We spent last night in Santo Domingo and left at 5:30 am to head out to Port-Au-Prince, where we’re staying for the next four nights. It was a long, bumpy, funny drive — full of conversations you can expect from nine guys and a girl.
On the way in, we made several stops, including one where I met this charming young fellow.
Once we got through the Haitian Border (it looks like a one lane road with a metal gate, nothing like I had imagined) that’s when the roller coaster began.
We haven’t gone too far into the city, so we haven’t seen much damage yet. Even so, I was completely shocked at the lack of aid heading into the city. We saw one UNICEF camp and one UN truck actually inside Haiti. The rest of the time, we saw Haitians trying to put their lives back together. I heard reports a few weeks ago about the traffic, and there were hardly any cars on the road.
It was so much quieter and emptier than I thought it would be.
We met Pastor Prophet and his wife, and they shared about the thousands of people that took refuge on their property. They were one of the only places that were open. In spite of the death and chaos they experienced, they radiated joy.
We then went in their clinic, which was mostly empty today. One woman was there however, with her husband. She told us her story.
She was in her house when the earthquake struck, alone with her two twin 17 month old boys. The tremors hit, and her house collapsed directly on her. She tried to save her children, but they were crushed. One, she said, was broken in three parts. The other passed away shortly, and she had to literally “toss them away” from her, because their bodies were crushing her chest and she couldn’t breathe.
Her husband had gone by the house, but seeing it flat, assumed his family (including this woman’s sister) was dead and didn’t see her. Praying to Jesus, she was found, and rescued with some significant leg injuries.
She told us this story very stoically, and her husband sat behind her silently. We asked her more questions, and asked to pray with her. In the middle of our prayers (being translated into French), her husband started shaking violently and mumbling French I couldn’t understand. Finally, he began yelling, “Why, Jesus?” over and over and over again, loudly…
Why, Jesus?
Why, Jesus?
Mourning…
Grieving…
Why?
Tears and sweat streamed down my face, my heart groaning with his desperation. It was a time of no words. Simply grieving.
—
We continued on to meet with fifty Haitian pastors to hear some of their stories and determine their needs. The first pastor who shared with us was young, twenty-six.
He told us how his wife had died.
The next pastor who spoke, his wife was miraculously saved.
—
I think I’ve said this on every international trip, but there is so much contrast, this time between hope and despair. It was a long day that felt like three or four, so I am really looking forward to spending some time with more people in PAP tomorrow and attempting to wrap my head around this strange and tragic event. My brain (if you couldn’t tell by the disjointed blog post) is just a little fuzzy right now.
It’s bed time, and because I really have no way to end in a proper manner, so I will leave you with this…knowing redemption is in all we see, whether overtly sorrowful, or beautifully full of light.
Comments
31 responses to “Rollercoaster (Why, Jesus?)”
Wow. I can’t imagine what the couple who lost their twin 17 month old boys. My daughter is 17 months old, and thinking of her like that makes me want to die, so I can only imagine what they’re going through.
I’ll be praying for you, the team, and the people in Haiti, Anne, may God bless your work, and may you be a light for God to the people there.
this post wasn’t disjointed at all. but full of a mind and heart in process. thank you for sharing on behalf of these people. i love you and am continuing to pray for the remainder of this trip.
.-= Crystal Renaud?s last blog ..?No, I am Single.? =-.
thank you. praying for you, and your team, for so much, for Haiti.
.-= Lisa?s last blog ..Slight Improvements =-.
thanks for keeping us updated. praying for you all.
So proud of you for being obedient, for being there, for comforting these precious people. Praying, Anne.
Wow is all I can say. Thank you for sharing. I’ll be keeping you and your team in my prayers.
Karen
Wow, Anne. Thank you so much for posting all of these stories and questions, and also for the beautiful song Rudy sang for us. You’re right … the joy is apparent. I found myself wanting to hear him sing another song … and then another … and then tell me his story of his life.
Praying for you and those you encounter. xoxo
.-= Christianne?s last blog ..Why This Space? =-.
Thanks for the post Anne. Praying for the team.
Anne, I’ve never has as strong a reaction to any post, by anyone, on any blog, as the one I just had to this one. And my response to that is prayer, prayer, and more prayer. As I prayed, this is what the Lord was whispering in my ear:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. THE LORD IS NEAR. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. AND THE PEACE OF GOD, WHICH TRANSCENDS ALL UNDERSTANDING, WILL GUARD YOUR HEARTS AND YOUR MINDS IN CHRIST JESUS. Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. AND THE GOD OF PEACE WILL BE WITH YOU.” (Philippians 4:4-9, NIV)
.-= Sarah Salter?s last blog ..Finding Hope in the Adventure =-.
This story really impacted me.
From where I sit it is hard to imagine the pain that the people of Haiti are feeling but you helped to open my heart a bit wider to their pain through sharing your experience Anne.
“Why Jesus?”
I have no answer.
All I can do is mourn with these people and pray for a different future – one full of hope and no more tears.
I always stand amazed at the joy of people who seem to have so little. Their Source of Joy is deep within – I stand completely humbled.
Praying for your trip Anne.
.-= esther?s last blog ..love stinks =-.
The magnitude of this disaster is beyond my imagination,but thank you for making it personal for your readers. My mind is attempting to understand the emotional and spiritual state of the people. It seems incomprehensible.
I am praying for you.
The “Why?–because there is a force of evil on this earth and it seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). The “What”–on the cross, Jesus Christ destroyed the one who has the power of death (Hebrews 2:14). The “How”–through God’s absolute love (perfect, complete, and real), we have the power to overcome and defeat the kingdom of evil. We need to get to work in our prayer closets and by loving our neighbors as ourselves.
Keep God’s absolute love front and center as you continue on your journey and remember Isaiah 25:6-8. That hope is what keeps us going.
.-= patriciazell?s last blog ..#29 BECOMING A SON OF GOD: THE BAPTISM OF THE HOLY SPIRIT (1) =-.
Words don’t do much justice here. Simply powerful.
You did a wonderful job writing this (not fuzzy at all). Thank you for being brave (there is a difference between brave and not scared)and for your compassion that you are so willing to share with those who need to experience it and also those who need to witness it. You are an inspiration. Praying for you, your team, the others working there and the Haitian people as they are restored.
Anne, I truly have no words. Rudy was amazing. He brought joy and sorrow to my heart at the same moment. We are continuing to pray for you and love you.
.-= Harold?s last blog ..Emmanuela’s Story =-.
I’m glad you are able to be there. Thank you so much for the reports, God is using you!
“Why, Jesus?:” so powerful, yet feels so inadequate. We quote Scriptures like “In this world you shall have tribulation” but it doesn’t penetrate how devastating that tribulation can truly be.
And we sing songs like “This world is not my home; I’m just a-passing through; my treasure is laid up somewhere beyone the blue.” We sing it in fun; tritely; we don’t often stop to think what it really means. This week you’re seeing it.
After David Kuo’s Uganda trip, we watched him struggle with the impact of seeing what he called “horrific suffering,” and read his struggles to keep his faith intact. We don’t doubt that that will be a struggle for you too. All we can say is, we will keep on praying for you. And blessings on you for going.
keep running, moving and crashing into humanity. you can always see this approach in the Bible and (love) the fact you are there.
marinate every moment so others can see what you experience. cheers to you and your life of collision.
Thanks for the update…praying like a mad-fool.
.-= Josh?s last blog ..Friday?s Quote of Note =-.
Those are some powerful stories.
We woke up this morning with a phone call from a friend. A son and younger brother had a brain tumor and was given a month to live. We were all believing for healing, but it didn’t come how we wanted. He passed away in the night.
“Why, Jesus?” is such a universal cry.
.-= Lex?s last blog ..Friday Faves =-.
This is one of those times when I just don’t know what to say. In the face of such unspeakable, raw grief the only response is silently grieve and pray with them. My heart breaks for these people. Why Jesus, indeed.
.-= Kristine McGuire?s last blog ..Coming Soon from Big Fish Ministries =-.
To me, this post wasn’t disjointed at all, Anne. If it comes off dis-jointed to other’s, it should-You are in a dis-jointed country; full of dis-jointed people… God is not disjointed. Cling to Him; if you are too tired, too weak…Rest assure in knowing that He has you and “the boy’s” in His Grip.
love you
.-= Reese?s last blog ..Dear ME: Get thee behind me =-.
Beautifully heart-wrenching post. Praying for God to continue to give you stories & the strength to deal with their weight.
There is never a right answer to that question. Nothing you can say to comfort. “simply grieving” indeed.
If you get the chance, Anne, while you’re in Port-au-Prince, talk to Seige (pronounced “Serge”) Poteau, pastor of Calvary Chapel, PAP. My old church sent him out to start that church; he left a good engineering job here on the Space Coast of Florida to do this. I’ve already heard from he & his wife through Facebook; both are OK, though the church building is unsound, and I’m not sure about their home.
This is a major tragedy, and the fact that it goes on while too many of us here in the US cannot or will not continue to help in whatever way we can is sad. The fact that it goes on while aid is being blocked for so many reasons is sad. Even scarier, though, is that stuff like this is just going to get worse as we approach the End Times … even if they’re hundreds or thousands of years away.
You remain in my prayers, dear Anne.
.-= Joe Sewell?s last blog ..Scared for Nothing! =-.
So glad you’re there and able to communicate with the rest of us. I’m so glad there’s not only despair, but also hope. Unexpected, but true to Christ.
Hi Anne – This is Pete’s son, Bill. I’ve been tracking your progress to Haiti with my dad. If I could have gone with you to Haiti, I would have. After seeing the pics that you posted I felt motivated, but helpless. So I have a favor to ask: for those of us (like me) that are stuck here in the U.S. that can do nothing but pray, tell us what to pray for the Haitians and for you. Keep taking and posting pictures. Be as descriptive about things as you can, even if it means being graphic. Take us there.
Incredible stuff. Keep sharing these stories, Anne. Thanks for responding to God’s call and being our eyes and ears in Haiti… and thanks for being the voices of those we would not otherwise hear.
THe outcome of this natural disaster has really taken its toll on the people. That is so nice of you to go visit there to see what is going on there. Being in the US I can only imagine the pain and suffering, and wish I could be there to help. My thoughts are with them. :)
.-= Kelly?s last blog ..How to Take Action Photography =-.