the test gods say i am an “encouraging creator”
Evidently I am more masculine though, than feminine, which I am sure those who know me well will entirely disagree with…especially the lady who waxed my eyebrows yesterday. also speaking out against that would be my addictions to lipstick, shopping, and dark chocolate.
today, as i do around the first part of every month, i send out invoices to my freelance clients. licking envelopes is not part of my daily routine. and every time i do lick one, i think of the seinfeld episode, “the invitations,” where susan dies from licking all those cheap envelopes.
Doctor: Excuse me , Are you the husband?
George: Well , not yet.. Fianc?.
Doctor: Well , I’m sorry…..She’s gone.
George: ………What’s that?…
Doctor: She expired.
George: …Are you sure?
Doctor: Yes , of course.
George: So…..She’s dead?
Doctor: Yes
George: …Huh!
Doctor: Let me ask you ; Had she been exposed to any kind of inexpensive glue?
George: …Why?
Doctor: We found traces of a certain toxic adhesive commonly found in very low priced envelopes.
George: Well she was sending out our wedding invitations.
Doctor: That’s probably what did it.
George: We were expecting about two hundred people…Well…Thank you , thank you.
I never post videos. I really never watch them. But Chris made me do this. Follow the instructions of this experiment. Nothing will jump out at you and scare you. This is just freaking unbelievable.
[HT: FriendlyAtheist]
father, forgive me – it has been since yesterday’s rush hour since my last confession.
today, the vatican issued an unusual document – the “ten commandements of driving”
from CNN.com
An unusual document from the Vatican’s office for migrants and itinerant people also warned that automobiles can be “an occasion of sin” — particularly when they are used for dangerous passing or for prostitution.
It warned about the effects of road rage, saying driving can bring out “primitive” behavior in motorists, including “impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, blasphemy, loss of sense of responsibility or deliberate infringement of the highway code.”
The “Drivers’ Ten Commandments,” as listed by the document, are:
1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible toward others.
the pope has obviously not driven in dallas. to live up to these standards would prove impossible!
insomnia has been a dear acquaintance (unwelcomed, mostly) for the last four years. i’ve finally found some medicine which actually helps me sleep…usually.
this morning at about 3:58, i’m awakened by our wonderful, adorable, fuzzy cats playing with one of my (formerly) beaded (now the beads are scattered all over our bathroom) bracelets. i take care of the mess, and try to go back to bed.
current time: 4:00 am.
about half an hour later, after unsuccessfully attempting to find the place where my dreams await, i feel something tickling my shoulder and my neck. at first, it think it’s probably a pulled thread from our comforter.
until it starts crawling.
without thinking, i reach back and crunch whatever it is in my right hand. i turned on my lamp, even though i really don’t want to see what was violating me so early in the morning.
yes. a spider. probably not a brown recluse like the one shown in exhibit a above, but it was the only brown spider google images would provide me.
so here at 5:13 am, i sit awake on my couch. my cats are asleep. but my pulse is averaging about 105 bpm.
maybe this morning i’ll exercise and get into work early.
we just have crickets at work.
no spiders.
no spiders.
no spiders.
(assumes rocking position with her arms wrapped around her legs and eyes wide open)…
i’ve never ridden in a limo.
sorry for the absence of my website. the host i use, which is normally insanely reliable, had a few glitches. so, i wanted to let everyone know i am okay.
i still need to catch up on yesterday’s post, “ask me anything” – so if you wanted to ask but couldn’t get on because of the downtime, please feel free to ask away!
