I’m happily in isolation on an island that can only be reached by seaplane or ferry. During this week away, I’ve asked several friends to fill in for me this week. Hopefully you’ll meet some new voices of people I admire.
Today?s post comes from Josiah Potter. I’ve never actually met Josiah in person, but over the last few months, he’s been a huge cheerleader (is it okay to call a guy a cheerleader?), encourager, and a darn good songwriter.
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Blessed are the Peacemakers
It?s no secret that if you work at a church you will get burnt one day.
I?m talking about a deep wounding that is inflicted from someone you look to as either a mentor, elder or spiritual authority.
My dad got burnt by the church.? My wife?s father got burnt by the church.? Anne has been burnt by the church.? I have recently been burnt by the church and I continue to hear heartbreaking stories from pastors around the nation staggering through the same valley.
When people hear these stories they are blown away.? The western church has fallen into a dangerous niche where we elevate certain men and women to sinless standard because they teach from God?s Word on Sunday mornings.
These men and women are filthy sinners just like you and me.? They need Jesus just like you and me.? They are subject to their own sinful nature yet we place them on a pedestal and then are amazed when they fall from it!
The reactionary trend has been to respond to getting burnt by being angry and afraid.? The enemy loves is when we live in fear.? If we surrender to those things we ignore direct commands from Jesus Christ.
God revealed to me last Friday that He wants me to be the peacemaker in my ?burnt situation.?
I don?t want to be the peacemaker.? Everything in me and everyone around me tells me not to darken the door of the church.? Going and making peace scrapes against everything I?ve been taught about being a man, not backing down and the resistance has been bruising my spirit in the way a street-fighter’s fist collides with the pavement after his opponent dodges the attempted blow.
But God told me to be the peacemaker so I will make peace.
I will go to them this week, ask forgiveness for any wrong I have done against them, tell them I forgive them for the wounds they have inflicted and make peace.
This isn?t a prideful attempt to steal glory or even draw sympathy to myself because of my situation.? This is done out of obedience to a Holy God who?s Son taught us to live in peace in a very functional and contagious way.
Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Mark 9:50
“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”
I don?t know how my offering of peace will be received.? I am trusting God to handle that part.? I do know, however, that one day I will stand before Jesus Christ and He will ask me if I made peace with them and I will be able to respond.
Yes.? I did.
What is your story?
Were you burnt?
Did you make peace?
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If you’re currently wrestling through some hurt or trust issues, download Chapter 11 of Mad Church Disease. It is exactly about that. And it’s free.
Comments
21 responses to “Blessed are the Peacemakers”
“Everything in me and everyone around me tells me not to darken the door of the church. Going and making peace scrapes against everything I?ve been taught about being a man, not backing down and the resistance has been bruising my spirit in the way a street-fighter?s fist collides with the pavement after his opponent dodges the attempted blow.”
Yes. Oh yes. I know how that feels, and hoe difficult it is to carry it out when everything inside is screaming that it will be a disaster, and “how DARE they?” is never more than a second away from your lips.
Peacemaking is so hard, but it’s so right.
If I may be so bold to say: Take the step of obedience. You are responsible for being obedient, you are not responsible for the other party’s response. I have personally had to do this twice. 1 time it was received well, 1 time it was not received so well. But, you must do what is right. Leave the rest in God’s hands. Of course, it could only help to have someone praying for you during the actual meeting. The Bride needs unity and love. We will be known by our love…. tough love sometimes…
I am reading a book in seminary right now called “The Peacemaker” by Ken Sande. The book is truly amazing, and is going to be life-changing for me in the way I approach conflict and deal with others. I highly recommend this to everyone.
His Glory is worth it…though at times we think it will kill us…it is always worth it.
Sherri-so true. my prayers are that the obedience will resonate and soften hearts to see the Gospel.
Jeremy-great recommendation! I’ll have to check that out!
Julie-exactly. His Glory is what I’m seeking in all of this as scary as the confrontation is!
9 months ago I realized that He was calling me to do the very same thing. Every fiber of me wanted to do nothing of the kind. It was awkward to say the least, but the pastor I served with and I have moved on and I actually attend church there now. I am not feeling very welcomed as I sit there each week and I would love to be elsewhere but I know clearly He has told me to do this and be there. It is for my benefit as much as anyone else. Roots of bitterness can consume if not dealt with and sometimes He makes us face them head on before He will use us again.
I almost forgot – will be praying for you as you take this difficult but necessary step. I will be worth it not matter how it is received!
Jay-Awesome man! Way to functionally live the Gospel brother! The enemy wants you to feel that awkwardness and tell you lies. Listen to the Holy Spirit and continue to make peace with your presence. Proud of you man!
it will be worth it I meant :)
I’m not a church leader of any shape or form, but I have definitely been burnt by the church, especially my youth pastor, and just wrote about it on my blog a few days ago. (that’s where you’ll find my story: http://lucyshouse.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/faith-stealers/)
I have healed from it, but I still would run the other direction if I saw him coming. Can you just work through it on your own and be in peace after mistreatment? Or do you think you really have to hunt the person down and have that conversation with them in order in order to heal? I feel good about where I am and just letting things be… maybe because it was SO far in the past at this point.
Wow, Josiah. I certain someone’s face popped up when I read your words “.. burnt by the church”.
Then, when you said you would go apologize. I was like, “No way”. Going back to the person who hurt me? I don’t know about that. I do know, however, that God knows when I’m ready to take that step, after I’ve healed up a bit from my scars.
“The reactionary trend has been to respond to getting burnt by being angry and afraid. The enemy loves is when we live in fear. If we surrender to those things we ignore direct commands from Jesus Christ.”
This was shot straight as an arrow into my wounds. For good. God wants me to hand that over to Him right now. And I just did.
Thanks, Bro. May God’s special blessing cover you as you stretch out your hand as a peacemaker and surround you with faithful loved ones as you’re waiting for the hand to receive it.
Thanks, Josiah.
The word burnt makes me think of fire, and my first reaction to fire is to get back and stay back. I love that when Shadrach et al got burnt (literally thrown into the fire), Jesus showed up in the fire with them. I believe He’ll do the same for you.
I tend to be leery of people who don’t have at least a few scars…they show that we’re willing to stay in the battle, even when it gets ugly. I like Jay O’s response; I’ll be praying for you this week too.
Josie,
I think a great first step would be to take down the ‘incriminating evidence’ against the youth pastor who hurt you.
it’s a good thing to know that we are ALL sinners and deserve hell but are saved by the Grace of Jesus Christ. exploiting the sins of your youth pastor won’t bring any ‘peace’ to the situation and in fact might do the opposite.
since you’re not on staff i would take two witnesses (2 Cor 13, 1 Tim 5) and present what has happened to the elders. from there they should handle it properly and with sound wisdom and prayerful appeal to God.
if you are truly at peace then maybe you let it be. i had to go to my staff because 1. God told me so and 2. it was the only way to make peace. sometimes even a letter written and saying you forgive someone can start an amazing healing process.
i would first consult your parents or a spiritual authority and share your story before you take any action. your church community and family will know how to handle it since they are connected to you and the youth pastor.
Bonnie-praise God! when we extend peace to one another we functionally live the Gospel! the kingdom will feel this extension of grace from you!!
Donna-thank you so much!!
Josiah, I love your willingness to follow Christ. You are an example for many of us. I too had a face or 2 pop into my head when reading this. I have generally gritted my teeth and put on my “you didn’t get to me” face, and gone on, and I think I might have fooled people outwardly, but inwardly I’ve had great difficulty letting go of the wounds. Last spring it began to hit me that I have not really accepted my own weaknesses and wounds and brokenness, I fight against it, and in turn, I haven’t allowed others to be the weak, wounded, broken people that they are. I have also not learned to view others (and myself) as loved by an all merciful and forgiving God. I have a long way to go, but I think I need my perspective to change.
Thank you for this post… more than I can say.
Josie – 1Cor. 11:27-30, you shouldn’t partake at The Table with enmity in your heart. It’s not only about your personal “healing” in the fractured relationship, it’s about your standing before God also. Prayin for ya darlin :)
Hi Josiah… I think it is always wise to do what we can to move towards forgiveness and reconcilliation. I’ve worked at several churches where there were serious issues going on that caused all sorts of pain and brokenness. In the midst of that I learned that I needed to be willing to really look at my part in it all and also to be willing to deal with the stuff head on as much as possible, and then be willing to trust God with the ultimate outcome.
With some of the cases, there was amazing restoration. In others, the others involved chose to continue on the path that left so much destruction in their wake. At the end of the day though, I was able to walk away from all those circumstances with love and compassion in my heart for the others and was able to pray for them, realizing that we were all broken and in desperate need of God’s mercy and forgiveness the same as me. Some of them still are living tragic lives, but I know that I can still pray for them and God’s heart for them is still for their relationship to be restored to him.
I’ve found though that for me forgiveness is an ongoing thing. That still sometimes things will trigger that old pain again, and I need to go to God and be honest with Him about the pain or the anger or whatever I feel in my heart. It is so worth it though. I’ve watched so many of my friends be consumed by bitterness. Though it all for me it’s been a lesson of His amazing grace and mercy and our common need. Great blog post!
Linda-thank you so much for the encouragement! i know this will definitely be a process and have been walking through the truth that there has to be a crucifixion before there’s a resurrection but am completely open to God’s timing for this especially! thanks again
-Josiah
It’s amazing the pain people can cause each other in the name of GOD. It seems like we try to hard for something that GOD when has been so kind to give us the entire book of directions … the BIBLE…I struggle with my own perceptions of “ministers, preachers etc.” men or women of the cloth who live one way during the week and a completely different way on Sundays or when the church doors are open..We are all human, with faults and failures, with pain, sadness, trials and tribulations. The common thread binding us all together is the love Jesus Christ offers us and HIS promise of eternal life. GOD has chosen certain people to teach and lead they are responsible in different ways, but we too are responsible for letting HIS light shine thru us in every circumstance. It is HARD to be a believer, it is hard to face trials, but when we face them we will profit from them as long as we give them to HIM to carry. I will continue to struggle with my perceptions of “GOD’s men and women” of the cloth just as others struggle with their perception of my christianity..I will pray for HIS wisdom to make wise choices so others will be lead to HIS light that I hope they see shining in me.
I fear the wrath, judgment and righteousness of the church. I need the small amount of fellowship, the kind words, the prayers that I receive from the Christians I “meet” individually online. I threw myself on the mercy of the Church and learned fear. I can’t go there again. I’ll be what the church needs me to be to get the crumbs that give me some small amount of hope.
Josiah-
Great post. I believe the reason God wants us to make peace is because the harbored feelings of anger, resentment, and unforgiveness ultimately do more damage to US than to others. For a great look at forgiveness and peace, go to Woodland Hills Podcast and download the 8/23 sermon by Rob Bell.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!