so, i am hitting a creative block at the moment and thought i would take this time to see if there are any questions you, the flowerdust faithful, have for me?anything you?ve ever wanted to know? i will answer in the comments section. nothing?s off limit! so, ask!
also, if you are an RSS fan, i have changed the look of my blog, so click over and hit refresh to see the latest. i also added a new feature on my sidebar, ?anne?s current thought.?
“Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one.” – Quote by Stella Adler
[HT: Randy Elrod]
about every three to four months, i run solid. 110%. i am an unstoppable force. and do not dare stand in my way. my close friends, and newest officemate andrew can attest solidly to that portrait. i think i need to be the heroine that saves all…
and at the end of those three to four months, i crash. i hit a wall. hard. physically, i can’t sleep, eat, my heart starts doing these weird fluttering beats and the thought of even moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer is overwhelming.
i hit that wall over this past weekend. working carefully and diligently on a side project, i convinced myself my work was too important to let something physical hinder my ability to tackle the task at hand. which only threw me harder and harder into the wall.
[if one were to visualize this, one must also visualize the outline of a 5’6″ medium framed female impressed into such a wall.]
i arrived at work tense monday, fluttery and wanting to hide under my desk. noting something off-kilter, our lovely department admin michele comes in with some encouraging words:
go home.
that is all it took. i finished a few things and went home at 10 am.
i was forced to rest.
and i did.
and i hated it.
it is so difficult for me to relax (sans medication). anyone else have this problem?
i never go anywhere without even a little make up on. never. ever. after moving this weekend, i just didn’t care and went three whole days without make up. that included my saturday night journey to my office so i could work on a little freelance given our internet at home wasn’t connected yet. and inspired by mary demuth’s “morning face” challenge, i kind of modified it and now challenge you.
below is me. with make up, and without. with doing my hair, and without.
here i am. nothing to cover up anything. nothng to make my eyes look bigger or my cheekbones higher or my skin not as pasty as it really is.
[am i really putting this online?]
yes. i am. we always make sure we put our most hip or creative or artist or professional photos on our blogs so that others whom we will never meet can form some kind of impression of us.
today, i remove that barrier between you and me. here it is. here i am. and i challenge you to do the same.
just you.
beautiful you.
this morning, i get an email. it reads:
Ms. Jackson,
I was wondering if you would be interested in having a butler and driver. I can also go-fer and handle administrative matters. If interested please drop me a note.
Thank you,
John
i laugh. a lot. i wonder if movies like 13 going on 30 happen in real life, that really i have become some famously wealthy person and someone actually wants to be my butler, driver, and assistant. i reply:
John,
I would totally love to have your assistance, however, I can barely afford to keep my cats fed and keep my car payments made on time…if
I ever hit the jackpot though, you will be the first person I call.
so, i continue laughing for about half an hour as i unpack. then i think, “wait…maybe i am suddenly rich and famous…” i seriously opened my front door and waited for the camera lights to flash and microphones to be shoved in my just-woke-up-and-have-been-moving-for-three-days face.
i was met by the quietness of an early sunday morning.
John writes me back and realizes that i am not the actress anne jackson, best known for her part in the movie the shining.
bummer.
chris & i are moving this weekend to live a little closer to the church. our phone & internet were supposed to be turned on thursday and we didn’t have time to check it until today. nothing. nada. but fortunately, at&t does service calls at 8 am sunday morning. although i am going to hate waking up early, i want me some internet.
needless to say, i write this from my office. i had to finish a freelance project tonight and it was just going to be easier to do it from the confines of my dimly lit office. sans whiny cats. sans stacks of boxes. sans stress.
the thing with my office, and all the offices on the third floor, is that they are freezing. when we first moved up, it would hover around 58-62 degrees. even now it’s still around 67. i plugged in my space heater and put it on my desk to have a more intense effect on defeating my goosebumps. it is now 75. and i am happy.
have you ever just looked at something, no matter how silly it is, and been given a revelation? i have been organizing files on my computer, as well as working on a design project called “getting to know jesus.” that project folder, named “jesus” is on my desktop, as well as my own folder which i emptied in order to organize its contents.
i saw this today, and it made me think…”when i am empty, jesus has plenty to give.”
corny but true, aye?
so, bad weather has finally come to a head here in kansas. wes was supposed to fly us home today but it has been storming since sometime early this morning. we’ve had about two inches of rain where we are staying, and on our way to meet a friend for coffee early this morning, it was raining so hard you couldn’t see in front of you. i honestly don’t think i have ever seen it rain so hard!
since wes didn’t think he’d be able to get up here until possibly wednesday, we booked two tickets on southwest for monday evening. it wasn’t the best fare in the world, but honestly for a last minute flight, i can’t complain. and they can fly high above all these silly storms!
our time here has been a mix of many different emotions for many different reasons. from grieving with our friends who have lost some things very dear to them to having a blast with our old friends…you can see some more pictures of our trip & our friends here.
