i thought i’d share a few little blurbs with you from my article for the catalyst groupzine.? as soon as i know when you can order them, and when they’ll be available, i’ll let you know.
my article is called “the lonely leader and the power of truth” and here are a couple of thoughts from it:
Fear and loneliness are two inseparable lovers with a tragic common denominator: they seek to destroy the Kingdom within.
and
Sadly, we?ve often become so structured there?s no time to experience real life together.? We?re obligated to schedules and appearances but not to each other.? The business of community satisfies our addiction to productivity, but does nothing to nourish the anemia that is afflicting us.
as a leader…do you struggle with loneliness?? do you find that fear isolates you?
Comments
22 responses to “fear & loneliness”
thankfully, fear and isolation are not things i am battling.
your second quote reminded me of one of craig g.’s messages from How to Be Rich and the absolute necessity (if we want to experience the full life that is available) of ensuring we have appropriate “margins” in all areas of life. margins that allow us to enjoy the unscripted interactions with friends, family, strangers…
Wow, Anne! What poetic words and what great meaning. Thank you!
Sandy in Pinellas Park, FL USA
I try to fight those feelings of fear every chance I get. I don’t like the feelings of vulnerability either but I can’t stand the alternative!
Anne, I look forward to reading this! It wasn’t until I came to London that I realized how badly I’m a creature of comfort (busy-ness) and how much out of fear I live. I’m sure your wisdom on this will speak truth to those dark areas of my life.
There’s that word again…community….I say let them in….be so truthful and those of us in the ministry for ALL these years…be transparent and admit we struggle. There will be a ton of baggage disappear because when we see the community that struggles in that we are ALL in it together. So many times spouting ALL religious rhetoric and clothes in our pseudo-piety while most of our hearts are far from God.
And like you say, needing to experience REAL life together. Together we love…together we get understanding…..we even hurt together and are lonely at the same time. I’d love to see you write another book on just today’s take on fear and lonliness. We all suffer from it. Thanks for cause to ALL love God more!
Anne,
One of the best words in the English language is “no”.. I use it often. Definitely has cost me some gigs, but well worth it. That’s how ya know it’s God when the money could come in handy.
That’s where being lifestyle missionaries really has come into play for us. We don’t just see it as vocational ministry. It is not natural… therefore it is SuperNatural. And it takes far more of Him in us and through us than just us.
Loneliness comes from not being as connected as we were meant to be. The real source of that connectivity is God… the lover of our souls and very beings.
You are loved. You were just prayed for.
Camey
I totally identify with your statements. I have been serving with kids for about 4 months and I can find that I feel so disconnected with everyone outside of that ministry. Even in that ministry sometimes I am so focused on getting everything marked off my list that I still fight that loneliness.
I’m curious was the inspiration for that title Soren Kierkegaard’s Fear & Trembling…?
But I can’t respond as you requested because I do not yet consider myself a leader…
i think leaders, more than anyone in the Christian circle, struggle with loneliness. it’s hard to be friends with those that we are leading, but God is faithful to bring friendships along with like-minded leaders.
I tend to be an introvert by nature so i do tend to find myself lonely at times. I don’t think it’s because of fear but it may be sometimes. I know that when i reach out to other leaders i am usually glad i did. The thing that bugs me is i seem to always be the guy having to initiate connecting with others.
I think that a leader has to be surrounded by a strong team of trusted people. That way they have somebody to lean on when they feel isolated.
not so much in my current staff role but back when I was an elder… yowza! Lonliness and isolation seemed pretty much a prerequisite for the position! (everyone take a moment to pray for the elders in your church – there aren’t too many – if any – books or conferences for the stuff they face)
Awesome ‘addiction to productivity’ thought, Anne – that went up here on the staff whiteboard immediately.
I find that when these feelings are stronger within me, that I am farther from Christ than I need to be.
Absolutely. Since we left the church I burned out in, I’ve been afraid to stick my neck out and get involved at all. It’s unlike me to spend two years as a seat-warmer, but I have. I believe it was necessary for the first year, but after that, it was just fear. And, I HAVE been lonely! I’ve been trying to take steps of faith lately, and get together with people I would like to know. I also recently attended a “leadership orientation” class at my church for people thinking of doing any kind of leading there. I went with nothing in mind to commit to, I just know that I have the gift of leadership and I need to fight the enemy who wants to keep me living in fear and uselessness to God’s Kingdom. I’m still in process, but at least I’m taking some new steps!
Those are some great quotes. I love the Catalyst Groupzine. That’s so cool you’re writing for it this year!!
By the way, great pic that Daley took. I got some pics by him a couple days before he grabbed yours in Nashville. It’s kinda funny, when you look at yours on the blog it looks like you’re looking down and smiling at your comments. :-)
Yes and yes. But we are in a funny situation here on the mission field. We (more me then my husband) have an amazing community via computer world…but face to face contact with like minded believers isn’t even possible.Okay maybe it is, but we haven’t found any. So I battle loneliness daily. When we go back to the States we have to be “on” to tell our story and fund raise. Even with our family and friends…they all want to hear all about it(our experiences here-and since this is all we have known for over a year now-it’s pretty much all we have to offer into the conversations)…which is grand-we love sharing about how God has moved mountains here, but we really long for real solid Godly relationships that have nothing to do with ministry. Is that even possible?
The fear part really strikes a chord with me. I’m not sure that I could summarize why very neatly. But I think a lot of it has to do with fear of failure and fear of being left out and fear of not having enough. I’m sure there are more.
Absolutely I feel these things. I fear a ton of things in my life. They are all stupid and I know I shouldn’t but I do. Community is the only thing that cures my fear…
@christine – i’m not familiar with that title! i’ll have to look it up.
@brad – i saw your pics too. :)
@kristi – yes…i am learning it is…and it is great.
Thanks for your passion and clarity. You have a gift.
Thanks for sharing it
I feel lonely when I feel something is going on for me that I cannot “process” with a friend. Because there might be many topics that are “off limits” sometimes things weigh on me and I don’t know how to feel “connected” during those times. I don’t struggle with being vulnerable or authentic at the present moment, but sometimes I just yearn for a friend who understands what it’s like to be a woman who is in ministry leadership serving in a difficult situation. I have many friends, but there is some area of my life as a leader they may not be able to understand. Then I feel lonely.
BTW Anne, our discussion over coffee was one of the most wonderful moments of community for me……just hanging out at Whole Foods (who I now hear you are married to) sharing our stories and hearts. Thanks for interrupting your “schedule” to spend some time with me.
Anne…Love the transparent and authenic heart…When I think of the lonliness that I feel…that I’m already battling this morning… I peronally am encouraged to go back and look at the men and women used HUGHLY by God throughout history….Abraham followed in faith to a land unknown leaving his family (LONELY)….Joseph in prison and all his trials (LONELY)…David hiding in caves and running from Saul (LONELY) and even Jesus on the night on the night of his betrayal asking His Bro’s to stay up with him while he prayed (LONELY)….While I hope this doesn’t sound like another nice wraped biblical answere, it is a place of encouragement that God reminds me of very often…But still, I usually feel lonely until I surround myself with some kind of fellowship or business…(isn’t the business really just another way to shut out what I’m feeling????kinda sounds like when I ran to drugs!!!)
Be confident of yourself and your abilitly to change lives…Its just the gift God has given you!!
Peace!