I’m staying at a hotel where they have a duck ceremony twice a day. It’s pretty posh, at least by Arkansas standards (I kid, I kid.) It is a really lovely place to stay.
Tonight after dinner, my friend and I stood underneath a well-lit driveway with large columns and doormen, waiting for the valet to bring my rental car so we could head back to the conference we are speaking at. The valet attendant closed my door, and I adjusted the seat to fit my ridiculously abnormal 34″-inseam-long-legs.
I’m not even 5’5″, so this leg length could easily be considered a freak show by some.
I began to pull out of the driveway slowly, narrowly missing a man who was walking on the left side of my car. As I pushed on the brake pedal, I noticed he was homeless, glassy-eyed, and had literally wet himself, the dark stain of urine soaking through his thread-bare pants from his crotch all the way down to the middle of his right shin.
Quickly I shifted my eyes back to the driveway, then glanced down at the green LED lights telling me it was 7:02 pm and that I needed to hurry back to the venue. I took my foot off the brake and under the lights, we drove away.
The one word that has reverberated inside the folds of my brain tonight is dignity.
Dignity.
It’s something we feel we must hold so tightly to, and also something we don’t know how to give to others who need it, whether they realize it or not.
Comments
26 responses to “And Under the Lights, We Drove Away”
This is good, Anne. Sometimes wisdom on how to live out Gospel is lost on me.
.-= Amber@theRunaMuck?s last blog ..just this day, a Rock Home Companion =-.
Wow. I had to stop and think, “CAN we give away dignity. And if so, HOW?”
And maybe, just maybe, The Still, Small Voice (as opposed to all the other voices in my head) gave me a piece of the answer.
If we cooperate with God’s work in us long enough, the Holy Spirit may be able to get us to the point where we realize our only TRUE dignity comes from who we are in Christ.
Then, when we are used to help others gain Jesus–in whatever large or small way–we help them find and receive dignity, we don’t give it.
In the end, it’s the only dignity that matters, the only dignity truly worth possessing.
Am I allowed to enter back in already this morning?
Jim’s comment just makes me think of naked Jesus on the cross, how he took on indignity. Makes me cry.
.-= Amber@theRunaMuck?s last blog ..on being famous =-.
powerful
.-= anne jackson?s last blog ..And Under the Lights, We Drove Away =-.
wow wow wow!!!
.-= Lauren Kelly?s last blog ..The rest of the weekend pictures!! =-.
Between this and your talk at Dirt this morning you’ve rocked me hard.
.-= Jason?s last blog ..Learning patience (and not that cool GnR song) =-.
Just a thought…in my experience you can’t give anyone dignity, but assist in giving them the tools and encouragement to possess dignity. In working with people you always have to meet them where they are to find out where they want to go.
You said it.
We need to meet people where they’re at. As the church it is our job to move people from where they are to where God has called them to be. (just some wise words I once heard)
.-= Graham?s last blog ..Young Leaders =-.
But do we actually move people?
.-= anne jackson?s last blog ..And Under the Lights, We Drove Away =-.
I’m pretty sure that is the same hotel that I briefly saw on the show about the family with all the kids. (I just realized how exactly common-place that TV plot-line is right now. I was referring to the Duggars I think.) Anyway, the big honor bestowed on the family was to be the grand marshal of the duck processional.
Very thought provoking…my mind always wanders to the place of wondering what that person’s life was like before they ended up where they are. Were they loved…where they wanted, did they have dreams?
.-= Jana?s last blog ..I Love the Beach =-.
First of all, the Arkansas remark was uncalled for. The peabody is an awesome hotel where all the awesome people stay, and us Arkansans love it. True story.
Also, this same thing has been on my heart here of late. I find it difficult sometimes to give myself to other people, especially people who are really in need. I see them on the side of the road and I think to myself.
“they could get a job, they are just lazy”
“they probably just want drug money”
“they did it to themselves”
etc
but then I wonder what Jesus would say if he was in the car with me, would he want to stop and do all he could for them? Would he want me to reach out to them in Christ and love them like Jesus loved us?
The Answer is YES
Jesus reached out to all the unloved ones that no one else would touch and all throughout the scripture he talks about caring for those in need.
The question is, is how did the Christian church fall so far away from that?
It seems as though we only help those we WANT to help, not those who desperately need it.
Don’t get me wrong, the church does help people, but what about the Body of Christ?
Are we living as Christ to the world?
Great comment…and I kid about the Arkansas thing. Sorry…:)
.-= anne jackson?s last blog ..And Under the Lights, We Drove Away =-.
i think what cjcarr meant was that arkansas is uncalled for, not your remark.
seriously, thank you for apologizing for your highly offensive arkansas comment and giving that state back it’s lame duck dignity.
(sorry, the issue was just too silly to just let lie.)
I volunteered a lot in a nursing home…and the hardest part was sitting with elderly people who once were so full of dignity to no longer have that. Needing others to wipe their noses, push them in wheel chairs…and even change their diapers.
Most days i wish i could give it back to people…because at some point they did have it.
.-= Lynse Leanne?s last blog ..i drank the?.coffee? =-.
Dignity is both earned and bestowed. Perhaps we in the church should imporve our ability to bestow dignity to others. We tend to wait until someone has earned it, at least in our opinion.
I wonder if it starts first with those in our circle of influence, or those who are the farthest away – like the man you observed at the hotel. Do I really think about helping to bestow dignity to my wife, my family and friends?
I’m convinced that Jesus would have found a way to bestow dignity to that man, but he might not have done it in the way we might think.
Dignity begins with an “invitation”. Jesus invites us – how we extend an invitation is the beginning of ensuring others obtain dignity. “An invitation is the means by which hospitality and an opportunity to engage are created….www.peterblock.com.
I sympathize with your 34″ inseam, Anne. I have freakishly long arms that all but scrape the ground when I walk through the office. I’m not sure what the duck thing is about, but I don’t get to spend much time in Arkansas.
The dignity issue is delicate. Much of the time, I define dignity by what I find personally acceptable. It’s hard to look at a man who has wet himself because we mentally put ourselves in that place and feel shame or embarrassment for him. The humiliation that I would feel in that situation, I immediately assign to him; but I’m not sure that’s fair to either of us.
I have a nephew who has the most rock solid self-image that I have ever seen. He is not concerned about his weight, his hair, or whether or not the girl he likes thinks he’s cute. He knows he’s cute, so he doesn’t much care what anybody else thinks.
Nicholas was born with Down’s Syndrome. He nearly died several times before his second birthday and he wore diapers until he was almost eight. He’s supposed to wear glasses and 2 hearing aids, but more often than not they are found either under the couch or at the bottom of his orange juice cup. The school and medical systems have classified him in the 99th percentile, meaning that in a room of 100 kids his age with Down’s Syndrome, 99 of them will function better than he does.
I have learned more about love and dignity from Nicholas than I have from anyone else in the world. I believe that people with disabilities (whether physical, cognitive or social) are put here specifically to help us to get well; to show us what our disabilities or prejudices are so that God can heal us.
I don’t know if we can grant people dignity, but when we reach out to ‘the least of these’ I think we can magnify God and allow Him to bring that which we can’t…hope, healing and salvation.
Great post, Anne. Real food for thought.
.-= Donna Frank?s last blog ..What’s your story? =-.
and sometimes the memory of the silent scream drowns out the reality of the song altogether.
Dignity – when we stop needing to be the giver who always bestows the gift upon the undeserving, and when we start to be friends.
Check out this video sent to me by a friend about some photographers giving some dignity.
http://bit.ly/VJMT7//
.-= Amber?s last blog ..Mercy Rising – "One Thing" Inspire Challenge =-.
Indeed. I just started reading Robert Lupton’s “Compassion, Justice, and the Christian Life” and this is so in line with his thoughts.
.-= drc?s last blog ..i paint unoriginal things =-.
anne…. this is a great post… ahm… let me ask you…what is your passion and what drives you to travel around the world and help people in need and what is your faith?? God bless you more…
.-= orville barba?s last blog ..Weirdo??? Me??? Ok.. =-.
i see now… you are under compassion with wes stafford… great… i’ve seen his video and i cried inside the when i heard his story…. anne.. may you continue to serve God more with all your heart, mind and soul..
.-= orville barba?s last blog ..Weirdo??? Me??? Ok.. =-.
I think you’re right about giving dignity–maybe it could be said, giving in a dignifying way. What I want to do is empower the people I give to. I don’t think I’m doing that when I put $20 in their hand at a stoplight. I want to give the “needy” something that will lead to a better life. Unfortunately, I’m not always sure what that is.
You know. The junk in my life has really made me realize that me and that homeless guy you described are just a couple of bad decisions away from being roommates.
The thing I think a lot of people forget is that it isn’t our job to figure out what the guy is going to do with the money, food, etc. that you give him should you feel led to do so. Our job is to listen to what is placed on our hearts in the moment. If God lays on your heart to give him a buck or two, do it. Sometimes, I feel led to just make eye contact and smile.
My life is a story of getting caught up in how others view you, getting lost in it, and almost losing everything in the process. And I have sworn to do everything in my power to make sure that never, ever happens again.
Anne, I missed this post when it first came out a week or so ago. Very, very good. I like the way you end this brief but powerful story, reminding us all of what we hold on to and what others need for us to give. Dignity. Thanks.
.-= Jim Martin?s last blog ..41 Things Married People Ought to Know (Part 3) =-.