When I turned twenty, I was your typical former pastor’s kid living in rebellion – alcohol, clubs, bands, and a peer group nobody’s parents would approve of. Two months before my twentieth birthday, I had just ended a long term relationship – a month before we were supposed to get married.
It was rough. I remember returning home the night of my twentieth birthday after having friends visiting throughout the week. My apartment door was wide open and nobody was inside. Littered on the floor were liquor bottles and pizza boxes. It took me three trips to the shared dumpster to empty out all the trash.
Exhausted, I collapsed in my bed and cried myself to sleep.
I was alone.
I was twenty.
And I needed to grow up.
As I drifted off, I wondered what the week leading up to my thirtieth birthday would look like. Would I be married? Would I still be living in Dallas and working at an upscale internet company with an incredible salary?
Would my stupid friends be more thoughtful and not trash my apartment on my birthday?
Maybe I would take a trip to somewhere romantic when I turned thirty – like Paris or Rome or Madrid.
An exotic trip to ring in my thirties…Now that sounded like a good plan.
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Ten years later, here I am. I turn thirty next Friday, and the last decade has been filled with a million lifetimes. I sobered up. Moved around and now live in Nashville. I got married. Lost and found my faith a few times. Became a self-employed author with state-provided health care and no stock options. I traveled to Uganda. Then the Dominican. Then India.
And because of the beautiful people I’ve met along the way, I’ve made a promise to tell the stories of people living with nothing to people living with everything.
These two contrasting worlds need to collide. Because oftentimes, we confuse what having nothing and having everything look like.
Ten years later, here I am. And I’m taking a trip for my thirtieth birthday.
But instead of some idyllic European destination, I’m headed to Haiti.
Following the recent earthquake, I felt numb.? It had been a long time since I had been angry at God, and do I dare even say doubt his sovereignty, but that’s where my heart teetered for the first week.
It seemed hopeless.
Sometimes, it still seems hopeless.
A few weeks ago, I was invited to help out in Haiti with an organization called Adventures in Missions. They’ve been on the island of Hispaniola for years and have been working through local churches there long before the earthquake.
Without a doubt, I knew I needed to go. Every obstacle in my way divinely disappeared, and I have to believe God’s been preparing me for this for a long time.
I said yes. And so I’ll be in Haiti until February 17th – just two days before my thirtieth birthday.
I realize it’s an honor to be able to serve in such a unique way, but there are bits and pieces of me that want nothing more than to stay home.
Quite honestly, I’m terrified.
If I think about it too long, or watch too much CNN, it just paralyzes me.
However, I’ve vowed that when fear, or comfort, or some other little obstacle contrary to the Kingdom pops in my head the correct response is to do the exact opposite.
Fear says, ?Haiti is dangerous. You have to take those malaria pills that make your stomach hurt and what if there?s another earthquake while you?re there? What if you get shot at? ? and Comfort says, ?You won?t have your choice of firm or soft pillows and it’s gonna smell like the rotting stench of death. You will see dead bodies. And you’ve never seen a real dead body before.?
The people of Haiti didn?t plan to have their lives destroyed a few weeks ago.
This is a whole new part of their story.
As I spoke to my friend a couple of days ago when we were working on some of the details of the trip, we realized Haiti is never going to be restored.
Haiti is going to be reborn.
It has to be.
And we all get to be a part of that story ? whether it?s by donating money or supplies or by getting on a plane at some point to help out using whatever skills you have.
I?m grateful that it?s not only Haiti?s story, and it?s not only yours and mine, either.
I have to believe that this is a story of a sovereign God who has a plan and purpose beyond anything we can imagine. And I?m grateful his breath is woven through each and every letter of each and every word of this new story as it is being written.
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(To read all Anne’s posts from Haiti, click here. You can also follow her on Twitter for updates from on the ground. The whole team can be found here on Facebook.)
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Comments
54 responses to “A Decade and an Earthquake Later”
God bless you on your journey to Haiti and on your birthday. I know that the angels danced on the day you were born.
Blessings on your journey… what an amazing gift you are sharing with the Haitian community for your 30th birthday. God bless
I love your heart, Anne, and I loved how you ended this. If there’s anyone that can turn a bad situation around and make it better, it’s God.
Anne, I couldn’t be more stoked for you because I know your heart for stories and I know your heart for truth. I’m praying for you, girl.
.-= Elora?s last blog ..verge =-.
Sounds like the past 10 years have been a great journey. May He fill you with peace and bless yours and so many others efforts in serving the people of Haiti. It would be wonderful to see little glimpses of heaven revealed in that land as enormous needs are met and a society is rebuilt.
.-= almost an M?s last blog ..Really? =-.
Wow talk about perspective. I think it’s awesome that you are reflecting on the journey of life as you take a journey to Haiti to help there. Haven a blessed time!
Your honesty and bravery continue to inspire me to be a better person. I am praying for you on this journey and as you embrace your 30’s!! There will be good times ahead!
Just saw from the Livesays blog that Anderson Cooper is back in Haiti. He couldn’t stay away. I know he’s been to war torn/dangerous areas before. However, I have a feeling that once you conquer this trip, and your feet are back on TN soil, you’ll be hankerin to go back to Haiti too. I got a feelin…
You can do this thing girl. Praying God shows up and shows off just for you!
Great post Anne. I’m so excited to follow along with you on this trip and see how God uses you to open our eyes.
Like you, I believe that this is just the beginning of something amazing God is going to do in this impoverished country. It’s amazing how God brings beauty from the ashes.
Praying for you girl…
.-= Brad Ruggles?s last blog ..I Can Has Cameraz? =-.
You, my dear, are a beautiful work in progress. May God continue to bless you and others through you, as you trust in Him.
Anne,
You are defintely in our prayers as you make this journey. Fear and comfort tend to take the joy and meaning out of the adventure of joining God’s Grand Narrative. Joining in the suffering and pain is what being the body of Christ, broken and poured out, is about.
Grace and Peace,
The Watsons
Amen, sister. Looking forward to following your trip and journey to Haiti. Praying you guys will be the hands and feet of Jesus to those hurting people…
I wondered the same thing and ended up in Beijing, China on a mission trip when I turned 30…I will be celebrating my 31st birthday in China also next month since God called me back here for an extended stay. It is amazing the journey He takes us on and often unexpected.
Blessings on you~
.-= Katherine?s last blog ..Go East, Young Woman? =-.
What a contrast between how you spent your 20th birthday and how you’ll spend this one! Praying for you as you prepare for your journey and I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
.-= Melissa?s last blog ..Whisper =-.
I’m praying for you, as you go, that you will be able to leave your fears behind. And grateful for you, as you return, that you’ll be bringing the story of Haiti with you.
And…I know I’m a missionary and everything, but, YOUR heart for humanity inspires me. So, thank you.
.-= Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary?s last blog ..The best gift… Ever. =-.
I’m always fascinated with God’s timing, His plans. His ways surely aren’t ours, are they …
He has a mission for you. Thank you for obeying Him – and for encouraging us to listen up to His voice, too.
God knows we need a wake-up call …
Anne,
Don’t you love it when God wrecks the plans you’ve made for you life and in their places hands you something infinataly more beautiful? He didn’t just save you “from” your addictions, He saved you “for” Haiti. So you could bring hope to His precious people. Beautiful.
Keep us updated!
Anne…
Awesome! What a privilege to serve God in that capacity. You will bless, and be blessed. I think it is easy to say that we all look forward to hearing about your journey.
On that note, you mentioned on Twitter that your Haiti blogs don’t get hit much. That is a bummer…but remember…who ISN’T talking about Haiti now? Everyone is. Not saying it is right or wrong to ignore a blog on it…but we are inundated by it from all angels. You know what we are not inundated with? People who talk about the crazy church stuff. In fact, there are FEW who do and the fact that you get so many hits just tells you what people are hungry for. We are not moved by what we know, but what we feel. Easy to have a myriad of feelings about church. More difficult to have the same feelings for a situation you feel so far removed from, and helpless to. Not a good excuse AT ALL. I am reminded that I need to be active and can be just as effective in helping in efforts over here, as I could be if I were over there. I will get on that!
All that to say, be encouraged…people do care about Haiti!
Take care,
a: