Always Do What Your Wife Says!

“How have you stayed so happily married for 46 years?” a performer asked the couple at the front table at the comedy club where Tim was doing improv and I was in the crowd, cheering him on.

“Always do what your wife says!” the older gentleman laughed, as did the rest of the crowd.

“What about you?” the performer turned to the wife.

“He’s right!” she said, which was followed by more laughter and a congratulatory cheer.

Every weekend Tim performs at ComedySportz, if there’s an anniversary, that dialogue is pretty much the only scripted thing – and not intentionally so. That phrase, “always do what your wife says!” has become a funny way of dealing with the tough realities of marriage.

Last week, after an exhausting and amazing time speaking for a few thousand high school students, I found myself on a mountain top (literally, not metaphorically) – excited about what God did at the summer camp and about the current project I was working on up on that mountain, but my faith was dry. I checked out fundraising efforts and we had only raised 3 percent. THREE PERCENT.

So, like any rational, emotionally exhausted woman who was discouraged and lacking faith, I canceled my flight and refunded the supporters who contributed. I deleted my post on my blog where I asked readers to support us.

I told Tim and gave him a perfectly logical explanation of why canceling my flight and not going on the trip was a good idea. I used words like “a sign from God” and lots of math. With the trip just three weeks away, it was impossible.

As we stood on a patio, I started crying. Here was our first opportunity as man and wife to serve in an area of the world we felt so led to and work with an orphanage which we know we are called to, and I canceled the trip. I was terribly confused; both trying to be practical but having faith at the same time. Tim finally said how much we needed to do this, together, and that we’d do whatever it took to raise the money we were asking for.

I talked to the airline and was able to reinstate my ticket at no cost. We’re sending support letters out this week and raising money at our church on Sunday. And even though I feel knots in my stomach by posting this ask online again, I’m doing it anyway.

Would you consider giving to our trip?

We’ve broken it down into three categories:

• Tim & I are contributing at minimum 20% of the amount.
• We are praying our church will contribute 10% of the amount.
• And we are trying to raise the rest, which is 70%.

And in a nutshell, this is what we’ll be doing:

• Partnering with Gentle Hands orphanage, we’ll be telling their story through video and photography they can use to help raise awareness and funds for the children and the orphanage.
• I’ll be helping the director of the orphanage develop strategic fundraising ideas and maybe implementing one as we are there which will help raise money for school supplies for the sixteen children.
• I’ll be using my education in family sociology to connect with the children and the community.
• We’ll also participate in any “hands on” work the orphanage may have (repairs, etc.)

If you’d like to give online, you can click here and give through our YouCaring site. If you’d like us to mail you a formal letter, we’d be happy to. Please just email me your mailing address.

Many lessons learned here: Don’t always do what your wife says; when your faith is weak, don’t give up; and when you truly rely on God to provide, it can be a scary…but exciting adventure.