you are going to a conference.
you decided to attend a breakout session on burnout.
what do you need to hear in those 45 minutes?
stories from survivors? statistics? practical steps? broad things to ponder?
no stupid answers…anything is possible.
what helps you?
Comments
57 responses to “you + 45 minutes + burnout”
*A kind word from my pastor instead of complaints about meaningless things that cannot be changed. (like getting home an hour late from a trip.)
*A “thank-you” from my pastor for huge projects done that are not a part of what my “job description” says.
*How to celebrate joys in specific ministry areas when the pastor blasts everything because “his” area isn’t doing well.
Sorry. A bit of pastor-bashing…..things are not good between my pastor and the youth ministry right now. This is probably not the place to vent, but the above things would keep me from hating going into the office.
practical steps. plus reassurances that i’m not alone and that my burnout doesn’t mean i love Jesus any less.
Help me call to mind the things that I may already know, but forget about with all the day to day.
Give me an environment to drop my guard and permission to acknowledge where I am and how I may be feeling.
Jumpstart the conversation that I may need to have with myself and with God by giving me open ended questions to take and ponder.
Don’t know if that’s what you had in mind. Look forward to hearing what comes together.
BTW… LOVE the new blog design!
relatable stories.
how to handle it.
future prevention.
how to better handle time?
how to encourage yourself?
what to do in the exact moments of inadequacy and pain?
where to search for encouragement from?
what’s next?
what to expect after burnout?
what does it look like on the way out of burnout?
it’s funny that i would respond to this bc i never really have been beaten down enough to say i was burnout. definitely been tired and needed a vacation but not burn-out. and I thank God everyday i work at a church that is encouraging and understands. but i have many ministry friends who are in transition, checked out, or just burned to a crisp. can’t wait for your book to come out, gotta couple friends who need to read it.
I need…
1. to know I’m not alone. (group hug)
2. to hear “It needs to stop” and why. (group cry)
3. Strategies to work smarter and not harder that are intuitive and easily implemented. (group input)
4. Good illustrations of the alternatives (group accountability)
5. A candy bar (I like chocolate).
what I wish I had known: ADMIT you need help There is no sin in that. ASK FOR HELP. Maybe how to live within limits and some spiritual advice on disciplines to help keep my life in balance. Maybe warning signs – we’re all stubborn you know and think it will never happen to us.
**I thought I had to work 70+ hours a week. I thought this was godly. I didn’t recognize the signs until it was almost too late. Then I felt guilty.**
Permission…
…to know that a vacation and a day off is okay.
…to do other things outside of church.
…to place the safeguards in my life to help prevent burnout
Experiences from other leaders….
…to know that I’m not alone.
…to discover what’s worked for them
…who’ve witnessed what happens if we push ourselves too much.
Tips…
…on how to communicate to church and staff about why this is important
…on what the best mind-numbing activities are.
…on how to prevent burnout.
Hope that helps Anne. Thanks for all you do.
I am a former vocational minister that succumbed to burnout and ultimately left the ministry. (wow, that sounded like I’m at an Ministry Burnout Anonymous meeting). If I had attended that seminar, I would want the biblical principles followed by practical life application , and stories of survivors would definitely be a bonus. I would also want to know how separate personal and work life because the tendency is to work 24/7. I think the meshing of the 2 played a major factor in my burnout.
also maybe real life examples of how people changed their schedules, lives, etc to beat it – testimonies give us hope. I remember talking to Nancy Beach and she said “you know you don’t HAVE to work even full time.” Then I talked to someone else and they said “Jan, you need a break.” Strangely enough, none of these alternatives had ever occurred to me. I was so worn out I couldn’t figure out what to do – I couldn’t figure out solutions in my depleted state. I needed loving guidance from those who had gone before.
Prayer is always powerful. To be prayed for would be precious. Burnout is hard to discuss in our churches. To admit it and be prayed for is a great first step.
And of course, as Dan said, Chocolate is always, always good.
First thing is practical steps. That and knowing that I am not alone will help more than anything.
Where is this conference?
no powerpoints.
no slides
no handouts.
Just Anne
What would I need to hear? Um, that it’s important to rest. To have boundaries. To not listen to others judgement. That it’s not about what you do….
I think examples of people who’ve made it through and are still serving God (how he wants them too) and aren’t all bitter and twisted… Actually you probably just sharing your story.
I like Jason’s word Permission. That’s it. Permission to be who you are and serve God how you’re meant to serve Him. And persmission to recover from burnout or avoid burnout how you need to avoid it.
i actually went to the breakout session on burnout at a conference.
there was not a speaker.
there were couches, candles, incense and gift cards for restaurants and bevmo
Permission to stand up for yourself when you need to step down. “I don’t know who will take over this ministry…I just know I can’t do it anymore. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you since I’ve been telling you I’m having a hard time balancing my life.”
That it’s okay to not feel guilty because I need a break. That it’s okay to not be in a ministry at this moment.
When will I know when I’m ready to get back into ministry? I think I’m ready and then bam! I want to walk away from it all.
Not sure if any of that makes sense…
Biblical truth with practical applications and encouragement:
E.g., Truth: making your yes a yes and your no a no
Application: Say no until you count the cost and are willing to commit wholeheartedly — seeing “No” as a divine permission to stay focused on God’s best missional engagement for you
Anything practical. I think maybe a way to figure out why burnout happens. So many times we are serving outside our strengths but we don’t know how to say no. I also think practical ways to take a step back without feeling guilty.
I can tell you that I would NOT want to hear statistics. No matter how many people deal with burnout, their issues aren’t important to me if I’m suffering from it too.
Practical ways to deal with burnout.
The fact that it’s ok to say no.
The fact that it’s ok to find a new job to combat the burnout if that’s God’s will.
how to recognize and help colleagues who are burned out,
The difference between burn out in ministry versus burn out in other areas.
Tips on getting through
Real people who we respect (public figures) who have come out the other side, speaking
a nap
Two related thoughts:
1. The gospel we preach produces the churches we get. (Scot McKnight)
2. The system in place produces the results we get. (Someone Else)
The system in place produces burnout we experience. Someone needs to talk about how the gospel effects the way we do church, and how the way we do church helps us live less like we’re in the business world and more as a family, bearing one another’s burdens. In other words… how to fix the system that creates burnout.
Enjoy figuring that out… I’m still trying to myself.
permission to skip the session and sleep!
stories from survivors. I know all the practical, i apparently didn’t do it. Now i want to know if you really can survive it!
I believe a talk about of all things the Serenity Prayer would be fitting.
All of us suffer from struggling working to make things better – sometimes we even place the ministry in front of our own daily walk with God…
But Truthfully – there is only 1 person we can change – and that is ourselves.
While God can use us as a catalyst for change and transformation in someone else – in another ministry – He is the one doing the work…
Perhaps starting with a clip of Kramer and all saying Serenity Now – Serenity Now… (Insanity later) :-)
Everyone has stinkin thinkin … Even us perfect people in ministry …
Stinking thinking? can create believers who are both saved ?and miserable! God transforms us and our minds when we work our own recovery program, finding the serenity that only God?s Spirit provides.
we need to accept the things that we cannot change – to give them over to God and to work with God on the things (mainly us) that we can change.
I know it sounds crazy – but the basic 12 steps would work to help us all recover from our stinkin thinkin – that thinkin that causes burn out…
Glenn Kelley : Pastor http://www.UNBOXEDChurch.com and Blogger: http://www.ChurchMedic.com
One last thing…
Get out the pillows and have a pillow fight !
Learn a constructive way to get out the frustration and aggravation that fuels stinkin thinkin
Honestly.
“Push your chairs to the side of the room. We are handing you blindfolds. We are handing you sleeping bags. We are turning out the lights. We will wake you up in 40 minutes. Now get some rest and stop going to conferences…”
:)
How to be human beings rather than human doings…. not being driven by guilt (inward and outward expectations) to “do ministry”, rather learning to breathe the freedom of grace and beauty. The difference between expectations and demands. And the fact that being a leader means saying “no” sometimes.
And worship. Maybe just one song. But something that points me to Christ.
candles
fluffy pillows
chocolate
my burn out would be almost gone :)
Concentrate on your strengths. God made you to do what He made you to do.
People who do what they are good at barely get burnt out. Strengthsfinder 2.0
Plus… If you want to be spiritual… not our job to save the whole world… God’s job.
That takes some pressure off? :-)
1. How to pray and discern what ministries God has given you at any particular season.
2. How to say “no” to what He hasn’t given you and not feel guilty or mean in doing that.
3. How to continually be raising up others to lead and share the burden, so you aren’t trying to do yourself. (mentorship)
I would like to hear about the signs we should pick up on before we actually get to burnout.
1. I don’t want to hear from a perfect authority – but someone who deals with it themselves.
2. I want to be taught to RECOGNIZE it – wisdom stuff – and the speaker needs to help open my eyes.
3. Teach me how to pull myself back from the brink (and keep me there in “away from brink land” – without making me feel like a dope.
personally i don’t think balance is possible in life without it being tremendously boring. but it is about knowing your rhythms and tendencies and knowing ahead of time how to compensate with a healthy behavior.
I have personally heard pastors say there is no such thing as burnout…the only time someone “burns-out” is when they are doing everything in their own power and not through the power of God. That may be true in some cases, but I disagree with the premise. The one I heard it from the most used the statement as a means to manipulate people into not taking breaks and not backing out of ministries. This pastor would also tout that ministry was 24/7. Of course since it came from a pastor…it was the Gospel to some people…so…
I believe some people need to hear the very thing they are not hearing. Some are going to be in the middle of burnout and need something to open their eyes or to wake them up because they’ve been deceived to believe they cannot burnout as long as they are serving, but many are serving powerless because they are tired and worn out and they need a break, but they need to know it is ok.
Something to give me hope.
maybe you simply need to be heard… understood… hugged.
hmmm…
I’d like to hear from burned out people. Looking back with 20/20, when had you crossed the point of no return? What were the signs?
I’d like to see a map of the slippery slope and its typical symptoms at each stage. Sort of a mall map where you can identify “you are here.”
For me it would be:
– why are we prone to ponder?
– how can we escape the traps?
– how do I set up accountability?
– ministry breaks are good, right?! why aren’t they encouraged at all levels?
Just a few thoughts.
Can I go to said conference please? All the stuff I would have said was already said…I just like to comment.
I’d just be happy that there was actually a breakout session calling attention to the very real fact that burnout is happening in ministry!
@Nick – believe me, it exists. Yes, some of it was my fault. I did too much for some wrong reasons. BUT, there were some very horrible circumstances that pushed me over the edge. I had to deal with a situation that was tragic. Sometimes life comes at us hard, to quote a commercial for something or another. For me, it was being very ill and dealing with the suicide of our pastor’s wife one year followed by the resignation of our pastor the next.
I tried to be a hero and save my corner of the planet. I failed. It about killed me.
But God is infintely gracious. I am a new person now, trying not to get back into the old ruts…..and praying for God to continually heal me and our church.
I am better for being broken.
In my experience, those asking for pillows, chocolate, etc have the right idea. That’s the only cure for burnout, is recharging. In fact, you may lay out some steps that will only cause some to think: “Oh no! Ann says I should be doing this and I’m not!’ Even Jesus just wanted to get away from everyone for a short spell.
Maybe your session could just be based on Elijah–go find a cave, sit in it, and wait for the still small voice (not the one on your cell!)
As a bi-vocational pastor who suffered major burnout last year, I’d like to hear from other bivo pastors and how they avoid burnout.
i’d like to hear:
that boundaries are alright.
that guilty feelings placed upon you is not alright.
that conviction from the holy spirit is always alright.
Most talks on burnout seem to beat me with info I already have. It’s like hearing “eat less, exercise more” from my doc.
I’m the least burnt-out when I make time to acknowledge what God is doing around me–even the small things. Sometimes I need someone to facilitate that, btw. I’ve learned that telling the God-stories is usually more important than the agenda.
It’s also helped to find a safe place to share/pray over the failures so that they’re no longer secrets for Satan to taunt me with when I’m at my low points.
You will see one verse written on the screen, and will be given the entire time to meditate on it.
“He will keep in perfect peace those who’s thoughts turn often to the Lord.”
Maybe I’m naive, but I think most people who are burned out know that they are, and know how they got there: by saying yes to waaaaay too much.
When I’ve gotten there what I need is uninterrupted prayer fora lot longer than I think I need it. I’ll echo a number of other comments: total silence and couches. Could be the best 45 minutes of someone’s year.
I’d want to be inspired by what was worth saying “yes” to so that it would be totally obvious and even easy to say “no” to the lesser good. I’d want analogies like the one I’ve read about book pages needing white space and how awful it would be to read a book without white space and how a life can either have white space or not and that it’s the white space that leaves me open to the spontaneous that God puts before me. Steven Covey’s big rocks, little rocks, sand and water in a jar analogy also comes to mind when I’m facing a “no.” Finally, since we know how to change the equation – the way we got to overload – we need words that show us how our addiction to whatever rush we get by saying “yes” to things is a poor substitute for the things we are losing by doing so (availability to God, quality family time, quality alone time, quality God time….).
I’m new here, and honestly didn’t read any of the above responses. I just wanted to say that the first thing I would want our of my 45 minutes is a 30 minute nap :) HA! Sorry I had to…
In honesty,if the above isn’t possible, or with the extra 15 minutes, maybe a kind reminder that my being burnt out doesn’t allow me to help others as I could not being burnt out. It is okay to slow down, to say “no”, to take care of me. At least for me, I have a hard time with these things!
OK…a little late on this one.
how about this (and, i have not read above posts)? the tyranny of urgency; i.e. the so-important meeting/call/e-mail/text that needs to be adressed right now and often reflects poor planning
WOW…there are SO many things that I would want to talk about and struggle to think that a single 45 minute breakout session would be “enough” time…BUT…if I only had 45 minutes I would want to cover some of the following:
1) You are not alone
2) That it is OK to be burned out…it’s not a sin and you won’t burn in the pit for it.
3) Some simple steps (no more than 4) that I could do TODAY to help ease the burnout!
4) Biblical references to back up the facts that sometimes God has us in the wilderness for a reason.
5) Books/Articles/References to continue to get help for the burnout after the conference (even counseling if necessary).
Speaking from someone who has dealt with CHURCH BURN OUT (from 5 intense years in ministry at one of the fastest growing churches in America) for myself and my husband (we are both pastors)…it is a REAL concern and a REAL problem for so many people.
Thanks for what you are doing to shed the light on the things that most people push into the darkness.
Melissa in Mel’s World
Haven’t read through all the comments, but I’d want to learn some signs for early detection and what to do about them. How do you avoid total burnout by not letting it sneak up on you.
Hmmm, great ideas. Sleep, Say No, hearing boundaries are okay, decreasing unrealistic expectations/pressure/guilt, relaxation, chocolate. (I would add seated massages and deep breathing).
Sounds like we know what will help, what’s preventing us from getting and doing what we need? What is driving me to burn out?
If you are burnt out and haven’t already read about the Room of Grace vs the Room of Good Intentions from TrueFaced – it is awesome.
I think all this is good but it needs more than one breakout session at a conference. This subject needs to be taught at lovely resort in the Caribbean that takes some time for rest and relaxation and application of the teachings. And it needs to be paid by the ministries that the people are coming from as a prerequisite for success. if the ministry won’t pay for it, I wouldn’t want to be a part of a ministry like that, not on staff anyway.
I think getting to the root of the problem, which for most would be, finding one’s identity/meaning/purpose in what one does, instead of who we are and who’s we are. The person who said something about learning we are human beings, not human doings was on the money.
Uncovering all the lies that cause people to strive and get on the treadmill to burnout.
All the practical advice and naps are great, but if folks don’t learn why they are prone to burnout, then it becomes a vicious cycle.
My prayer is for everyone who is struggling with this issue to find out how much the Father loves them, no matter what they do or don’t do. We don’t have to perform to make Him love us or be pleased us. IN fact, if we are working for the wrong reason, then whatever is not of faith is sin. God is not afraid of us not “working for Him”. He rested from His works, so we can too.
May we all enter into the Sabbath rest that Jesus bought for us on the cross. May we call cease from our own works and rest in what He did for us.
Sue,
One of my dreams for when we are empty-nesters is to have a retreat center for pastors and missionaries and their families to get away to sleep, play, relax, re-connect with each other and God (and have some counseling or coaching if needed or wanted).
I’d like to do it on a beach in Hawaii, my wife is thinking more bed-and-breakfast out in the woods somewhere. Either way I’d love to go around asking churches to send their pastor on vacation.
So, recovering mad church disease peeps look me up in about 15-20 years, hopefully we can chill on the beach someday.
Each of us has a finite amount of
Time
Money
Talent
Raw physical strength
and Emotional effort.
Burnout is usually running out of emotional effort. I think we have all been on a project or exercise that involved a lot of physical work – like helping a good friend move. At the end, we were tired – but it was a “good tired”.
We ran out of physical strength, but we did not run out of emotional effort.
To “burn” is to serve with impact without running out of emotional effort (see Mike O’Dorney’s comment). Burnout is a perversion of “burn.”
I’d like to see a lot of discussion on the POSTURE of burn – meaning, an attitude of dependence on God, seeking His will for our life & ministry. This is more than central; it’s more than a spiritual facet of our life (like our financial, relational, physical, etc.). It’s the very atmosphere within which we are able to be effective and remain strong in our service to others.