule. he thinks it’s a little legalistic.
another friend said,
“you know that whole theory where people live up to the expectations set before them? to me, this rule says, ‘we don’t trust you to make wise decisions on your own, so we’re enforcing a rule that might help keep you out of trouble.’ of course people are still having affairs and getting involved inappropriately. they’ve already been told they can’t be trusted!!”
one church i was on staff at a while back had the rule, and yet within a couple of years, four staff members, including three in public leadership, had affairs. and this happens all the time. to churches with “the rule” in place.
so…what do you think? is “the rule” necessary? should husbands and wives involved in church leadership set “their rule” instead of the church? does it really prevent anything? or is it a darn good idea that protects leaders? what do your “rules” look like if you have any??
ministry is a fairly male-dominated game. and that’s cool. drill it down even more, when you have a heart for encouraging and equipping and dreaming with other pastors, well…as a girl, that can be tough to do. as a 20-something year old girl, perhaps even tougher.
One afternoon, we took a ferry across the Nile River and then hopped in a small bus. We drove half an hour on the bumpiest dirt road one could ever imagine to Murchison Falls, one of the many wonders of the world. We then hiked another half hour to the very top.