as you know, i have lived in the south. in texas. the red river kind of south. not the south-south.
in the red river south, we have our own breed of rednecks. but alas, i am learning the south-south has yet another breed of rednecks altogether.
(by the way, i love rednecks. this is by no means an anti-redneck post. the ceiling of my car is coming unglued, i have a gravel driveway, and i shot my first rifle at the tender age of nine, so obviously i am somewhat born of this breed as well).
now, my friend shaun has talked about his redneck neighbor before. and his redneck neighbor even has a blog. one day, i hope to meet redneck neighbor. but until then, i have my own redneck neighbor to deal with, and i have a question to propose to y’all.
here’s the skinny.
my redneck neighbor’s driveway is next to my driveway. i see it when i leave. when i come home. when i go on my deck. when i take out the trash.
my redneck neighbor has a little planter wall. on this planter wall are several cans of budweiser…some askew, some crushed, some full of cigarette butts, and all piled up into a replica of pike’s peak.
[at one point, he had creatively made a budweiser-duct tape-sticks-cigarette butts effigy using a button with obama’s face on it for the head. it was like a little budweiser obama stick figure. which was held up by a rusted folger’s coffee can. this has now disappeared, leaving me a little disappointed.]
i am all about respecting other people’s property, but when his strewn bud cans and cigarette butts are in my line of sight, oh, forty-seven times a day, the OCD in me comes out and desperately wants to clean up this budweiser-duct tape-sticks-cigarette butts mountain the next time i take out the trash.
[using heavy duty yellow rubber gloves and a gallon of purell, of course.]
so my question to you is this…would cleaning up this nasty redneck trash pile be rude of me? or helpful to him? because you see, i of course am only doing this to love my neighbor. right?
ahem. right?
Comments
52 responses to “is this rude?”
Organize a family/friend yard clean up day and walk all around (making sure he sees you). Let him know that you’re doing a “service project” around the neighborhood/street. By happenstance you say, “Want me to get these for you?”
Viola!
Although… I’m still stuck on what a “Budweiser Obama” would look like and challenge you to take a pic and post it ? cuz I wanna laff.
i’d just be worried if you cleaned it up and then RN came looking for Obama-Cigarette man…I mean, what would you do then? Direct him toward the garbage can and tell him to dig for it himself?
maybe he reads your blog and it will be gone tomorrow.
or maybe it will be on your front porch.
Ermmm…. I wouldn’t touch it if I were you. I’m a former Californian who’s lived in redneck land (GA) for 7 years. Based on the behavior of my neighbors on my dirt road, anything in their yard should be considered a lawn ornament. You wouldn’t steal a suburban person’s marble fountain, right?
I almost had a neighbor pull a gun on me when I put a Christmas open house invitation in his mailbox. :) “What’re you doin’ stealin from my mailbox?!!!” He didn’t come to our party either…. (sigh)
On another note: love your blog. I’ve linked to you and look forward to reading the book.
Steph
The Red Clay Diaries
Take pictures and call codes. It is against most city and municipality codes to have uncontained garbage anywhere on residential property. Don’t bother asking them to clean it up. You’re just asking for it, and no one plays authority liek the authorities. Rules are in place to protect you and your property from people that don’t care about you and your property. Don’t let that muscle atrophy.
Yeah I think it would be rude somewhat.
Clearly this art. Minimalist human form, landscapes, the unmistakable underlying themes of despair, and hope…. Why don’t you see if you can get this guy a showing downtown?
You would be performing some free landscape design. And, you know landscape architects aren’t cheap. So you’d be doing him a favor. However, best not to let him know who the decorator is… you know, in the name of humbly serving your neighbor. ;)
You’re so cute!
have you ever talked to him, have any sort of common ground with him? maybe clean up the pile, but leave a new 6-pack of Bud and a package of garbage bags in its place.
I like Matt’s idea. Wrap it around some sort of “servolution” or “adopt-a-block” motif. In all seriousness, this neighbor is part of the mission field.
For some folks, true love is sliding the pile of papers over on the couch before you sit down and not saying a word as you share a good evening together. Hard to say what it is for your neighbor without meeting them, but I imagine you’ve already made meeting them a priority so you might know best.
Personally, I would let a sleeping dog lie for a while. I think given all the response to this point I agree most with Crystal. Rather than judge your neighbor on what he has outside his door, make an effort to introduce yourself (as a new neighbor you have a great opportunity right off the bat).
Make a McCain and a little Sarah Palin with a hunting rifle out of tracts and send him over to talk to the Budweiser Obama.
You have to leave it alone! With his sense of humor (shown by the Obama figure) you may start an all out war if you try to move his “artwork.” I also think the service projects are a bad idea. This RN has fun with his Beer. I would try to befriend him. No strings attatched.
visit him with a bottle of Wild Turkey in hand. Let him finish the bottle then grab Obamabud on your way out the driveway. Place him in the trash. Sleep well Anne, sleep well. I know after a bottle of WT RN neighbor will as well…
Welcome to the Dirty South, Anne. Don’t touch it. That’s art. He’s likely taken Obama to the shooting range for target practice. Do not poke the bear, Anne. Do not poke the bear.
i am personally thinking of putting an obama sign in his yard. you know. to protect his “art” from the elements. :)
uh – don’t – it’s his butt and can :) you Do NOT want to mess with a redneck’s butt and/or can unless you need a date that night (and you don’t)
if it’s gone tomorrow he’ll know the snotty dallasite neighbors did it: if you fake a grand christian service event well, you’re lying
give it a month or two – but he will not clean it up, if it bothered him at all he would have already
2 months, buy gasoline, and torch it – while singing praise songs and lifting your hands to the sky
do this a couple of times and he’ll move away
it worked on my mother-in-law, it’ll work on him
what’s an estrogenathon – and do you market it? avaialble in a bottle or tablet?
geez, i’ll clean it up. all you had to do was ask.
by the way, it’s not viola. its voila. i might be a redneck, but i can spell.
I know not!!! Was that really RN that commented? Too funny, maybe. I was going to say, mmmm… better not touch it anne. Seriously I am from S.C. and you DO NOT touch someone’s yard trash/art. If it has been there for more than a day, then he wants it there and most likely will not take kindly to it being messed with. Just say you were warned:) For real though!
Wait a minute – you “hated” living in Texas? Can you explain that to me?
The only thing I can figure is that you must not be a native Texan.
– Ariel (Texas born, Texas bred)
woah, woah, woah…when did i say i hated living in texas?!!!
i doubt RN commented. i just peeked outside, and the art remains. i think he is gone out of town. although it was someone with a TN ip address. ;)
yeah, it wasn’t really rn. i just couldn’t help making a goofy comment.
mostly, i just had to comment on the incorrect spelling of voila.
-not the redneck neighbor
well, clean neighbor. i appreciate your cleanliness, even though you probably don’t live in my hood. on behalf of neat freaks, i thank you.
volia!
did you really just say volia?
Hey peanut bring me nuther Bud. I think that tall hippie gals walkin this away with a trash bag, what the hell’s that on her hands? Is she wearin gloves? What’s in that gallon jug she’s totin? Reckon what shes plannin on doin wit dem? Hey, HEY!! You put that back missy!!! You see that peanut? She dun run off with my Obama dall I made. I’m a guessin she’s a McCain person. Why can’t folks just leave others property alone, you know how them fancy, city, Republicans are. She comes back over, I’m gonna call the law. Trespassin on folks and stealin, that gal needs Jesus. HEY, where in the hell’s my beer?
That is so wrong…Budweiser? Why would he use foreign beer as planters wall?
all i can say is, i will pray you make the right decision. keep us posted.
These comments are so funny!! Jason and clean/dirty neighbor and you spelling words wrong on purpose. Thanks for the early mornin’ giggles ya’ll.
Heidi
(from Florida which is the south but not considered the south)
Anyway…
This is funny. And if I had a choice, I’d put a Kucinich 08 sign in his yard. I’m surprised GI hasn’t commented on this yet.
Welcome to Nashvegas!
Did Kucinich have enough money in his budget to even have yard signs? What is the exchange rate with the alien currency Kucinich got when he was in their ship?
If his house was painted a horific shade of glow in the dark green would you repaint it?
You could build an even bigger, tackier effigy. With flashing lights. That would be cool.
I think it would be interesting living next to him. I born and raised, and never left LA (my kansas) so it would be interesting! I would LOVE to see a photo of this thing. It’s funny we always had horses and farm animals so no one better stereotype me! haha!
Don’t move it, we need you Anne!
Thanks for the comment Anne….I’m so glad I came today to read about your neighbor! I have a bad neighbor who flips us off, screams profanity, threatens to hit me….all from her being dilussional. Oh the fun! Glad you only have beer status to deal with. Maybe he’s worshipping an idol……hence the statue. :) You could put up a higher fence…..or plant tall trees. :)
@e – yes. absolutely. :)
i am sure this guy is very fabulous. except for the fact he’s republican. :)
Rude. There are bigger problems in the world. then again, we’re usually the neighbor others whisper about.
I really would have liked to see a picture of this Obama sculpture! Help him I say, with cleanliness, art, etc.
I love the fence idea or plant a tall tree that Jennifer mentioned.
Other than that do y’all have a code enforcement dept. that drives around and they surely wouldn’t miss giving him a “warning.”
i think you should take them out with a sling shot or a BB gun…
nope, not rude. but it’s all in the delivery…
i’m just sayin…
why would this bother someone who has wood paneling on her wall…you guys fit…be a good neighbor and LEAVE HIM ALONE. he might open up a can o’ kick butt on you. go have a beer with him and maybe you guys will become good friends. Be glad he doesn’t have goats in his back yard.
BrewHa – that’s my neighbor across the alley. :) I swear there are goats. Or at least dog that looks like one.
and WHAT is wrong with being a republican???? :)
Yes, Anne, you’ve just been introduced to yard art. It is alive and well. Not sure what statement he’s making, but he probably is a tad protective of it so just be friendly and ignore to the best of your ability. Welcome to the South! We are original and proud of it!
# 37. @ ANNE ….. i am sure this guy is very fabulous. except for the fact he?s republican. :)
perfectly fine blog you USED to have before you dump on God’s Political party. I mean – isn’t One TRUE Messiah enough for you??? Gheesh….
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nah-nah
Don’t do it. It’s highly likely he has a 12-gauge in a gun rack by the door, and you have no idea how he’d react to trespassing.
Better to call the city and file a complaint. Trash in the yard usually isn’t allowed.
I can’t believe nobody has suggested you go over there and ask him to teach you to shoot! Surely those are for target practice, and you never know, you might be a crack shot.
You might be a redneck if…
You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
Your house still has the “WIDE LOAD” sign on the back.
You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
You stare at an orange juice container because it says, “CONCENTRATE”.
Privet hedges grow very quickly!!!!!
Not that I’ve been losing sleep for this….
but what’s the latest update?