For a season of my childhood, we received food from the government. Black and white label five-pound containers of peanut butter. And cheese. I’m sure we got more, but the snapshots of those two items are clear in my mind. At times, we had our own garden and a local farmer would be kind enough to wrap up in butcher paper whatever animal he slaughtered and we’d freeze pounds and pounds of it. Every Tuesday I had a piano lesson and it was a celebration. We had to drive in to town anyway, so after my piano lesson waited a What-A-Burger kid’s meal and Dunkin’ Donuts donut holes for the next morning.
Overall, my parents did a reasonably fine job of creating healthy children. We were rarely sick, we were extremely active (what else is there to do in west Texas but ride your bike hours on end chasing imaginary drug dealers?) I played basketball until I blew out my knee and when I’d get angry, I’d run a one-mile stretch between our house and an elementary school. I was never overweight…until I moved out on my own.
In my early twenties, I added a good thirty to forty pounds to my 5’6″ frame. Some people say I carried it well and they couldn’t notice. I look at the few pictures I have from that time and reply that I carried most of that weight in my face. If you read my old blog in those days, it was a weekly weigh-in…and over the course of nine-months, I lost it.
But then I got diagnosed with a heart condition that prevented me from getting my heart rate over 120, and exercise was out of the picture. I was slim, but I wasn’t in shape.
Long story short, someone dared me to find a new doctor and get my heart “fixed” – even though I was told it couldn’t be. If it was fixed, I’d have to ride a bike across the country with the Ride:Well Tour. Well, my unfixable heart was fixed and between 2009-2010, I logged close to 5,000 miles on a bicycle.
I worked out all the time…until…boom. The heart condition returned.
Two years went by and I’d try to exercise, to force myself to push beyond my 240+ bpm heart rate (don’t ever try that). I returned to my doctor and had another surgery on my heart in July 2012. As far as we know, it’s still fixed. Hopefully it will stay that way.
I set a goal at the beginning of the year to run 300 miles in 2013. I believe I’m at 60. I did really well in the beginning (don’t we all?) and then didn’t regularly exercise for, like, I don’t know. Six months?
My weight is creeping back up into what I consider to be my “danger zone” and I find myself demotivated instead of motivated to do something about it.
Something about be a perfectionist…
My friend Dawn is amazing. She lost over 130 pounds in a year by exercising and eating right. Size 22 to size 2. Just like that. No magic pills, no fad diets. Just hard work and self-control. Our society lacks those so much, People Magazine picked up the story because it’s so inspiring.
My texts to Dawn lately:
I feel like crap.
Why do I want to sleep all the time?
I can’t stop eating cookies.
And the big one last week…I think I’m medicating my anxiety with food.
Dawn always graciously replies to make little changes. Tim and I have. We started juicing (again for me – the first time for him). Tim is gluten-intolerant, so I’ve cut out gluten as well (and I feel amazing!) We don’t buy very much processed food…almost everything we eat is fresh (and when we can, organic and local). This week, we’re taking out all meat but healthy fish.
I tried to go for a run last week and was disappointed that after a mile of intervals, I was done. I used to be able to run four miles just six months ago!
“What do I do? What can I commit?” I texted Dawn in frustration.
Her reply:
Go easy on yourself…even if it’s simply a goal of moving everyday. You don’t need to be hardcore! Commit to taking, at least, a three-mile walk five days/week…at least you’re moving…and your body can learn to crave it.
It’s hard when I see her flipping tractor tires to accept that, but I know she’s right.
As a maximizer…as a perfectionist…as an all-or-nothing…I have to admit…
It’s okay to start small.
No, really. It’s okay.
Following Dawn’s advice and some extra encouragement from my husband, I only hit snooze once and I put on my new Reeboks with the hot pink laces and some good music and went for a 2.5 mile walk. I even ran a few times. And when I couldn’t run anymore, I stopped and continued walking.
I got home, Tim made some kale/carrot/apple juice, I made some healthy scrambled eggs (and coffee…), and I feel good.
I still feel frustrated that I’m not flipping tractor tires yet, but if I can commit to even just getting moving five times a week…which I can do even when I travel…it’s progress.
Maybe it’s not healthy eating or exercise for you. Maybe it’s a ministry goal or something you want to do in your marriage or with your kids. Maybe it’s signing up for online dating or asking your friends to set you up. Maybe it’s reaching out to start a Bible study or a girls’ night. Maybe it’s reading your Bible every day.
The time you spend in whatever you’re doing will add up over time.
Skipping a day here and there doesn’t seem like a big deal until six months have passed and you realize you haven’t knocked off one mile (but you’ve slept in an extra cumulative 72 hours during those six months…shudder).
It’s okay to start small.
Will you start with me?
Comments
10 responses to “It’s Okay to Start Small”
I can totally relate! I was always skinny but now that i do a lot of computer related work, it’s easy for me to add the lbs! I was fortunate to lose 20 lbs this summer but as always the challenge is to maintain my new eating lifestyle and exercise routine. Good advice!
Lol, “riding your bike hours on end chasing imaginary drug dealers” that’s just so right on with what we west Texas kids did with our time…lol, that’s awesome!
I’ve started back on my workouts for about four months now and I’m staying more consistent than I ever have before…my goal is to keep this going and not stop again and again as I’m known to do.
I always laugh (because if I didn’t I would cry) when I’m going through a stretch not exercising and without fail, every time, I’m driving in my truck and hit a small pothole or one of those massive speed bumps at the mall…and I experience what I’ve aptly named the, “pot-hole jiggle”. Which is in fact my weighty stomach reacting to my new found weight gain and the bumps in the road in a “shaky” manner. It’s great (please note my sarcasm) and its’ also my reoccurring sign that it’s time for me to hit the weights again and watch what I eat.
So yes, lets kick this thing in the booty and show the world what healthy looks like!
Yes, Anne, I will start small with you! Was thinking two things yesterday that at the time were totally unrelated: 1) I need to write back to Anne. 2) I really should do something crazy and run around the block (which involves a hill, btw) on accounta’ I haven’t actually run in about 16 years and I REALLY need to start somewhere. Now those two thoughts are totally related. So, I’m not going to write to you until I’ve run around the block … (deep breath) … we’ll see how long that takes. lol
Every time I attempt to start small, it quickly spirals into all-or-nothing and I usually end off worse than when I started. No idea how to tell my brain to not do that. Throw in bouts of depression, and those days I’m happy to be in clean clothes and showered make it seem totally impossible to handle any other changes, even small ones. I’m pretty sure the biggest stumbling block for me is that I don’t have anyone alongside me. I live alone, so no one to help decide what food enters, no one to go on walks with, no one to veto the late-night ice cream run, no one to yell at me for snoozing (again). Also no one to cheer me on when I meet a goal or high five me for making good choices.
this was an excellent post, Anne, thank you so much – i like the idea of accountability as something that has helped me stick to me goals [as the self-proclaimed king of procrastination, wait would procrastination even get round to having a king? maybe it’s not as bad as i suspected?] and so one that i did a while ago now was linked to wanting to get more regular in my bible reading and so i decided to blog my path to hopefully encourage others to join me but also to keep me accountable. i started with psalms and maybe a year or so later i am up to #61 which is maybe not amazing in terms of time but i am up to #61 and so that feels good – basically i read a psalm and then comment on one or two things that jump out for me. then i started working through Mark as well and started making video blogs of those and am up to around chapter 10 i think it is [about 22 videos so far] and there are a small group of people who are working through those with me which help me keep up and stay creating… [http://brettfish.wordpress.com/bible] But for me it really was taking what is a good idea and inviting other people to help me be disciplined [sounds like you have a good one] and cheer me on and encourage me when it is happening well and gently lift me up and encourage me on when things slow down a little bit – progress in community is one of the most powerful things…
so thank you for sharing and for the challenge – i think my body could use a bit of the regular walking/running schedule as well
strength in Him
love brett fish
We all started several months ago too, not realizing anyone else would be doing so. I certainly applaud you for doing it and encourage you to keep on. We didn’t do it for weight – but for general health, and because both my wife and daughter have gotten seriously allergic to MANY of the additives now in processed food. And partly to help me sleep. We’ve also stopped using tap water for drinking, cooking, or our pets, because we watched the DVD “Gasland” and were shocked at the things that end up in tap water here. (My wife often finds little blogs of oil in the tub when she takes a bath, and that’s only the bare, tiny beginning.)
I say what Dawn says, “take it easy on yourself”… and I read recently on several health gurus blogs that it is better practice to add the good foods in instead of ripping them all out. It helps your body naturally start to move in the right direction and reset those taste buds to the good, healthy stuff.
Thanks always for your transparency and seriously, TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF. I feel super alike in the way we think about some things in life and honestly, our biggest critic is ourselves. God is not like that. He is all good and loving and all about His children being cared for. (my hubs shows me this in everyday life)
Happy Tuesday, Anne!!!
yes good start Iam love bicycle and naice eting food for 300 MILES
My son Bill said to tell you his running total so far this year: yours, – 60! That is, 0! But he does “work out” a lot at work, handing equipment that sometimes weights a few thousand pounds (he uses a crane on those).
Well…..coumt me in. I need a serious accountabiltiy partner….even from afar.
I too have a heart condition. Went from being an avid runner trainng for a marathon to a mediocre walker at best…..trying to just ease back is hard when you look at where you’ve been.
Obe day at a time! Good luck!!