monday, i asked the question, “how do you feel when you go to church?”
the responses were all over the place…”at home”…”worried”…”disgusted”…”excited”
today, the question is…
how does the church feel about you?
there are so many comparisons between physical anatomy and the body of christ in scripture.? and similar to our physical health, we should be striving for harmony and unity amongst all the body’s parts.
when i was twenty six, i had my gallbladder removed.? it stopped functioning and died.? and it was making me incredibly sick. even eating a little bit of food would make me throw up and have tremendous amounts of pain.
but once it was removed, everything started working better.
so…how does the church feel about you? are you functioning and encouraging growth and health? or are you a dead organ that needs to be removed?
Comments
45 responses to “how does the church feel about you?”
wow! what a post! just followed here from twitter. and of course, I must respond since I am an inactive church member!
I love the church, the hymns, the service, the worship. I honestly do. But I have found over the past 25 years or so, that I am now a misfit. I have changed churches several times; I have been active; I have been a “only go on Sunday” person. I feel I have now exhausted my chances for church community. I attend a small Unity prayer group on Sunday nights to help me stay on track with my spiritual goals.
soooooooooooo I must be one of those dead organs that had to be removed! lol
with sincere respect,
I speak positively well about my church.
I trust that God is in control.
I know where I suppose to be serving at.
I have been more than blessed.
I think my church likes me.
I would hope that my church feels good about me. I would feel arrogant saying, “Oh my church loves me!” :) – I strive to use my gifts, talents, and abilities the best I can to function within the body effectively, both within the walls of the church building and as a member of the body of Christ as a whole (the BIG Church). I am sure there are times that I mess up and make the body sick, but I hope the other members can get me back on track when I veer off.
It all depends on how well I do speaking that Sunday. If they aren’t throwing things or falling asleep I feel pretty good. I don’t really do hospital visits, so I have to “show up” on Sundays!
Good question
I’m one very screwed up individual and consider myself blessed to be surrounded by people that stand by ready to pick me up when I fall.
I’m glad to be part of a community that doesn’t think to cut me out when I fail.
Anne,
Your compassion widget has dropped about two pages! What happened?
i can be a gall bladder or a thyroid depending what I choose each day :-)
hmmm…trying to sort out your question…do you mean the ages-old Church or the local expression where I serve? :)
Wow, what a thought Anne. As much as comparisons work well when trying to help people understand something better, I am unsure if this one really works.
If someone’s walk is pretty much dead, should the church feel that they need to get rid of them or that maybe they have failed in building their “flock” up?
I think everyone of us as Christians has been to a place where we fell off the wagon so to speak. In those times , had a church member confronted me in a way that says “We need to get rid of you”, how detrimental to my walk that would have been.
I hope I understood your comparison correctly.
Gretchin
{thinks hard}…..I think my church sees me as a catalyst for change but someone with big feet, no tact and a joy for the Lord :)
Good question–especially following the previous one!
I’m sure they think of me as the “Compassion Lady” — and that’s not a bad reputation at all!
i’m functioning to my full capacity and always seeking to help other parts do the same…sometimes overworking though which can hinder other parts as i become fatigued…
I think my church sees me as a kid making all of his first mistakes with them. But I think they also see me as someone who’s mistakes are only made out of a desire to be in the center of God’s will with my life and my ministry.
…hopefully.
I think my church sees me as a toe (or foot) because I am always doing behind the scenes things that are often unseen, yet help things (and people and the church) get where it’s going. It does sometimes mes with my “words of affirmation” love language, but I am finding that part of humility is being able to do the right for the right reason whether people know it (or see it) or not. Good question.
@Gretch – dead…not as in needing help, but as in poisoning. as in toxic…as in, sometimes tough love sometimes means boundaries and separation.
the great thing about our physical bodies is when there is an infection our white blood cells (another part) actually FIGHT to heal us! :) that is the support i think you are referring to and i totally agree.
hmmm…..the pastor’s wife said……i get so tempted to write a book: the “stupid” reasons why people leave your church. we’ve been pastoring for 13 years and the reason are – well, sometimes funny and ridiculous.
blessings to you as you write
I am struggling with this question. My husband and I are definately more connected than the average church goer (initiated the planting of the church). We are members of the laity but I do feel often times that there are people in the congregation who see us as being outside of that laity arena because we are so active.
We also have been apart of the regional leadership. So, I believe that we are loved by our local church, home group/home church and most of the local church leadership and congregation. However, I feel that as a whole people culturally have lost touch with what it means to love and how to love others.
People are much to wrapped up in being loved by men rather than by God and this has worked its way throughout all levels of the church. We as a family were driven by this loss of family unit to develop a home church. That was our original goal not to plant a church. In meeting our own need, we found that others were needing as well.
Love is something that is a taught behavior. The majority of children today have been either damaged by an absence of parenting brought on by divorce or abandonment. We have lost our family units as they were known from the days Jesus walked the earth up until about 100 years ago. Parents often can’t handle the workloads and the extended family is not knitted together such that it can handle helping to carry the burden. Church organizations overall seem to have failed in discipling having taken on the mental attitude of a corporate structure in many cases. People are more comfortable in corporate relationships as a result and I believe that this is why we see such mammoth growth of the mega church. There are just so many factors at work here.
Overall, I would have to say yes. I do feel loved but the real love comes from knowing Christ as the church. I am constantly having to see the “bride” a handicapped, immature gal who is still trying to prepare herself for her groom. She is trying but just doesn’t seem ready to be a wife yet. Anyone who has been married for a while understands that there is a big difference from being loved by a bride and being loved by a wife of 15 years. Love moves from an emotion to a choice over and over during long periods of time. I feel like the churches understanding of love is immature and handicapped because many of our church leaders are too involved on the corporate aspects of leadership and not spending enough time discipling others on how to reflect Christ in action rather than words. Sorry if this upsets someone…but it is the way I see it.
It depends, in my former experience when it came to my gift of helps/service the church never tired of me, when I voice my heart on matters related to discernment and prophecy….. I am loathed and joked about behind my back. I also saw division based on strata. Because we struggled financially and professionally we often found out about social gatherings after the fact. Looking back it was clear that “beautiful people” were classified differently than “those who limped”. That’s going on in most every church I’m afraid.
In, the church I presently attend (in a small town) I think I’m viewed as an outsider, which I understand. An 86 year old widow who is dying of cancer has adopted us as her own and shown us the deepest of love in a time where we are healing.
So, my answer is that this Church loves me.
If you were to take a poll, I would guess that my home congregation (i.e. small “church”) would state that I am invaluable – NOT because of my great spiritual insight or ability to bless or giftedness in prayer or discernment, but because I keep things running, my gift of organization. I’m working on changing that legacy. I don’t want to be invaluable simply because the bills won’t get paid otherwise; I want to be a person who is the embodiment of Jesus in my service to others and my very real relationship with the Lord.
I think my church wants to know where the heck I am at.
my church likes me… I think I make them smile.
by the way, I LOVE my church! — I think that’s the key. Some pastors/leaders want to be worshiped and/or admired but they don’t really love the church or their role… hmmm.
also, I like you, your pastor and your church, too. and I’ve never attended or met any of you.
naive? nah, I don’t think so.
my church loves me – as long as i go the big givers dinner and do not tell the pastor that he is fat
whs said that? do i hear a talking wart?
How does my church feel about me? Let’s see…I’m new so it’s welcoming but it’s also challenging my mind. My church is completely different from the church I moved away from.
My church expects me to work my butt off, —however maybe those are my own expectations.
A hand. A hired hand. A beloved hired hand. That wants to slap someone every now and again.
I pray that the church feels excited about me as I learn and grow.
I had to go back a few times and look at the original question. It was, “How does the church feel about you.” That sent me to 1 Cor. 12 & 13. It was there I realized, the real church loves me.
Great post, Anne.
My church loves that I’m around to volunteer.
If only they knew my struggles. Would they still love me? I don’t know.
I only tell people that I know won’t judge me.
Mmmmm.
I’m a pastor, and believe it or not, I feel very affirmed, treasured, and loved. It’s like I’m in my sweet spot and there’s a recognition that this is good for both of us, that God is blessing it. I know that lots of pastors don’t feel this way, and I feel sad. Whenever people outside our church ask me what they can pray for me, I say, “That God would give me favor with his people.” God has consistently answered that prayer.
I keep meaning to comment on your blog, but your questions are so hard!
Humm…I haven’t been to the building the rest of my family attends in a while so if you mean how do those who are there feel about me I don’t know. Nobody has called and I haven’t exactly gone out of my way to meet up with many of them. Those I have met with or bumped into are nice, polite and lack curiousity.
I’m not sure I like this question very much. I didn’t like the last one either but didn’t comment only because I didn’t check in before today. I guess my problem is that I have found enough judging in the Church to last me a lifetime so I’m just not too excite about the idea of promoting more. Call me picky but I’d rather talk about my growing edges and my success stories than my likes and feelings.
I feel like “the church” as a whole sees us as their local missionaries and we are part of the big machine. We come once a year and talk for 10-15 minutes. They do an offering and pray for us. Routine. The smaller “church” sees us as part of something bigger. They have captured the vision and gotten on board with what God has been doing this past year and a half. They have surrendered and given much and that makes me know that we are involved in a real community…not just to a bunch of people who hang out on Sundays.
I think I am the benign mass. Neither helpful, nor harmful.
But they remove those sometimes ya know… I best change that.
Since I am the lead pastor of the church I am hoping they don’t see me as a dead organ that needs to be removed! :) What I do want them to see me was is a vital part , like everyone else is, of a functioning body, where no part of the body is any more important or significant than any other.
I think my “church” views me as a mixed bag. A lot of people don’t know me and so they think I am some sort of perfect person, those that do know me I think like to keep me around because I am a work in progress! I personally think that I am getting a bit toxic and need a break from the system (or i need to immerse myself….)
On the days when I am serving joyfully, my church likes me. I love my church all the time… but sometimes my mind forgets that. Sometimes I’m a grouch (in my head, not out loud but still). On those days, I think my church rolls its eyes at me.
I think my church is waiting for me (as well as anyone else) to allow God to use me in a way our community has never experienced before. Patient but so eager to see our gifts used to effect others positively.
One of the things that brought me to my church is the love that they show people, ALL people, so ya I would say my church loves me. They loved me before I started serving, and to me that is genuine.
ouch. thank you, ma’m, may i have another?
WOW! Didn’t expect that question. My pastor has told me they know I can be count on.
My new church says that we are “jewels, not tools.”
I love that.
Anne, these questions have been interesting because of my recent sabbatical. So I came “home” last Sunday and in my absence I thought about this alot. At times – due to recent events – I wondered if I was a “painful reminder” or “ineffective” at our church fellowship. Someone asked me why I stayed……
I stayed because I love my church, I love THE church and God has called me here.
I would say they love me too.
with a few exceptions, most of my church doesn’t even know me. it’s kinda big and we go to different services (sometimes early service, sometimes second service). we don’t get involved with any extracurricular activities, etc. however to the church as a whole, i hope i’m viewed as someone who speaks the truth, encourages a walk with the Lord and i’ve been known, on occassion, to bring someone to the Lord. and i do this all while being a completely anti-social and terribly flawed individual. so i guess it depends on perspective. sometimes i’m useful and sometimes i’m not.
That’s a great question. I think they love my family very much. We serve a lot as a unit. But I also know I am controversial. I have views that many in our home church don’t, I am very vocal about them also, so I think a lot of times they wish I wasn’t so outspoken.
I didn’t answer the other question so; I LOVE my church, when I go I always feel like I am right where God wants me and I ALWAYS feel so blessed to be a part of a body that loves and serves the poor, hurting, orphaned and the lost.
Searing Anne, I love it.
This cuts to the core doesn’t it?
We keep asking what does the church do for us – but the church wasn’t really set up that way – it’s a community where we give and when we give then we receive. Trying to receive without giving first is kinda contrary to the whole “following Jesus” thing. (Kinda like trying to get lifted up with out humbling yourself or seeking other kingdoms first and trying to have the Kingdom of Heaven as an add on. )
I give my guts for my local church. I’m sold out to Jesus and so I’m automatically sold out to his bride as well. Jesus feels pretty terrific about the effort I put into my local church – even though my best is still a broken, pitiful effort. As for the rest of my church – they are broken too – so they feel brokenly toward me. I’m cool with that.