A couple of weeks ago, I was on a retreat with a handful of people who earn their living from the platform. That platform could be writing, public speaking, or doing music professionally.
At one point early in the retreat, somebody said something along the lines of,
“Self-promotion is the opposite of the character of Jesus.”
–
Given I had just written about my hesitation on how to market and promote a book, this statement made my stomach churn.
The group shared some thoughts on that – the difficulty of realizing the complete truth of that statement (I mean, how many times in Scripture did Jesus actually say, ‘DON’T GO AND TELL ANYONE I DID THIS‘…um…a lot!) and also feeling the tension of having to let people know about whatever message and platform we have to share.
My confession: The last two weeks I have not been healthy. I have tucked myself away for twelve, fourteen, and at one point seventeen hours in my little office. If it weren’t for the one window I have, it would be like a casino and I’d never know if it was day or night and would probably somehow grow a beard (or more likely really long leg hair) and look like a lesser tanned version of Tom Hanks on Castaway.
Tomorrow, my book Permission to Speak Freely: Essays and Art on Fear, Confession and Grace OFFICIALLY releases. Yes, I realized Amazon shipped it two weeks ago and I can’t say thanks enough for your kind feedback.
But tomorrow, it’s official. There will be blog tours and I’ll probably tweet a few times more than normal and then, over the course of the next three or four months, will be traveling almost every week to talk about it at a church or a conference or a retreat or over coffee. (More coffee? Really? My hands are twitching because of the amount of espresso I have consumed in this two week period.) There are interviews and airports and hotels and shaking hands with strangers and wearing my grown up clothes in order to look my age.
I still battle.
I love this book. I love that people are responding the way they have so far and the message of it, the redemption of the broken pieces of my past and my present, are being used to help others find confession, transformation, healing, and hope. People are learning they are not alone. And if any statement was one my heart beat for, it would be that:
You are not alone.
—
People often imagine a book release day is a grandiose day and that you get flowers and balloons and as you walk down the street people stop and say, “Congratulations!” Or maybe I give too much of my guilty pleasures away when I say the illusion of being on a street in New York City and seeing a bus go by with your face and your book on it (i.e., Carrie Bradshaw) is what we authors dream of. But nothing could be further from the truth.
I’ll wake up. Shower. Put on my jeans and probably a grey tee-shirt (my summer wardrobe), battle myself on how much coffee I need, give in to a double, drive to my office and walk up the stairs. I’ll check my email, wish there were more messages from people with names instead of “Google Alerts” in the sender’s field, and keep tabs on my Amazon sale ranking – which means absolutely nothing in the publishing world. It’s simply a time-waster for authors who need their egos fed. I’ll work on editing a project, writing an article, making some phone calls, and check my Amazon sales rank again. And again. And then I’ll lock up my office, walk downstairs, get in my car, and go home.
Having a book release is a special thing. It’s a privilege I don’t take for granted. At all.
But, is it the end all? The one thing that fills the void when you close your eyes and go to sleep?
No way.
Does it even help fill that void?
Nope.
As poet and author Mary Oliver says,
“Writing is only writing. The accomplishments of courage and tenderness are not to be measured by paragraphs.”
Referring back to my post earlier, the measure of a man is the love by which he engages with humanity. I suppose in a small way, sharing words from my heart with others is a simple act of that. But just know, the tension is there. It’s a tension I’ve yet to understand or even be able to balance in a healthy way all the time.
All of this semi-sensical rambling to say I would love your prayers for the launch of this book.
I would also love for you to buy it. But I’m not going to hold a social media gun to your head and blast you in the face with that very often.
So, more than anything, your prayers.
That people will be helped.
That people who are hurt will be able to open up and share and have their weight lifted.
And that people will realize they are not alone.
That it’s okay to speak freely.
I appreciate each of you.
Thank you.
Comments
30 responses to “A Tough Confession to Make”
“That people will be helped.
That people who are hurt will be able to open up and share and have their weight lifted.
And that people will realize they are not alone.
That it’s okay to speak freely.”
Anne – this is what makes you and your Gift special. Keep focusing on helping people (like you do now, sharing your experiences and lessons learned, advice to others, and all will be well.
I pray you make tons and tons of money from your books and speaking engagements. Why? Because I know you’ll return it to the Kingdom in some way and God Himself will further multiply it to reach and feed others!
blessings…
t
Your book is a gift and a blessing to many of us who need healing. Praying for you and the the lives that the book will touch! :-)
THAT was your tough confession? Sheesh. That’s nothing. I thought you were going to finally admit you’re a 63 year old man named Floyd. ;)
Although…I saw something in your post that did concern me:
“Does it even help fill that void?
Nope.”
I don’t believe for a second that your knowing God has used to help other people make their lives better doesn’t help at all. It certainly won’t fill it on its own…but a day where you help someone else can’t have no impact on you.
I will be praying for those things that you have listed but also that God blesses you with his abundant peace and joy in all of this. You have said ‘Here I am, Lord.’ and He will use you.
I’ve been through the anti-climax of having a book release several times now. People don’t seem to realize that the day really isn’t that much different from any other Tuesday.
Sure, you have an agent & a publishing company & a marketing firm & radio interviews to do, but you still have dishes to do & a spouse who knows what you’re really like first thing in the morning. It’s weird for those of us who write about being like Jesus to suddenly try to push people to buy a book they may or may not need with money they may or may not have.
Thanks for putting this into words. Know, please, that you are also not alone. There’s at least one other author out there who struggles mightily with this.
What’s worse: if I’m being completely honest — I’ll probably keep a jealous eye on your sales figures & wonder if it’s b/c you were more humble than I am…or less.
I have your book. And it moved me. Much more than I thought it would. And I will promote it. And now with much more enthusiasm because of the vision you’ve cast about where it fits into life. I love that perspective even more than the book.
Thank you. For that.
~Lisa-Jo
Looking forward to reading it. God bless your travels.
I know that tension, on a smaller scale. Writing a blog. Getting up on a stage in front of lots of people to lead music. Sometimes I catch myself thinking more about myself than the One to whom I want (truly) to draw attention to.
There was a time when it made me think “maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.” But then I felt like God said “Just so you know, your motives are NEVER absolutely perfect. Your works are ALWAYS tarnished, and you ALWAYS need Me to breathe life into them. Just do what I’ve made you to do and leave the rest to Me, including your own heart and desires and motives.”
Thanks for being faithful to your calling, and for being honest.
I have already begun recommending PTSF to friends. I was so encouraged by reading it. I will pray for you today as it is released. Be sure to make plenty of time for yourself and for your husband.
Anne: I don’t know if I have any right to say this or not. I admire your honesty in dealing with the issue of self-promotion. Lord knows it gets out of hand. But you have a message to give to people. God has given you that platform, a platform that many of us will never have. A platform where you are speaking and writing for those of us who don’t have that voice. Please don’t apologize for it. I have not read your newest book and did not “need” to read Mad Church at the time it was released (although I am in need of it now)but you have a message to share. Share it! I pray your tour goes well, the blogging goes well and is a blessing to others, and that you, instead of finding yourself dog-tired, will find yourself refreshed and on a mountain peak enjoying God’s goodness to one willing to be used by Him.
Thank you for a beautifully created, strikingly crafted work of art, truth, and hope. Last week I recommended it to single parents in New Hampshire. It’s featured on my blog today. And I’ll be pointing my clients to it here in New York in the weeks to come.
Be at peace with a job beautifully done! Enjoy the ride as you get out there and share Christ’s love and compassion! And know, without a doubt, that God is using your story of pain and healing to impact countless broken people who haven’t yet discovered a safe place to speak what’s most true about their souls.
So many of us have yearned along the way for Christ-like communities that are welcoming, safe, and spiritually and emotionally nurturing.
God knows those places are hard to find.
I have an idea that whether we clean bathrooms, raise children, build buildings, or write books, there will always be the question of what we are after in it. Does it define us? Does it make us ok? Do we reflect the Glory?
This book is going to be LIFE to many who read it. Because God will breathe through the words and into hearts. Because you asked a tough question and people had the courage to answer. Because God trusts you with these truths and knows that you will wrestle whatever demons you must to get them to the people who need them. And, because He is not finished speaking TO you, or THROUGH you, yet.
Congratulations friend! Revel tomorrow…and wrestle… and keep writing about all of it…for you….and for us.
Much Love,
s
Anne, I read Mad Church Disease not because of it’s content, but because I had come to “know” the author and her heart. PTSF is on its way and I look forward to it, but before even opening it I know I will glean from it because a woman who cares about her audience, is concerned about not promoting self, and whose heart breaks for those in need has poured herself into it.
Yes, Christ did tell some to not spread about what he had done, but why? I think it was because their heart would be about their self promotion, because he was not ready for his ministry to move in certain directions yet (and come to an end too early), and because he wanted his ministry to focus on the Father’s agenda.
My prayer for tomorrow is that it will be an amazingly special day where you may wear comfortable clothes, not feel pressured by deadlines or demands, enjoy the blessings of a job/home/spouse/freetime/freedom/etc., and find joy in being a part of something meaningful. But mostly my prayer is that you will sit face-to-face with your Father and will feel utter freedom to speak freely to him, and you will feel his tremendous love, care, and grace poured over you in a way that gives you life. I pray you will feel him saying you have been faithful with a little, well done, and then you will dream big dreams and be inspired about where the Lord has brought you and where he is leading.
Be at peace and let go. You have done your part, now let him do his. After all, he is God!
Congratulations, Annie. You spoke freely in your book and called it that. You’re speaking freely about the book. I love it. And I love you. I hope I’m close enough sometime somewhere to see or hear you on this tour. Have a wonderful day tomorrow. Enjoy the birthday of your new baby.
I just ordered my copy to be deivered via Kindle tomorrow. Looking forward to reading it.
Already bought it, and read it in one night, and really got a lot from it. Thank you for writing it. I think it’s a beautiful thing when our stories can help other people, and remind them that they are not alone. I will gladly pray for the official release.. and for you. Bless you.. Anna.
Anne. I’ve never written the book, but I struggle with “building” online in the same capacity…whether it’s blog readers, twitter followers or you name it. It all seems to be about me. It just doesn’t sit right with me.
A great post.
Kyle
And I need to re-read my comments because apparently, that was all about “me.”
-geesh
I got my copy of PTSF from Amazon when it was first available. I opened it… glanced through just the visual “confessions” that people sent in and I cried. I’ve spent years involved in ministry. We all have our own brokenness and pain. Many times we carry shame because of it. I have seen first hand the miracle that happens when people can come out of the shadows and share who they really are and their real stories with others. Church as we know it in this country is not always a safe place. Your book and our willinness as people to help create a safe place, can go a long way in the healing process. Am I willing to share everything in my heart with everyone… no. But I love it when I can just be free to be myself and share my struggles and the grief I carry as well as the good happy stuff.
I understand you not just wanting to promote yourself… but Jesus also said that we shouldn’t hide our light under a basket… we should let it shine! Your book is full of truth… that healing and hope is possible… that Jesus is tender with us… that people can be cruel, but that real love and fellowship is amazing. Let that truth SHINE. Thank you for giving me another tool that I can put into people’s hands that will help heal and restore instead of tear down. At this point in my life I’ve done a bunch of media seen by millions of people and at the end of the day who cares? But I do love the fact that as creative people can work on something for months and then it goes on and takes on a life of it’s own. Who knows who will end up reading your books over the years, or have hope kindled again when they come to hear you speak. But I love the emails I get where people’s lives have been touched by something I’ve done that’s helped them. I know that PTSF will offer that hope to others. I’ll be praying for you in the midst of the ensuing sameness and complete craziness of your schedule in the upcoming months.
Anne,
Your books are a ministry to others. I don’t think you need to apologize for using what God has done in your life to help/bless others. You keep doing what God has gifted you to do. Keep the humility too though. :) Peace
Two thumbs up! Oh, wait, that’s for movies.
I think we are all called to share our testimony – it is how we overcome, and like a smart author once said, it is gives others the “gift of going second.” Some share face to face, some on blogs, others through books. There’s no point in writing a book and then pretending it doesn’t exist. You have to tell people it’s out there.
I loved PTSF and I pray God would use it will impact many lives – for HIS glory. And that you would not feel an ounce of condemnation from the enemy.
If you have a chance, read my “To Save A Life” post. The message is important. (shameless promotion.)
Prayer’s, Anne Girl…
Anne,
Okay, time for my confession. I haven’t finished reading PtSF. Yes, I pre-ordered it on Amazon, and got it quickly. I even did the ego boost thing and scanned for my contribution. (Just so everybody else knows, one got in there.)
I’ve read half the book this evening. I intend on finishing it tonight.
We’ve never met, though I hope to change that before we meet our Savior. You and I are different, but we share enough experiences that I feel like I know you. I guess anybody who has read both of your books and any portion of this blog feels the same way.
Anne, please know that I am praying for YOU (and Chris, of course) today, especially. I cannot imagine the kinds of attacks the devil has going on you right now. This book release probably makes MCD’s first day seem like it was nothing. I do pray that PtSF reaches EVERY Christian, because welALL need to hear it!
But I can still imagine that teenager who’s not that far away. I can imagine me as a teen (a generation before you) and how well he could, and could not, identify with yours. He wasn’t a “church guy” until college. (Yep, I still get things backwards.)
I can imagine teenaged Anne and how she must feel after going 100% vulnerable to a world that abused her.
I’m praying for that teen, and the awesome writer & woman she has become.
I’m praying for you, Mrs. Anne Jackson.
And if you should find yourself in the Melbourne, FL, area, be prepared to have your eyeballs hugged out!
thanks anne. this is why we need to open up and speak freely to know we are not alone in the battle. thanks, thanks, thanks.
I’ve definitely noticed a tendency in the Christian world (particularly its blogging sector) to hold up publishing a book as something that will heal and lift up the soul and fulfill your entire life.
in the spirit of sell promotion I’m linking to a blog I wrote about this.
ooh self promotion is bad.
Everyday I see your tweets, visit or blog (it’s only been 1 week :D) I’m touched, healed, moved, inspired and encouraged. I leave full, better and know that Jesus uses you to tell me – I relate, I know, and I will always accept you as you are.
Jesus loves me and now…this I “do” know…Woohoo!!!
whoops…meant to say your blog…not or..hee hee
I love your honesty. I love that you have painted the reality behind what many who read your blog would love–a release of their own book. I love that you have gently reminded that books and numbers and stats are not, really, the point. At. All. Even though it is so easy to get wrapped up into believing that they hold much more value than they actually do.
I read last week in Francis Chan’s book Forgotten God and new idea. He was talking about the passage in Matthew where Jesus says essentially to “do good things so that God will be noticed.” Chan made the comment that if people see your “good deeds” and notice YOU, instead of God, then maybe the Holy Spirit wasn’t really at work in the good deeds you were doing in the first place. I love that distinction, that reminder. It’s so easy to boast-big, instead of point-first.
Thanks for your reminders of that. I so appreciate your raw honesty.
I love your honesty. I love that you have painted the reality behind what many who read your blog would love–a release of their own book. I love that you have gently reminded that books and numbers and stats are not, really, the point. At. All. Even though it is so easy to get wrapped up into believing that they hold much more value than they actually do.
I read last week in Francis Chan’s book Forgotten God and he shared a new idea. He was talking about the passage in Matthew where Jesus says essentially to “do good things so that God will be noticed.” Chan made the comment that if people see your “good deeds” and notice YOU, instead of God, then maybe the Holy Spirit wasn’t really at work in the good deeds you were doing in the first place. I love that distinction, that reminder. It’s so easy to boast-big, instead of point-first.
Thanks for your reminders of that. I so appreciate your raw honesty.