A Note to Some Folks: Mark Aderholt Lied to You

I’ve been debating writing this post for some time. As news of Mark Aderholt’s resignation and subsequent arrest became public last year, I received emails (and a phone call or two) from people who knew him. Before he was arrested, and I assume when he started to figure out something was going on, he created an entirely false narrative to explain what was happening.

From my understanding based on multiple sources, around the same time as he went on a mission trip to Hong Kong, he told people in his circles that he pursued a “normal” relationship with a woman (some said he “gave a sanitized version” of the story that came out in the Star-Telegram). That woman was accusing him of things that did not happen and sued him. He then told them that he was finalizing the settlement and the lawsuit would be settled shortly after he returned from his trip.

This, on all accounts, is completely false.

• He did not pursue a “normal” relationship with a woman in his past. He pursued a physical/sexual relationship with a 16-year-old girl. And, according to his written personal testimony (which I have seen first hand), he did this while he pursued a courtship with the woman who is now his wife. He met her shortly before he returned to the US in 1996 and said he knew around the time they met that she was the woman he was going to marry. He sexually abused me from September 1996 through April 1997. She returned the summer of 1997 from being overseas and they married in December 1997. They later moved to Hungary to serve with the IMB.

• The only time I have ever communicated directly with Mark after he was married was in 2006, when I emailed the email address listed on his missionary website. I did this at the suggestion of my (non-licensed) church counselor. The letter was to state the facts of what happened to the best of my memory, let him know that I forgave him, and I think that I was moving on with my life (though I don’t remember for sure on that last part. I know it was what I wrote in my journal about sending the letter). I never got a reply to that.

• In short: I cannot sue him. The statute of limitations for filing a civil suit is 5 years after the victim’s 18th birthday. In Texas, sometimes it is considered after the fact, based on when any injuries occur. Since my depression and anxiety started shortly after my abuse, and the PTSD was diagnosed in 2010, the statute expired for me to press civil charges. This is different than the criminal statute of limitations, which has no expiration date for sex crimes.

• Given that, I have never sued Mark or filed any lawsuit of any kind. I have never written a demand letter. I have never even hired an attorney to explore that or attempt that. The only time I have retained counsel was during my divorce in 2010, to make sure that everything was done by the book relating to my divorce filing, and that alone.

• As such, there was never a lawsuit, so there was never an attempt to settle or a settlement. His claim of settling a lawsuit is entirely false. I have never sued anyone, though I explored the option to sue Milestones in Tennessee for damages after my jaw was broken in four places as a result of one of their recreational activities. However, for several reasons, I did not sue them. I’ve never, ever sued anyone or settled a lawsuit.

• I wanted to make this information public because I have no idea how many people he lied to about this. In conversations with various people that knew him, they learned they were also lied to about the reason he returned to the US after he resigned (before he could be terminated) when the IMB determined he abused me and, once again said Mark did not confess to the full truth of the relationship with me. He told people that God very clearly called them back to the US to train missionaries and nothing about the fact that he would no longer be able to serve as an IMB missionary because he was determined to have been credibly accused of sexually abusing a minor.

• As you can see, there is a pattern of omission and deception surrounding Mr. Aderholt:
  • He lied to me about the intent of our “relationship” by not telling me he was involved with someone else.
  • He lied to Kristie while she was overseas (and after) during the time he did abuse me.
  • He lied to the IMB assessment team.
  • He did not disclose any abuse claims after he resigned from the IMB because of the abuse allegation and their findings.
  • He lied to his most recent employer, saying he would provide documentation to clear his name (it doesn’t exist) and he later recanted that offer.
  • He lied to those around him about me, a lawsuit that never existed, and the settlement of such lawsuit which also never existed.
  • Until he confesses to what happened in its entirety, he continues to live dishonestly.

I know it’s hard to reconcile Mr. Aderholt’s apparent double life. He did so much good and was well liked by many. I was enamored by his personality when I was a teenager, and I trusted him too. It is my hope that he will decide to come clean and own his dishonesty, apologize and ask forgiveness from those to whom he lied. If you were a person that he lied to, I am truly sorry for whatever pain or loss you experienced. I’m here to answer any questions or provide any documentation you need.

With sorrow for what’s been lost and hope for restoration and justice for everyone involved,

Anne Marie Miller