i’ve had the opportunity to meet some amazing people over the last month…some of them have spoken into my life in crazy and unexpected ways.
last night, i had a conversation with a pastor who i really don’t know very well, but i wanted to hear some more of his story. by the end of the phone call, the objective of the call turned around and he had asked me about some of my story…and had me literally weeping as i sat in my car by my house. i was able to share some things with him that i rarely share…and he was able to speak into those things with truth, objectivity and love.
it’s weird, and maybe it shows how messed up i am [how messed up we are?] when it’s easier to share some of the most ugly, painful things with people we don’t know, but we keep those things hidden or tucked away from the people in our everyday lives. i’m not quite sure why that is. or if it’s bad. or good. or neutral.
all i know is i am really glad we never know how god can use someone regardless of how close they may be to us in either proximity or intimacy.
Comments
17 responses to “opening up and closing down”
Absolutely! There are pieces of my own personal story that I have NEVER shared with anyone other than my husband. When someone, regardless of how you know them or even know them at all, is able to allow you to open up and share your heart…and still provide grace and love in those things….you can really see evidence of God’s own grace and mercy.
Hope you are having a wonderful day!
Yes Anne. I think that is why some people do so well in therapy. The strong, hold-it-together people sometimes need someone to talk to because they refuse to burden anyone. due to a strong sense of responsibility. So a person who will not be changed by the news can be such a blessing.
I’m glad you had that time of release.
Great post Anne. Just so you know, you are not alone. I still have skeletons that I am unwilling (scared to death) to share even with those closest to me.
Well I told you my story and cried and I didn’t know you! I do remember that you teared up as well and that touched me in a deep, deep place in my heart. I think sometimes strangers don’t come with the baggage of living with us day by day or even being a part of the story. I remember the first time I told someone outside our church some of what was going on and they looked at me and shook their head and said “That is HORRIBLE!” and I thought, “you are right! I’m not crazy, it is horrible!”. Perhaps others give us a different perspective that we lose as we are in the midst of it. There is also a bit of anonymity in talking to someone across the country that we don’t get sharing with those we actually do life with day by day. And think about it – If I tell YOU I’m struggling with ministry (a struggle I’ve had repeatedly) then you’re not threatened or crazed out by that. **My story doesn’t affect your life**. Perhaps that’s one reason it’s easier to share with those we don’t know.
I’m continuing to pray for healing. As you well know, just when you thought the book was over, God writes another chapter!
Hi A!
Consider this your invite!! Hope you’ll join in with us!
I am looking for as many people as we can find that would like to participate in a bloggy “Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving.” I dreamed this idea up as a way to give thanks to the Lord for His work in each of our lives by sharing our testimonies with the world wide web on Monday, November 24, 2008. That’s the Monday before Thanksgiving guys! Many of you may choose to leave that post up for the entire week and I encourage that. My prayer is that this sharing of our testimonies will not only encourage each other and give Glory to our Lord but also to those who happen upon our blogs.
Here’s how it’ll work:
Set to post to publish on: Monday, November 24, 2008.
In your post title put: “Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving: (Then insert a name for your testimony)” Example: “Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving: Renovations of the Heart”
At the end of your post insert the short paragraph (copy and paste if you want) below with a link to the dedicated blog located at: http://www.themouthbehindthemoose.blogspot.com (It reads THE MOUTH BEHIND THE MOOSE). I have set up this special blog just for the event as a way of directing people to where prayerfully 1000’s of testimonies can be at their fingertips. Here’s the blurb for the end of your post on that day: “Today, many of us bloggers have devoted a special post in which we are “Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving” by sharing our personal testimonies of the Lord’s work in our lives and/or that of our families. Our collective prayer is that this sharing of our testimonies will not only encourage each other and give Glory to our Lord, but also to those who happen upon our blogs. To enjoy many more testimonies like the one you’ve just read please visit the “Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving” blog located HERE. ”
Lastly, be sure you go to the dedicated site and add your blog to the Mr. Linky list so those visiting the site can find your testimony there. When you add yourself to the link be sure to do it like this so if they want to refer people to your testimony they can find it easier. Example: Heather (Renovations of the Heart) or Susan (Breast Cancer) or John (Loss of Parent)
Hope your testimony will be there too!!
Grace & Peace,
Heather Twitchell
Swallowing A Moose
As a leader in the church world, I sometimes found it difficult to disclose parts of me. But when I did, it made me seem more “human”, if you will, to those I was leading and something life-giving usually resulted. What you disclose here in your blogworld I see the same thing happening. Here’s to a little transparency in a really murky world.
hope you know you can share with me… anything. i got some more ugly stuff to show you sometime.
Some of the most intense and healing conversations I’ve ever had have been through instant messenger with people I only know online.
I help run some websites for porn addicts and teens struggling with porn. The internet affords people anonymity to do morbid and evil things. But I have come to realize that it also provides the anonymity needed to take the first step towards opening up and honesty. That which facilitates hurting can also, ironically, facilitate healing.
James says that confessing to each other brings healing. Sometimes, talking to someone that doesn’t have much (any?) relational significance in your life peels away any historic or future judgement which could have the potential to hinder the delivery of the truth within their advice.
peace|dewde
to re-use a phrase; yes. yes. a thousand times yes.
Amen sister! :)
I was discussing this kind of thing on my radio show yesterday morning. I was talking to the principal of a theological college on the deep need we all have to confess those deep stories.
We chatted about the Post Secret website and how sad it is that many people who need to share their hurts can only do so through an anonymous website.
http://rodneyolsen.net/2008/10/post-secret.html
Amen!!!
Anne – last night a great friend in our small group opened up that he and his wife had been separated for 5 months! We knew that there were struggles and that his wife did not want to be apart of a small group, but the extent of his pain was disheartening, I felt like I was a horrible leader and I was letting him down by not providing an atmosphere or environment where he could share his pain and struggles.
Your post reminded me of my own intense struggles to get real with people close to me. And how long it took for me to open up to those closest to me. Thank you for sharing. I am grateful for your honesty and sincerity.
silly rabbit, yer sposed to be lamps to one another. The sad thing is, too often you mirror those closest to you. The further away the mirror, the less flaws you have to live with.
Amen Brother Jimmy.
I agree that it is easier to share the deep, dark, hurting parts of ourselves with strangers or anonymously. I also say that I think it should be the starting point to sharing with those close to us.
As Jimmy said, “The further away the mirror, the less flaws you have to live with.” Meaning that we can choose to go right back to being just the way we were before we shared with a stranger.
This isn’t meant to be condemning. I mean this as a way to encourage us all to perhaps start with the “easier” step of talking to SOMEONE at least. But don’t stop there. Let that be your first step to getting closer to your community and those that love and care for you.
I’ve taken the first steps and begun to share some of the hurt and badness in me with “safe” people. I’m building up to being more open about these things with the people close to me. They love me and I need to trust that.
Thanks for the great post, Anne.
I also think there are people who are just gifted ‘un-corkers’. These people exude a sense of trustable care and empathy. Ever notice that it is usually the same people who tend to be the ones that everyone ‘dumps’ on, again and again?
I think sometimes people in the body of Christ get to have “stand in the gap” brothers and sisters that open our lives to the fullness of what God desires.
Sometimes those people have challenged, other times encouraged me – but most have pointed me to the light with the things i often would rather keep in the darkness.