The History
Over the course of six months in 1996/1997 when I was 16 and 17 years old, a 25-year-old Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary student named Mark Aderholt sexually abused and assaulted me as a minor.
In 2007, I turned him into his employer, the Southern Baptist Convention’s mission arm, the International Mission Board (IMB) who investigated him and found my accusations credible. He was allowed to resign and went on to be a pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Little Rock, Arkansas, and then an executive in the South Carolina SBC. He listed people from the IMB as references on his resume.
In 2018 I learned he was never reported to authorities, so I reported him.
Two months later he was arrested for 3 sexual abuse felonies. A year of motions for hearings went by and at the last minute at the last hearing, before a trial was scheduled, Aderholt’s defense attorney asked the prosecutors for a plea deal. The DA’s office took my input seriously as they determined what to do.
Factors that Played in a Plea Deal vs. Trial
We knew we had a strong case, yet we were concerned from the history of the Tarrant County Grand Jury that it would not move into an indictment because less than 50% of sexual abuse cases actually move past the Grand Jury here, especially cases that are many years past.
But the evidence was so compelling that the Grand Jury who indicted him actually added a fourth felony charge in addition to the three he was arrested for—a very rare situation. Even with this, I was told how the trial process would be lengthy and emotionally re-traumatizing, and statistically, not hopeful.
Many people have asked questions about the punishment not fitting the crime(s). I fully agree, and at the same time, want to explain what went into that process and decision in hopes of shedding light on the complexity of the criminal justice system, and its need for reform. Those accused of all crimes should, by all means, have the due diligence they are promised. However, the system is not set up in a way that provides the care victims of crimes need. With that being said, I feel fortunate both the detective who took my case and the assistant DA who brought the prosecution and stood up for me in court did wonderful jobs in caring, compassionate ways. This is not always the norm, but to imply the entire system is broken wouldn’t be truthful or respectful of those who are compassionate. Their jobs are not easy, and they carry a lot of responsibility.
Photo by Jon Shipley, Houston Chronicle.
Criminal Considerations
In the year Aderholt was arrested, only 1% of felony cases in Tarrant County go to a jury trial. The number of sexual assault cases is going up here, but the acquittal rate is also going up meaning the percent of sex assault cases is rising to the point of making it past the Grand Jury, yet more and more criminals are being acquitted.
Almost half of the felony cases in Tarrant County result in “not guilty” verdicts.1
Personal Considerations
I had to consider my own health, how the trial would affect my daughter (who was 3 at the time), what it would be like to have every recollection of my abuse on public record where anybody could read about what happened in great detail, and the financial cost from spending time away from work and nursing school, which I already had to take a year away from during the investigation and resulting re-traumatization (not to mention, freak accident).
It seemed as if the wisest choice for me would be to support the plea deal. I knew he would be pleading guilty to an assault charge (albeit a misdemeanor) and serving a maximum sentence for that, and I knew at the end of it, as long as he followed the terms of his probation, his criminal record would be clear and he would not be on any sex offender registry.
The trial would not guarantee a guilty outcome, and would never allow me to hear him admit any guilt. At the hearing for his sentencing for his plea deal, hearing him say, “guilty” and facing some criminal consequence plus staying healthy for myself and my daughter was worth the trade-off to me.
Something I truly believe is at the end of the day, if the “justice” a trial might bring to me, if that cost me my health, my ability to be present with my daughter, and my livelihood, would that really be justice for me?
The Hearing and Sentencing
On July 2, 2019, 364 days since Aderholt’s arrest on July 3, 2018, with my family, a dozen or so friends and supporters from social media, some law enforcement folks, attorneys who became friends, and SBC pastors I met along the way present in the galley behind me, Aderholt was read all of his charges and pled guilty to an added fifth misdemeanor assault charge.
He was brought by his attorney in front of the galley, between the judge and where I stood just a few feet away from him. He looked at the floor. I read my victim impact statement to him. He could not look me in the eye although I asked him to when I told him I forgave him and prayed he embraces the grace of God in his own life, that there is healing for him waiting for him to simply accept it. To end his lies. To make it right.
Today, he finishes his sentence and his record is wiped clean.
He is physically free from his criminal record, but I am spiritually free because of who I am in Christ. He has that choice too.
I will close this statement with this:
May God have mercy on us.
Lord, hear our prayers.
Additional Notes:
The IMB, who failed to report the abuse to law enforcement after determining in a lengthy internal investigation that my allegations were credible.
They initially did a terrible job responding to the abuse allegations and the arrest, going into a defensive, damage-control mode, inferring that I was even lying, a statement that has since been corrected. But when the interim president David Platt heard about it a couple of weeks later upon returning from remote Africa, within hours he was on the phone with me apologizing, asking for forgiveness for how the IMB responded, listening, and asking what he can do to make it right. He began the process of the IMB hiring an independent firm to conduct an examination of my case and every other abuse case reported to the IMB. Current president Dr. Paul Chitwood also asked to speak with me a few times and listened to my story and took my input.
It has not been a perfect process and even considering the last SBC annual meeting, I have hope for the future and am encouraged by the good things brave survivors and pastors are fighting for.
The fact they have to fight for them is disheartening.
But as He always does, I have no doubt God will shine a light on the truth and the evil-the evil sometimes disguised as pastors saying vile things to survivors, harassing them, even saying some are better off dead-will crawl its way back to the darkness from where it came.
And to survivors: People often say, “you are so much more than your abuse!”
I’d like to add to that and say, “You are NOT your abuse. The abuse you endured is not you.”
I promise you the light will get brighter and brighter, and healing will come, even if you feel the emptiness that lives beyond the suffocating darkness you may feel you’ll never escape.
I promise it gets better. Do not give up.
To Mark: should you find your way to reading this, please know that God is pursuing your heart just as he pursues all of ours. I pray you experience the grace you preached about for yourself. I still forgive you, and I still pray for you to find the peace and freedom that I’ve found through Christ.
To Mark’s family: I am sorry you have had to go through this difficult situation as well. You’ve constantly been in my prayers since the very beginning, decades ago. I pray for peace for your hearts too.
1 Data between 2014 and 2018, when my case was brought forward.