“God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).
Stress and burnout can cause us to project our pain and exhaustion on others — usually those closest to us. Some people respond to burnout by lashing out in anger and storming around in a rage as their lives are falling apart.
Exhaustion can cause us to shut down and stop communicating with our spouse or our friends. And by “communicating,” I mean both talking and listening. We no longer feel connected to those around us, and we begin not to care about nurturing those relationships that God has placed in our lives.
After not communicating for a while, resentment can develop. Our spouses or friends may not feel comfortable opening up to us anymore, and bitterness can be formed and directed toward us, toward the church, and even toward God.
Reflect:
In Matthew 5:9, Jesus directs us to be “peacemakers.” It will take effort and intentionality on our part to bring balance back into our relationships. We are to make peace and strive for unity.
Have you cut off communication with people because you’re feeling burned out? Write down their names and a trait you admire about each one of them. Then write down a date you will contact them, making amends if necessary.
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The above post is an excerpt (Day 9) of my book Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope and Health. It releases next Tuesday, and I’m crazy excited to share it with you!
Comments
6 responses to “Struggle with Shutting Other People Out?”
I struggle soooo bad with shutting people out, fortunately I have had people who give me space but not too much. It’s so hard when you have been hurt so many times to trust people. I have done better, but still have a long way to go! Can’t wait to read your book. Even though I am not in the ministry anymore because of burnout I am in a service profession.
Thanks for sharing. It’s a struggle for me too. Most of the stuff I write about asking if YOU struggle with it just means I want to know I’m not alone! :)
Guilty as charged. To add to that, stress increases as you try to force yourself to continue to perform while exhausted, thereby making the cycle worse.
Yessir.
Too often when we are shutting other people out because of our burnout we don’t even realize we are burned out. We think they are just being impossible to get along with. And if they would just get their act together then we wouldn’t need to shut them out.
Unfortunately, burn out often is hard to diagnose in ourselves. And the more stressed we are the worse we are at self diagnosis.
That’s why it is so critical to take time off and away regularly. Because as we start to unwind we can suddenly have the lights go on. And that can save relationships.
You are so spot on, Doug!