Author: Anne Marie Miller

  • Looking for Love

    Brad Ruggles, who designed the magnificent Permission to Speak Freely site is currently tweaking my new blog design which should launch very soon. It is beautiful…because Brad can do nothing but amazing work.

    Over the last three years, you guys have made this an amazing gathering place and for the most part, you stick around and invite your friends which I really appreciate. I want to continue to make this a comfortable and safe place to get uncomfortable and dangerous.

    When the new site launches, it holds a few opportunities for people to help partner with me to support this blog (yes, that is my fancy way of saying advertising) and my new adventure into full time writing.

    Something I promise you with this is:

    • I’ll only partner with people and products I truly believe in and think will help you
    • It will never get in the way of the aesthetic or message of this blog
    • If it’s a sponsored post, I’ll let you know

    If you are SERIOUSLY interested in exploring a partnership, please email me. I have an amazing little packet chalk-full of demographics and statistics that can help you make a decision.

    Thanks for making this a great place. It wouldn’t be FlowerDust without you.

  • Help Some Inner City Pastors!

    Did you know that over the last two years, the readers from this blog have donated over $250,000 to charitable causes via child sponsorships, funding missionaries, buying malaria nets, blue tarps for hurricanes, shoes for the needy, and the Global Food Crisis? Pretty dang amazing! That is a QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS, you guys!

    I got an email from my friend and hero Ben Arment, purveyor of the Story Chicago Conference letting me know that he had just invited hundreds of low-income, inner city Chicago pastors to come to Story FOR FREE.

    Story Chicago

    —–

    Now, I don’t really know a whole lot about how conferences get funded, but my main guess is that it’s between sponsors and registrants. I think that it costs X amount of money per person to actually put on the conference. But Ben doesn’t care. He just really felt like he needed to invite these pastors to attend so he invited them without knowing where the money would come from.

    These are the pastors that never go to any conferences because many of them don’t get paid. They are in small inner city churches doing work and ministering in one of America’s poorest areas.

    Here’s the deal – just because these pastors are attending for free, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t “cost” anything for them to attend. Ben pretty much invested the hope of tens of thousands of dollars for these pastors to have this opportunity.

    I think this is one of those times where we can unite together as the church from all over and give generously again to help cover these pastors’ costs. Each ticket is $189, or $169 if we buy four or more. Which I think we can do.

    Since I know not everyone can drop $189 in a bucket, I asked Ben if we could allow everyone to donate what they could – whether it is $1, $5, $10, $100 or whatever over the next month to a Paypal fund and turn it all in at the end.

    To put my own money where my mouth is, I will personally match up to $500 of whatever is donated. And if you want to throw in a match amount as well, please email me! It can be a match of any amount.

    I am praying so hard that we will blow Ben away and that these inner city pastors will see the generosity of the church taking care of each other!

    For those of you who don’t know Ben, this guy quit a very successful career path in church leadership to put together this dream of Story Chicago which has been percolating in his head for years. His wife just had their third baby and he is literally living by faith daily. It’s incredible! And insane!

    Because he’s been such an inspiration in my own walk to do what God has put on my heart, I love supporting him however I can.

    And I hope that you will too.

    And by helping with these scholarships, you’ll be helping these pastors experience an amazing event.

    Donate below, and please spread the word!






  • Of Video Venues and Internet Churches

    The other day, I was having a conversation with two friends of mine: One is the worship pastor at a large, multi-site church and the other is a writer in disguise as a church conference guy.

    We were talking about multi-site churches and video venues and internet churches and we started wondering…

    Why is there more than one internet church? Couldn’t we all pull resources together for one online church?

    Why do most multi-site churches have to be video venues with the same speaker? Couldn’t each “campus” have their own campus pastor teach within the same theme or topic?

    There are many a great debate over these questions and so I ask you, with all the love you have inside of you, to discuss those questions.

    Let’s not debate if they are inherently right or wrong…but…let’s explore these expressions a bit, shall we?

    Respectfully. Please. Of course.

    (I wouldn’t expect anything less because you guys and gals are full of The Awesomeness!)

  • Addicted to Porn?

    Back in 2006, I had the opportunity to write an article for Relevant (which has been taken down after they relaunched their new site) about my addiction to pornography and boys and some pretty bad stuff in my later teens and early twenties. Every day, one of my top search queries – how people find this blog – is by searching for “women with porn addictions” or some variation of it.

    Every day.

    I get to travel and speak on the topic occasionally (you can see Mike Foster and I giving a talk at Community Christian Church in Chicago here) and I love to tell the story of how God has redeemed such a dark part of my life. However, it’s not the only part of my calling.

    When I was working in student ministry, I had a newly-graduated senior confess her addiction to me. That was probably five years ago. Ever since, she’s been healing and helping others heal.

    Today, my friend Crystal officially launches Dirty Girls Ministries and I’d love for you to check out what it’s all about. She offers online support groups and many other resources.

    It’s a place you can go and begin a path to becoming more and more free every day.

    Click here to visit Dirty Girl’s website or here to follow them on Twitter.

    (And by the way, Crystal, I am super, super proud of you!)

  • My Toxic Bottle of Water

    I have a terrible habit of not finishing beverages. Size doesn’t matter. Whether it’s a 16 oz bottle of water or an 8 oz tiny can of Diet Coke, I don’t finish it.

    Bottled water for some reason takes the brunt of my compulsion. It’s embarrassing to admit but there are times where I’ll just take a sip or two of a bottle of water and never touch it again.

    Such was the case with the bottle of water in my car. It was the middle of August and on this particular day I grabbed a bottle of water on my way out to run errands. I took two sips and it stayed boiling in my car ever since.

    On my way home from visiting a friend a few days later, I realized I was extremely thirsty. I hadn’t had a bit of water all day.

    Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper? bottled-water

    Yes.

    Lots of sips.

    Water?

    No.

    As I looked around my car, this forlorn bottle of water sat in my passenger seat. It was the only relief in sight and my forty-five minute drive stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic began to feel like six hours as the sun began to burn my left arm.

    “It’s not like it’s contaminated” I reassured myself. “It’s just really, really warm. That’s all. You can drink it. Come on.”

    I unscrewed the blue cap, letting a bit of the air out of the bottle and took a gulp.

    Warm and plasticky.

    Delightful.

    I began wondering how healthy this water could actually be if all I tasted was plastic. I thought about the segment on The Today Show where they compared the different numbers of the different plastics and I tried to remember which ones were toxic. Because I’m sure whatever it was I was drinking was not safe for consumption.

    The heat of the water I was drinking, the droplets of sweat forming in the small of my back, and the sun being magnified by my untinted windows took me back to my trip to India earlier this year.

    And this hot little bottle of water made me think of a little boy I met named Tushar.

    ***

    Tushar is a five year old who lives three hours outside of Kolkata. A few months ago, I began sponsoring him through an organization called Compassion International.

    When I was in India, a few days before I left, I had the chance to meet Tushar and his father. They took a train from their village into the city. The translator introduced us and I realized Tushar’s dad was holding a bag and would occasionally take out a bottle of water for his son.

    The bottle of water wasn’t like anything you or I would see, much less drink from, here in the States. There was no label. The outside was scratched.

    Yet what was most surprising was what kind of water the bottle contained.

    If I didn’t know better, I would think it was sun tea with lemon. It was a light brown, with little pieces of something floating in it.

    But it was Tushar’s water. His drinking water. Water that was so precious, his father helped him ration it throughout their trip.

    tusharAfter a visit to Science City, a museum that would be considered totally odd and possibly unsafe by Western standards, we went to a building that would be parallel to a Western mall. It had stores and a food court.

    And it was lunch time.

    Our host went to some of the restaurants to get us all something to drink. She came back with ice-cold bottled water.

    Clean, never opened, cold bottled water.

    Tushar’s dad reached across the table to open his bottle. Tushar leaned forward to take his first sip and when he grabbed the bottle for the first time, he immediately dropped it back on the table like it had bit him, almost spilling it. He pulled away and giggled.

    I was a little confused but very much intrigued by his reaction. He wiped the condensation off his hand and reached forward for the bottle of water again. This time he didn’t grab it. He merely touched it with a couple of his fingers.

    And Tushar giggled again.

    Finally I realized something. He’s never touched anything cold before.

    The area of India that he lives in rarely sees temperatures below 60 degrees.

    The cold surprised him.

    But in a good way.

    Playfully, I poured cold water from my bottle into the tiny blue cap and splashed him with it.

    He. Freaked. Out.

    We continued our little water fight until his dad moved his bottle closer to him, as to say ,”This is for drinking and not for playing,” and Tushar sat up, knowing his dad was serious, and took a sip.

    His eyes got wide as he felt the cold water slide down the back of his throat. When it reached his stomach, he grabbed his belly and grinned and giggled.

    Drinking cold water was such a new experience for this little boy.

    ***

    So, here I was, between Nashville and Franklin, Tennessee on I-65 contemplating the level of “poison” in my completely safe water and I wondered about Tushar and what he’s doing today. I wondered about his bottle of water. I doubt he was drinking anything nearly as clean or as available as I was. In fact, I doubt he had tasted water as cold or as clean since our time in the food court.

    I held back the tears that so wanted to escape and travel down my face because of the unfairness of it all.

    I wonder how many bottles of water I’ve carelessly and needlessly thrown away when a little boy and his family are grateful to have their dirty water in a bottle they found and probably share and hold dear.

    For Pete’s sake. Even my dog has access to cleaner water than Tushar.

    I can’t send Tushar clean water in the mail. I can’t take it to him or even make sure that he has access to it.

    It’s a helpless feeling.

    And it’s easy to ignore because it is so overwhelming.

    What can I do? I can give Tushar a voice. I can speak for him by telling his story. You’re reading about him now. Maybe you’ll want to share his story too.

    We may not be able to fix every problem we see, but we can allow the stories we hear to remind us of the incredible responsibility we have to share the needs of a broken world.

    These stories can awaken us and inspire us to act: We can donate money to a water charity or go on a trip to build a well or to take some clean water to the homeless in our own cities and towns.

    Now that you know, what will you do?

     

  • Hope for a Broken Heart

    I thought I was just overweight and out of shape.

    And while I was both overweight and out of shape, it really had nothing to do with the fact I couldn’t finish climbing up the thousand or so feet of Arthur’s Seat, a small mountain which overlooked the city of Edinburgh, Scotland.

    I was visiting some friends who were starting a community outreach and I wanted to climb to the top to pray over the city. A few hundred yards in, I couldn’t breathe, and my chest started hurting…

    It’s my time of the month!

    No…not like that.

    My time of the month to post at inCourage!

    Read the rest of Hope for a Broken Heart at inCourage…comments are off here to engage the conversation there!


  • What Have You Discovered Lately?

    I’ve been offline a bit more than usual lately, but tried my best to catch up with some of the interesting things on the interwebs. If you’re like me, you probably read a lot of the same blogs that say the same things (guilty).

    With that knowledge, I thought I’d introduce you to some people and ideas which might be new to you!

    **Sarah Markley shares a very raw and intimate journey of her extramarital affair nine years ago. It’s captivating, heart breaking, redemptive, and she writes beautifully.

    **Kary Oberbrunner, author of The Fine Line, discusses Ten Misconceptions of Women That Lead to Messy Theology.

    **Graham Brenna introduces us to Jimmy. Jimmy and his girlfriend were hit by a car. She died. He was in a coma with massive brain trauma. Now, he runs and inspires others to dream beyond their difficulties.

    **Jason is losing weight and raising money for a variety of causes that are opposed to consumption. A very noble and holistic challenge. He’s rocking it.

    **Brad Ruggles talks about the Dirt Conference Video Mash Up Contest. I’m speaking at this event and am super excited!

    **My leap-before-you-look hero Ben Arment is giving away FOUR tickets, FOUR books and FREE lodging to The Story Conference. I’m looking forward to a lot of events this fall, but I really think this is at the top of my list.

    **Nashville’s Amos House Community explores true transformation and justice.

    **And finally, what does Jesus say about Diet Coke?

    Let us know! What have you been reading that we should know about? Care to share?

  • Provision: How Precious Did That Grace Appear

    I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God created rain in such a fashion that it mimics the human tear.

    Have you ever had that moment when there’s nothing left inside of you, not even a tear to shed, and at the same moment you see a drop of rain cascade down the window of your house or across the windshield of your car as you drive and you feel somehow divinely touched?

    This year, I’ve spent more time on airplanes and away from home than my previous twenty-eight years combined. And while I do wholeheartedly enjoy a life of travel, of meeting new people and hearing new stories, the amount of time I spend alone and inside my own head can get the best of me at my weakest moments.

    Recently, after a week away from home and an overnight flight schedule with little time for sleep, I hit that wall. The wall where the last bit of your spirit slips right through your fingers and the only thing you have left are your doubts and insecurities and the dark weights of your past – the things which are so heavy it seems like they’ll never leave you.

    Taking my usual back row window seat, I rested my head against the thin plastic wall of the inside of the plane. A recent rain shower coated the plane in an army of tiny drops of water. Water, that, when we began taking off, gently rolled across the window in a pattern so parallel to the tears I wanted to cry, I could almost feel the cold, wet trails they would have left behind on my cheek if they had been my own.

    Yet they weren’t. And as those drops rolled across the window, I no longer felt the need to cry.

    How precious did that grace appear.

    Provision.

    It’s something we’re literally – and sometimes figuratively – graced with, when we are, well…without.

    ——-