This post is to help a friend of mine with a project he is doing.
Sometimes, there are people who are Christians that live like Jesus.
They radiate. Grace drips off every word they speak.
Are they perfect?
No.
But as I’ve found these rare treasures of people, I hold on tight…because rare they are.
They truly love unconditionally, forgive without hesitation, and aim for peace and faith.
—
There are also people who aren’t Christians that live like Jesus.
They’re generous. Kind. Encouraging. Patient. Loving. Joyful. Nonjudgmental. Good.
I like these people a lot because interestingly enough, they inspire me to follow the character of Christ.
—
And then, we have people who claim to be Christians, however, their actions consistently (keyword: consistently – I realize nobody is perfect!) prove otherwise.
They’re mean. Entitled. Hateful. Greedy. Hypocritical. Two-faced. Self-righteous.
These people sometimes make me cringe.
I cringe when I realize I exhibit those characteristics, because again, nobody bats a thousand. When people act the opposite of the way Jesus did, or opposite of the way he outlined in the Bible for us to live, it simply breaks my heart.
When people see those traits (and those traits tend to yell a little louder), that’s how they perceive Christians, or Christianity.
I’m going to ask you a question, and, I want you to be cautious in your answer.
**This is not a place to riff or to hate or to complain. Comments that are arrogant or jerk-faced in anyway will be deleted, and you know how infrequently I do that.
What’s one thing Christians do or say, that upsets you?
That hurts you?
That doesn’t show an accurate picture of faith and hope and love to the world?
(And maybe, instead of pointing fingers, feel free to use yourself as an example, as we all can certainly do that.)
Comments
109 responses to “What’s One Thing Christians Do That Upsets You?”
When the church fails to serve people right where they are at and not accepting them in their current condition. They do not want to get their hands dirty for fear of their “witness”. “What will so and so think?” When the church demands that the rough shod factory type not curse in their presence so that their ears do not have to hear what is really inside of them, something is wrong. I have seen unchurched people honor this but when they walk away, they are still in their sorry condition. Reforming someone’s behavior will never change the nature of a person.
.-= Bryan´s last blog ..Superficial Living and Becoming Real =-.
Good points Bryan.
But honestly, if we took your advice, people might think we’re friends of sinners. Hey, wait a minute…
The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is justified by all her children.”
(Luke 7:34-35 ESV)
Oops… Unfortunately, I’m busted on this too to be honest.
.-= Dave Wilson´s last blog ..Barf bag? Doggie bag? Sometimes I confuse the two. =-.
My sentiments exactly. I don’t understand why Christians often treat each other, and especially the unsaved, like projects that need fixing. Everyone has shortcomings and blindspots. If you think they need to change, pray for them. The work of the Holy Spirit will do far more than any person could by trying to change another person’s behavior, especially if it’s against their will. Maybe you’ll change for the better in the process, too.
Take advantage of others. Even if it is something as small as making sure that a transaction is either fair – or if it’s unfair, that it comes out in their favor. But they don’t care of someone else gets the short end of the stick on their account.
It also makes me uncomfortable when Christians go on and on about how much they hate their church. Or even The Church. No church is perfect. We all need to work to improve. But, it’s your family, you know. Venomous criticism doesn’t help anybody.
.-= Danica´s last blog ..Drink Milk =-.
Much agreed. I believe that this grieves the heart of God…when His people or His church are badmouthed. Would we talk about our own family, friends and/or children in this way?
Danica, I 100% agree with you. No church is perfect, and we all need to improve. And yes it’s our family, we’ve got to realize that and not criticize. It’s the criticizm of one Christian who thinks he/she is better than the other Christian that cause people who haven’t exprienced Christ, to turn away from our faith. I believe that all the churches that follow Christ and use the bible as our book of morals, values, and as our foundation, are Christian churches. And it makes me sad to see, for example, the non-denominational Church criticize the Catholic church. Or any denomination criticize the other. Don’t we see that it breaks us apart? And if we judge another, how much more do we judge someone who doesn’t believe in anything the bible says? I as a Christian feel judged by other Chistians, and I include myself in the list of people who have judged unfairly as well. I think we need to work hard on this.
I absolutely despise it when people consistently justify their decisions or actions with “God told me to…” I believe that the Spirit speaks today. I absolutely believe that God *does*, at times, give us very specific instructions. I have felt him move me at specific points in the past. However, when Christians use God’s favor as an excuse or motivation for their own desires, it really bothers me. Especially when those decisions or actions are in direct contradiction to God’s revealed will in the Bible.
For non-believers or new Christians, I think it’s confusing when mature Christians are always saying they hear from God for all types of things. It makes them feel like God isn’t speaking to them or they’re doing something wrong, since they aren’t hearing the same type of directions.
Anyway…I think that’s one of my biggest hurdles in my relationships with fellow Christ followers.
Lindsay,
I agree. And what happens when two people in the same situation hear from God differently? We call it using the “God-card” – saying that God is speaking and it just happens to be exactly what you want. :)
Lindsay took mine! lol…
Seriously, this one can be so bad. Because what can you say back to them: “No, He didn’t. He didn’t tell you that.” Many times Christians who say they do or don’t do something because “God told me to” are looking to justify something or make excuses so they don’t have to be truthful. It really bugs me. And it ultimately can hurt relationships.
Wow this one is so true. I hear it all the time. God told me to…and it is usually something that does NOT line up with God’s Word!
.-= Rick Apperson´s last blog ..Mission: Possible (Part 3) =-.
I’m not a big fan of myself telling others about grace and then holding grudges, personally.
.-= Josh´s last blog ..The Cost of Community =-.
Overall, I think Christians do not fully understand what happened on Christ’s cross. He did so much more than just die for our sins so believers can go to heaven. Because tradition has told us that if someone doesn’t accept Christ, he or she will go to hell, many of us are missing the absoluteness of God’s love. God loves all of us and His love will not fail. So, I guess what I see as a big stumbling point in Christianity is how Christians sell God and themselves short.
.-= patriciazell´s last blog ..#40 THE DOING OF LOVING: FORGIVENESS =-.
Criticize other Christians… wink wink.
.-= ryan guard´s last blog ..Baby Guard Yard Sale =-.
God used this criticism of other Christians in a pretty awesome way.
Acts 11:1-19
We are called to Judge other Christians – not non-Christians. That is really difficult!… Speaking truth in love to only fellow Christians.
Leigh Anne, I really appreciate that you clarified that we are to speak the truth in love. Some Christians say we are to judge other believers and they can use that as a shield to separate and divide rather than looking at “judging” as a loving call to address sin, seek to restore people who stray, and loving them to right relationship. God and his word are the only true judge, but we are called to call our family to righteous and holy living, and to help each other in that process. Gal 6:1 says we are to restore gently, but sometimes it is so easy for us speak truth and leave out the love and grace.
.-= Sherie´s last blog ..Coming Out Loud and Large =-.
Not forgiving others in the way God has forgiven them.
.-= Danny Bixby´s last blog ..Obsessive Christianity Quiz =-.
When life just becomes about one hour on a Sunday morning instead of looking towards the life Jesus in order for us to become more human in our everyday interactions.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Challenge your Creativity =-.
Compartmentalized Christianity- when you walk with Jesus at home but not at work, especially if you have power at work.
Judging ones relationship with Christ based on their political affiliation makes me crazy!
.-= Reading Rosie´s last blog ..Vintage Things – An Old Spinning Wheel =-.
our daily lives should attract others to Christ. If we look like the world we offer nothing they don’t already have.
.-= Lori Biddle´s last blog ..I want to be first =-.
I am upset by how quickly we can become just like the Pharisees. All rules and regulations instead of grace and mercy.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..John Chapter 20 =-.
it makes me sad when we think that God has turned his back on us because we don’t agree with who is in office and the decisions he/she/they is making.
instead, we could use the energy we’ve spent complaining loving people around us so that single mothers won’t feel like abortion is their only option and our homeless, orphans and widows won’t be neglected and alone.
How much fun some people have ragging on the church.
.-= Kenyon´s last blog ..A is for… =-.
I hate it when Christians tell believers and non-believers alike that if they just trusted God more/at all that they wouldn’t find themselves in the situation that they are in.
True, our faith is tested and tested often. Sometimes it is tested in ways we never imagined. But the Father is not pulling strings to see how far we can bend without breaking! It’s not some crazy cosmic video game where we are tested to prove that we were lacking.
The key here is that he ALLOWS us to encounter various trials. He doesn’t MAKE the trials. He allows us to walk through them. But he walks with us.
I would be a rich woman today if I had a dollar for everytime I have been told in the past year of personal hell that so and so is praying for me because, “God must be putting you through this so you will learn to have REAL faith/and or trust in Him”.
God isn’t putting me through anything. I survive this season by his grace and the fact that I know I am not alone here. And sometimes I survive by the slimmest of margins. But survive I will.
Try telling Job that he should have trusted God more…
Even satan said Job was upright in all of his ways.
.-= dubdynomite´s last blog ..I had grand plans =-.
1. Making God small, and therefore minimizing faith and perpetuating unbelief.
2. Throwing people away when they don’t do what you want them to (e.g. choosing to live in brokenness and discord)
3. The expression that we should hide our sin, live in secrecy, and not share truth with others because it if we are honest, authentic, and transparent it might express poorly of others or might hurt Christian’s reputation.
4. Claiming that God, and his word do not hold truth and are not enough for us. Distorting the Gospel through either incorrect information or shortchanging its truth.
Sorry, that was more than one. =)
.-= Sherie?s last blog ..Coming Out Loud and Large =-.
#3 all the way. I have watched so many lives splinter at least partly because someone close to them didn’t share the ‘bad’ parts of their story.
Anyone else think of the line from Pride & Prejudice, “I might have prevented all this
by being open with my sisters.”?
When we hide in secrecy we do not allow God to redeem our past.
.-= V. Higgins´s last blog ..Can’t leave this alone =-.
This doesn’t apply to all of course, but I have found a disturbing number of Christians that think it is loving to NEVER criticize. I mean, how am I supposed to correct myself if nobody ever tells me what I did was wrong, or not optimal, or hurt them in some way? How am I supposed to become a better Christian, better leader, better pastor without feedback?
Crazy.
.-= Shane´s last blog ..Devotional: God is Doing Something =-.
When they are hypocritical.
When they go back on their word
When they break their promises.
In short, things we all do. Things Ive done time and time again.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Life without…cats. =-.
I have a person in mind for this answer. I have to work with him on a daily basis. I also cannot call him out (or speak truth in love) because he is my boss. And I give him little or no grace (which I should). So I guess I’m calling myself out…
It really frustrates me when I choose to cross on the other side of the road instead of being the good Samaritan and choosing to help those in need.
.-= ChrisW(Churchpunk)´s last blog ..Friday Weigh In Week #18 =-.
mean-spirited gossips
Pharisaical, self-righteous, wanna-be church leaders
cliquey, cold groups in God’s house
winner-take-all church politics
.-= Linda Stoll´s last blog ..Calm. Clear. Consistent. =-.
Making the gospel more about getting into heaven than about God’s love for us.
And, yes, I’ve done that, too.
.-= AprilK´s last blog ..The eschatology of a 2nd grader =-.
I hate it when I don’t allow others the same ‘amount’ of the process as I take to deal with everything this life throws my way. I have been entrusted with grace and choose not to give it out because I’m selfish. Sometimes it’s not so fun being self-aware…
When a person continually calls back (or sees me in Church) to give her opinion regarding a prayer request, like wanting details, etc. I’ve even been in Bible Studies where writing pads are gotten out early, like as if, “Now, we can find out what’s going on with this or that person.” I feel like it’s hurtful.
.-= Carol?s last blog ..A Positive Way To Manage Your Time!!!! =-.
When scripture is taken out of context to prove a point, often with a point of view to hurt not heal.
OOOHHH That is a good one! People also take scripture out of context to give false Hope!
When they make themselves bigger in their mind than God. Like you said, no one is perfect, and I’ve definitely done this before, and it makes me cringe!
But when someone flys off the handle too quickly- is too outspoken without thinking through a situation first. When they speak without considering who is in the room. Not that it’s wrong to have a different or strong opinion, but there is a right and a wrong way to voice those opinions.
It also goes along with an old blog post of yours I was reading about tithing. My husband was on staff at a church a long time ago where the pastor monitored giving by staff members. Although my husband and I were praised for faithfully giving over 10%, another pastor was scolded and lost his position there because he wasn’t tithing. Although I agree that he was supposed to be tithing, I disagree on the action that Christians took. I feel like that is God’s position to judge him on that how He sees fit– not humans.
There are a million other situations, including judging the people who are judging others (ouch).
When Christians protest at the funerals of fallen soldiers. It breaks my heart! It is cruel to the family that is hurting. How can a Christian think this would be right? It is very sad.
Some of the things that bother me are:
1. When Christians get so focused on the emotions and phrases that they lose site of the saviour. I hear while conversations on things I find no Scriptural backing for…like soaking, fire tunnels, gold dust, etc and I wonder how that puts the focus on God and half the time I wonder if they are even talking ABOUT GOD!
2. The, if you are a Christian you will vote for candidate X in the next election!
.-= Rick Apperson´s last blog ..Mission: Possible (Part 3) =-.
one thing I have been guilty of (hopefully in the past) is turning Gods word into a rule book like the Pharisees, and then beating others over the head with it. i.e. if you don’t do THIS, then you’re guilty and you’re going to Hell.
I think that is what many percieve Christianity to be. “sound-bite” christianity- what can be condensed into a sound bite and shown on the local news.
But Grace and love are bigger than that. Yes, we are to live in such a way that points others to Christ, but if we could live perfectly, there would be no need for grace in the first place. For me, its a reaction against the very legalistic denomination that I was raised in
Does that make any sense? (
It’s already been said, but it bugs me that it’s en vogue now to criticize other believers and the Bride of Christ.
Honestly…this.
.-= Kristine McGuire´s last blog ..Just for the Joy ~ Tis but True. I am a Nerd =-.
The super happy ‘praise Jesus all the time’ Christians annoy me. Not that they’re hurting me. I’m just more cautious with what I get enthusiastic about. But also, I just have a hard time believing those people act that way when no one’s around. It always feels like they’re performing for my sake.
We should be loving the sinner and hating the sin (whether the person is a Christian or not)…but too often it turns out to be hating the sinner and hating the sin…where has the LOVE gone…
It bothers me when Christians blame people’s problems on some secret “sin” in their life. It leads to a “if you only prayed/read your bible/served in the church/taught Sunday school/joined the choir, then God wouldn’t have had to punish you” mentality.
retweet compliments about themselves on twitter. it bugs me when ANYONE does this, but especially Christians, who should be displaying humility. (and even more especially, Christians who are leaders with a large following).
.-= Brandi´s last blog ..pitiful pleasures. =-.
When they pretend to be something they are not.
The thing that bothers me the most is when people don’t seem to care about other peoples suffering.
I believe that God created us to become the answer to other people’s prayers and when we look need in the eye and turn our backs we are refusing to take care of the “least of these”.
Religious, narrow minded, judgemental “christians”
These type of people have been crowding into my life the last few years, destroying people around me (including our church staff) They are focused on rules, regulations and “the law” While the poor, the widow and the orphans suffer right outside their doors!!
by not accepting people and only choose who they want to have fellowship with. i’m not saying that it is not alright to just hang out with the people that they liked more, but some people did not even give a chance and get to know others.
It makes me uncomfortable when Christians talk about “praying sickness away.”
I know God can heal. I know it. I’ve seen it.
But I also know that God’s doesn’t always choose to answer our prayers the way we want because He has a bigger plan. And no amount of faith is going to change that.
It’s not encouraging to tell someone, “You just have to have faith, and God will heal you.” I’ve even had someone tell me, “Don’t let that sickness take hold of you! Pray it away!”
God heals. Not us. God only needs a mustardseed of faith in order to move mountains.
It takes a lot more faith to believe that God is good, even when He doesn’t do what we want.
.-= Brandy T.´s last blog ..What’s been up =-.
That kind of belief puts us in control of God. It’s a transaction, like if we come up with enough collateral (faith), God is obligated to follow through with his end of the bargain (healing). And if you don’t get the healing, you failed to hold up your end of the bargain… it’s your fault.
Last I checked, we are the collateral in the only bargain God ever made: redeeming us from Satan by paying with Jesus’s life and death. We are completely in his hands to do with as He wishes.
My daughter died a year and a half ago at age 8 1/2, after a lifelong struggle against the birth defects God allowed in her body. It has indeed taken far more faith to trust God and see Him as good watching her live and die than it ever would have to see Him heal her. Well said, Brandy.
.-= Joy´s last blog ..Apparently Size 10 Is the New Fat =-.
Joy – I just wanted to say I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. That must have been very difficult.
.-= AprilK´s last blog ..The eschatology of a 2nd grader =-.
I totally agree with Brandy T. I had a friend who told me that people who are ill and don’t get healed don’t have enough faith. I told her she had no right to say that. It hurts me too because I have a friend who is ill and she believes in Jesus and that He can heal. But He didn’t heal her. I don’t like it when people use God as a machine they can push a button and He has to do what they want. He is a holy God not just a god.
What probably disturbs us most is good Christians who do not act as if “love God” and “love your neighbors” are at all “like unto” each other.
We often talk with people around town about things we and others are trying to do to “love our neighbors.” Doing that, we meet a LOT of people who “aren’t Christians but act like it.” Their eyes light up at what we share. They smile. They say “That’s wonderful.”
But when we talk about the same things with Christians – or give them a copy of “Servolution” – we always get a polite smile, an “Oh, that’s nice” – and then silence.
I don’t know why so few Christians “get” the idea that helping others IS important. And that disturbs me.
When followers of Christ rely on and put their hope in political power to create change, they not only loose my respect but they loose the essence of what Christ was doing. Faith in action is not voting or supporting your party of choice. Faith in action is self-sacrifice for the sake of another’s well-being.
Also, as a church employee and a creative, I can’t count on my two hands the number of times the ministry that myself and my fellow creatives do has been passed over, discarded, counted as useless and even treated as anti-Christian. It just makes my heart break every time. God made color, for crying out loud! God made the flowers and the hills and the seas. He gave us the ability to feel the breeze and sunlight and the texture of dirt. Please stop demonizing human senses and those of us who worship and honor God through them.
It saddens me when people who calls themselves “Christians” walk around on the outside acting like their world is shiny and perfect and great because they go to church, when inside, they are falling apart.
Maybe you would call in un-authenticity (is that a word?)?
Oh yeah, and I really hate it when Christians cheat at Bejeweled.
Hey Anne,
Here’s what’s upsetting about yours truly:
Instead of “considering others better that myself,” I consider myself better than others.
Instead of being like God in being “slow to anger, abounding in love,” I’m slow to love, abounding in anger.
Honestly, any time I think someone else is the “chief of sinners” I’m getting it wrong, plain and simple.
And that upsets me.
Dave
.-= Dave Wilson´s last blog ..Barf bag? Doggie bag? Sometimes I confuse the two. =-.
when i turn ministry into a formula or something corporate.
When we talk about being authentic and at the same time talking about befriending people in order to get them saved. If we were really being authentic, we would say, ‘I want to be your friend so you will convert to my religion.’
When the church/Christians are willing to meet people where they are and recognize that we all have struggles and are all imperfect at getting it right, unless they feel like the things someone struggles with are legalistic (by an almost always arbitrary definition). Then, they are labelled as Pharisees (which has been turned into a bad word), stereotyped and dismissed. Or worse, they are screamed at, called unloving, and basically told that they are what’s wrong with the church (instead of sin being what’s wrong with the world).
As fresh in my mind was a tweet about how over 600 laws in the OT got reduced to 2 by Jesus I’m going to say, not following the first two commandments. If you truly love God and love your neighbour as yourself, then all is right with the world. When you don’t love people enough that’s when the trouble starts, the judging, the lack of Grace, the indifference. It’s actually not all the complicated is it? But somehow I think we’re more comfortable with the 600 odd laws.
I agree. But really loving others like God loves requires much more than some others are willing to give.
Much more patience. Much more kindness. Much more mercy. Much more suffering. Making more of others than of ourselves.
Real love is at times almost humiliating – it can’t be proud or rude or boastful.
It’s a lot easier to follow a bunch of rules. And following those rules give a sense of accomplishment and pride, which makes us feel better about ourselves, but really has nothing to do with others.
We love to revel in the filthy rags of our own righteousness like they are robes of royalty – not wanting to defile ourselves by loving those who don’t meet our standards.
We forget that love covers a multitude of sins. We love to state that ‘faith without works is dead’ while forgetting that ‘faith works by love’.
.-= dubdynomite´s last blog ..I had grand plans =-.
Yes, yes, yes. The gray area, the tension, is so much more difficult to live in than the neat little rule book where who’s in and who’s not is all spelled out. But its where Jesus lived. It’s where life is.
I’ve got a friend with the “holier than thou” attitude. I can’t even hardly worship around him anymore because he complains about the preaching or the music. There’s always something new to complain about and when I don’t agree I get, “you just don’t get it do you?” I don’t like it when Christians tear down other Christians.
My one thing: the apparent arrogance of some Christian leaders.
They act as if their success is God’s stamp of approval on them, instead of God just being faithful to his word. Their success suddenly gives them the right not to be questioned or second-guessed – incapable of making a mistake or mishandling a situation.
.-= dubdynomite´s last blog ..I had grand plans =-.
Several things: 1) when people listen to their political party more than to the teachings of Jesus. We’re supposed to let Jesus’ teachings define who we are, not let politics define who we are 2) replacing “Is there something I can do to help you”? with “I’ll pray for you” 3) when Christians (including pastors) aren’t polite to restaurant workers (sorry, I used to work in the food industry and many times Christians were the rudest).
@katy – you’re right; you can’t turn ministry into a formula: If you can’t put God in a box, you can’t put His ministry in a box either.
The thing I hate the most about myself, the thing I think is most inconsistent with Jesus’s teaching, is my tendency to make sweeping assumptions and judge others based on the little bit I can see… and then make it worse by verbalizing those assumptions and judgments to others. It’s ugly and unloving and about as opposite of the way Jesus saw and treated people as you can get. I pray that God will change my heart so that I can see…and LOVE… people the way He does.
.-= Joy´s last blog ..Apparently Size 10 Is the New Fat =-.
forgetting that we are supposed to be “followers of Christ” and behave accordingly… remember kindness, love…be willing to take a moral inventory before we judge others and all that …
.-= Jenny´s last blog ..Friday Favorites: Round 4 =-.
I really get upset with two things we unknowingly do and say. I get upset when we say I won them to Christ or how many people have you won to Christ for me this saying makes me think of a competition or project and not actual human beings. Sometimes I think we make things so complex or mechanical that we loose sight of who God is with these actions we suck the love or passion out of being God’s kid. I am not saying that life as God’s kid isn’t easy or always fun but at the same time we need to learn to have fun with God and have a passion because life is not always an equation.
I didn’t read any other comments yet. I wanted to just answer this question. First, thanks for asking! What bothers me the absolute most about SOME Christians is their “rules”. If I’m not what they think I should be, I’m excluded. It’s that simple. I’ve had Christians ask me what rules I’m talking about…and once I break it down…THEY start imposing THEIR rules. I would put myself in your second category….someone who tries to live like Christ, but I wouldn’t call myself a Christian. Not any more. Because I don’t believe in exclusion based on my opinions of what you should or shouldn’t do to receive God’s love, redemption, and eternal life. Ever since I’ve focused on God’s will for me, and not you, I’ve experienced an undeniable relationship with God. Every now and then though, I’m reminded of where I came from in some circles of Christianity (judgment and exclusion), and although not pleasant, it reminds me of the freedom I now have.
.-= Tina´s last blog ..BOUNCE BACK FROM A LONG RUN =-.
It really bothers me when fellow christians attack non-believers…disagree, that’s fine (and if we are christians our worldview shouldn’t agree completly with those who are not- we are called to a higher standard) but
do so with LOVE and RESPECT! “f it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Rom 12:8 Or what about 1 Peter 3:15 “Put in your hearts set Christ apart as holy as Lord. Always be ready to give a logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully.”
Spending more on coffee a month than helping the poor and the orphan….not tithing or giving in general. that really really really irritates me
Allowing politics to become more important than loving people well, even if we disagree with them.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..If You Don’t Have Something Good to Say =-.
It bugs me when Christians take what works at their church and assume that that is what every church should be doing, and then condemn the churches that do things differently. I know I’m guilty of that, but I sure hope I’m getting better about it…
Sure there are Biblical guidelines, like sacraments. But the use of certain tools to spread the gospel could be perfect for one church, but not for another. And that doesn’t mean that either church is wrong.
Being two faced and not really saying what they mean.
Everyone is guilty of it at some point in their life. As I grow in love & realise what true grace is, I try to say what I mean. It doesn’t always come out the right way but I’m not perfect and I’ll keep trying to make what I say come out right.
So often we think one thing yet say another and the worst thing is when we say one thing to one person & then say something completely different to the next person. Not cool.
I really hate when I and others have categories of sins that are worse than others . . . coincidentally, the “really bad” sins are usually not ones that I happen to be struggling with.
This has been especially exposed as I’ve been serving in a ministry to women who work in the sex industry. I have been dismayed when people have talked about these dear women as though they’re “too bad” to minister to, or somehow too lost for God to reach.
But then I realize that I have my own list of people who I don’t want to love . . .
I speak as an American. I feel very fortunate and blessed to live in this country, however, I get upset when Christians equate their patriotism to their faith. The Bible says that “God so loved the world that he gave..” Not that God just loved America. He loves all mankind, and so should we.
I hate it when i set my standard, my line and place it on others :(
When they are self righteous. I grew up on a bubble were I believed unles you lived my way of Christianity you lived a life of sin. It took me years falling in love with god’s kids and separate from my old church to realize how wrong I was
PROOF TEXTING!
Condemning people for various things (life-style choices, tattoos, piercing, etc.), yet sitting there eating a cheese-burger! If they’re going to pick and choose things from the Bible to condemn people, perhaps they should start following every law for themselves, or recognize that we’re saved by grace?
politics and double standards…i’ve been hurt many times by those 2 things in the church.
lately, what’s been concerning me even more and has, therefore, made me look at myself is self-centeredness. we too often think that christianity is just for us, that JESUS is just for us christians. but we need to realize (myself included) that it’s not all about us. there’s a world of people who need GOD. we need to share him with those outside the church. we need to serve those outside the walls of our churches.
.-= hope hammond´s last blog ..new beginnings =-.
I guess I should preface by saying, I didn’t grow up in a religious household. However, when I was about 6, my cousin–who was raised in a church-going atmosphere–asked me: “Do you go to church?” When I responded with a “no” she looked me straight in the face, with no remorse, and said “Well then… you’re going to hell.”
I ran out of the room crying.
From that point on, I came by a lot of Christians that only preached a message of condemnation. Because of that, I really harbored a pretty deep hatred for Christians. Why did they just want everyone to know they’re going to hell? It wasn’t a compelling lifestyle at all. Not to mention, the church often doesn’t seem to be willing to apologize for some of the rotten things we do in Christ’s name.
It took Jesus a long time to break those walls down that the church had built up within me. But eventually–thank God–He got through and showed me that He IS love, and grace, and joy. He was compelling, not condemning. He didn’t simply want me to not be sent to hell…He wants to show me TRUE life–and THAT is so a much more beautiful gospel than the gospel of condemnation.
I appreciate how Jesus can work in a person’s life, despite how humans ruin it.
I just wish that the church would focus less on hellfire and brimstone. Yes, Hell is real… but how often did Jesus preach on that, in comparison to how often He preached on God’s love, His Kingdom, and the life He offers? When put side by side, which message is more compelling?
something that has hurt me is when some think bc you are a christian, you should conform to their ways..clothing. looks, likes…if in fact Christ wants me to change, i am thinking that the HS will do his work in me, usually those people don’t know me very well, or i think they would applaud HIM at far i have come…it tends to mess with the head in the sense, that you begin to question yourself. i hope i never do that to anyone
.-= darla´s last blog ..But I want! Psalm 23:1 =-.
The one thing that upsets me the most that is done within Christian leadership circles is the way pastors and leaders turn the other way and condone evil sinful behavior of other pastors. Not only that, but they cover the other pastor’s tracks and then continue to work with these pastors. All the while the pastors are telling their sheep how rebellious and wrong they are – that they need to “repent” and do what God has told them to do. They then spread negativity and hate about the people they have hurt which turns the church against them. Then they continue to preach from the pulpit in all of the “righteousness.” This happened to me. I left organized religion and will never go back. I looked true evil in the face where I least expected it to be. There is a lot of compromise going on in the church.
.-= April Alexander´s last blog ..Can "Normal" Be Okay? =-.
The same thing happened to me recently, too. Hitting the brick wall of that boys’ club when they closed ranks almost knocked me senseless spiritually, and I don’t know that I will ever belong to a formal church again. I wish I had some profound encouragement, but please know that hearing someone else’s voice almost the exact thing I have experienced makes me feel less alone. Thanks. Hang in there. One thing they cannot do is make that ugliness the truth.
April and Annie…My heart goes out to you. I have been through this, and know how deeply it hurts, and how tough it is to walk through. I wish I could sit down with you to hear your heart and pain and to encourage you on. Unfortunately you are not alone. There are many who have had similar experiences, but man can not destroy what God has created. The Church is still so important, and we need to find ways to connect with others. I am so glad you at least connect on blogs like this, and I pray that you are connecting intimately with God. I can testify that there is a way to heal, and there is hope. Although I hated what I went through, it is my story and God has used it for amazing God. I am now working to spread that hope to others because there are to many that are disillusioned, lost, lonely, and hurt. Thank you for your honesty about your story.
.-= Sherie´s last blog ..Coming Out Loud and Large =-.
that was supposed to read “used it for amazing good.”
.-= Sherie´s last blog ..Coming Out Loud and Large =-.
I can’t come up with anything. I can’t look at each individual persons’ sin and hold it against the group as a whole . . . isn’t that generalizing? Like, saying all persons of this certain ethnic group eat ice cream and pickles or all persons of this gender are always late etc.
We’re all on a journey and process of grace and change — changing to become more and more like Jesus. Jesus keeps ‘raising the bar’ so to speak with each of us on an individual basis.
As a Christian, there are a few that I don’t want to associate with. They are the ones that will tell others in a bold, boastful manner that if they aren’t Christians, they aren’t going to Heaven plain and simple. Then proceed to research and tear down these other religions. Even amongst Christians, for example Mormons get a bad wrap, a lot of the time.
To me, we are ALL God’s children. I also believe that with God ALL things are possible. That includes that maybe God can choose to present Himself to others in a different manner. Or maybe I just have a hard time with truly good people who are a different religion, that try very hard to lead a good life and follow the rules of their religion. One that may be passed down among many generations. And some will say that they are going to Hell. That just hurts me so much.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Consulting a wise source about the future. Rowing my little boat down "denial". And who gave permission for my babies to grow up? =-.
I used to be one of those kinds of Christians.
But then I was reminded of Christ’s command. “A new command I give you,” he said. “Love each other.” And then he said, “Everyone will know that you are my followers because of your love for each other.”
If God loved everyone enough to die for us, shouldn’t it stand to reason that, if I’m following Jesus, I should love to the extent that I’d be willing to put my life on the line for my fellow human?
I’m bothered by Christians who are willing to yell at people, judge them for their sinful actions, and yet aren’t willing to take the time to learn about the people they’re yelling at.
Why does this bother me so much? Because there are so many people on whom I could’ve loved like Jesus would have, but I instead chose to yell at them through a megaphone that they needed to repent.
I think I was the one who needed to repent.
.-= Nate´s last blog ..Everything I need. . . =-.
2 things that bug me most:
Serial Gossiping (so destructive!)
Those that want to put their own yokes on others
What I also can’t seem to get my mind wrapped around is how we (including myself at times) tend to live as Christians only when it is convenient for us.
.-= Matt´s last blog ..A Whole Week Off! =-.
Heather,can I tell you a personal story that might encourage your believe that God does love people from ALL churches, including Mormons? I’ll keep it as short as I can, but also apologize in advance for its length.
First, I do understand Mormons well. My father’s family are all Mormon – and there are lots of them. And I’d met people whose judgment I trusted who told me they knew Mormons who definitely were Christians.
My story can be torn apart easily in all kinds of logical ways. I know that. But this is what happened:
Soon after we moved to Wyoming I got a jury duty notice for a double-murder trial, involving a young man who’d allegedly pushed his young wife and 5-year-old son off a 100+ foot cliff. (All were Mormons.) I didn’t think I could afford the time off work, so I had a valid excuse all prepared (that I’d formed a “guilty” opinion when I heard of the case). But the defense attorney told me “I’m sorry, but we’ve used all our peremptory challenges. You’re going to be on the jury.” He then questioned me to be sure I could decide fairly. And I knew I could.
When I got home, my wife told me an 80+ year old friend from Florida had called. Ben was amazing. He lived very close to God, prayed several hours a day, “listened” to God, and would often start conversations by telling us what WE’D done in the last week!
This time he told Yvonne God had wanted me on the jury to make sure justice was done.
I wondered about that. I’m a quiet person; only one other person on the jury was quieter. How could I influence eleven other people and two alternates?
After two weeks, we got the case. By then, most of us thought he was guilty, but we had to decide “beyond a reasonable doubt.” We weren’t there yet. And almost all the evidence was circumstantial.
We were nearly ready to be taken to a motel for the first night. I was glancing over the crime-scene photos, and noticed two Gatorade bottles in the front of his open-topped Jeep. One was full; the other only had a couple inches drunk from it. Yet he’d told us on the witness stand that it had been a hot day; that his family had started out intending to four-wheel to the bottom of upper Flaming Gorge, picnic, and swim in the river, but after several hours they got lost and stopped on a point, where the “accident” happened.
I held up the photo book and asked, “if the three of them were out there several hours on such a hot day, shouldn’t they have drunk more than this?” That, of all things, brought the jury “alive.” They all got involved: “Yeah! And look! He said they were going to picnic and swim. But there are no towels!” “And no swim suits!” “And no picnic lunch!” “And no firewood!” “And no changes of clothes!” Then, all around the jury room, you could hear “He lied to us!” He lied to us!”
We found him guilty. Later, the State Supreme Court upheld us.
At home, afterwards, a simple question formed in my mind: “Yes, Liana and her son were Mormon. But why would God have cared so much about getting justice for the both of them – unless they were right there before him, in His presence?”
Sure, lots of professors could have a field day with that reasoning. But I’d been there. I’d seen her picture, and her son’s. At festive events. At the wedding. At her graduation. And lying battered on the rocks below the cliff.
And I could accept it.
“If you were really putting God first, you wouldn’t have gotten in this situation” That has been a phrase that I have heard from friends, classmates (I go to a private baptist college), a former pastor of mine, and my stepmother. This was what i heard when i encountered the most frightening time of my life over a year ago. I badly needed to go into treatment for an eating disorder in a place that wasn’t my home and was away from really anyone I knew. And I was able to love people there and minister to them, as well as get the medical and psychological attention I needed. And in a little over a week i am graduating, because I’m still here, alive and well enough to do so. (and said stepmother isn’t coming to that either, but i am trying so hard to let God replace my anger with love)
The point is, I was in that situation. And although I was 20 years old, I felt like I was 15 again and in a living situation that i wouldn’t ever wish upon any other high school girl. And at 15, i didn’t know how else to cope, my trust in Christ wasn’t strong enough to overcome what I was going through, so i trusted my own resources and it turned out poorly. Lesson learned. At 17 this sin had grown from a little campfire that was keeping me warm to a house fire that i was just barely able to keep contained, but i t was still ruining so many aspects of my life. At 20, this sin in my life had grown into a forest fire, and not only was it slowing down my heart, wreaking havoc on my bones, eating my muscles and destroying my kidneys, It was burning up what was left of my relationship with God. But that was the situation I was in, and thank goodness some of my friends remained, but some of the ‘Godly’ people I thought I could rely on most only said “If you were really putting God first, you wouldn’t have gotten in this situation.”
I hate this, I was hurt, I lost faith in some of those I needed desperately to be able to trust, It dimmed the little hope I had left, and left me feeling so lonely and empty the day I entered treatment, afraid that the love and support I needed when i re-emerged later on wouldn’t be there. God was enough. But I remain more untrusting of my brothers and sisters than I wish I were.
Tracy, I greatly appreciate the honesty in your story. It is all too often the sad story of the church that they continue to shoot their wounded. The advice that was given to you was as far from the character of God as I have ever heard. Sometimes well-meaning family/friends want to help but unfortunately are not a source of encouragement because of the long distance relationship with God in their own lives. If people have let you down, never confuse that with God letting you down. Seek God on your own terms and ask that God bring someone into your life whom you can trust as a source of encouragement. God bless.
.-= Bryan´s last blog ..An Atheist, a Theologian and a Buffoon =-.
Bryan,
Thank you so much. I am learning to seek God on my own terms, finally, and i’m glad that I finally allowed myself to do so. And you are right, it is apparent that God did not let me down. I did make it through and come out a stronger individual after that experience.
Tracy,
I really feel for you. I’m commenting because you seem to be referring to your eating disorder as “sin.” I’ve had problems in this area, though your issues sound life-threatening. I prefer to think of disordered eating as an improper way of coping. I don’t believe that God condemns my disordered eating as sin, but He does want me to learn new, healthy ways of coping and leaning on Him. I don’t know if this helps you in any way, but I felt from what you wrote that maybe you were condemning yourself for having this problem. God doesn’t condemn you, He loves you and created you for a purpose. My prayers are with you.
Jennifer,
Thank you so much for that reminder. I’ve heard other’s refer to my eating disorder so much as a sin, and I’ve felt so guilty that i never thought to call it anything else. Maybe it would stop being such a massive roadblock or barrier every time i make a mistake if it was just a mistake rather than this giant sin that people say may forever plague my life. I could use a little love today. Thanks.
Forgetting what our Savior said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. *By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another*” ~ John 13:34-35
I’ve seen this in so many ways. The one the breaks my heart the most is concerning post-abortive mothers. Sanctity of Life Sunday makes my heart ache if all they focus on is the life of the child. As much as that is wrong, even so the mother has to live the rest of her life attempting to process the situation and not having a place to grieve her child.
There are so very many places that we all forget this, myself included, but if we continually keep trying to follow this *one* thing, I honestly believe we can completely change the world.
.-= V. Higgins´s last blog ..Can’t leave this alone =-.
Wow. You went there ;) I sometimes have a hard time because I see people saying that if someone isn’t a Christian, you shouldn’t date them. A lot of people in the church say that and I understand, don’t be unequally yoked. But sometimes Christians focus on the label of Christian too much…if that makes sense. I have dated “Christians” that don’t treat me as I think a man of God should and have also dated a great guy who acts Christlike but won’t put the label on himself because he’s been hurt in the past. It’s a tough thing and I understand what’s at the heart of what Christians say when they tell you not to date nonChristians, it’s just hard sometimes I think to go by labels.
.-= Jacklyn´s last blog ..So Proud of My City =-.
gossip, gossip, gossip.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Bob =-.