The poverty of Haiti is not new to me.
I’ve blogged about it before and even given up money I was going to spend on a tattoo to help some friends adopt from there. I gaveĀ up Starbucks for a year to help deworm children.
Even though I’ve never been, it’s a place that’s always been on my heart.
I can’t imagine what a 7.0 earthquake feels like. I was in a tiny earthquake in California a few years ago, but it only shook my hangers and rattled the walls a bit. Before I even knew what it was, it was over.
Today, I’ve been getting emails and tweets and text messages from people I know that are in Haiti, or that have a friend in Haiti. I’ve been hearing assessments on damage and body counts in the tens of thousands from various sources (none official). It’s on the news and the radio and the internet.
One would think that someone who just wrote a pretty bold post on Christians and poverty merely two days ago would be running around selling all her possessions, booking a trip into Port-Au-Prince and donating every last penny out of our bank accounts to help.
But I’m not.
I’ve been in a state of overwhelming numbness.
The numbness is something I talk about when I speak about poverty…that when something seems hopeless we simply shut down because we don’t have the capacity to process what tens of thousands of people dead look like. We can’t process what it would be to pass by a family crushed to death on the side of the road. We can’t process an entire city’s infrastructure is demolished. The safest places, like hospitals and orphanages are collapsed on those who had nothing left to hold on to.
It’s left me so broken I’m just awfully numb.
I even bought Starbucks on my way to Whole Foods to pick up dinner. That makes me feel weird. Kind of.
A few minutes ago, I opened my inbox for the first time in several hours and I was surprised by the amount of people who wanted to know where to give money, or how they could help.
What? I thought everybody knew.
But that’s not the case.
Something that is obvious is that Haiti needs our financial resources right now. Because I believe in the work of Compassion International, you can donate to their disaster relief fund here and give to very specific needs.
I have no words to give you. No words of hope right now, or even “God has a plan for this.” I just don’t. I’m not mad at God. I’m not…anything.
And I have a feeling I’m not the only one who is confused, and hurt, and upset, and broken, and…lost…beyond words.
Comments
43 responses to “Just Another Post about Haiti”
Hey girl. I understand friend. My heart was knit with the people of Haiti when I taught some Haitian pastors this past year and one of the pastors held my hand and said “Remember the church in Haiti”. I’ve cried countless tears in the past 24 hours. I talked via fb to one of the pastors and my relief was great. He asked for one thing “Please pray for us.”
.-= Jan Owen?s last blog ..Come Alongside the Brokenhearted =-.
I gotta say that I can totally relate.
Other than what you mentioned above… what confuses, frustrates and bothers me to the point that I just cannot process… is the fact that I just got home from my work day. I work in a church office. I didn’t hear a single person even mention the word “Haiti” today.
Not even in general conversation or “water cooler chatter”, much less looking into ways to get involved or show some manner of support.
That says a lot to me about the heart & culture of this particular church. I think it may be time to move on.
I know what you mean, lady. I’ve noticed that I’m avoiding talking about it, although I’m glued to the news. It’s tragic, but I’m at a total loss for words.
Pitched in with Compassion, though. Thanks for the link.
.-= Lex?s last blog ..Observe the Sabbath and Keep It Holy =-.
May I recommend an organization where you can also give some money?
Baptist World Aid Rescue24 International Search and Rescue Team, which is in the frontline of rapid deployable disaster search and rescue corps: http://english.baptistasegely.hu/node/428
Sure I’m a bit patriotic about this, because the international team is coordinated by the Hungarian Baptist Aid, and I’m Hungarian too, so I’m quite proud of them, but please forgive me for that.
.-= berciXcore?s last blog ..Hitr?l ?s tudom?nyr?l =-.
My beautiful and precious sponsor child Yanique lives outside of Port-Au-Prince. I have walked with her for 6 years and nothing prepared my heart for the deep sadness I have felt since I heard the news. I know many others are in the ramme place right now. Haiti is all I have been thinking about. Thank you for speaking to the pain that so many of up are feeling right now…
Praying for Yanique today.
.-= Rachel H. Evans?s last blog ..We already failed Haiti =-.
I’m the same way… I read something about a 7.0 earthquake yesterday and said, ‘oh wow another earthquake’…and moved right along to the next article. All the news coverage today has knocked some of the cobwebs off and now that I’m seeing photos, and hearing stories and it’s finally starting to sink in.
It’s hard to imagine what it’s like, having never been thru it myself. Just wanted to let you know that if not for your tweet about giving to C.I. I probably wouldn’t have donated anything. But I did, and now I’m telling other people about their fund as well, so you planted a seed that’s growing. And it’s helping, probably not as much as we’d all like, but probably more than we realize.
It is too abstract. There are very real faces of very real people on the news, but the sum of the tragedy and devastation and suffering is just too abstract. I’ve never traveled to a foreign country or given a great deal of thought or energy or money to overseas mission work. I can’t fathom this. I will donate what I can, whether to Compassion or the Red Cross or wherever, but it is so hard for me to feel like my few dollars could make any real impact….
My hearts aches for Haiti.
It was over 30 years ago that I had the opportunity to visit Haiti. My three high school friends and I booked a Caribbean cruise to celebrate graduating high school. The cruise had many excursions that were suggested we go on when in Haiti, it was an unsafe port to venture out on your own.
Being 18 we decided to risk it and walk to Port au Prince.
The sights and smells have never left my memory. When I saw the Presidental Palace lying in ruins I can see many of the sites I visited in the city, many look very familar.
My prayers, my tears and my support go out to a people that were instrumental on softening my heart. I have always prayed that I would be able to return. I pray that Haiti gets the help they need as they rebuild not just their buildings but as they rebuild their lives.
.-= Rick Ellis?s last blog .. =-.
All day long today I have been thinking about this. How so many people are hurting. Dying. Add on top of that my grandmother suddenly passed away yesterday and you have me just in an overwhealming state of complete numbness.
And I’ve been repeating the words to the Tenth Avenue North song all day long…
“One tear in the driving rain. One voice in the sea of pain. Could the maker of the stars, hear the sound of my breaking heart? One life, that’s all I am. Right now I can barely stand. If you’re everything you say you are, would you come close and hold my heart?”
I’m at a retreat in Michigan right now for a grad program in spiritual formation. We spent time tonight in prayer for Haiti. As we prayed, a continuous stream of images from Haiti was playing on the overhead screen. I stared at those pictures and tears slipped down my face.
I couldn’t stop crying. Pretty soon, I couldn’t stop weeping.
“Where are you, Jesus?” was my continual prayer. Then, “Have mercy, Jesus.”
But more than anything, I can’t process why God would allow this to happen. I have been working in the area of nonviolence for a little while now, and I’m beginning to learn how to love my enemies.
But when the only person responsible for this devastation is the God who could have kept it from happening, the same God I know is merciful and loves all human beings, I have no answers. I don’t know what to say, except to ask God over and over, “Why?”
.-= Christianne?s last blog ..Interiorities: "You’re Valuable" =-.
The devastation is real. The pain and sorrow is, too. But, just as real is God’s absolute love–be assured that God has nothing to do with the evil that has befallen Haiti. I am praying for the day that the human race wakes up to the vastness of God’s love and learns how to take what Christ accomplished on the cross to wipe out every visage of evil on this earth. We have an enemy who is out to destroy our world, but we also have a Father and a big brother who worked out a plan to enable us to completely overcome evil. Let’s seek God’s knowledge, understanding, and wisdom with everything we have and pray that Isaiah 25:6-8 becomes reality in our world.
.-= patriciazell?s last blog ..#26 UNDERSTANDING CHRIST: OUTCOMES OF THE CROSS =-.
Watching the videos and seeing pics – one thing keeps standing out. For every one person helping, there are several milling and simply watching.
I couldn’t understand it at first, then realized I would be numb and milling also. Not able to mobilize. Grief and shock paralyzing.
It made me appreciate great leaders who put their emotions aside and LEAD, direct, put the plan into action.
God – raise up men to mobilize the available living hands.
Anne, I married into Haiti. My wife’s side of the family is half Haitian, a very robust and proud bunch. I’ve been baptized into this beautiful and rich culture. Fortunately, all of them are now in the states. However, my father-in-law runs a charter school in South Florida for Haitian children and therefore, stays very close to the happenings of the country he so loves.
In April 2008, all of us, as a family, visited Haiti for two weeks. I’ve been on nine mission trips and this one was by far, the most difficult. There was simply too much need to make a dent in only two weeks. Needless to say, the current video and photos being revealed have moved me to tears.
This people group has endured so much for so very long… I’m crying now.
So much adversity… when will it stop?
.-= Angus Nelson?s last blog ..A Little Help From My Friends =-.
It’s a hard thing. I just got a phone call from my aunt telling me my cousin (who is a Marine and just got back from overseas 3 weeks ago) has to leave tomorrow with his unit to go to Haiti for three months. Our family just got to where we could breathe easy, but now he’s leaving again. And we know it will change him, maybe more than the war he just fought in. He’ll be seeing it all, digging out the dead. I don’t know how a person could even handle that. He’s 20 years old. And he’ll come back with the age of a thousand lifetimes.
.-= Lauren?s last blog ..Always Tomorrow =-.
That’s so true. Just know Lauren, some of the staff at my church specifically prayed for those who will be aiding in rescue and recovery. For their hearts and minds to hold up under so much strain. So know that your cousin is being prayed for!
Thanks for the prayers Carrie!
Yeah, thanks Carrie. And pass on a thanks to the staff at your church as well. : )
.-= Lauren?s last blog ..Untitled No.3 =-.
It is overwhelming, but there are so many people helping in ways you’d never expect. One of my grad school classmates works for the UN mission in Port-au-Prince; our classes mobilized last night to track down the info her brother needed to find out that she’s okay. This morning a Christian NGO that helps Haitian refugees and children in the Dominican Republic asked for cash to buy supplies for the van they’re sending in tomorrow. They had $14,000 cash-in-hand by dinner time. Most Americans seem to be listening to the experts who point out that giving cash to reputable organizations is by far the best way to help.
I don’t believe that most evil and suffering are part of God’s grand plan. But I do believe that God works and moves in spite of the horrors that sometimes surround innocent people. And I believe that we have a part to play in helping to redeem, reconcile, and resurrect things that are not as they should be.
.-= Laura @ Texas in Africa?s last blog ..haiti quake =-.
Understand that numb feeling.
As a dominican (who lives in the DR) I am confused. In our news are the images & videos of the crude reality of the situation. The deaths are being ESTIMATED to be around 100,000. And all I keep wondering is “why them?” The DR is richer, the DR is right beside them. Why them? Part of me wishes MY own nation were the one going through this… we can take it better than they can. Being so close makes me realize how limited I am. Again I am reminded that what they really NEED is prayer. Pray for the people, their recovery (physical and emotional), but more important is that God may touch their hearts through all this.
We have been told that by now (11:30pm) all NGOs & aid have called it a day. All that Haitians are left with are the cries and the despair in a “cold” night.
PRAY.
This morning during my radio programme I spoke to Edouard Lassegue from Compassion about the devastation in Haiti.
Edouard is Compassion?s Vice President, Latin America and Caribbean Region.
The tragedy has struck very close to home for Edouard who is Haitian and was once the Compassion Country Director for Compassion in Haiti. He has family and friends in the country and his heart is breaking with the current tragic situation.
I’ve posted the interview on my blog if you’d like to hear what he has to say.
http://rodneyolsen.net/2010/01/update-on-haiti-from-compassion.html
Today I’ve been feeling really convicted by the fact that these neighbors of ours have been living in this kind of poverty for so long…and I’ve never done anything about it. I just can’t help but wonder if things would be different today if we had poured this much love and resources into Haiti BEFORE the earthquake hit. Would the infrastructure have been stronger? Would the houses have been sturdier? Would food and medicine have been more readily available?
This has been such a terrible reminder to me to take a second look at the things I have to see if maybe I could live with less and give more.
.-= Rachel H. Evans?s last blog ..We already failed Haiti =-.
I’ve had that same numb feeling. I feel numb and helpless. I wish I was in a financial position to give something, but even giving something wouldn’t get rid of this overwhelming feeling of guilt I have. I feel so guilty because something terrible has happened in the world, and I can’t do anything except watch the news coverage and pray.
.-= Charlotte?s last blog ..Team Conan 4eva! =-.
Nothing Really Profound to say; no answers…but I join y’all in leaning into Him. He is in the midst of the rubble. HE is holding Haiti in the palm of his hand. and, He welcomed each person “home”, with open arm’s that this disaster stole-They do not feel the sting of poverty or injustice, anymore. Amen.
Besides praying for the citizen’s; I am praying for the rescue worker’s, the medical personnel, and the journalist. Lord help them to lean into you, as well.
Amen.
and, I am praying for you Anne, and everyone else as you pray.
Amen.
Another organization I recommend that is already on the ground and well established in Haiti is Partners in Health. It was started in the 1980’s by Dr. Paul Farmer and has made a huge impact on healthcare in Haiti. If anyone has read Tracy Kidder’s book Mountains Beyond Mountains you know what I’m talking about.
http://pih.org/inforesources/news/Haiti_Earthquake.html
yea. you’re not the only one. it makes me feel physically sick.
.-= Gemma?s last blog ..Australia = Largest Houses in the World? =-.
I’ve been reading articles and looking through the images of Haiti. What a mess. It is overwhelming and heart breaking. Haiti undoubtedly needs our prayers and support.
In the same time it takes you to add a comment here, you could donate $2, $5, $10 to Compassion (or another organization). It may seem like so little to us, but your dollars could be buying a needed bottle of water that will save someone’s life. That makes a DIFFERENCE. Your donations small or large make a difference. Who knows the work that God will do through that one life you helped save?
This is a big problem, but we have a bigger God. Let’s pray, give and not lose hope.
Exactly. Matt 25 – whatever you do to ONE of the least of these you do TO me (says Jesus). Just one. That’s all he asks.
Be the Change You want to see in the World. Not biblical. Not a word of an Apostle. But I think it applies here. It is practical and sometimes practical is what we need to get us from point A to point B.
I have been working with the Chadasha Foundation out of Knoxville,TN for a few months. We were working on getting them a website and a place where folks could give online donations. As you might have guessed, that project just sky rocketed with importance.
I covet the prayers of readers from fellow Flowerdusters:
1.The Executive Director Chris is on his way down this morning.
2.The small clinic built on the border of Haiti and the DR has already been sent 1,800 traumatized patients.
3.More friends are going down next week.
4.I’ve been told to make the website happen and get it up and running. I’ve never done website or photo design before.
As I get the website up this weekend, (I hope)I’ll come back and post more information. I am afraid to admit this, in some ways, but to be honest I am almost excited to see what God is going to do for the people of Haiti. It feels crushing – the hopelessness and poverty. I’m trying to busy myself with helping and keep faithing in the God who allows all things.
I hope I can hold it all together and be a source of help and chance. I hope this might encourage some who may be struggling. I hope mind blowing transformation happens for the people of Haiti. I hope God is glorified more completely in this situation than any other.
Praise God from who all blessings flow.
A fellow struggler,
Aaron
Praying for you and all you serve with.
Right there with you, want to jump on a plane and go be with my friends and their orphange, at one of them every one is alive, the other there is no word. I cry and pray, then repeat the process. Jesus please just come and give comfort, give peace, give hope.
For the longest time, I would see events like this happening, and like a lot of us, would just shrug my shoulders and basically say “Well, I guess that’s just another bad thing happening in a bad world. I hope Jesus comes back soon.”
I’ve changed a lot since then. Today, my heart is breaking for these people. I wish there were something I could do physically to help these people. But I will do what I can do, however little it may be.
To me, the truth is that Jesus is already here, living his life through his people, and we his people need to let that life, that love, come out through us.
I hate the attitude that some Christians have that don’t see the value in trying to make the world a better place, since “Jesus is coming back soon, let’s just try to hold on…”. In my mind, that is totally in opposition to the example that he gave us when he walked the earth Himself.
.-= dubdynomite?s last blog ..Help Haiti =-.
Great post, certainly a message that needs to get out there!
I think this is something that we need to share with others, this concern for getting out there and doing something. One thing that the Internet has done (and TV before it)is create a form of global village where we can know whats going on like this. Sadly, it also makes it easy to look away- to close the browser, or flick the channel and never respond, never care.
Getting the word out that as Christians we ought to love others in word AND deed.
.-= A Life Rooted?s last blog ..On Pat Roberton, Haiti, and Walking in Love =-.
http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/
Here is a site I found that is giving out real on-site info, for now, as Diesel is running out which runs the generators. This is a more personal look than what TV is offering, if you want….
Thanks for this post. I feel the same way. I have no idea what to say or do, other than pray. And it’s hard to pray because I don’t know what to pray for. I feel bad when I pray for the people I know to live and to be found amongst the rubble but at the same time, there are thousands who won’t live and that breaks my heart. And I too felt a little strange, going to starbucks today or even working today when so many are suffering.
We (husband and I) were planning to travel to Haiti next month for our first mission trip there and are waiting to hear what our next steps will be. Even while the typhoid shot in my arm still hurts, I am wondering if we’ll even be able to go and how we’ll be able to help. But mostly…I am just heartbroken for the people there and trying to pray.
Thanks Anne for posting this, and for everyone who commented.
Honestly, I was not moved by what happened – it seemed my heart should be broken, but it wasn’t – this post, and all the comments left behind drew me closer to Haiti and penetrated my heart more than any other source.
THANK YOU!
.-= Suraj Reddy?s last blog ..Haiti ? Did you feel that? =-.