Random question time.
Do you think it’s ever okay to be dishonest, or not forthcoming, for the end of a better good?
To protect someone else’s well being?
To save another?
Ever?
Ahhh, “situational ethics.”
I look forward to the conversation this weekend.
Comments
56 responses to “Is it ever okay to lie?”
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor…”
so apparently the answer is no. if you have to lie to cover up the truth… just shut up.
:)
furthermore… those commandments were put in place because God knew we would be faced with touch decisions. so even if a life is at risk, or a reputation, or our own agenda, we must believe that obeying the laws set before us… is what we’re called to do.
I see that commandment and know that it is true. But at the same time…I also remember Corrie ten Boom’s story in the Hiding Place and how her way of absolutely NOT being forthcoming to the Nazis about hiding jews resulted in saving people’s lives and I think God was in that.
I also think about the story of Les Mis–which basically measures the spirit of the law (shown through Jean Val Jean) and the letter of the law (portrayed by Javer). In the end, Jean Val Jean is the one whose heart is closer to God’s, though he did steal a loaf of bread to save the life of his starving nephew…
I have also not been forthcoming when it comes to certain things in order to benefit my neighbor. Specifically, we were playing the hometown of one of my understudies in A CHorus Line ( I am on the national tour)–I called out sick so that her family and friends could see her do the show.
I felt like the means justified the ends and I felt like God was pleased that she got to go on…
Maybe I am wrong. But at the same time, I do not sense God’s displeasure in any of those things.
Jessica?s last blog post..to all the pets I’ve loved before
Yes. There’s a big difference between “bearing false witness against your neighbor” (which I understand as defaming someone’s character and telling lies that have no justification other than avoiding assuming responsibility or causing someone else harm) and lying to save a life, avoid crushing someone’s spirit over something that doesn’t really matter, or to protect information told to you in confidence.
Texas in Africa?s last blog post..turned into a newt
texas in africa – kinda like your blog on newt?
To Jessica – I love that you used Jean Val Jean as an example :) And I’m going to have to agree with you…
Faith?s last blog post..Closing in
Most people who are not forthcoming with me just want me to come to a certain conclusion, and are just manipulating me because of how they predict I will react to whatever information they are withholding.
“Not being forthcoming” is always self-serving, in my experience. I can’t see how that lines up at all with the second greatest commandment.
Of course, I am not a Nazi.
PS, love the iPhone interface your blog has now.
so, what’s with an ethics topic on friday? :)
i say yes, so long as the lie is at some point revealed. not a comfortable answer. i just cannot bring myself to say that there NEVER has been/could be a situation where a lie served a greater good.
bleh…can we just talk about 24 and why Tony turned bad again?
We’re told not to lie, truth is always best, but I often wonder about Rahab lying about not having spies in her home (Joshua 2:4-7). Interesting.
Alastair?s last blog post..What you said about Grace?
I lied when i logged on to your deal the other evening, gave it a “false” nickname. I’m i on my way to hell?
P?s last blog post..Dealing with the Walking Wounded
I don’t think I’ve ever had to lie to save someone’s life. If I ever ran into that situation, I don’t think I’d have too much trouble lying. All my lies are to save face, or my own reputation, or so I don’t get caught, or just plain old convenience. Maybe if I didn’t lie for my own benefit, an occasional whopper for someone else’s might be ok.
Zelig?s last blog post..Teen Translator
Tony, I didn’t say a single thing that wasn’t true regarding the facts. My opinions are just that.
Alastair, I think your point about Rahab is important. There are plenty of Biblical examples, especially in the OT, where lying leads to blessing. Jacob was apparently a first-class liar, but he still ended up being the one who fathered the Israelites.
Texas in Africa?s last blog post..turned into a newt
The answer is found in a misconception, ?You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor?? that is a very spacific act, that is the equal of filling false changes against someone for a crime the did not do. Giving false testimony that you saw someone kill someone when you know they did not do it, but you want to hurt them, get even for something done to you.
Yes, we should be truthful at all time, but we may need to withhold truth for the good of someone. Telling a untruth is only wrong, a sin when it is told for the purpose to hurt or deceive someone. It’s all in the motive behind the act.
Come on girls do you really want the guys to say “Yes it make your butt look big” if so then don’t get made when they tell you the truth. Sometimes people do not even want the truth. They want the guy to lie.
Like lawyers say, Never ask a question you don’t want the answer to.
Not saying Jesus lied but … look at John 7:6-10. He was at the very least sneaky.
KC?s last blog post..CPM Essentials #2 – Broad Seed Sowing
The only problem I’ve seen thus far is people have given examples of people lying in the Bible as a citation for “its okay to lie.”
Just because an event happened, doesn’t mean that God said, “yes, that’s good. do that some more.” The Bible is not always a commentary on what to do, as much as it is often a commentary on what happened. It was pointed out that Jacob lied and still fathered the Israelites (actually that was Abraham). I do plenty of bad things and still God blesses me in area. But Jacob, just like I have to, had to face consequences for his actions, like a strained relationship with his brother. He did father many nations because he lied. God used him despite the fact that he was a sinner.
Rahab lied and people lived. Corrie Ten Boom lied and people lived. Schindler lied and people lived. But just because good things happened does not mean God is okay with lying. God used those events for His glory, but He often uses terrible things to ultimately reveal glory to Himself, because that what He does. But He does not approve of the sinful act in the process.
The issue here is not a misconception of a commandment.
Lying is just wrong whether its in commandment form or not.
The reason it is wrong is not because, “hey that’s not cool.” The reason it is wrong is because it is against an attribute of God. God is truth. Lying is not truth. If lying is not truth then it goes against the character of God. That is why it is wrong.
b/?s last blog post..Believers // are you demonstrating it
correction:
“Jacob ‘didn’t’ father many nations because he lied…”
b/?s last blog post..Believers // are you demonstrating it
@Alastair
Rahab lied, but she was never commanded to lie. The Bible never commended her act of lying. She did however, in time, acknowledge God was the “God over all” and left her pagan lifestyle.
If you look at her at the time, she was living in sin as a prostitute and as one who did not worship God. Culturally, it wouldn’t have been a big deal for her to lie.
This is a great article on Rahab: http://www.apologeticspress.org/articles/535
anne jackson?s last blog post..Is it ever okay to lie?
@jordan – it’s been around a while :)
anne jackson?s last blog post..Is it ever okay to lie?
what do you think would have happened if Rahab and Jacob had not lied? Would God still have been able to accomplish his ends?
Of course, the answer is yes, but we’ll never know, will we?
I look at people in the Bible who faced certain death and didn’t lie…how they were saved, or not.
Daniel.
Shad, Mesc, Abdg….(no, I can’t spell them, not attempting to try!) :)
Jesus.
Were the ends accomplished as meant?
anne jackson?s last blog post..Is it ever okay to lie?
now you’re posing more questions?
Does God not accomplish what he sets out to do?
Does God ever do or accomplish things He doesn’t/didn’t mean to?
b/?s last blog post..Believers // are you demonstrating it
That depends….
I don’t think it’s ok to lie, however I don’t think we need to volunteer info either if the situation is life threatening.
Lying is wrong, morally, ethically, yet no different then any other sin we commit. It’s sin. period.
However when confronted with a life or death situation I would rather die not volunteering info than to rat out someone or tell a lie.
Hard call though. We had this conversation with our daughter and when the rubber hits the road what would any of us truly do. I cold be righteously indignant and say I would not lie, however that in itself could be a lie!
Rick Apperson?s last blog post..5 Questions with Erin Bethea
Perhaps the question is whether there is any difference between lying to protect and lying to deceive. Though inevitably those two lines are blurred as, in order to protect one person, we end up deceiving someone else.
Re: Rahab. This is definitely interesting. And I don’t think it can just be written off either way. I did a study a while back on a biblical case for lying sometimes. I may just hunt down some of my notes and references!
Sorry, this is just to subscribe to comments.
“Why no, dear; those jeans don’t make you look fat. And your hair looks great.”
Two lies told, my life saved. Somehow, I think God’s ok with it.
Thanks for the article link Anne.
Alastair?s last blog post..What you said about Grace?
interesting thoughts.
mine: 1 John 2:21 “…no lie comes from the truth.”
i don’t think that lying is ever permissible, ever.
if it means a destroyed reputation-then maybe that’s God’s plan, if it means death-maybe that’s in God’s plan.
i have no idea what His plan is for everybody, but i think we are incapable of grasping an eternal perspective on a lot of things (especially this issue) that can produce such detrimental results here on this earth, in our society, today.
this might be extremely harsh to some and extremely difficult to hold on to myself, but i believe that God’s plan is perfect, that we are instructed to not lie, that there is a reason for that (whether we can decipher that reason or not i don’t know, but also don’t think is relevant b/c … i believe God’s plan is perfect-even if i don’t/can’t understand it right now)
i don’t believe that God’s guidance and His word will ever contradict each other, but it is an interesting debate anyway – glad you’re back Anne!
Proverbs 6 mentions that God hates lying. It’s never ok with Him. However, he also knows we can’t keep the commandments perfectly, hence Jesus.
We can try to justify lying, but it’s not ok with God. Thankfully His plan is complete enough that we are covered by grace if we accept Christ as our one and only Savior and not rely on some human standard of goodness.
Great question Anne!
Chris?s last blog post..Good Night and God Bless
Gah! I hate this question, because I know what I believe the answer to be: No it is never okay to lie.
But I also know exactly what I do or would do in extraordinary situation: I lie.
It’s wrong, I know. I know who the prince of lies is. I know that God is the only source of the truth.
But I know for a fact that I’d lie to protect someone’s well being or to save another. To be quite honest I’ve lied under much less taxing circumstances.
It’s something I struggle with. I always ask for forgiveness, and I always get it. God is good.
CindyK?s last blog post..Green Data Center
I am not sure if it is okay…I lean towards not okay.
But here is the deal, in Exodus chapter one, the new king of Egypt orders all the male babies to be killed. The midwives fear God more than the new king and they let the babies live. When questioned about this….they lie.
Did they lie to keep up their process of saving babies? Did they lie because they were afraid of the king too, but just not as much? Did they lie because even though they feared God, they did not trust him?
Fearing God prevents some sin and leads to repentance (or at least talking about repentance for the rest of the sins), but truly trusting God prevents sin.
John Carroll?s last blog post..Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors
Great questions Anne! And great conversation through the comments…
Just to drop my two cents…
I think that the Bible is pretty clear that honesty is the desired Christian behavior. I certainly understand the Rahab-factor, but that still doesn’t mean that it is right. Besides, I think that it also illustrates that God can still use sinners because they believe in Him and despite their sins. I don’t think that this should be justification for sinning, but just assurance that God can still use us despite ourselves.
Dan King?s last blog post..flickering pixels by shane hipps
I love all these philosophical, even biblically based answers. lol. Is lying always wrong? Yes. You have to disagree with a very fundamental truth of God’s word to believe otherwise. But……..there is a big difference between not lying and going out of your way to rub the truth in someone’s face and hurt them with it.
Let me dumb it down and West Nashvillize it for you. We won’t even have to use Jean Val Jean as an analogy. I had a pastor friend of mine make a stunning defense of his behavior several years ago. Someone said, “I can’t believe you weren’t honest with that person.” I’ve never forgotten his answer. He said, “Notice, I didn’t lie, I was just economical with the truth.”
Tommy Sircy?s last blog post..What is Cotton Britches Winter?
Is it lying to just change the subject??..
Yes. Rahab. (Joshua 2) And she was counted “righteous” for it. (Hebrews 11:31)
Shaun Groves?s last blog post..Travel Tweets: Iowa, Minnesota
Aside from the scene were Jesus clearly misled his brothers (John 7:2-10)…there’s also the deception that God directed Samuel to play on King Saul so he could anoint David as the new king without Saul finding out (1 Samuel 16:1-3)…and there’s the scene where David lies to the priest in order to get access to the holy showbread (1 Sam 21:1-6), an act which was later cited by Jesus in support of his own disciples’ behavior on the Sabbath (Luke 6:1-5).
I’m not at all saying that these passages prove that lying is okay; I am saying that it’s not a black and white issue in Scripture. I think it’s one of those things that we’re supposed to wrestle with before God.
Michael Warden?s last blog post..The Story of Stuff
Having experienced people lying to me and about me in the past….I have to say no…..let your yes be yes and your no no and if you can’t keep your lips from lies, say nothing!
Rick Apperson?s last blog post..Are We Offended By the Cross?
It is never okay to lie. There is a commandment about it, and becoming elderly these days, I can remember the truth, but always forget lies.
Peace
Marquis
Dave Allen – lol!
When my son was very young, early elementary years, he had just heard one of his teachers give their testimony, which included a life of drug use. While driving with him in the car, out of the blue he asked if I had ever used drugs. Without hesitation or thinking it through, I answered, NO! That was a lie, and the conversation ended. I couldn’t believe I had just lied, but thought it was probably best to wait until he was older to talk about it. He’s 20 now and the question of my drug use has never come up again. If it does, I’ll tell him the truth.
My MIL had Alzheimer’s for many years. We had to lie on occasion to keep her calm. We felt like that was in her best interest. It’s difficult to explain and give examples at the moment, but anyone who has dealt with a person with that disease will probably understand. And I know God did as well.
Brenda?s last blog post..Two For The Price Of One
I heard this expression once. “Everything that is said must be true, but not everything true must be said.” Cheeky, perhaps…but sometimes, less is more. There is always a way to answer that doesn’t involve lying.
No?
Jason?s last blog post..Want to Make Some Changes Together? – Here?s How?
oh if lying was only as simple as not doing it. . . I only wish I could flip that switch. I suck at lying, but I keep doing it to myself everyday. . .
Benji?s last blog post..Hardened Heart
How badly do you really want the truth? Insert Jack Nicholson sneer.
I think that comparing the Schindler or Corrie Ten Boom type of “lying” to the “preservation of self” kind of lying is kind of difficult. They’re just so different. I mean, can we really say that God hates that kind of stuff, the saving of lives, the protection of the innocent if it happens due to a lie? I don’t know. I guess we could say that God hates murder because there’s a commandment about that too… but then what do we do with the crucifixion? Anyway, I would lie to save an innocent life (not that I’ve ever been or will be in that position) so I would say that sometimes lying is alright… maybe even missional and kingdom building. Maybe not though…
Lying to spew hatred is unbecoming. It’s interesting how many ‘christians’ spew hate through their lies covered up as their ‘opinions’.
If someone asks me if I think they’re ugly or fat or both, I’m lying, sorry.
Biblically, no. But I am a liar and a thief in so many ways. I try to justify and I try to make it better but I suck and as a broken sinner in need of a savior – I have to believe that self control will eventually win out. I have to.
kristiapplesauce?s last blog post..South Africa in Panera
A number of comments seem to intimate that “not saying anything” rather than lying is an acceptable alternative. Deception research actually suggests that acts of omission (or dissimulation) can be just as deceitful as acts of comission (or simulation; or, the “traditional lie”). So, sometimes, keeping one’s mouth shut is as much a lie as purposefully creating a false story.
Having said that, I’m frankly not sure what the correct biblical worldview answer is here. Some Bible verses clearly indicate that lying is wrong, but the Bible also highlights the importance of loving one another, being careful of harsh words, etc.
I definitely have lied and will likely lie again. Some of those lies seem perfectly appropriate and not at all sinful to me (maybe they should just by sheer definition). Others have been the opposite. If I think about it, my motivation seems to be the determining factor. WHY I’m lying seems to be important, personally, in determining “okay”-ness. But, does it matter at all what “I” think?!
Yes, there is a commandment about lying. Although, if you look back at what Jesus said (paraphrasing) “I came to fulfill the law because we, the God Head, knew you couldn’t keep it. God loved you so much that in spite of your sin, he wanted a way for you to be able to commune with Him again. That’s why He sent me. So I could pay the price for your sin that you couldn’t pay.”
As far as Jesus being “sneaky” in John 7, he couldn’t go anywhere without a herd of people following him. At one point, he got in a boat to teach because the crowd pressed in on him. Even Jesus, being fully God, experienced the need for quiet time by himself to “just be” with God.
About lying again, do I think it is ok? You can tell people the truth and not be harsh about it – even if it hurts a little. If they are mature about the situation, they may just see that you were telling them the truth because you respect them enough to be honest with them. It’s totally different than me asking my husband if my pants make my butt look big, but then again, my husband would say yes. I’ve got a big booty. At least he’d be honest with me. =) I’d rather have that than him lying to me just to make me feel a little better. I’d rather be grounded.
AuntieB?s last blog post..I’m hanging around…
My wife would rather I lie about her butt. Ha!
Another equally interesting question is whether its ever okay for a church’s leadership to lie to the church members.
This is all in the name of “protecting people”, or preventing “a misunderstanding” from taking place.
I’ve seen this happen numerous times and while its clear that this was done with the best of intentions, the result can become viral. It can create a distrust in the church leadership, a cynicism in the church, and a lack of genuineness among people in the church, because to be “in-authentic” is par for the course.
Major announcements involving significant ministry changes are accompanied by a “wink, wink, nod, nod”. After all, you have to know that we’re not being told the whole story here.
Lies are ultimately a slippery slope. For all the good intentions, the results can be terrible over time.
DB Beem?s last blog post..Why is Good Friday, ?Good??
@DB Beem – Very good point there. Experienced this recently and lost some respect for leadership.
Alastair?s last blog post..Sons Of God
Now I wish I were caught up on my Goo-Reading! This is the question that we talked about in our Junior High Confirmation small groups last Sunday. It would have served me well to have some of these answers.
I came to the conclusion that what we know as “white lies” are typically okay. Like lying to save a life… or lying to make someone feel good.
Q: “Does this make me look fat?”
A: [a resounding] “NO!”
Thanks for the discussion Anne! I’m printing this out and bringing it to my small group this coming weekend… :)
Graham?s last blog post..Technology in 10 Years
I have to agree with the comments about church leadership lying to the members/congregation. At no time should leadership lie to the members/congregation. And it can be in the form of telling an untruth or leaving out some of the truth. It’s all lying and does nothing to help anyone but only causes more lies and dishonors God. Eventually when a pastor lies, it will come out somewhere in the wash and he better be prepared to face up to it. It can also hurt the name of Christ in the eyes of not only the congregation but also the unsaved that are observing. I don’t mind if my pastor lies about my wife being fat (which she isn’t) but nothing else please.
There are different stories or reasons I’ve heard as to why my former pastor terminated me from my position as worship pastor. Some people don’t even know why and some people after three years don’t even know I don’t attend that church anymore. If the pastor had told the truth, people wouldn’t have different stories. Maybe he had a reason to lie to cover up something about himself?????????
This is one I don’t understand:
Q: ?Does this make me look fat??
A: [a resounding] ?NO!?
If it really makes her LOOK fat why would you want her going out in public LOOKING that way?
Q: ?Does this make me look fat??
A: “Honey, you’re not fat, but that makes you LOOK fat.”
I lied again. I wrote on my Mother’s Day card to my Mom that I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have as my mom than her. Well the truth is I can think of a lot of women I wouldv’e rather had or have as my Mom. So I guess I couldv’e said something that really was true instead of that. It just seemed like it was a nice thing to say.
To Tom Snyder on the previous comment. That’s a good one. I never thought of that.
By the way, ever see the commercial where the wife comes into the room and asks her husband if this dress makes me look fat? He’s not paying attention so just responds with what he thinks will make her happy, “you betcha”! I crack up when I see that.