last week, i had a great phone call with mike foster, one of my deadly viper cohorts and soon-to-be co-conference speaker when we both speak at ministry com in september.
something we talked about was, of course, the conference, and i confessed my continued trepidation of public speaking.
let me rephrase that: my continued trepidation of the expectations of public speaking.
it’s not that i’m just scared of it…i know it’s not where i’m naturally gifted, and i’m fine with that. i love communicating, but i am much more effective doing it via ink and paper.
i never planned on becoming any kind of public speaker. and something that is taking a little getting used to is the sense of being thrust (almost literally) from a shy girl behind this blog into a perceived expert in front of people who communicate verbally weekly for a living.
there is a huge difference between speaking to a few thousand people on a blog and a few thousand people from a stage.
for one, right now, i’m not wearing make up.
now, everybody says it’s the content that really matters…but as a casual observer of conference feedback, if someone doesn’t nail their session in an epitome of engaging perfection, for the most part, people seem to care more about their presentation than their actual content.
(as an example, i wasn’t there, but heard that patrick lencioni was fairly awkward and uncomfortable presenting at catalyst last year. not one person told me what he talked about, only that he seemed really scattered in his delivery. that’s all i ever heard.)
people expect that when you’re a good writer, you’re a good speaker. that when you’re bold and confident in your presentation online, you’re bold and confident in person. so let me be the first to smash the crud out of that expectation, at least for me, and say the gap between the two is huge.
so, what i can promise?
i can promise that i’ve been working hard and praying hard for months over the few speaking engagements i have. i can promise that i’m not going to pretend to be as engaging or as eloquent as pete or craig or seth or the millions of other speakers i admire. i can promise that i am just going to be me. quiet and a little awkward, but positive that i’ll be doing my best.
and sweating. probably a lot.
Comments
21 responses to “confession: spotlight insecurities”
Anne,
I feel very funny commenting on this post because I have never heard you speak nor have I heard many of “biggies” you would probably mention. But from personal experience I would say that I would much rather prefer listening to someone like you who puts her heart, soul and prayers into what she is trying to communicate than the professional speaker who “does it for a living.” There is something to be said for the heart and the struggle involved in prep time than one who has a canned speech. There is something real, i reckon, is what I am trying to say. I would prefer you to be real and have your knees knocking than be fake and stand with all the confidence in the world. Go for it!
Anne: I am not shy in the least little bit, but I would be sweating profusely if on stage in a speaking engagement too. I will say a prayer for you. You’re genuine, girl. That attracts more than you realize. Look at how you have hit the hearts of so many with just your blog. You’ll nail it. Even if you’re not polished perfection. God has you where He wants you. Remember that. Good luck!
Anne, I know what you mean. Sometimes even as a worship leader I feel like what people want is slick, young and incredibly gifted. I am none of those. What we most want is for others to hear our heart and to see God in our story and for it to impact their life in some way. In my opinion, after speaking that day over coffee, that is what you have going for you. Not that you are an expert, but that you have life experience, you have a story. And your experience has made you passionate!!! I will not be there to hear you but I will pray for you to be calm and to hear from God as you prepare and as you speak. You have much to offer just as you are, a shy young woman who is unbelievably wise. Go with God.
Anne, you will do awesome! You’ll be speaking about what you are most passionate about and that passion and conviction with set you apart!
there was this guy once named moses…i don’t think he spoke so well either…but God used him to do some pretty cool things, some pretty BIG things…be real, just like you are in your writing…trust God to take care of the rest…and the sweat, ummm, just wear layers so it doesn’t show!?!
AJ-
Definitely going to be thinking about you over the next couple months as you embark on these speaking engagements. I am confident that you’re going to ‘wow’ everyone with your passion, dedication and belief in that of which you’re speaking about. Remain calm (easier said than done) and don’t dwell on it too much (again easier said than done). I love speaking to large groups, heck I love talking period…but I’ve found that the times that I’ve prepared, and prepped and dwelt on what it is I’m talking about, are the times when I’ve let all that mess get in the way of my conveyance of the message at hand. It’s best to be yourself, which I’m sure you’re good at. :-)
Good luck friend.
I’m not a regular here a FlowerDust.Net. I recently found your blog via Catalyst Space. I’ve been reading the last week or so. I thought I would comment on this particular post by saying (not an expert) but it sounds as though you’re headed in the right direction with your new title as Public Speaker. HONESTY! People do great with Public Speaking when they allow themselves to be themselves. Have fun because Public Speaking can REALLY be FUN.
I fully believe God is gonna work through your submission in all of this :)
AND…I am fairly certain that pete, craig and seth were not eloquent early in their speaking career. it is a gift that gets refined.
have a great day!
I love the way you said you’ll just be YOU. All the things you are…..transparent….so caring and yet bold in your passions. Several years ago I received a degree in Speech Communication and I can still hear Dr. Linda Long my professor say….”When you walk up to the podium, walk with confidence and make no excuses for yourself, but just be your self.” And from that day on I look for smiles of encouragement and support…..don’t get stuck on faces who look like they are staring you down….just be you – you’ll find that you are surrounded by people who have agreed (I call them “spiritual change agents”) to take on roles that support your spiritual evolution. All I can imagine is your winning so many people over because of who you are…..the Anne Jackson who has helped so many of us to feel like the most important human in the world!!!! ….I thank you for that! You’ll do marvelous!
How does the saying go? Just imagine everyone is naked ! Ha! Ha! Ha! Why woud someone ever say that this would relax people..to me this would freak me out more….
On this topic the best advice I ever received was …..”do it afraid!!” God is not rating our performance… if we are WILLING to step out…Afraid or not..He will bless that…regardless of the seat critics!
that all makes sense.
but, in your weakness, He is strong. Luckily for all of us nervous wrecks, if we let go a little and give Him control and priority while doing what we are called to be doing, He’s got it covered…not to say that people who are doing all of that wont sometimes be awkward, but who knows what else came from the fidgity speaker….ya know?
just don’t picture everyone in their skivvies. don’t know who thought that was a good idea! it’s not!
Speak on sista!
you’ll be speaking on something you truly believe in and are passionate about, that alone makes a world of difference! i’ll support you in prayer, but you’ll be great!
maybe you should just talk about “boobies” or title your session “blogs and boobies.” apparently everyone will love that (according to your blog stats). ;)
i digress.
just remember… most of us are like the rest of us.
mostly the audience respects the speaker who is honest with their insecurities on stage versus the one who tries too hard to pretend.
I have no doubt that God will use you in a powerful way.
Anne, it is exactly as Jenni said, when you speak from your passion you speak from your heart and people will hear that. The presentation will be there because the passion will be there. If you were asked to speak on alternative energy solutions I would worry but it is easy to see what makes you tick and it will come through.
?Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.? – JFK
You can do it Anne. One word at a time!
Anne,
You are loved woman. From one shy one to another…. I’ve found that the more I’m open about it the more the audience connects with what I’m saying. You might need to be prepared to not remember what you say of course…
You could always take your make up off on stage while you talk. Yep.. did that before. Talk about the Holy Spirit moving. God sees every single inch of you… He accepts you. And that is more than enough. It is everything. The rest is frosting. He is the cake.
As always… praying.
when it comes to this topic, i think we might be twins. by stepping into a ministry position, i have instantly become a “face” of leadership, which means training talks, speaking to youth, leaders meetings, and not to mention a few messages that ill have to eventually give. I, too, have been “thrust” into the speaking world…and im anything but a smooth talker. give me a mic and ill say “um” more than anyone thinks is humanly possible. :) But somehow God gives us the words right? I guess it just reminds me of John 15..that apart from Him, I am nothing….and by grace alone, I am what i am. Praying for you and your speaking engagements, from one shy awkward girl to another! :)
I think being terrified to speak for God is the begining of being ready to speak for God.
It was said of a well known and often controversial pastor I once sat under…. “If I had the TALENT that Pastor ___________ has I would be absolutely no earthly good for the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.”. That still resonates with me today. I don’t believe God calls talented speakers to speak for him, He calls broken men who are willing to die daily to the flesh to speak for Him. In reality people follow both. Unfortunately many of the examples of “growing” churches are lead by talented, winsome, and people pleasing men and women. You can usually tell this when you hear the majority of people walking away swooning over them instead of the resurected and glorified person of Jesus Christ.
I’m looking for a broken person to speak for God. A voice that cries out in the wilderness. Do yourselves a favor and google PAUL WASHER. I seriously doubt this man will be invited to any mainline pastor’s conferences this year.
He’s just not talented enough.
Here is Paul Washer. I don’t think you’ll be left guaging his talent level….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuabITeO4l8