It never ceases to amaze me when people say with shock:
“A woman could never, EVER be addicted to porn.? Never!”
For those of you who think that, let me tell you something.
I was.
And your theory is wrong.
Here’s a bit of my story.
It never ceases to amaze me when people say with shock:
For those of you who think that, let me tell you something.
I was.
And your theory is wrong.
Here’s a bit of my story.
Comments
54 responses to “Can Girls be Porn Addicts Too?”
Of course they can. I attended a Christian college where the problem of viewing porn sites was bigger in the girls dorm than the guys dorm.
Yeah, It’s a problem and it’s real. And it’s real hard to come out of it. I think a big difference may be in the why issue. From those I’ve talked to, it seems men are more likely to approach it from a physical standpoint where women approach it from an emotional stance. Of course, both aspects (and many others) play into both male and female addiction, but generally speaking…..
It doesn’t surprise me that women can be addicted to porn at all.
Yep, it’s true and I was as well from middle school until I’m not sure when. I really need to make sure that I don’t look twice and don’t put myself in places where I might be tempted.
When I wrote an article for CTI about cybersex my eyes were opened: I had heard that women were becoming increasingly influenced by porn, but hadn’t really thought about it. It was something to think about. Here’s a quote:
? According to Dr. Mark Laaser, director of the Christian Alliance for Sexual Recovery, “Historically we would have said women are addicted to romance novels or women are addicted to chat rooms,” but that?s changing. The number of women addicted to pornography and other “more behavioral ways of acting out” are dramatically rising. Our culture and what we spend our time thinking about are literally changing the way our brains are wired. As a result “women are getting rewired to be more visual and aggressive” and they?re “acting out in direct ways.” ?
See more here, if you’re interested:
Cyber-Sexuality: Maintaining Real Purity in a Virtual World
http://tatumweb.com/blog/2007/08/29/cybersexuality/
Rich
Good for you, Crystal!
This is great! How courageous of you and Crystal to tackle a topic like this!!! I’m stoked!
Anne,
I’m just glad you speak out about it, as well as Crystal. I don’t know if you’ve seen SettingCaptivesFree.Com before, but their Pure Freedom course is awesome – I’ve done it myself. I’ve recommended it to many in counseling.
Honestly, I (as a male) definitely know it’s true about women, but struggle to understand the nature of the addiction – someone commented earlier that men probably have a more physical connection, and women an emotional one … the thing is, from my “male” point of view, the only emotion I’d see a woman feeling is one of abuse, possibly … then again maybe power. From a male perspective, it totally distorts how women are, and how most women feel … then again, maybe I don’t know most women. Seems like it would give women a negative emotional state to me?
Fred F. McKinnon
Dear Fred F. McKinnon,
It is emotional for women, but in my case it stemmed from a desire to be desired. A need to be wanted and ‘loved’. It was of course a perverted ‘love’, an ugly version that could end only in self loathing and sorrow. But while it’s going on it can for a very short time fill the emptiness that can only be honestly and entirely filled by the love of the Lord.
It becomes an addition because it masks the pain for a brief time only, and you have to go back to get your ‘sedative’.
I totally resonate with your comment. And it’s so hard to come out of it, if not impossible.
Cindy,
That make sense. (Dear Fred F. McKinnon, ooh that sounds so formal .. I use TextExapnder to fill in those fields w/ a click – need to change that!) …
I am so grateful that you are discussing this … and pray that God uses it to delivery tons of folks, both male and female!
Fred
I know that porn addiction for me was about intimacy – going after a fraudulent kind of intimacy, not all that unlike CindyK’s need to be desired. But it was made possible for me by the fact that I’m a visually aroused person. That’s an accepted generality about guys.
But I don’t think of girls in general being turned on primarily by what they see. So, that’s what surprises me about female porn addiction: I wouldn’t expect such a primarily visual and emotionless medium to captivate (capture) a female mind. Can a female explain that?
I think there is a small difference in the addiction between men and women. For men it almost seems obvious that it is something you could be addicted to. Especially outside of Christian groups, it’s actually quite normal to look at porn. For women though it’s a major no-no, and it somehow becomes more messed up becasue they aren’t “supposed” to look at porn.
My other thought is that the problem is more wide spread than I think we could ever imagine. I lead a men’s group at Drake U in Des Moines and at least 3/4 of the men in the group either currently struggle with it or have in the past. It is an issue that NEEDS to be spoken to.
Jeremy Anderberg
wannabetheologian.wordpress.com
twitter.com/jeremyanderberg
Honestly, I think part of the problem in women getting help is because it is understood that it is “natural” for a man to want to look at porn–due to the visual stimulation factor. Therefore, it is not as “peculiar” for a man to express that he has had a problem with it and needs help.
However, since it is not something that is understood to be attractive to women, those who are addicted probably have a harder time admitting that there is a problem because they have a harder time expressing that they enjoy it…simply because they “aren’t supposed to.”
To be blunt, some girls are more…visually stimulated than others.
It definitely had an emotional side to it for me (parents, PLEASE tell your girls they are beautiful growing up or they WILL look elsewhere)…
But it would be a lie for me to say there wasn’t a physical desire as well.
I had both visual stimulation and once I was hooked, I had a constant physical desire. The wording of anything sexual turned me on.I longed for that touch because it made me feel special, wanted, and needed. Several guys seemed to fill that void over the past 20 to 25 years. I am so thankful to now be married to a man who understands and has been there on the guy side of it……………….thankful to be out of that main stream…………..
Some parents just need parenting license, my old-timer just planted and left. I resent him. I know I need to forgive him.
I have to admit this comes as a total shock to me.
But it’s great that you are hitting this head-on. If it’s a problem then it needs to be addressed. Anne, thanks for giving me something else to worry about now with my 10 year old daughter. :) Right now I’m trying to convince her she doesn’t need to be Hanna Montanna. Ha!
Tom
I agree with Anne on this one. At the height of my addiction it definitely became almost 100% physical but it began innocently as emotional. A desire to fill a void of intimacy that I wasn’t getting from my parents or daily relationships.
that hits the nail on the head for me!
This is a very interesting insight, and while I understand that it is possible, it is something that I’ve never really thought about. I’m glad to see it being brought into the light! Keep up the great work…
I am also not surprised to see an apparent spam comment on here from what looks to be a porn site (unless Anne deletes it). Wow… spammers never cease to amaze me….
Anne and Crystal,
Please let me know if there is anything that BibleDude.net can do for you in getting the word out. I have planned to start delivering some content geared towrds biblical womanhood (and manhood too) that I would love to involve you in. Let me know if you are interested in doing something there. Thanks!
Dan
I am so glad to see courageous people taking on these issues proactively. I think it is so easy to look at a pastor or a church leader and say, “How sad, they were addicted to porn” or “how sad that they had an affair”. But why are we not helping people before they go there? Why is the church silent, until it is too late? I know that this will not be an easy mission to pursue, so I will be praying for your friend. I waited to talk about these issues until it was too late, and lost my ministry, my church and almost my marriage. Way to go!
I’m a guy, a pastor, and I used to be addicted to porn. You can read my story at http://www.presencevoicetouch.com, under “how experience Gods touch.” Or email me (bhuebert@mac.com) and I’ll send the story to you personally.
God bless! He lives!
In writing the online resource, The Pornography Effect — http://www.thepornographyeffect.wordpress.com — one of the conclusions I came to which I was not hearing expressed elsewhere is that text pornography is every bit as dangerous as photographic image pornography, if not more so.
Since it is women who read more fiction generally, I fell into the stereotype that it was this type of pornography that would be more attractive to women.
The women I talked to in person assured me that I was dead wrong!
As to Tom’s comment re. a 10-yr-old daughter; the trend currently is towards something that I term “peer pornography;” where youth basically photograph themselves in a pornographic context. (And if this is the first place you’re reading this, you’ve been living in a cave!) There would appear to be no distinction online between the number of males vs. females participating in such activity, and then viewing such pictures of their friends, both male and female.
The end result is that we have a whole generation growing up who have lost one of the things that distinguishes us from the animals: The ability to blush. A whole generation is emerging without a sense of shame.
It may be 20 more years before we see what the effect of that is on a larger society.
I speak to moms about how to help their sons choose purity instead of pornography. But I always let them know that their daughters can get caught up in porn too. Recent statistics say that even if women aren’t looking at porn, they are more accepting of guys looking at porn.
These comments just jumped out at me:
CindyK: “in my case it stemmed from a desire to be desired. A need to be wanted and ?loved?.”
Anne Jackson: “It definitely had an emotional side to it for me (parents, PLEASE tell your girls they are beautiful growing up or they WILL look elsewhere)?”
Crystal Renaud: “it began innocently as emotional. A desire to fill a void of intimacy that I wasn?t getting from my parents or daily relationships.”
I’m 16 and I’ve never gotten the acceptance, appreciation, or affection that I need… I”ve tried to make myself feel better with porn, or cybering, or phonesex… for over 2 years I’ve been like that, and I’m like soooo used to it by now that I don’t want to stop.
The statistics I’ve read say that ~70% of men and ~30% of women are using/abusing porn. This is across the board, and doesn’t change when looking at Christian or non-Christian groups. The prevailing thought among too many has been that boys will be boys, or girls will just read that trashy stuff. Or it gets softened – say the popularity of soap operas, where not as much is seen but a hell of a lot is implied. This has been a long-standing problem, but with a new dimension of ready availability. Shoot, as airlines have opened up wifi access on flights, one of the first problems they’ve encountered is complaints from passengers of people next to them pulling up porn.
I’ve struggled with porn – still struggle, in all honesty – for a long time. I meet every week with a recovery group, people in similar circumstances who want and need healing. One of the common themes that we’ve found is that there gets to be a personal sense of entitlement to act out with porn, especially when you get under stress or get angry. You say to yourself “I deserve this” to “just relax” or because “I’m wanting more than I get”; the porn is changed in your mind (at least, in your justification) to something that is a reward, not something that is totally destructive. Sure, guilt usually follows (if it didn’t, we wouldn’t be meeting in this group) but the struggle is to keep from finding justifications.
In this vein, I can see how women can become just as addicted as men. Framing it in the long run not as a visual stimulus but the fantasy that we want more than we have / think we have.
Anne, you’re comment on the role of daddy in a girls life – that is something that my wife has emphasized and I fully buy in to. My girl knows and will know that I love her and think she is beautiful and wonderful. I never want her to feel a void from lack of my approval or love. Ditto for my son.
Christine – you’re young, and brave to admit this. I wouldn’t have at 16, even online to an anonymous crowd. Find someone to talk to, who will take you seriously, to share this burden. Sadly, I’ve found that is not always church leadership that can be turned to with this problem as they have too often not taken it very seriously. There are more and more sexual recovery groups popping up around the nation – see if there is one in your area.
Christine,
If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to ask. There are plenty of people here to help you.
Just like Euphrony said, sometimes church leadership doesn’t always take the open-minded approach. I’m a youth leader at my church. My kids (ages 12-19) know that if there’s anything they need to talk about, they just ask if we can have some one on one time. With us, they know that no topic is off limits. They know the answers will be frank and truthful.
Please don’t count out all of the church leadership just yet. There are a few of us out there trying to make an impact on the rest of “the church”. Especially on topics that have been considered taboo for waaaaaay too long. Just in the last 6 months, we’ve brought up: sex, cutting, suicide, drugs, abuse, and many more topics – and still haven’t scratched the surface.
Thanks Anne. Thanks Crystal. This is hard stuff to talk about. If we’re not willing to talk about it, how are we going to deal with the kiddos about it?
Hope I didn’t sound like I was writing off church leaders as people to turn to with this problem. In rereading my comments I got that impression, so I want to set that straight.
What I really wanted to say was that if you feel they don’t take this problem seriously, don’t feel like that is the end of the road. The recovery group I attend is sponsored by my church, and they actively advertise the fact that it is available for those in need. But, at the same time, there are some in my church’s leadership who don’t know what to say to this issue more than and “I’ll pray for you”, and as a result end up largely ignoring the problem for ignorance of what to say/do. But there are people who do know and want to help.
I have had opportunities to counsel women who are having sex outside of marriage, and I always remind them of the hormonal effects of sex. God created sex to bond a husband and wife. Sex releases hormones that make a woman feel close, bonded, and connected (better to pray and wait until married than to try to make relationship commitments while being sexually active). Whatever the reason is for initially looking at porn, both men and women can absolutely become addicted to the body’s good-feeling physical response?both the adrenaline and the oxytocin.
Euphrony,
I, speaking only for myself, didn’t think that you meant that you were writing off church leaders.
Unfortunately, where I live, most church leadership still has their heads buried in the sand. They still adhere to the idea that “if I don’t recognize that it’s real, it doesn’t exist” mentality. Some don’t, and for that reason, I say “don’t give up if the first person you attempt to contact about things like this. They may or may not take you seriously. There are numerous programs to reach out to that are more than willing to help.”
My prayer is that church leadership (collectively) will “get with the program”. It’s frustrating to try to help people with these kinds of problems when some of the church leadership doesn’t “get it”.The first line of help (and defense from “temptation attacks”) should be the church.
If reaching and helping people was the main objective when Christ was here, then it should be ours (speaking of the church) as well.
Thanks, guys, for the offer of help and someone to talk to… My life seems pretty balanced when I’m not looking at porn more than a couple times a week… all things in moderation is my belief… I can’t imagine ever quiting it altogether.
For the guys that may have a hard time understanding why women can be addicted to porn, let me lay out some of my own observations for you.
We/Science/Culture have always said that men are visually stimulated and women are (typically) not. This is simply just not true (anymore – it may have been at some point). I’m am an artist and dabble in many forms of art (design, painting, photography, etc.) and it makes total sense to me that I would react strongly to visual stimulus. It may be that men and women get different things out of viewing porn, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t attract both genders.
It also needs to be acknowledged that as our sexual culture continues to make it’s pendulum swing from the stifled climate of the Victorian era to the extremely liberated setting of the 70s and back and forth, the Christian subculture has generally taken a more restrictive or repressive stance (which can be good or bad, depending on the severity). As it is (and was), a lot of girls grow up with the impressions that they are not inherently sexual creatures, it is “bad” or “dirty” or “sinful” for expressing any sense of their own feminine sexuality and that they are not or do not have the capability to be beautiful/desirable/attractive/sexy. When a girl gets this impression, she may either end up as a sexual repressed being, eventually unable to express her sexuality to her husband or accept his expressions of sexual love to her, or as a sexual wild child, who does whatever she can to express her repressed sexuality and prove that she is beautiful/desirable/attractive/sexy. Most girls take a middle line between the two, experimenting when no one is looking but not really knowing how to handle their own femininity and sexuality in relation to other people.
It is so very important for us as Christians to acknowledge that we are sexual beings, that God made us this way, that it is good, and that He wants us to embody that in the way He designed. When girls are told they they are beautiful and attractive and and feminine and precious, and that it is good that they are, they can safely grow into their own sexuality and learn how to handle it in a way that is healthy for both themselves and other people. Tom mentioned Hannah Montana. Of course his daughter (and every other tween/teen girl I’ve worked with) wants to be her! These girl’s culture tells them that Hannah is beautiful and fun and attractive and that boys like her, traits that mature into adult sexuality.
I don’t want to make broad generalizations about women and porn, but I would say that part of a woman’s (or girl’s) attraction to porn is because she may have disassociated herself from being beautiful/desirable/attractive/sexy and culture acknowledges that porn and the people in it are all of the aforementioned. He attraction is to an idea or ideal which she can associate herself with and use to express her sexuality. I like what Crystal mentioned earlier about intimacy too. I think that porn allows women to feel physically intimate without actual involvement, which some women might see as intimidating or scary or dangerous, depending on where they come from.
Abi, some great points–especially in regards to why women/girls might be attracted to porn.
What’s so confusing though is that there are huge differences between women themselves when it comes to sexuality and what they find appealing–garnered from their own words and statements. Those big gaps cause significant problems when it comes to trying to figure out how to both address the problem of pornography and issues of broken sexual intimacy in marriage.
Christine, even if you don’t want to leave the porn, cyber-, or phonesex indulgences behind, my hope is that you at least want to want to. Even though you have found a sort of balance in regard to porn, I suggest that life on a tightrope, while balanced, may not be the kind of emotional, spiritual, and relational thriving you were made to enjoy. You may have found balance, but, please, I encourage you to ask, have you found bedrock stability?
Even if you don’t want to change, do you at least want to want to change? I pray you do. Not because sensuality or sexuality are inherently bad, but because, like a low-grade fever, repeatedly inflamed thinking, passions, and hormones that are not under the Lordship of Jesus will have unhealthy long-term effects.
I really do hope you see that.
Rich
BlogRodent
Thanks, Rich. You said,
“I suggest that life on a tightrope, while balanced, may not be the kind of emotional, spiritual, and relational thriving you were made to enjoy.”
Well, duh! Of course it’s not! I was made to be happily fulfilled in a happy marriage, but that ain’t gonna happen for a heckuva long time! Even if I was old enuff to marry, there is a severe shortage of young guys mature enuff to make good husbands! So I’m screwed at any age! My only option is to stay balanced on this tightrope!
Christine,
I’m saddened to say that while you believe you were made “to be happily fulfilled in a happy marriage” you will likely not experience that fulfillment in its deepest sense.
I could blather about stuff like happiness being something one can only find when it is not the thing sought for … or even that happiness is secondary to other virtues God wants to build in us … or that it is, in truth, a consequence of virtue, not its cause.
What matters is that joy will become far more tangible when you believe and trust that you were created to be loved by God. The surest sign that we (many of us!) don’t believe this is that we haven’t learned to love God ourselves and, instead, seek love and fulfillment everywhere else but in him. Our addictions (to work, to drugs, to sex, to pleasure, to entertainment) are symptoms of misplaced love.
If you’re “screwed at any age” it’s only because you’ve drilled yourself into such a narrow slot that you can no longer see the boundless horizon of God’s love for you and even as you read this, you may not believe that even believing this would be enough to satisfy.
I hope and pray that someday his love will be good enough to satisfy your real need.
Regards,
Rich
BlogRodent
I am really looking forward to seeing the research that Crystal’s surveys show.
We have a vision of providing support groups for women sex / porn addicts in our community. We have the churches and we have the curriculum. All we need is for one or two women in our coummunity to step forward and help facilitate a womens group.
“For every man hooked on porn or addicted to sex, there is most likely an equal number of women going down that same path of discouragement.” JMS
Jerry Sinclair
President, Faithful & True of Jacksonville, FL
I sometimes think that I might be addicted to porn. I am a 29 year old woman in a marriage but have problems with my husband. Many times I know that I watch porn out of anger and frustration that my needs are not being met. I have expressed my frustration with my husband but still find things have not changed. I think it is better for me to look at porn than to go out and cheat. He does not know that I do this and I have never told anyone. I feel guilty sometimes but then I feel anger against him.
hey, the article appears to have dissapeared, is it posted anywhere else?
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By the way, Crystal and Jessica’s interviews are up on the Covenant Eyes blog. Very interesting thoughts from both of them on this topic:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2009/08/17/podcast-porn-addiction-among-women-part-1/
Really late to this post, but I just wanted to add a comment to Shaun’s observation about women not being so dependent on visual stimulation. While that’s not true for all women, it certainly is for me. But that still doesn’t mean that porn is not an issue. You do not have to look very hard at all on the internet to find all kinds of pornographic literature (often this is much more easily accessible than the images, too). The narrative setting (however implausible and sketchy), especially if it is written from the point of view of the female character is what draws me in. Because I have to create the images in my own head as I read, they are infinitely more powerful for me than any photos or videos, and thus infinitely more dangerous. So yes, I don’t need the pictures, but the words are just as addictive.
While i may not be religious, i still believe that a man who dates me WILL NOT be looking at any other woman. If you love me, then you wont need to look around. I hate pornography. I hate what it has done to my relationships. I told a boyfriend years ago that he could watch porn OR he could be with me. It was to the point where he would rather do that then be with me physically. Its sick. SO i have always haed porn. But every man i date watches it and they say I AM INSECURE because i dont want it in my life or in my relationships. I deserve to be treated with respect and loved without having to compromise my beliefs.
You are SO right!
Hello,
This does not shock me at all. I am a male who was introduced and encourage to watch porn by my mom and her lover. I have been saved now for a long time; before this I lived with a lady who was into porn just as much as I was. This idea women can not be visually stimulated by porn is horse dung!!!! The thing is, women and men; all feel helpless, lonely, and it will warp your thinking. It is refreshing to see Christian Woman talking about this. Woman are sexual also. God made women sexual too; yet it is for the husband, and the husband is made to be sexual for his wife. Porn is a killer, I have my battles and it has taken me a long time to win. The one thing we can not do is pretend this can’t happen; Satan’s biggest weapon has to be denial. How can any woman or man be set free if they can not admit help. Church should be the first place to seek healing for anything. I am not perfect I still have my fights, and lust and sex is not an easy thing to overcome. I believe it will happen. It is just my experiance that woman can be just as sexual, and aggresive as men. I have lived this. An example is female teacher male student rape. I wonder how much of porn and our over sexed society is helping with this. The schools and the media is teaching woman, that is okay for women to be aggresive, and to explore their sexuality too. So why is this so shocking that women would be addicted too? All people no matter if they are male and female need Jesus’ help. It is refreshing to see Christian woman coming out and saying I have a problem too. Get healed too.
Oh also, as a guy, I have had just as much trouble with more erotic, fantasy driven porn, just as much as women. So the gender thing about porn has GOT to go away.
Lets pray,
Jesus help us all. We live in a society completely turned upside down. We are over sexed, and many are so hurting, for so many reasons. Help both men and women to get healed of sexual addictions, and the lack of love we seem to feel. Please Jesus forgive us, help us, and make us all strong. Bring to us a real help; to pretend sex doesn’t exist is wrong, and to be all about sex is wrong too. You gave it to us; let us not be afraid or religious, lets attack this subject, these issues with wisdom and love. If we don’t how can someone who has been aboused get healing? How can a person being tormented by lust get set free? Lets have the Body be what it is suppose to be. There is nothing new under ths sun. So Jesus help us all. Give the Body wisdom, understanding, and power to brake this bondage. In Jesus Name do I pray, A-man.
I don’t really understand what people are talking about..that women look at porn because of some emotional reasons.. don’t cut us so much slack- we go to get off from it- simple as that. It is after all an addiction, and therefore, the brain enjoys it. But, of course, we search for it for a diff. reason at the start. We all have some individual reasons that we get into this filth. Instead of thinking that women are innocent and would never do this, and men are just men, let’s start not being sexist, and see this as a problem for all because this is a real addiction.
Thank u for the video!!!
I don’t see the masturbation element of porn addiction discussed. My brother says that is what drives guys interest in porn. I feel a desire to masturbate at times but I look at it more out of curiosity about sex. I’m trying to stop looking at it because I feel it’s not healthy. However,when I’m home alone, I have a strong temptation and that is how I know I may have a problem.
Wow. This is clearly a real problem for man and women. It is so good that you are bringing this to light so women as well as men can seek the help that they need. We live in a world where sex has been cheapened and perverted so much, and a journey back to purity, where men and women honour and respect themselves and others as God intended, requires courage, and people like yourself who are willing to walk a little of journey together with them without judging.
For a guy’s perspective of women sex addicts, see:
http://addictedtofantasyandlust.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html
Obviously, a number of women are being addicted to porn these days. Why is such addiction occurring to women? Maybe these women lack attention that they need within their home. Or maybe the need to engage themselves in activities to divert their addiction. Well, undoubtedly these women need some serious help.
Gregory,
Your question deserves an answer and I am sure there are more qualified readers of this blog that can answer it. There are several reasons for this huge increase of porn viewers being women:
1] Without any doubt, we live in a sexually saturated society. No person is immune to billboards, radio, TV, internet, cellphones, etc giving a sexual message. Young people are being exposed to the media at a very young tender age with a lot more messages than their parents and grandparents ever saw. Every generation gets stronger and more perverse messages.
2] The message, from the media, is that sex can get you what you want. Women see the message that they need to look like the [nude] images they see on the internet. The complexity is what do women want as opposed to the male gender. You mentioned lack of attention in the home. I think it goes deeper than giving attention.
3] In my opinion, I think both women and men have the same basic needs and the addict [male or female] is trying to get that legitimate need met through sex. Dr. Mark & Deb Laaser, (leading experts on sex addiction in the Christian community) wrote a book called the Seven Desires of Every Heart (Zondervan). The author’s believe that having these desires met in a healthy way can help an addict find some peace and some serenity. Three of these desires are:
1. To be heard and understood
2. To be affirmed
3. To be touched (in a non-sexual way)
The female sex addict is a growing phenomenon that has been with us since the fall of man in the Garden. Hopefully, the church will receive these women who want to change and sexually addicted women will have the courage to come out of the darkness and into the light.
My testimony of that awakening started 16 years ago and I do not regret it.
I accidentally stumbled on this page about female porn addiction. It does not surprise me. Nowhere in the bible is it stated that sexual lust is a male only sin. Jesus has said:”All have sinned”. Satan does not choose gender for spiritual attacks! Sure there are differences in the male and female mind. Remember how Joseph had to run away from Pothipar’s wife who in modern terms can only be defined as a sex addict. To both men and women the bible loudly trumpets “FLEE FORNICATION” !
I don’t think anyone debates that more women than before are being pulled into pornography as of recent years, but I do think there’s plenty of evidence that there’s a bigger gap between men and women on this than meets the eye, as even secular scientists discovered:
“The researchers confirmed what most of them suspected all along: that women’s arousal [and sexuality as a whole], much more so than men’s, rests in the psychological as well as the physiological.” — Roach, Mary (2009-04-06). Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex (p. 200). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.
Porn is a huge problem; no doubt (esp. in the church); but truth is, because of this difference between men and women, there are still plenty of women (especially in marriages) who could care less about sexual intimacy and laugh at men’s anatomy/physicality (read through any Christian marriage forum dealing with refused spouses, for example). There are still significant gaps between the sexes that demand evidence before they are proven wrong:
http://www.gregdonner.org/thoughts/thoughts2.html#menandwomendiscerningourdifferences