someone who comments frequently here, emailed me this question and wanted to get your thoughts…what do you think?
If you prayed for somebody (financial situation, grief, job stress, and other life issues), but you DON’T tell them that you’ve been praying for them. Would that make a difference in that person’s life especially if he/she is not a Christian?
I have a friend who is aware that she may get laid off/demoted in a month and she may have to move out of state. Along with that, she shared with me quite a few stories about past broken/failed relationships (possible abuse in one of them) along with other personal bad choices.
I think she knows I’m a Christian since I mentioned about playing music for the church.
Part of me wants to think that God can just nudge her at night, waking her up from her sleep and telling her something good is happening.
I’ve submitted a prayer request for her through my bible study group…..now, I may sound like I’m doubting God’s power now…but if I didn’t tell her that some people have been praying for her, would that prayer be less ‘effective’? OR Would God think “No…I don’t have plans for her.”
Your thoughts?
Comments
21 responses to “how does prayer work?”
When everyone we have trusted betrays us, it is difficult to trust a God we cannot see. “Oh, for grace to trust Him more.” Feelings of insecurity often control a woman’s decisions to know God is planning a better life.. By telling her you prayed, she is able to embraces the truth that “hey, I’m not alone after all.”
I’ve been hearing over and over again about the power of prayer and how that is one main tool God has given us. I do believe it does help, even if they aren’t believers. For me, prayer is more of a ‘giving it to God’ act that is a form of obedience to Him, which He will always honor through His perfect will.
it might be strengthening and encouraging for her to hear that you are praying for her. and it might even open the door for more conversations about your faith, which would be awesome.
but what i really hear you asking is whether your prayers’ effectiveness is diminished if she doesn’t know you’re praying. absolutely not. the bible tells us that “the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective” (james 5:16) – it doesn’t add the condition “only if the subject of said prayers is aware you are praying…”
keep praying. keep believing. God is at work behind-the-scenes, in ways you both are unaware of.
There’s a scripture in the new testiment that talks about God drawing the hearts of those that do not know Him… that they cannot be saved UNLESS they’ve been drawn in their hearts by Him…
I think He can TOTALLY come to her and nudge her to trust in something bigger than herself… But I don’t think it’s wrong of you to tell her that you’re praying… that’s planting a seed. Who knows what God can do with a planted seed…
Prayer is one of those where “rubber meets the road” things. It is one way of communicating our “believing without seeing” AKA faith! Prayer is our spiritual muscle!
God ALWAYS has a plan….telling her that she’s praying might actually be part of it! What does she have to loose is she tells anyway? Maybe a life?
“the quickest way to the heart of a hurting brother is through prayer” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together.
I think it’s beautiful that she is praying behind the scenes. Many times we want someone to know we are praying, and I know in my life it’s so they think I care. But praying without telling is truly, sincerely, intercession. A faithful God sees the honesty and selflessness in that.
i think that prayer changes things. it stirs the heavens to make a difference. it changes the spiritual climate. but at the same time some things might happen because of prayer and the person you are praying for may not see them and pass them up.
the great thing about praying for someone is that you are not fixing anything…you are asking God to fix it. so if it works and things are fixed they way that YOU want them, great…if not…great, you didnt do anything. So there is no heaviness about if it was your prayers, God heard you. but that doesnt mean that he chose not to act on it. There could be a lesson in your trails…or he could be letting someone “break down” that doesnt know him so that they will be driven to desire him.
but no doubt, prayer works and is so powerful!
but also, if she is already having trouble trusting life and you tell her you are praying for her and things don’t work out the way she wants them to she may use that as a reason to add to her distrust of life and god. i agree that she may feel touched and less alone if you tell her that you are praying for her. i also think it is important to explain what libby said, that prayer is “an act of giving it over to god” and as robin said “that god always has a plan”. as believers we trust god’s plan, or we try to anyway, and that his plan for our life is what we want to walk out.
telling her can definitely open the conversation about god and how his presence can heal the wounds in her heart that have led to her distrust. just showing her the love of jesus and listening to her is an act of loving kindness that will speak to her heart.
what a great question…and, not really an easy one to address in the space of a blog comments section.
that said, our best guide for the communion that God desires to have with us is Scripture. we find in those words numerous occasions of supplication (prayer) by persons on behalf of others who do not know about the intercession.
again, hours could be spent discussing the theological/hermeneutic aspects of prayer.
the better answer though is: pray, because our Lord directs us to do so. :)
john ireland….true, very true.
at its best it is having a conversation with God.
In the past, when I’ve wondered whether or not I should tell someone that I’m praying for them… it’s only because I already know that I should tell them. I’m only asking because I’m trying to rationalize chickening out of bringing God front-and-center for a moment.
To use Baptist language, it really does bless people to hear that someone is praying for them, whether they are a Christian or not. Sure, there’s the small percentage of people in the world who really, really have something against God, but if she’s continued to have a relationship with this guy even though she knows he’s actively involved in a church, I don’t think she’s one of those.
I don’t know, but maybe she’s just waiting for someone else to bring up God, so she doesn’t have to. You never know until you try.
There’s nothing to lose by telling her.
Let you’re friend know you’re a praying person. That will provide an open door for her to bring you future prayer requests which can or will lead to more talk about the One who answers prayer because He loves her so much… But I’d keep the info about sharing her need with your group on the downlow… that may embarrass her.
I don’t think not telling her would limit God from working. But think about it, you pray to God because you are in a relationship with Him. And you’re praying for your friend because you’re in a relationship with her. Now you just need to introduce the One to the other.
I believe the act of praying for her is more about us than it is about her. It’s not that we asked God to intercede in that situation. It’s that we took time to spend with God on behalf of someone else. I think that’s what pleases God. I pray for things in faith all the time but I make sure my relationship with God isn’t based on those prayers happening, because I also know I sometimes pray for things that aren’t his will.
It’s not bad at all to tell her you’re praying for her. I don’t think it will have any effect on whether God answers the prayers or not. What it might do is give her a little comfort to know there are people out there that focus on something beyond themselves. Just seek God’s will and say “Hey, should I say something to her?” Then just listen.
“but if I didn’t tell her that some people have been praying for her, would that prayer be less ‘effective’?”
There are three things that get in the way of an intercessor’s prayer being effective:
* lack of faith
* not coming before Him with a contrite heart
* asking for something outside of the Biblical parameters of His will
Whether you tell the person or not is a non-issue. Each intercession opportunity will differ. I have (nonbeliever)friends and relatives that I have prayed for a decade and a half (for life situations to draw them into a relationship with Christ). However, to tell them about it each time would seem like I am consistently nagging/judging them.
Great answer Christina.
I personally would be ok if my friends tell me that they’re praying for me, even more than a few times. It’s another way of pretty much keeping up with how each other is doing (like when we meet up at church and chat with your mom a little bit too).
“Hey I’ve been praying for you this week, any updates?” that kinda stuff.
I can’t doubt the power of prayer.
I like in Roman’s 8 where it says that “the spirit Himself makes intercession for us with goranings which cannot be uttered.” I think God works through us in prayer, and maybe sometimes we don’t even know it. I’ve had experienced times where I’ve prayed and prayed for someone and I loved the results of the situation.
Maybe prayer is even more powerful the more intentional we are.
Prayer is absolutely important because it not only changes those we are praying for but also those who are praying. Through our prayers God sometimes speaks words that he wants communicated to those we are praying for. We have to be obedient to share those words with those people. Which is easier said than done. Often times people make decisions out of habit and seriously have no clue that what they are doing is wrong. Is praying going to be the only way to change them?
I agree that it seems as if prayer is more effective the more intentional we are – it is the constant focusing of my heart on Jesus.
Also, don’t you think that God “nudges” unbelievers whether they are being prayed for or not? The Holy Spirit intercedes in the lives of unbelievers daily and He is constantly working to bring unbelievers to Him.
I think is ok to tell her that youre praying for her because like other people mentioned it may spark a conversation that God may use in her life in a powerful way. I beleive God hears your prayers wether or not you tell her it will just be an added bonus to have those conversations with her.
I don’t think you should bring it up to “spark” conversation, that seems a bit manipulative. It all comes down to motives on why you would want to tell her. If it is to lift her spirits, I am sure there are other ways one can be compassionate and show that you care than telling someone that your praying for them.
Maybe I am a bit jaded, but many people say, “I will pray for you”, and never actually pray with an consistency, if at all.