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When I was younger,
nineteen or so
and needed to be rescued
I stopped by the liquor store?on Green Oaks
and bought a small bottle of vodka.
they never carded me.
I’d continue down the curvy road
down to the place where people parked their boats
and I’d hide my car, and walk down to the dock.
Like a buoy, the dock would raise up, raise down
with each roll of the lake from the night to the shore
and I’d walk to the end, where I’d lay flat on my back
in the silence and with the stars
letting the vodka warm me
as I continued to bob up and down
with the lake and the dock.
I suppose I hoped that my rescuer would find me
and hear?the quiet screaming of my heart:
alone! afraid! lost!
and he would simply sit next to me
his hand on my knee or my arm or my face
and with his presence I’d know that
in the end, when I’d sober up and leave
that everything would at least be a little bit okay.
For a couple years I did this
even when I moved two hours away
I found my way to the dock several times
waiting to be rescued
and looking to the stars for hope.
A decade past, there are still moments
when I want to lay on my back on the dock
a thousand miles away
although now, I know my rescuer is
and was and has always been
Yet the stars still bring me hope
and with them I’m reminded
I am not alone, even in times
when the loneliness is loud
Because we all seek out the star
that guides us to our rescue;
captivating us with a holy
gravitational force.
Comments
28 responses to “The Dock & The Rescue”
Beautiful.
Timely.
Since in 2 days we celebrate the day our Beloved boldly crossed into enemy territory to rescue His Beloved – Us.
Exactly. ;)
And thank you.
I think I’ve told you before… yes? I’m partial to poetry.
In this one, my favorite phrase is…
“I stopped by the liquor store on Green Oaks
and bought a small bottle of vodka.
they never carded me.”
Very nice image of loneliness. A loneliness no one seemed to question.
.-= L.L. Barkat?s last blog ..The Good Questioner =-.
Thanks…I appreciate you searching beyond the words.
Also, my favorite line. Such a picture of uncaringness (I’m not sure that was a word until now). It reminds me of that phrase, “If you think no one cares, try missing a few house payments.”
It seems those times do come when people stop caring even for selfish reasons. That’s when the isolation really sets in and the trust must really begin.
Thanks for posting this,
-Marshall Jones Jr.
.-= bondChristian?s last blog ..How to start somone’s love =-.
Thanks for your words Anne. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Good thoughts Anne. Sometimes it is easy to forget that people feel this way…no matter the age. We forget that life weighs down people of all ages, all sizes, all shapes, and all colors, all vocations, all everything. Thanks for sharing your heart. Pray you and hubby will have a fantastic Christ-filled Christmas and a new year filled with so many blessings you are blown away.
.-= Bill (cycleguy)?s last blog ..Christmas Message in Music =-.
Wow, Anne. The timing of this is amazing to me. I just turned 18, and with that was one year and three months into a new life. Like you I’ve really struggled with depression, and I’ve tried too many wrong things to get rid of it. Always praying for a rescuer, but still somehow finding hope in the stars.
Thank you for being so honest. That’s why I love reading your stuff. I’ve seen the difference it can make in someone’s life. I really hope to get better at it.
And, there are so many lonely people in the world just waiting for that special someone who will really care about them. Even though I have been walking since 1969, several years ago I was struggling so much that I actually asked God if there wasn’t some earthly person who would really understand enough to help. Of course, that person didn’t exist, and I learned again that God truly is the One who knows me best and helps me most. Out of times like that one, God’s absolute love has carried me through and enabled me to overcome things that would destroy my life.
May the joy of the celebration of Christ’s birth fill you and your hubs lives both now and in the future. God loves you and His love is absolute–perfect, complete, and real!
.-= patriciazell?s last blog ..#23 UNDERSTANDING CHRIST: HIS WALK ON EARTH =-.
Beautiful imagery and meaning behind the words.
Merry Christmas!
Cyndi
.-= Cyndi?s last blog ..Manger =-.
beautiful…totally transported me back to the times I would sit on the dock praying, questioning, asking, and wondering. i love the last line: captivating us with a holy
gravitational force
totally on my mind lately about holiness and what it means especially after hearing the song “what do I know of holy” by addison road.
.-= Katy?s last blog ..Soaking It In =-.
This right here is why my prayer is “Lord, please help me to really mean it when I ask someone “How are you?”…daily, sometimes hourly this is my prayer. Instead of running off to my next appointment/errand….I hang around for the answer to my question.
Hug an unlovable this Christmas Season—Lonely is everywhere. You just might have to excuse yourself, and then look.
.-= Reese?s last blog ..The 411: battle plan and team =-.
I needed to read this today. God rescued me from my own self-destruction. And now I am waiting for the Rescuer to rescue a family member. Your words were a reminder that when the middle-of-the-night phone call came that perhaps it was the Rescuer calling. Sometimes what looks very bad – is very good.
Nice!
What is it about humans that we like to know we are not alone? This poem is about looking for that assurance and that’s why I like it because it reminds me that I’m not alone in “looking to the stars for hope” at times.
Powerful. And I NEVER read poetry!
.-= Michael Hyatt?s last blog ..Why I Have Decided to Take My Blog Down =-.
Never? Really?
Hmmm. Poetry puts soul into business.
… thanks for helping us see life’s struggles and victories through the beautiful, contemplative lens of poetry …
I love the poem! It is so artistically done! Thanks for sharing. This is what every man should read in the morning to make us realize on what to do for the whole day.
You have a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I could picture you Anne, then and now. The dock, the lake, the stars, the yearning. This was beautifully written.
Praise Him He found you.
Have a Blessed Christmas.
amy
Love these little expressions, Anne. So powerful. The free crap is getting all the comments, like seagulls to a trash heap, but this is the real treasure. =)
really? you seriously did this? throughout my life I never imagined you as the person who would get sloshed. be lucky I don’t start drinking, jeez i’d be in the hospital within a week or so =)
however i’ve always been against it, even when people at work invite me out, i’m just like ‘I dont’ drink’ and leave it at that
have fun reading my next book. :) lots of secrets you didn’t know about will emerge.
I keep coming back to your beautiful poem–especially the last line-
captivating us with a holy
gravitational force-i am praying for rescue….again. thanks for sharing
thank you. praying for you today. as some friends say, “rescue is possible” :)
I like this a lot.
Poems are so good at capturing moments. And sometimes, most times, moments make good titles for life-chapters.
.-= Jennifer Gerhardt?s last blog ..Eve and I at Chuck-E-Cheese?s :)This is right before she… =-.
a little story for you… Last night my “bestie” and I came to the conclusion that my current ‘funk’ is quite possibly another bout of depression. I was treated for depression 7 years ago and “beat it”. I have been hesitant to treat these current, identical symptoms because because I hate feeling and admitting I’ve “relapsed”.
I called the dr this morning to set up an appointment and then checked my favorite blogs. Ryan had listed a bunch of cool blogs to check out on ‘this is reverb’. That is how I found you. (I picked you first cause I liked the name, and it said books in his description :) I’ve spent the last hour reading through your struggles and while I am sorry that you must battle these demons, I praise God that you have the courage to write about them. I see that depression is a battle that ebs and flows, and it’s ok…
We can always use a little Godly confirmation that we are taking right steps… and that is what I found from you today. Thank you, and God Bless!
thanks for your sweet comment — and i hope you find some respite!