For the last six months (or three years, depending on who you ask), I’ve been working on my third book. At first, it was going to be about riding my bike across the country and learning lessons in community along the way. But then some not-so-great life stuff happened and I needed a respite. A year later, I thought it was going to be about how to live in the present moment. That idea didn’t work out so well because I learned along the way I was doing too darn good at running from the present moment.
But then my editor said to not think about it for six months. Don’t talk to him about it for six months. Do nothing about it for six months.
I’m so glad God has put smart people in my life.
During that six months, I was able to take a breath and look back at what was making my heart beat. What was the one message I had to tell? That I’ve lived, am living, and will always live and love?
We landed it. I’ve been working on it since.
Presently, it is very much in the [Crappy] First Draft* situation. But at the end of this month, I get to turn this [C]FD in to Thomas Nelson and in about ten months or so, you’ll be able to buy it.
People have asked me what it’s about…and I wish I had a title for it (for some reason, that part just hasn’t illuminated itself to us) so, in a nut shell (as it sits now, which is both subject and likely to change in the editing process):
It’s about vulnerability in relationships, particularly those with other believers. It’s going beyond the word “community” and talks how to figure out how you relate to others, and themes of vulnerable and committed relationships. It offers characteristics for both when you “need a person” and for when you need to “be the person” as we carry each other through life.
I’d love to hear any feedback you have – questions you have about relationships, good experiences, lessons learned, what you feel you need when it comes to having functioning healthy community in the Body of Christ. Feel free to leave it in the comments below or on Twitter or Facebook!
Thanks for hanging in the interlude with me the past three years!
*[C]FD is my PG13 translation of an Anne Lamott expression.
Comments
23 responses to “My New Book”
Ok, required research for anyone writing about vulnerability: “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown. Changed my life.
Very much so! She is quoted in the first part of my book!
Wow. What a tough subject to wrestle with! I say tough b/c my first reaction is a twinge of pain. I have had both wonderful and awful experiences in “community”. Getting too close to anyone or any body will inevitably lead to hurt– either getting hurt or giving hurt (or both). But as Christians we need each other so very desperately.
As for themes, two things jump to mind: communication and expectations. And communicating expectations. I have had so many relationships fail–from close friends to church leaders– because some aspect of these themes have failed.
I would love to know more questions you are tackling and what you are hoping the outcome to be! Sounds fascinating and I can’t wait to read the book!
Good stuff…your feedback is very helpful! Once I get the go-ahead from my publisher, I’ll be sharing more!
Glad to see that you’re working on something! It’s sure to be great. :)
I hope so! :)
I love this idea. I’ve had some rough experiences with relationships. My biggest question is, at what point do I need to realize the relationship is too one sided (i’m giving too much and not getting much back) and harmful to my emotional health, or am I bring too selfish?
This is a good thing to consider that I haven’t yet. Thanks, Jonathan!
I am so awful at vulnerability. It’s terrifying for me… I don’t know if I ever learned to navigate vulnerability and I’m married to a man who never learned either … Can you learn vulnerability and if so how and how does vulnerability benefit your marriage? This has been my constant question as I step into this phase of my life
I think / hope this will help.
I’d be interested to read this once it’s published. Having explored and had some experience of community in various guises, it can have positive as well as negative connotations and ways of being implemented. Having seen and to a lesser degree experienced an “organised” community I was put off the idea for some time, but some years later being involved with another community that just seemed to form organically with like-minded people coming together naturally, it brought home to me just how freeing and present the presence of God could be among people. Of course, it’s has it’s elements of danger and risk, but that cannot be separated from it.
Bring it on!
This is so…right up the book’s alley! :) haha.
can’t wait for it, Anne! And how ’bout “I Need You Need Me”! Catchy, ‘eh?
Thanks, Lisa!
I like it! In part because it looks like a close cousin to “loving our neighbors,” which is what God’s laid on my family’s heart. Best wishes!
Thanks, Pete!
I plan to be one of the first in line for this book!
I am attempting to give vulnerability another try after years of keeping a safe distance from church and church people. Of course, I’ve been going to church that whole time, but I’ve gotten quite adept at hiding in a room filled with people. I’m naturally a loving, accepting, trusting person who is outgoing and a little on the adventurous side. However, a couple of bad church situations later, I found myself being an extrovert who is incredibly afraid of people. That’s an awful place for someone like me. I’m tired of living in that tension, and I’m tired of fear dictating my life.
I love being transparent, fearless, silly, immature, irreligious, and not caring so much if people don’t like me. God has placed a dream in my heart to return to ministry. And tonight, I’m taking a big step. I’m planning to go to mid-week service…by myself. All by myself! That’s huge for me!
And I feel adventurous and wide-eyed. Reckless abandon…haven’t felt like this in years. Haven’t smiled like this years either. I just hope I don’t chicken out. Vulnerability can be a rush. It really feels good to know that I’ve healed so much that I’m strong enough to be vulnerable again.
Can’t wait for the book!
Such a great story, great words…how did church go?
Thanks for asking! I thought about it, but I didn’t chicken out! Yay!
I timed my arrival for about 5 minutes late and thought I ‘owned this thang.’ But I totally forgot about the ‘shake hands and be friendly’ portion, which to me is the ultimate in church scariness –and I used to be in assimilation and hospitality, go figure. Just as I started to make a break to the lobby to ‘take a call’ or a ‘bathroom break,’ I accidentally made eye contact with someone who then started up a well-intended yet awkward conversation for the remainder of the three minutes whose seconds were ticking off ever so slowly on the big screen. Other than that, things were great! I usually only go with my family, so no one recognized me as a loner. Too funny.
It was quite the confidence booster though. Understated and quiet, I’m sure no one else knew the little miracle I experienced, no, the miracle I’m becoming. It was a baby step in vulnerability and community, but it was huge for my heart. And a bit of a rush!
Totally unrelated, I loved the video of your proposal. I cried and cried. So sweet. Best wishes to the both of you, and I saw that you are heading into Georgia later this year! I may have to check that out! And for real, you asking about my church adventure totally made my day! You rock!
Thank you so much! And I’m happy to hear how it all went! Praying for many more surprises!
I have discovered (with much pain) that being real is very dangerous in most all Christian churches today. I’ve also discovered that the younger generation wants “real” to be a large part of their life. I started to learn to be real, over 30 yrs. ago. I like to describe it by saying “I started to take my Mask off”. I stopped trying to be someone that I wasn’t. I discovered that it takes a lot of energy to try and be someone you are not!
Being real is simple but not easy, I don’t think it can be done without the Holy Spirit empowering you in the process. It is a life time journey, and it can be very painful (Jesus was made Perfect thru the things he suffered). We are all wounded (we live in a fallen world). It took me much prayer and time waiting on God to discover how my wounds affected my life and relationships. Anne keep up your good work, You and your ministry are like a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
Great thoughts and oh, so true. Thank you…
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