I only brought two books with me on the Ride:Well Tour: Mary Oliver’s Dream Work (my favorite collection of hers) and Walking on Water by Madeline L’Engle. I’m a fairly uncommitted reader, so I thought that would be enough.
L’Engle refers to several books in Walking on Water, two of which I found myself desperately needing. One being her own A Circle of Quiet, and also Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet. It just so happened that A Circle of Quiet is in my own library of books, and with two taps on my phone, I had Rilke’s on the way to meet me in Nashville when the tour stopped there.
I finished Rilke’s the two nights I was home, and plucked A Circle of Quiet off the top shelf in my office to put in my messenger bag. Also, since my church (St. Bartholomew’s) was hosting me, from their bookstore, I picked up a copy of Evangelicals on the Canterbury Trail – a book exploring the movement of protestants into the Anglican/Episcopalian tradition, since I currently find myself in such a transition.
Only eleven pages into A Circle of Quiet, I came across these words I found quite worthy of sharing. I’d love your thoughts on them:
The Greeks had a word for ultimate self-consciousness which I find illuminating: hubris: pride: pride in the sense of putting oneself in the center of the universe. The strange and terrible thing is that this kind of total self-consciousness invariably ends in self-annihilation. The great tragedians have always understood this, from Sophocles to Shakespeare. We witness it in history in such people as Tiberius, Eva Peròn, Hitler.
I was timid about putting forth most of these thoughts, but this kind of timidity is itself a form of pride. The moment that humility becomes self-conscious, it becomes hubris. One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time. Therefore, the act of creating – painting a picture, singing a song, writing a story – is a humble act? This was a new thought to me. Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else.
I tweeted this specific line a few days ago: “One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time,” and surprisingly received some negative feedback. I personally thought it was a brilliant, but others didn’t share the sentiment.
Oswald Chambers hinted on something similar once:
Yet you will never be able to measure fully what God will do through you if you have a right-standing relationship with Jesus Christ…it is actually by His mercy that He does not let you know it.”
Y tu? What do you think of humility, self-awareness, and self-consciousness and how they play together?
When we notice how we are being humble, or sacrificing for one thing or another, I think that could be a form of pride. It’s in the unaware, subconscious moments we don’t notice when it’s truly God working through us, and we’re allowing him to by getting out of the way.
Comments
26 responses to “Self-Consciousness and Pride”
Well, Jesus humbled himself to wash the disciples’ feet, and he was very aware of who he was.
I’m not sure that self-consciousness and self-awareness are the right words to use, I think what the author is trying to say is that when you are PROUD of the fact that you’re being humble, you cease to be humble. You can be humble and know what you’re doing – but when your attitude becomes self-centered and “look at me!”, then you’re heading toward hubris.
I see hubris and humility at two ends of the spectrum. Hubris is a sense of self-importance to the end that you think you’re invincible; humility can have that same sense of self-importance, but with the knowledge that anything can happen and no one is invincible.
.-= Rachel @ the science of music´s last blog ..scratch-n-sniff =-.
I added this into the original post later, but I think it fits a little with what you’re saying –
“Yet you will never be able to measure fully what God will do through you if you have a right-standing relationship with Jesus Christ…it is actually by His mercy that He does not let you know it.“ (Chambers)
When we notice how we are being humble, or sacrificing for one thing or another, I think that could be a form of pride. It’s in the unaware, subconscious moments we don’t notice when it’s truly God working through us, and we’re allowing him to by getting out of the way.
I agree with the quote, “One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time.”
Humility captures communion – where we’re “at one” with something outside ourselves. The moment we move our focus back to ourselves, we break that communion.
As humans, we live in the tension that exists between our desire to be God and the reality that we’re not. The beauty in this is that humility is a choice, not a state of being. It’s something we can practice every moment.
And like anything that has to be practiced, it’s hard, frustrating work that brings healthy doses of failure. So we can/must/should lean on God, which brings us back to humility.
.-= Keith Jennings´s last blog ..Seashells- beads and time =-.
Beautifully stated.
That is an interesting tweet, Anne. I think I’m on board with you, but I’m not completely sure. It reminds me, though, of a favorite quote from C. S. Lewis:
“True humility dispenses with modesty.”
Modesty seems similar to a kind of self-aware humility.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
.-= bondChristian´s last blog ..Is &8220ownership&8221 keeping you from serving =-.
I completely agree that when we consider how humble we are we are on the verge of falling back into pride. Humility is not something we ever fully attain.
More and more God has been showing me what is pride in my life. It is stuff that I daily repent of and ask for His help in walking in humility. I often fail.
I grew up with an understanding of humility as “having an attitude of moderate or low importance, significance, or status. Being modest, docile, submissive; not arrogant or proud.” As I have learned more about how humility is defined in scripture I have had to reshape that definition.
In Numbers 12:3, after those closest to Moses (Miriam and Aaron) criticize him and ask questions about their role and identity, their value. Then it states that Moses was the most humble person on earth. It is believed that Moses is the author of Numbers, which means he wrote those words. My old definition of humility caused great conflict with this scripture because how could he declare he was humble and be humble at the same time.
Through scripture, humility is better defined as having a right attitude and image of self; being authentic about who we are. So to say, “One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time,” again leaves me in conflict with what I see in scripture. What I see in scripture is that we are humble when we are so assured of our self and our identity in Christ that we no longer are concerned about who we are, but we are focused on the Lord. The moment we stop focusing on the Lord and think of our self, then I am not sure we are humble. Although, this still leaves me wondering how Moses could write about himself because he would have had to be self aware to say that.
I guess I am still trying to figure out the definition of humility……..
.-= Sherie´s last blog ..Do you justify =-.
Walking on Water is one of my favorite books.
.-= Jeff Goins´s last blog ..Three Reasons to Go to Haiti Now =-.
This is a very interesting concept and one I’d not considered. I certainly don’t understand receiving negative comments for tweeting it though. I find it odd what people get all hot and bothered over. So what is humility, what is hubris? As someone mentioned, Jesus “humbled” himself by washing the disciples feet and this was a conscious act. Perhaps it is the attitude behind what we do that can truly be counted as humility or pride?
.-= Kristine McGuire´s last blog ..The Imperfect Quest for Perfection =-.
Letters to a Young Poet is one of the most influential books in my life…came across it in 2001 before I moved to Guatemala and clung to his paragraph on asking questions and one day living into the answers….love his writing.
Rhett
This was my favorite line: Humility is throwing oneself away in complete concentration on something or someone else.
If you have your whole self focused on worshiping God, whether through creating: writing, painting, playing music, etc, or through parenting, or through your job then you don’t have any consciousness left over to recognize how humble you are being.
If you are focused on God, striving to follow the example of Christ and listening to the Holy Spirit, our very small spheres of awareness should be full. As humans I think we quickly and easily fail at total focus on God, and so become self-conscious: hubris.
I believe Christ could be not aware of his own humility because He was fully human and fully focused on worshiping God by washing the feet of his disciples. However because Jesus Christ is also God, he would be able to recognize the humility in himself, in a way similar to the way God the Father recognizes humility in us.
I get where you’re coming from Anne. Thank you for posting this idea and sparking this discussion. It was a new concept for me & got me thinking. Thanks!
.-= Jen C´s last blog ..What matters is =-.
In his book THE GLORIOUS PURSUIT, Gary Thomas quotes Kreeft: “Humility is thinking less about yourself, not think less of yourself.” He makes the point (related to your post) that humility is “self-forgetfulness” especially in regard to both low self-esteem and pride (even in our good works), which are both examples of not seeing ourselves correctly.
Thomas continues with this:
“When people try to prove themselves by their gifts instead of serving people with their gifts, they shrink their lives. They become incapable of taking equal enjoyment and delight in the accomplishments of others. They don’t want to be a good or faithful singer, pastor, preacher, parent, entrepreneur, or Christian, they want to be the best. So they cringe when others do well. Life becomes a competition. Humility is the inner attitude and discipline that sets us free from this self-obsessed bias.”
.-= Felicity´s last blog ..Just One Thing =-.
I think I’m in full agreement…
As the old quote goes, “Humility Is Not Thinking Less About Yourself, But Rather Thinking About Yourself Less.”
When I fully engage myself into the love and promises of Christ, I can’t help but be transformed to be like him. He said that when I “seek first the Kingdom of God”, everything else would be taken care of.
Therefore, operating out of my strengths, creativity, or personality should merely be a reflection, natural bi-product of His nature IN ME. I yield my nature, pride, ego, view, and opinion to his.
He then is given the opportunity to show Himself through me and I don’t have to worry about it. It’s natural and effortless.
I choose to stay focused on Him.
.-= Angus Nelson´s last blog ..One Step Back- Two Steps Forward =-.
This is something I need to chew on for a bit, Anne. I’ve not thought of the concept this way.
But so far I like how it’s tasting.
Thanks, Anne.
.-= Josh´s last blog ..Want to Truly Worship Know This First =-.
Short and sweet…. you hit the nail on the head! Thank you!
I’ve actually heard this before, and both agree and disagree. It all depends on how you define self-consciousness. True spiritual humility would seem to require accurate and Biblical consciousness of self. Granted, there are moments in which we will not be actively thinking about it, but those moments are born out of a practice and discipline of accurate self-awareness that leads to humility. That kind of humility isn’t inherent or unstudied. It’s actually being so aware of our humiliation in light of God’s grace that we act in that grace without having to actively reason it anymore. In that sense, we are humble without being self-conscious, but only because we have assimilated our awareness of self, and not because we are ignorant of it.
I’m not sure, but I think I might be one of the criticizers that you refer to.
Though I don’t know if I think it’s TRULY possible to become unaware of one’s self–it seems to be one of those ideas that is nice to think about but not humanly possible–my response to you on Twitter wasn’t critiquing the quote.
I just thought it was an ironic quote to Tweet about, since Tweeting or blogging is complete awareness of one’s self.
I didn’t mean any harm by what I said.
Best of luck on the rest of your trip.
In The Great Divorce, An artist is told that in heaven, he (the artist) could create the most magnificent painting ever executed, and regard it with the same astonished wonder and gratitude that would be his if another had made it. No arrogance. No jealousy. No ownership.
On the rare, but beautiful, occasions when I have written something that matters, something that connects deeply to others, I have found myself in much the same position. I look at the words on the page, and I am certain that they are not mine. There are things there I simply did not know to say. They are gift, to me and to those who will read them.
When I make myself the “center of the universe”, I can only see, in every act of creation or service, how others will perceive me or my actions, my gifts. And in that moment, truth and beauty are polluted by my lust for praise, my need to be somebody.
Truth: In this tiny comment, I found myself wrestling with this. The word “illustrative” had presented itself to me in an early sentence. It is such a clean, precise word that, even when I realized it was just clutter and actually obscured things, I clung to it fiercely. Arrgh!
.-= Shelia´s last blog ..Wildly Sacred =-.
is there a difference between self awareness and self consciousness? i think some sort of consciousness of who we are, what we say and do and why, is good.
and introspection, chambers has a lot to say about that as a form of pride. is this bad in any form or just to an extreme?
My understanding of humility is that it is seeing oneself in proper relation to God. When we consider that we would not exist were it not for His creative power, that we would be condemned were it not for the price He paid, and that we would have nothing of eternal worth to offer were it not for His work in and through our lives, we cannot be proud.
Of course, it is equally true that we are beloved and cherished children just ’cause that’s who God made us to be.
I agree that reveling in our own goodness is a definite indicator that we are lacking in humility, but I think self-centeredness is the enemy, not self-consciousness. We are called on to continually assess the state of our hearts, and intentionally practice humility (Eph 4:2, Php 2:3, Col 3:12, 1Pet 5:5). I do not believe God commands us to do things we cannot possibly be aware of accomplishing. Paul also says of himself that he was “serving the Lord with all humility” (Acts 20:19).
Just my two cents–sorry if I got long-winded! :)
.-= Crystal´s last blog ..Why Ireland =-.
I stopped reading after that exact quote (“One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time”) to copy it down for myself because it rings true.
Although I was thinking of being aware of oneself in terms of thinking you have yourself all figured out – your motivations, your desires, your responses. You know everything there is to know about yourself so why should you listen to anyone else or be willing to admit you might be wrong = pride.
But I like the other dimensions of this quote/truth as well.
Shelia, you quoted from my all time favorite book! The Great Divorce is amazing fiction that is packed with truth and wisdom.
Lewis wrote on of the best treatments of the subject of pride in his book Mere Christianity, here is part of it..
We must not think Pride is something God forbids because He is offended at it, or that Humility is something He demands as due to His own dignity – as if God Himself was proud. He is not in the least worried about His dignity. The point is, He wants you to know Him: wants to give you Himself. And He and you are two things of such a kind that if you really get into any kind of touch with Him you will, in fact, be humble – delightedly humble, feeling the infinite relief of having for once got rid of all the silly nonsense about your own dignity which has made you restless and unhappy all your life. He is trying to make you humble in order to make this moment possible: trying to take off a lot of silly, ugly, fancy-dress in which we have all got ourselves up and are strutting about like the little idiots we are. I wish I had got a bit further with humiyself: if I had, I could probably tell you more about the relief, the comfort, of taking the fancy-dress off – getting rid of the false self, with all its ‘Look at me’ and ‘Aren’t I a good boy?’ and all its posing and posturing. To get even near it, even for a moment, is like a drink of cold water to a man in a desert.
Anne,
I’ve put Evangelicals on the Canterbury Trail on my list to read now. Thanks for mentioning it. Largely because of Madeleine L’Engle’s books I have become increasingly interested in the Anglican/Episcopal church and the book sounds so interesting. I’ve also come to realize that most of my favorite authors are of the Anglican/Episcopal tradition. I find that fascinating, having grown up in the Evangelical church. I hope that you blog about your transition. I would be so interested to hear what you have to say on the subject.
.-= Cora´s last blog ..Cain and Abel =-.
Anne,
I really like these words regarding humility. I like what she suggests. Humility and self-consciousness seem to contradict one another. In particular, I needed to hear that there is a certain kind of timidity that is actually a form of pride. Well said.
Thanks.
.-= Jim Martin´s last blog ..New to This Blog =-.
Anne,
I really like these words regarding humility. I like what she suggests. Humility and self-consciousness seem to contradict one another. In particular, I needed to hear that there is a certain kind of timidity that is actually a form of pride. Well said.
Thanks.
Anne,
Just found your site via Rachel Held Evans. So glad to do so. I am loving reading what you have to say.
I so love Madeleine L’Engle. She is inspiration for so much I attempt to carry out with my life. I have purchased/given away Walking On Water more times than I can count. I hope you found great joy in its reading and Circle of Quiet. If you like poetry, her Irrational Season, a tribute to Christmastide, left me breathless.
Thank you for the encouragement and challenge that you share. I look forward to much more.
Kim