Category: Uncategorized

i needed control over my email…so, i made a separate email account giving very, very, very limited people access to it. my other account (the one most people have and that is linked on my blog) i’ll check and respond every so often. problem solved, right?

no. this did not remove my addiction, my need, to check my email. most of the time, i check it on my phone. i have turned into quite the text-messenger too. so, the heart issue of the condition – my need to constantly be plugged in – was NOT resolved.

until today.

my cell phone (the account, not the actual phone) has stopped working. no phone calls. no texts. no internet.

thank you, cingular-now named at&t-for forcing me not to be able to check my email 1238 times during the leadership summit.

and, uh, if you need to reach me…um, good luck. the best way is to probably comment here. i have no idea (nor do they) when the issue will be fixed.

huzzah!

freedom forced by technology.

first: the confession

i have a prescription. i take it every night with my sleeping pill. the instructions? take daily for stress. yup. and guess what the first question my doctor always asks me when i visit…“how’s your stress level?”

to be honest, i am not doing very well with this whole “simplification” process. granted, i have cut out a few things. but after a routine doctor’s appointment yesterday (for an asthma check up), my respiratory therapist flips through some stuff and gets concerned that my resting heart rate is never, ever below 80. it usually is in the 90-100 range. and when i exercise, a good five minutes in and i’m already hitting 180-190. i joke it’s easier for me to do cardio that way. he gives me a dirty look.

if you know me personally, you know i can be pretty intense. hyper-esque? tightly wound? i’m not really sure how to describe me. “cracked out” was the term i used yesterday when i was talking with our worship pastor, danny. to quote him on part of our conversation, “oh i get it – i thought you might be burning out because of this big book project on burn-out…writing a book definitely does not fit under ‘simplification.’”

yeeeeah.

so, i will be doing more pruning…and not putting so much pressure on this book thing.

======

second: the tip

email is my addiction, my weakness, and my biggest enemy. it’s the first thing i check when i wake up and usually the last thing i check before i go to bed. i have it on my phone too, just in case i am more than four feet away from a computer at anytime.

lately, i’ve noticed what i will call an email explosion in my inbox. lots of questions, comments, book stuff, thoughts, and things i really need to respond to. to help navigate through all the email i have done one thing that has helped a ton…

UNSUBSCRIBE.

goodbye pottery barn, ikea, white fence, west elm, overnight prints, feedblitz, blockbuster, etc., etc., etc. anytime i get a promotional email now, i unsubscribe. it has helped some. if i can’t live without it, i subscribe under another email account i have just for that purpose.

however…or should i say…HOWEVER…i am still finding myself overwhelmed. fifty-some-odd emails a day (and please, if one of them is yours, do not feel guilty!) and i am having a very difficult time finding the time necessary to respond.

i used to think pastors who had assistants email for them was really dumb. now i give them the biggest props for being able to let go…i would totally dig an email assistant to help me organize and reply to the ones who maybe didn’t necessarily need a personal response.

but oh, therein lies the dilemma. i pride myself on the personal response.

oh, there’s my problem.

hmm. your turn to give me some advice…

my office is next to andrew’s.

and we overhear each others’ phone conversations. a lot.

just right now:

phone ring.

“hello?”

long pause.

“no, i think it’s your saturated fats.”

statements like this are bloggable simply because of their randomness.

i pray to the lord up above he never blogs any random statements coming out of my office.

as i am simplifying my commitments, i thought i’d share some insights i am learning along the way…a weekly installment maybe?

to update to my previous post on all the crazy things i was allowing to dominate my schedule, many of those things have been eliminated. the action i’d like to talk about today is focus.

for me, earlier this year i had no focus. anything that would cross my path that seemed remotely interesting i’d say yes to and slowly but surely my schedule and sanity started getting eaten away. i was working full time, doing freelance web design, graphic design, writing movie reviews, doing a little bit of radio, consulting with a few churches about identity and branding, reviewing books, and prepping for the announcement of mad church disease. PHEW. i saw all these things as good, i mean, i was helping other churches, and even getting to write some. however, just because they fell in line with my passions (the church and writing) didn’t mean they were the right things for me.

so, these are the things i’ve decided to focus on personally:

*my job – it’s both provision and where i can do ministry

*writing – not just anything, but working on mad church disease, exploring another book option, and select articles dealing with sexual and emotional purity. blogging too. i love you guys. :)

*speaking – to support the topics i am writing about and be able to interact with people who read my stuff

*freelance – i have limited it to three clients with whom i already work. no more, no less. boundaries and schedules with all three.

*people – with the writing and speaking and blogging comes opportunities to meet people, hang out, get coffee or lunch and chat about stuff. this is one of my favorite parts. we get to share what god is doing in our lives and learn!

so, if some opportunity comes along and doesn’t fit inside those categories, no will typically be the answer. and as time progresses, it is easier to say no. practice with me though, it’s also easier doing it together!

no.
no.
no.
no.
no.

tomorrow at 4:35 pm CDT i’ll be on the air with john & stephanie at 101.5 WORD fm in pittsburgh. we’ll be talking about forgiveness, based on my article “forgiving the unforgivable” (read it here at relevantmagazine.com).

so, all you pittsburghians (is that a word?) tune in!

this is my first official phone-to-blog post. I know I’m a little slow. and my phone automatically converts my lowercase “i” to uppercase. sigh.

anyway, I felt the need to pass on some essential information for both girls and guys regarding road trips and pit stops.

girls: hurry up. nobody at phillips 66 cares what you look like. neither does anyone you pass on the road. get in, get out. there’s a line of I-just-drank-a-lot-of-starbucks-two-hours-ago people waiting on you.

guys: flush. sometimes the sign on the door that says “men” really implies “men OR women who really hafta go and don’t want to wait behind three high school girls on a youth trip”…so some of us aren’t afraid to journey in the land of the splattered floor. please do the few of us brave girls a favor and flush your stuff so we can at least stomach being in there.

this concludes my soapbox. which I might add was also empty in the previously mentioned men’s room.

for me, it was a bathroom stall tonight.

obviously, i won’t explain too much about that part, as a sentence like that needs no explanation.

after drinking far too much diet coke and raspberry tea, i journey off to the ladies’ room. as i am in the previously mentioned stall, i hear the door open, and slam…then the open, and slam…in the stall next to me.

i am thinking…either someone is really drunk, or someone is really upset. i depart my stall and start to wash my hands. my new neighboring stall friend comes out of hers, after blowing her nose. i do a discreet once-over in the mirror to see what we’re dealing with.

both drunk and upset. hmmm….i ponder if i should say anything.

the thinking didn’t last very long. she leans into the mirror, wiping her eyes and lets out a long and heavy sigh. i slowly ask her if she’s okay while i dry my hands. she stops, takes a look at me and says,

“i can’t believe how wasted i look! this is just so (deep breath) sad!”

she really didn’t look too bad, and i tell her.

“seriously? i mean look, look at my eyes and my make up. it’s %#@* everywhere!”

really. you look fine. cute shirt.

(sniffs, wipes nose on arm)

“i just can’t believe i got wasted at an applebee’s…*&^@!..but thank (hiccup) you.”

i hold the door open for her, smile. she smiles back.

hopefully something in that interaction was helpful. it’s funny who crosses your path sometimes.

This will be my last “Fat Ragamuffin” update (I hope!)

If you are new here, you are probably thinking, “Now, what the heck is a Fat Ragamuffin? Sounds tasty though…” A few months ago, I really wanted to get into shape. So did my friend Los. And a bunch of other people (listled on his blog). We were supposed to post our weight weekly for a certain amount of time.

You can click the “Fat Ragamuffin” category link and see how I progressed but I am proud to report I have consistently (that is the key word!) maintained my goal weight (140ish) for the last two months and plan on keeping it that way. So, Mr. Ragamuffin Soul, I ask that I graduate from your FR class blogroll. Please send me a diploma.

Below is the progress…it takes time!! It takes effort!! And it will continue to do so.

9/4/06=167
1/1/07=162
1/8/07=159
1/15/07=158
1/22/07=156
1/31/07=154
2/6/07=152
2/13/07=150
2/27/07=149
3/7/07=146
5/27/07=142
6/27/07=138
7/16/07=135
9/4/07=130
10/7/07=130
2/28/08=130 (going strong!)
9/28/09=138 (Been floating at 135-140 for the last three months – time to gear up!!)

Thank you, and good night.

grace is not my middle name, and i mean that both literally and figuratively.

literally, i trip over myself or run into something at least five times a day. this makes for unsightly bruising and honestly, the occassional swear word may or may not slip out, depending on the severity of the blow. our coffee table is made of stone and has sharp iron edges. it does not feel good on the side of a bony knee.

figuratively, giving grace out is something very difficult for me. i have the worst tail-gating, excuse-me, did-you-just-cut-me-off driving temper. i’m still in that “everything is black and white” mindset and although there are just a few things that really get under my skin, when one of those things is provoked, my heart turns a wicked shade of puke green and tightens up into a mean little offended ball, pumping all the blood to my brain, where thoughts [of jealousy, pride, anger] stew and boil much like the second witch describes in shakespeare’s macbeth:

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

pretty, isn’t it?

i have been extended grace in so many ways by so many people. in my earlier blogging years, when i was even more idealistic and black and white than i am now, i made some extremely “passioniate” comments on other peoples’ blogs. fortunately, most of these people still talk to me; some even going beyond that and dare i say – befriending me?

marie is my middle name. i researched the origin of it and evidently the closest theory they can find for the meaning is “sea of bitterness” which actually seems more fitting to my current struggle. however, i also just researched the meaning of my first name, anne, which happens to be a french version of hannah, which means “grace.”

doh. it looks like i need to resolve my dual personalities…