did you know?
–there is a female feature we call breasts. they can also be referred to as “boobies,” or “the twins,” or “the rack,” or “jugs,” so on, so forth.
–most men find this particular feature interesting. tempting. and amazing.
–upon catching a glimpse of said feature (regardless of how much is actually exposed), it is likely for a man’s mind to go to places it shouldn’t.
–with above knowledge, women, you now are educated and have no excuse.
–PLEASE USE WISDOM WHEN YOU DRESS YOURSELF.
aside: call me a prude. call me whatever. i don’t really care. and as much as this may seem like “casting judgment” (said in a very, scary, echo-y loud voice) on members of the female gender, please get a freaking clue.
i was doing some bloggy-clicking-around during my lunch and it amazes me how many “nice christian girls” (some who are even in church leadership – gasp!) show quite a bit of skin. in the office, at church parties, whatever (oh, and then post them ALL OVER THE INTERNET!)
please forgive me if it seems i have something stuck, as they say, where the sun don’t shine.
I DO.
it’s called modesty.
and if you are supposed to be living examples of godly women…you should too!
that is all.
sermon over.
please, carry on.
Comments
163 responses to “my thoughts on boobies”
The PERFECT post to coincide w/ me linking to you today! :p
May I give a hearty amen and hallelujah to your boobie words of wisdom.
What no picture?
http://asbojesus.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/448/
I can respond very humorously on this topics about uhmm…but I can’t even say it. I guess chalk this one up as one of the things I can’t say in a christian blog! hehee…
Canned tuna=chicken of the sea, that’s why it tastes like chicken.
I’m on a diet too.
Amen…and thank you!
Preach on sista!
Thank you, Anne.
You don’t know how many arguments I gotten into with young women over the issues of modesty.
Young Woman: I am going to wear something that shows off my assets so I want you to look.
Me: Sister, you are not my wife so I am not going to look at you that way. I am going to look into your eyes in the entire time. Test me!
Our voices were slightly raised during this conversation.
well said, friend. i suspect joy would definitely agree. :)
True Dat Sista!
Ebonics Translation= That is true, Sister in Christ!
I agree…good post
Thanks Anne for the post! I can’t even go in to my neighborhood Chick-fil-A anymore without feeling like I’ve just stepped into a softcore porno.
However, being slightly realistic men shoulder some of the blame as well. We’ve unfortunately, whether intentionally or not allowed women for too long to feel like dressing in a manner that isn’t necessarily modest is what they need to do to grab our attention.
Guys, it’s important that you let women know, spouse or otherwise that they are beautiful (obviously if they’re not your spouse you may need to watch your words) and that there is no need to bare their assets for the world to see.
that was probably the best twitter to get…hilarious.
thanks for saying sometime…it was much needed.
Or, rather, DON’T carry on.
preach it.
thank you…
this is something that i feel very strongly about as well
and its is challenging in todays fashion foward world to find things that we can wear and reflect Chirst…..
i will point many towards your blog!!!
Oh – and it’s true ladies… men are obsessed with the mams… I think it has something to do with being infants.
Best. Post. Ever.
Although, I’m gonna be mad if this post show up on my X3 report!
anne, i agree with you to a point and i personally am a modest girl.
but where do you draw the line? is it immodest to wear a bathing suit on a beach in front of a man? or shorts/skirts 2 inches above the knee if they are attracted to legs?
i’ve always thought this was an interesting topic b/c it’s hard to distinguish what is considered the responsibility of the woman, compared to when a guy just needs to get over the fact that there are attractive women out there.
thanks for posting this!
Nicky – I think the answer is wisdom and conviction through the Holy Spirit. If that is an answer. :)
Well said!!! Amen!!!
As a leader of a young youth band, I have to address this with some teens. Thanks for reminding me!!!
fine. i’ll delete the photos. geez.
bless you, anne jackson.
Nicky, I personally hate wearing a bathing suit in public. Makes me feel naked.
I like the suits with the little skirt bottom. That helps me feel a little more covered. Swim shorts are also trendy now, as are the rash guard tops. Who knew modesty could be fashionable??
Praise Jesus for this post. I totally agree.
I must say i was a bit tempted to look through my photos to see if i could find anything inappropriate, but then i remembered that I would rather wear a sweatshirt every day of my life than some halter top. That word scares me. :) haha.
I am HUGE fan of the swim shorts. mainly because my hips jiggle. :)
Well said. As a side note, I know someone whose little boy calls them “wiggles” and seems to think they are removable.
Boy do I wish that was the case.
So glad a tweet that said “my thoughts on boobies” got me interested enough in coming over! HAHA.
This is just so true though and such a great post! Why is it that we either have turtleneck prudes or women of the night modeling behavior for my daughter? Why can’t there just be an attitude of modesty?
I face the same thing with my students each week at Youth.
Anne you forgot to mention “funbags”
It is an interesting culture we live in when women can flaunt their boobies all over the internet, but get asked to go sit on the toilet rather than breastfeed in public. But that’s a whole other soapbox. :-)
What really bothers me is the fifteen year olds that come to church in these new-fangled mini-mini skirts.
…and as a father of two beautiful girls, THANK YOU!
I wonder what those atheists think about this.
p.s. hips jiggle???
I hate it when people stare at my chest.
We need to CLEAVE to Jesus!
this has been a battle for me all week!!! for whatever reason, everywhere i turn, every channel i turn to…insert nickname here…this was needed!!!
in fact i do believe this would be worthy of a special post/tag from my blog!!!
thanks anne!
Anne,
ummmm…remember Harmony?
:)
This was a great post. Thank you for the reminder…for all of us.
@ joe kennedy – and bless boobies too.
@Monica Brand – I’m glad you cleared that up with the 2nd paragraph… I was gonna say, how can not wearing a bathing suit not make you feel naked. :P
It’s a shame that modesty is a gradient of acceptability: on one end a burka the other pasties. Wouldn’t it be easier if it were a finite truism?
With this and other posts I am picking up an undercurrent of blame rather than personal accountability. “The boobs made me leer.” or “We need a rule against men and women of the clergy being alone together.”
If I want to look at your boobs, that’s about me and my desires and my failings, not about your advertising. I’m the one at fault. The one in the wrong. And I’ve chosen to be that way. I wasn’t tricked by your cleavage. Adam chose to eat the apple. It seems contrary to what God’s all about to judge the leered at rather than the leerer–or anyone as I recall.
To me this suggestion is nothing more than a watered down version of blaming the rape victim.
Might I add another name for them, looking at your blog photo here Anne – “The Beatles” – ? Sorry . . . just couldn’t resist that one. I really couldn’t. Now someone please hit me.
Seriously, good post. If woman only knew just HOW visual men’s minds are – you’d have NO idea. And it’s documented we are wired that way in order to seek out “healthy mates” in order to be fruitful and multiply. Hard to fight DNA. I’m not excusing doing all we can as men to keep that within the principles God intended. But ladies . . . y’all can make it really challenging sometimes with just what probably appears as a modest form fitting/tighter pair of jeans and a blouse. I realize it’s SO trying with today’s fashions (I have a wife and and 10 year old daughter.) But as men, we’re so confronted with “skin” coming at us constantly from every media form . . . it’s a constant barrage and real challenge for some of us – especially if we’re extra visually wired, creatively, etc.
…This post makes my eyes drift towards your picture in the left corner…
Anne,
Now this is a topic I can speak Very intelligent about. After all, I have spent YEARS researching this very topic. So much so that I could author books and books on the subject. If you need to tap into my extensive knowledge on the subject in the future, let me know. Anyway, it is great that you, a woman, posted on this and you “seam” to know, but trust me women you have no idea. If you could visit a dude’s mind for a day in the spring time, you would wear a suit of armor for the rest of your life. And still that wouldn’t deter the “thoughts” from happening.
Brian
http://brianalexander.wordpress.com
well said brian!!!
indeed!
Douglas, as I agree with your opinion that a man will be held accountable to his actions, the Bible is also very clear on modesty:
1 Timothy 2:9 – “And I want women to be modest in their appearance.
Can’t really explain that any differently.
Now – guys does this apply to just size C perky boobs or slightly sagging size D boobs or all boobs in general? What about the muffin roll that is about 10 inches below the boobs – does that attract or deter the attention when it is showing thru the bottom of the blouse?
And what about the opening at the armpit level – does peeking thru the armpit count? Or the V-Neck that shows all when you are on stage singing and lean over to put the mic in the stand and you show all.
Or – what about your teenage girl wearing the shorts that barely cover her crouch when she is sitting down? can you please put some clothes on her when my family comes over…
it’s so stupid that it’s almost funny. People if you are a size 12 than buy size 12 clothes not size 8 or 10.
@ Sharon. everything counts.
These are the best comments I’ve ever read.
I think the problem lies in the reality that parents don’t inform their girls how guys think. As adults, we all know how us men think. Its not even something we have to try to do, it just happens. As a guy its my responsibility to try to stay away from the stuff that causes me to go into a lust frinzy. However, if girls/women new what actually went through a guys mind daily, I believe all girls/women would be wearing snowsuits…and I DO NOT exagerate.
Okay that’s it for me. Thanks Anne for posting this.
http://www.vagabondrunn.wordpress.com
This is so going to be on my X3 watch!
Can I just give a big shout out to Will Young’s comment. Right on, brother!!!
I sometimes struggle with modesty because I so crave to feel like men find me attractive. I think this is true for a lot of women. (Single or married.)
So when you have the chance to affirm a women’s physical appearance, always take it. It will go a long ways towards helping her fight the temptation to dress immodestly.
@ Brody…nice.
You know what would be awesome? Some guy – COMMENT on what actually goes through your mind on a daily basis. Do it anonymously (I promise I won’t track the IP). But I think that would be great for women to see. FOR REALS.
I’m curious women . . . do ANY of you have the same problem with men and their clothing choices at all? Ever? My wife and I (of 19 years!) had a very frank discussion on this not too long ago, and she admitted that there is NOTHING for her visually in looking at Men then sends her mind anywhere. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Never has been. Not that she doesn’t deny that there are men who “God put together well” but it does nothing more for her than when she would see a woman for whom “God put together well” as she calls it. Now, if she develops a relationship with this man, and he treats her really nice, talks to her a certain way/manner, etc. – then over time, the visual comes along with that she says. And we discussed how this is SO different than me, where I can catch a brief tenth of a second glimpse of a bikini clad babe on a some commercial – just out of the corner of my eye even – and BAM – my mind is THERE and attracted. Like a magnet. And I don’t even really have to go all the way to any “fantasy” mode. It’s just a magnetic immediate attraction of “hey – NICE Body . . . what a smile . . . great hair . . . etc.” And of course, this can move into “fantasy mode” if I allow it – or not.
Granted, I have found I am a VERY visually stimulated guy in all respects of my life, being highly creative and artistic. It’s something I really have to work to keep control of. Not only visually, but emotionally as well with women, I’ll be honest.
Anyway – just curious if you women deal with any of the same sorts of thing visually. What do us men do if anything that is a struggle? Is it ever?
I agree with modesty – i also think the church goes to the extreme of legalism too many times to cover up the boobies making the problem a woman’s. Jesus said if you eye offends you – cut it out. In my estimation – men also need to learn self control. I went to lunch today and walking in front of me where two women. One of them turned profile to talk to the other. She wasn’t dressed provocatively or anything – but lets just say when she turned profile – I noticed. I was worried she might tip over – and I had to tell myself – “every thought captive to jesus” – and turn my head and keep walking.
morning. sex. breakfast. sex. video games. sex. work. work. work. work. work. sex. work. work. sex. drive home. sex. dinner. sex. American Idol. sex. separate the recycling. sex. write blog. sex. brush teeth. sex. sleep.
repeat. sex.
Anne, it’s like we’re constantly (and unconsciously) looking for waldo. Anytime our brain thinks it sees that red hat somewhere it catches our attention.
uhhhhh…WOW! My wife would truly appreciate this.
Oops…so much for anonymity. Ah well. Hello world. My name is Todd and I’m a man.
What man? Who’s a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Why yes, technically I am.
Anne,
I don’t care I’ll do it FOR REALS. You know that big Flashing Arrow on the highway? That is what even the least amout of cleavage is for a man. It is uncontrollable. It is not even a choice. The testosterone surges and the brain says LOOK!!!! Also realize that Any, Any, ANY skin that is exposed from you chest down to your knees, will draw attention. Just picking up lunch (15 min) I fought this 5 times.
i’ll add three more any’s to brian’s statement…
Morning:
Get up
Pee
Shower (fight off urges while showering)
Get dressed
Leave for work (while driving constantly checking out every girl that you pass by, or even some days taking the route to work that goes through the university’s campus)
Mid-day:
Work all day (mean while when ever woman comes by you or talks to you, you constantly want to look down. As the walk away you look at the butt at least 85% of the time)
Go to lunch (continue to check out girls, not even on purpose)
Evening:
Go home from work (again while checking out all the girls you pass)
Fix dinner
Wurf the tv and stop if a cute girl is on the tv.
Goto bed and fight that once again “urge” that guys fight constantly, as we replay EVERYTHING we saw with our eyes that day in our head.
Honestly Anne, as a guy, I think about sex so much throughout the day. Not on purpose or by trying, it just comes up in my mind. When I see a girl that has a low cut shirt on, I try not to look, but that desire is so strong some days that it overrules my will power and I look and look and look again.
Then you have to see these teenie boppers wearing their Hollister or Abercrombie short skirts that the but cheeks hang out of or when they sit everything is out there. It just makes it so tough for guys to not think about that stuff when we don’t need anything to think about it to start with.
and really it’s even more than just skin…even when they’re covered by the shirt is skin tight and draws attention to them…but of course that same shirt doesn’t cover all the skin down to the belt so it wouldn’t matter…
I resonate with Brian above. And it’s not even that I’m “physically” turned on or anything – yet – but the mind is certainly set in motion and primed to go there. It’s like there’s a homing beacon always on the go.
C Jennings – i feel this weird feeling to be severely honest.
as a woman i am very visual. if i guy has his shirt off and he is “cut” my mind wanders. so for me going to the beach is no “walk in the park” because there are a lot of nicely cut men in their board shorts.
i think that it is a battle that we all face from time to time. it is recognizing it and then not letting it run your life. i cant make sure that each guy is covered, but i can control my mind.
but women, because men across the board struggle with it we have to be responsible to help them.
I know that i wouldn’t like my husband having those thoughts about someone else, but am i doing that to someone else’s husband? that i how i gauge my outfits.
wow, done with the honesty thing. phew…i can breathe.
I do everything I CAN to hide my “girls”! only other person who gets any action off of them besides my hubs, is my 5 month old!
What us men think? I’m with Todd…
Wake up. boobies. brush teeth. sex. pray. sex. drive while thinking about boobies. sex. work. work work. boobies. lunch. work. sex. work work work. drive home. sex. boobies. kiss wife hello. sex sex sex. boobies sex sex. dinner. sex. give kid bath and put him to bed. sex. boobies. time with wife. boobies please. read. sex. goodnight. dream of sex.
sorry…that’s about how it goes.
They (the type of girls you’re referring to) like attention, and showing skin sure gets them attention. If only they would realize it’s the quality of attention that matters, not the quantity. That’s not the kind of attention I want, I’m worth more than that.
Anne,
You want to know the “power” of the Boobies? My Blog stats have soared since this discussion started. ;)
Anne – I think you SERIOUSLY found the topic/title for your next book – “Women . . . If You Only Knew – (The Thought Life of The Male Mind.)” Write it in conjunction with a man to give it proper credibility.
@Reese _ I sort of disagree. Sure there are some that crave attention, but seriously, at least from my personal experience, our eyes look for any opportunity to imagine.
And boy does the world offer us many opportunities.
ps. I think most of the men keep coming back here just because their mind thinks they’ll somehow get a glance at a pair. Just the mere discussion of them causes our minds to stir.
i’m with cjennings on the new book title!!! that would be a best seller even when readers don’t know the content!!!
@ Mud Puppy. You are right it is the imagination that will get you too.
I can only imagine the hundreds of ideas for cover art for that book! That could be a LOT of fun. I want a cut of the royalties for the idea, Anne. And of course, I’d be only too happy to co-write with you!
seeeee, even talking about it causes a guy to “imagine” things…not good!
Oy vey!!
Anne,
why did you change the pic on the side of the blog? or is it randomly generated? I don’t know because I typically read via RSS…
Anne, even ignoring my disbelief that the Bible is a line for line instruction manual on how to guide my spirit and person, I think Timothy’s command to be “modest in appearance” is open to a wide range of interpretation. Surely the various definitions of modest, including the one specific to sexuality, could be argued to be influenced by society and context?
I think that everyone gets to be as modest as they want to be, not as modest as I would have them.
Zak-there is one comment up there…or a couple :) as well as some feedback I received not through comments. No big deal.
Can I be like you when I grow up? Seriously. Best post ever.
nice. i hate it when i get looks too…:)
you rock anne.
anne – thanks sister!!! if i were there i would give you a completely appropriate one armed hug to the side!!!
lynse leanne – thanks for your honest sharing. I agree – I think we can all be wired up to one degree or another, both men and women. I know men who struggle with this sort of thing a LOT, and I know others who don’t seem to at all. Either that, or their lying big time! :-)
One thing I wonder: I’ve never had an uncontrollable addiction to porn. These days I find the idea and images more offensive than provocative or attractive. But as a typical male who WAS exposed to porn at a young age in my relatives basement stash of magazines, and has unfortunately seen his share of it over the years -B.C. days and afterwards – both in pictures and videos, and who of course has seen what is on TV and in movies with just PG – R rated material: Where would my mind go with seeing women today if I had never been exposed to such images and ideas all my life? Would there still be the seemingly insatiable desire to “look” and “imagine”? Does my mind go there because I know where the physical CAN go in so many different ways? I guess seeing that this has probably been the #1 sin issue all the way through history, probably not. But I wonder. I guess my question is: If we men grew up wild and primitive our whole life away from any modern visual stimulation, and then were exposed to (gasp) “WOMEN!!!” – what would the effect/result be within us? :-)
Anne,
Thank you for this post its true.
Douglas,
Its both dude, from a Christians perspective once you say yes to Jesus it is no longer just about you, we all have a responsibility to our brothers and sisters to encourage and preserve them until Jesus comes back.
@ Jon Or an A-frame hug
I could not agree more. Great post. As a woman and mama to 4 girls and 1 boy this is a big issue for my DH and I – to raise our girls to dress and BE modest.
@ brian that would work too!
Luckily that is something that my girlfriend has no problem with. But she was amazed at the way women (even the worship leaders wife/backup vocalist) dressed at my previous church. That is one of the reasons why we left.
Mike
From my worship arts pastor’s blog a few years back:
“This “Modesty Heart Check” is available in the Sovereign Grace Online Book Store. http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=A1170-06-59 You have to register to download it, but it is free once you jump through the hoops. It gives women and girls some very practical tips of how to dress modestly. It has been very helpful for my own family as we struggle to reconcile hip fashion with God’s desire for women to maintain modesty. Remember, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” (Proverbs 11:22)”
for reals… as a former porn addict and even as a total hetero woman… it makes me struggle to see a woman all out there… triggers past struggles. if this happen to ME – i can’t imagine what it does to every man in the world. just saying.
Honestly, I think some of the guys who’ve commented are exaggerating a little, but only a little.
The mind wandering throughout the day is more related to curiosity than to sexual arousal. Ron White made a joke once about how he got flashed by an ugly woman with super-ugly boobies. His first reaction was disgust. Then he was like, hmm. Then he said, Once you’ve seen one pair…you want to see the rest.
I know my own curiosity waned since I got married. The mystery wasn’t a mystery anymore. I could get my fill any day of the week, so it wasn’t as enticing.
Of course, there’s still sexual sin of the mind, but that’s a whole different story.
stupid blog haters. you looked fabulous in your other blog photo as well. but this one is great too! :)
@ Read. We are saying the same thing. It IS about the sin of the mind.
Just to clarify – I had some comments that didn’t come on the blog which also led me to want to take that photo down. So, you are all coo’. ;)
Interesting post
Heres some food for thought though. I heard a Muslim man say that he is totally attracted to the ankles of a woman. And why is that, well in strict Islamic cultures they cover themselves head to toe. Dont kid yourself about covering, Men are looking at you anyways, its just part of their visual nature.
Did Ringo want .01 for every visitor to your blog?
This is wonderful to read. My husband and i have worked with teens on and off and it is such a huge issue! Not just in teens though. I’m sad when I see grown women showing it all. I often tell him not to look…well, that can cause him to look though. Anyways, I’m not sure why ladies feel the need to show it all off but to get attention. It makes me sad. They need to get things straight with God…he’s all they need. If they really knew and understood the way men think they’d stop and hopefully realize how wrong it is. I’m positive women will be held accountable for this issue in a big way.
I’ve hear the fashion excuse too….but, I can’t find anything that’s more modest…it’s not in style. Bologna!
Funny how women really don’t think the same way about men.
Could be a sweet book idea here…
@John T
I agree. But that does not abdicate the woman from her responsibility either. It is a two way street. Men are responsible for controlling their thoughts and women are responsible for not being a stumbling block (and in this case obeying the command to dress modestly).
The two are not mutually exclusive.
Mike
@ Godzgal. Good point, saying don’t look doesn’t work, it makes it even worse
On a related note, my post titled Yawalapiti Breasts still brings in a ton of traffic.
It has to do with indigenous breasts on television.
Preach it, Sister!
ps. I just realized my last post looked like I was trying to hijack this thread, but that wasn’t my intent by any means. It just occurred to me when John T mentioned the ankles.
It’s true it is what we can’t/shouldn’t see that makes us want to see it more
Anne-what you say is true.
Ladies, put them away. They’re just round balls of flesh with mammary glands inside.
Ok, while I totally agree with you – I have trouble even with maternity shirts finding something that I don’t need a cami with to cover things up and c’mon revealing maternity wear?!? – I also find that it doesn’t really bother me when others let the girls hang out too much. I think it makes women look sort um… well… trashy. But I tend to just think, “oh hunny… someone should tell you that you look desperate” and not, “that’s inappropriate.” Boobs don’t offend me… they just make me want to take the offender shopping for some more clothes.
well this post is all the buzz today.
And rightly so!
Well said Anne – Thank you!!!
We can usually expect about this time of year for our lead Pastor to make an announcement to the female types and their “girls”. He asks every year to use discretion and dress respectfully as to not give men any more reason to stumble in their thoughts. I love it!!!
This, and no more booty crack please!
Tam,
The correct term is Butt Cleavage
THANK YOU!!! As someone who has had his share of problems with pornography, I can tell you that even the slightest hint of cleavage is enough to get my mind going in the wrong direction.
Girls, do us guys a favor… cover them boobies up!
Stupid boobies…
@ Klint. Two words that should never be together
Wow–the air on this thread is thick with repressed sexuality. I suspect that’s part of the problem for those men who think about sex every minute of the day.
And as harshly as the church has repressed sexuality, I also suspect that it doesn’t matter whether the boobies are visible or invisible–repressed Christian men (and boys) especially will covet them.
That’s weird. I just let them hang out all in the free flowing air. No one seems to ever say anything.
Ok… seriously – great topic. It took me a long time to figure this out since I didn’t grow up with a Dad and only had sisters. We were all pretty clueless.
Thanks, Anne, for posting this today.
Paging Dr. Freud…
What about moobies? Should men be concerned about modesty with them?
Anne-
Is this a record for blog post comments on your site in such a short amount of time?
Oh my goodness I just saw C Jenning’s post..The Beatles, too funny!!!!! LOL.
Larry The Cable Guy says: I don’t care who you are that’s funny right dere!
Anne, a ton of applauds!!! Very well spoken. Standing ovation …..Yay!!!!!
dang – now I can only think of one thing. well 2. Honey!….
Thank you so much for addressing this. I am so sad when I see women dressed inappropriately. Our guys have a difficult enough time in this day and age without us doing stuff like this.
you are right on, sister. thanks for sharing!
I’m with Crystal. I’m completely 100% hetero too. But a nice perky rack gets MY attention. Can’t even BEGIN to imagine what it does to men. I saw this mom at a park the other day while I was playing with my 2 kids and I could NOT take my eyes off of her. Tiny little tank top midriff shirt on w/hip hugger jeans and a cowboy hat. She was gorgeous and fit and very sexy. No man on the planet stood a chance of not looking. No way.
Great post. But I have to say that maybe I have broken some modesty rules lately? It’s hot down here and spaghetti straps on a tank top are sooo nice in this Florida heat. Hmm.
Wow. So this is what happens when I don’t read blogs for a day. I miss it all. Or did I?
My concern is the assumption that only big boobs = nice boobs. Who decided this? Beautiful boobs come in all shapes and sizes, and as a man, bigger is not always better.
@Brian
yes. that was gonna be my choice but i was trying to be nice. ;)
hmmm…
never mind
i meant
butt cleavage.
ahhhh – I feel SO much better now.
:D
This is GREAT! Humorous Truth! Thank you!
“We battle not against flesh and blood…”
The only victory in my own life (man with plenty of contact with attractive women showing their ______ on a daily basis) comes when I truly remember that this is a spiritual battle. The effects of continuing down the path and letting lust slide, are more than I care to pay for.
(How come no one has mentioned “fawns” or “hills of Bether” yet?)
And by the way, this is a constant battle not ever one that a guy can say he has completely conquered. God’s mercies are new every morning says Lamentations, but our dependence on them must also be new each day.
on another note – i have checked out almost all the female bloggers blogs that have posted here and an amazing thing happened
you all have the most beautiful smiles!!! the guys were just plain ugly though
thank you ladies, and I mean ‘ladies’, for speaking out and raising your daughters with modesty
you see, some of us have sons that will marry someday and I pray they marry your daughters who are being raised up with your modesty values
my oldest is 19 and a professional musician(and very hot so the church girls say)on his way to Nashville and omgosh (as the girls say)you won’t believe how the ‘church’ girls dress to get his attention at concerts –
funny thing is that he laughs at them because he can see absolutley none of the 500 girls in the crowd because of the lights!!!
‘there’s a little girl out there….’ beautiful song
keep it covered ladies – as the men said, imagination is a powerful thing – the less you show the more we imagine – ever thought about it that way? plus, bras improve the look by at least 75%
now – can we discuss the butt cleavage and the top of the thong or undies showing from your pants when you bend over? or worse, i’m in church and can tell you what coler the pastor’s wife AND daughters are wearing – forgive me Lord – what’s up with low pants and the high rise panties thing anyway?
is it a prestige thing to wear certain undies -like a Gucci bag thing(pardon the pun)???
Something I have found disturbing is that a few friends of ours (women are married and believers in Christ) have recently had the breast implant surgery. I guess to many times we just take it for granted that those who know Christ will also listen to God’s Word, but I guess not all of the time eh? Perhaps their husband struggles with lust so much that they are forced to become someone they are not just to keep things under control. GOODNESS! What is this world coming to?
I played in a Christian band for awhile. We played a concert at a waterpark in SoCal one time. The promoters set the stage up on the “beach” in front of the wavepool.
So, the bands all played facing the “beach”… which was full of young ladies… dancing… in swimsuits. Great setting for a “Christian rock” concert. Really made it easy to communicate the truth of the Gospel thru song.
As we took the stage, the singer in the band that played before us (who shall remain nameless) said “Don’t look up – you’ll forget the words.”
Wow you hit the nail on the head with that one. I work with women that could care less what they show and how much they show… the men love it.. and let me just say THESE WOMEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING WHEN THEY GET DRESSED IN THE MORNING AND WALK OUT THE DOOR!!! In my case at work, I’ve heard so many comments between men and these women it makes me sick to my stomach. MEN out there, treat us like ladies, keep your comments to your selves, WALK AWAY FROM THE SITUATION, show respect, don’t encourage ladies (by staring) to dress like tramps just for your enjoyment. Keep it at home between you and your lovely wife. She’s the one God gave you to look at and cherish. Do you want your daughter to be looked at and talked about the way you may be thinking about a lady you work with. I don’t want my daughter to be looked at that way and I don’t want my son to be tempted. Thank you for making me think about my outfit a little more before I got dressed this morning.
@ tony g. great story “you’ll forget the words” LOL
@tony g…that happens on sundays (not with the swimsuits of course) when i’m leading worship i have to close my eyes 90% of the time so i can stay focused! sad to say one person is a staff member’s wife…
@ brian – i laughed out loud when he said it. sad thing was, he was right.
@ jon – heck ya. i’ve spent lots of time leading worship with my eyes closed; for various reasons.
Anne, I think the comment about your blog picture highlighted something important.
Even if a girl is dressed modestly, a guy will STILL think about it. It places an even higher importance on a girl being modest, but let’s face it, it won’t get rid of the problem. The problem is that guys these days have very little self control of their mind.
I can say this as someone who finally gave up pornography three months ago after 17 years. My wife discovered it for the 4th time (the 1st time was a few months after we got married 10 years ago). Each time her response has been more loving, forgiving, and demanding of me to change. I am truly blessed by God through her, because through her He is making me more holy. (This is truly one of God’s designs for marriage – so that we can be fully revealed to someone who will simultaneous love us and require more from us.)
This time, when giving it up, I have had a much easier time staying away than I ever have before. I attribute this primarily to being very guarded about what I let my mind focus on. It is extremely difficult for me to prevent looking at other women in that sense, but I can prevent the “replaying the images in my head” action that I had simply indulged since I was an early teenager.
Since I’ve also been more willing to talk to others about this lately, I’m very amazed at how widespread this problem is in men. If any man told me he never struggled with this stuff, I simply wouldn’t believe him.
I think women being modest is important, thank you for bringing that up, Anne. But most importantly, guys, you have to gain self-control over your mind. Looking at porn and focusing on women’s bodies only takes away your self-control. And indulging going over fantasies in your mind only leads you further into porn and viewing women as sexual objects. In order to follow God more closely, you have to consciously give up BOTH. And fight your desires to turn back.
I have to make a concerted effort to not look. I have to tell myself, ‘would I like it if someone looked at my daughters that way’, and it messes me up knowing that someone will. The problem is I still look, if nothing more than with my mind’s eye.
This made me think of how my 7 year old daughter calls them “Barbaras”. Not sure why, but it seems easier to talk about them when you call them that.
Which leads me to my biggest beef with modesty and that is how early the lack of it starts.
Modest girls clothing is hard to come by once your child gets past 6. There are a few stores and websites that now cater to moms that want to dress their girls modestly, but not many.
The other day after walking through our local mall, my daughter asked me what the word SEXY meant. hmmmm. That is a hard one to explain to a 7 year old. And if she is not supposed to say it then why is it plastered all over a certain couple of stores in the mall that I will not mention here.
We have GREAT responsibility to teach our kids about modesty these days. It’s like us against the world. And it starts with us for sure.
If one of my kids say, “Mom, I can see your Barbara’s.” I might consider changing my outfit.
Great post, Anne. Thanks for bringing it up!
as the father of 2 young girls I thank you for your post.
At some point us men need to take control of our selves.
True women should not dress in a way that causes men to stumble. But where is that line? If your profile pic caused men to stumble that is on them. You were covered. Men will stumble regardless of what women wear. Unless we want to take it to the extreme and we force women to dress in holly hobby dresses and make them wear thier hair in a bun.
Then again I have seen the film from the recent cult raids and there were an awful lot of kids there…
I cant find modest clothing for my 2 year old niece. That is too much.
As far as where the line is, I will quote Potter Stewart “I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.”
It is up to the Holy Spirit to convict us.
It is a two part equation. First women must obey the Scriptural command to dress modestly. Secondly men must allow Christ to take captive their thoughts.
Without one the other is useless. One persons disobedience does not allow another to be disobedient. Just because some men can not control their thoughts it does not give license to women to dress however they want. Just like the fact that some people will never accept the Gospel does not mean that we can stop trying or the fact that there will always be poor people give us an excuse to stop trying to eliminate poverty.
But the fact that women can not cover every inch of their body (and it would not matter if they did) does not mean that men can quit trying to take their thoughts captive.
Mike
PS After going to a Youth Celebration last night I am more convinced than ever that this is a HUGE problem. These girls (for the most part) have NO sense of modesty either in dress or action.
Wow, this post was a big hit! I wonder why?
Men and Women need to follow conviction, and God does convict. We are flawed and will never cease to struggle on both ends.
I must say though, having grown up in Europe, and traveled to indigenous areas, American men struggle partly due to culture and lack of exposure. In some parts of the world, the female breast is nothing more than a feeding bag, even seen as that by the male counterpart because of the cultural exposure to breasts.
Women need to be careful not to be motivated by a covetous spirit when addressing this issue. I think it is wisest to be most concerned with our own standing before God before one gets busy judging or blaming others for ones own sin. Think Jesus and the prostitute.
@todd- love the flight of the conchords quote! lol.
Anne
got home and checked mail after commenting on this post. Guess what was in the mail? Fredericks of Hollywood catalog. Dang it.
:)
Btw, I like the pic with the kiddos in it better!
I like boobs.
I don’t like boobies.
I think I’ll do a post tomorrow on “Thoughts on Weenies” and see how many comments I get. ;)
Oh. I wonder what your readers would think of this… http://whittakerwoman.typepad.com/whittaker_woman/2007/01/salvation_is_he.html
http://whittakerwoman.typepad.com/photos/avn_porn_convention_2007/
Our girls actually teased up their hair and got a bit sexy for it. But of’course this is different than the discussion here. Just wondering you guys thoughts on that stuff as well after perusing through your comments.
@Mud Puppy while some (the minority) of men like to imagine what they aren’t seeing, other do not. As a female who knows other females I can tell you they get attention and that’s why they do it.
Modest is hottest
amen! thank you for touching on this topic!
sweet! my brother commented here (James McLean)! Great post, great truths. Now, what do we do about Man Boobs?
I think this goes for legs and short skirts also.
Boobs don’t do anything for me. I’ve always been a leg man.
Amen – can you blame a guy for looking and get offended when he act’s like a pig when your wearing some-em skimpy? Though you’d think we’d learn to control it better.
Brian Alexander – start taking responsibility for your thoughts. Free will.
Anne – Seems to me that you’ve created the perfect storm. You’ve allowed a forum for men to read (and visualize) discussion (in detail) on breasts, sizes, descriptions of other women or their own breasts. All under the guise of “christian” modesty. Worse than Maxim or FHM articles, at least there is no hypocrisy there. Typical and ironic!
last anonymous from 5/11:
would you be a man or woman, mother, father, brother or sister?
i’m probably one of the oldest readers of this blog, went to a bible college where there was no PDA (phy.display of affection), virgin up marriage, always wears sleeves, never tanks, shorts near the knees regardless of fashion. I’m very modest but not a prude & in my glory days before gravity took over I wasn’t to hard to look at. I don’t think your comments are accurate or fair. Christians are people too, we haven’t’ brushed our passions under the carpet and ignored them and I try to even confront my problems in an open manner too. You can’t avoid the topic and if you don’t talk about it the problem will always be there & get worse. If our YOUNG WOMEN are not confronted with a “this is how you look” and “this is what it does to boys/men” then How will they ever learn???? I don’t personally know the writer of this blog & will probably never meet her this side of glory (her loss-lol), however she certainly didn’t present this in the manner of a secular magazine or in a vulgar way. Touchy topics & other things go better with humor many times.
don’t be mad.
I’m amazed (no, not really…professing Christians are not known for objectivity) at some of the negative comments.
Preach on, sister. As one who is striving to be the oldest youth worker in America, I too get in trouble promoting modesty.
For instance, a couple summers ago a beautiful teen told me, “Jack, I’m tired of guys looking at my butt.”
I sensitively told her, “Then perhaps it would be better for you not to wear sweats that have words scrawled across said butt.”
Too many girls who profess to love Christ dress like they are trolling…and then are surprise by what they “catch.”
And…all too often…it is with the endorsement and pushing of their parental units…but that’s another topic.
Amen! My husband, in good nature, teases me because pretty much any time I try on a v-neck shirt I add a disclaimer like “Of course I’ll put a tank underneath” :)
Anne,
I am fairly new to your posts although I read the one about your problem with porn. Thanks for that openness. As a pastor I struggle with what you are blogging about in this post. It is hard to have women come into the church building with low cut tops, pushed up boobs, etc. I try really hard to focus on their face lest I drop my eyes (I am 6’5″ so dropping is correct). I try to divert my eyes but man is it a struggle! I wonder how the women would feel if i stood up to preach in a thong? How would they feel if, instead of looking at their eyes, I stared at their boobs? Embarrassed? Enflamed? Offended?
Thanks for bringing this to the attention of the ladies (and us guys who struggle with it).
Regardless Christian or not, I think man-thong should be illegal. Close second place: Uber tight speedos (don’t believe me? Picture Haselhoff in Baywatch)
so I am not the crazy one?? so good to know- this topic concerning women is what I have been thinking about. Women come up for prayer with so much cleavage showing and the pastors kneel down to pray with them- and that’s all they see- it MUST be a struggle. Be in the world not of it ~ we are daughters of the KING- let’s carry ourselves like princesses!
I agree that it’s important to be mindful of what you wear, but I do have to say that my own pair have grown considerably due to weight gain and the Pill in recent years and I get caught out sometimes wearing clothes that used to be fine and are now indecent! I have a large collection of vests to wear under tops now!
Anne – thank you so much for saying what so many guys have been dying to say, but maybe no one was listening.
I like the way you write – very straight forward! I’m telling all my friends, so expect some new hits….
I agree with you, modesty is important and should be preached. But I definitely think that before approaching this issue we should check our motives. Are we loving the person? do we lead by example? what is it that bothers us? why does it bother us?
I am Colombian and I moved to the States a few years back to become an intern at a great church in Las Vegas, NV.
First let me explain; Bogota, Colombia is around 55 all year long. Vegas, NV goes all the way up to 120, I had never had to live in a place so hot.
When I first got there I got quite the interesting looks, a lot of judgement and I felt like I was doing something wrong all the time because my shorts were over 3 inches above the knee and I wore spaghetti strap shirts.
I never felt convicted about my clothes, I never thought they were indecent, I never saw men looking at me inappropriately, but I did feel judged by people in the church. If it wasn’t for the great pastors I was under and the amazing mentor God brought to me I would have left thinking christians in America are rude, judgemental and not very loving.
I started wearing jeans and t-shirts and after sweating my way through summer and working with youth and young adults I realized the best way to approach this is by living by example and letting the Holy Spirit convict and transform people.
I can’t imagine how a young unsaved girl would feel if she walks into a place and sees people judging her, it would be hard to preach love to her if we are more interested in the leght of her skirt that her relationship with Christ. I strongly believe that in due time and as we love her unconditionally she will start changing her wardrobe as the Holy Spirit convicts her of it.
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Start grabbing its butt =-.