i love time off and away from work. especially after an unusually hectic monday and tuesday, it was nice to relax with chris, my family, and have some alone time as well.
on the flip side, sometimes it’s difficult for me to have that alone time because i end up over thinking. do you ever do that? one thought leads to another, then to another, and another and soon you have all these thoughts piled up in your head.
as we spent time with my family (who live on the fort worth side of things) it reminded me of times past. i lived over that way from the time i was sixteen until i moved to kansas city when i was twenty one. lots of memories. some good. and some i wish i could forget.
on saturday when we were back at our place, we started packing our boxes. all of our decor is now packed away, as well as all of our books. i am so excited about moving! i only have four more weeks at lake pointe, then a couple of weeks off until a new chapter at lifechurch.tv begins.
even though i feel a little overwhelmed with memories of the past screaming at me from behind, and hopes for the future shining so brightly in front of me, this moment right now is the present.
and as quiet as it seems, it’s just as important as the things which have shaped me before, and the things that have yet to come.
Comments
17 responses to “in between the past and future”
Our society does not encourage taking time to enjoy the here and now so it’s good that you are taking the time to savor this moment. We are often so busy trying to forget the past and rushing through the infinite to-do list of the present that we don’t take time to see what God is saying to us in the now. While it’s understandable in the fast paced world that is modern life, the danger is that we will arrive at a future with very few deep memories and just a lot of checked off tasks. Instead of strong emotional ties to past memories (yes, good ones and bad ones), we will just have a list of accomplishments and very little detail. I liken it to people who lived through the drug induced haze of the 60’s and 70’s and don’t remember much of it. However, instead of marijuana or LSD being the culprit, it will be memory loss caused by overly hectic schedules. What’s the best form of intervention? Pause, relax, and breathe.
Very true, and beautifully expressed. I have experienced those moments a lot over the past few years as I go through the constant transitions of a college student. I am about to go on my very last Christmas break before my very last semester, and I hope to grab that “moment” like you are.
What a refreshing blog, Anne. You always put life back in focus. Thank you! You’re letting us walk right with you. I can remember the first time my husband accepted a Youth & Music Director job at a church in LaMesa, California and I couldn’t imagine leaving my family in Oklahoma, so I decided to take my time in packing “the boxes” as you say, and instead of enjoying the process of moving, I jammed it all in the last couple of days….not good. What I’m trying to say is I’m so glad you are looking FORWARD to what lies ahead…I wish I would have done that…life got pretty tough because I lagged behind. Now I look back and am glad I sifted through the moving so far away, but once there, it was the BEST thing that ever happened to us! lifechurch.tv will be so grateful to have your extraordinary super talent!
i hear you there.
i think my body doesn’t even understand the meaning of relaxation recently. (yet i’m still very good at not being productive…)
wow. i just got the connection. lifechurch. randy coleman.
granted i have no clue which campus he works at.. but if you happen to be working with him…that guy is amazing. (i know its somewhere in oklahoma..)
anyhow, I’m excited for you guys. and in a small way, granted its further off than you, i’m dealing with that too. it feels so in between. maybe because it is. but its a hard thing sometimes. although i think its the times when you’re in limbo that really allow you to appreciate what you have, be it friends, community, etc. (and then thats the hard..when you’re leaving it.)
i love you anne!
Well said…Joy (my wife) went to CA on Friday and gets back tomorrow, so I utilized the “solo” time as a personal retreat. It was great, but I get what you are saying about the quiet time. There were occasions when the “idleness” could have led me to not great places. Gratefully, that did not happen and I had a fruitful three days!
Here’s to the shining future suppressing the screaming past. :)
Ah to enjoy the moment, the “now” moment. It’s hard. For some reason we humans seem to either be looking over our shoulder at the past or straining to see in to the future. Enjoying the present seems to be quite difficult for most of us.
But it’s great that you are doing that very thing of taking time to enjoy this “now” moment. It’s important.
Hope all goes well with the move!
As I’ve often told another person I’m close to—stop “Anne-alyzing” =)
We can never un-do what’s been done—and life is too short to NOT enjoy the now!
Hang in there—glorious things are ahead for you!
Been there…
We moved to Illinois from Seattle nearly 2 years ago to head into full-time ministry. It’s been an amazing time for me and my family, but sometimes it’s difficult not to look back. Family members falling ill, friends who don’t know Jesus and an environment that we cherished are all behind us…and that’s hard sometimes. The other side is that God is moving so powerfully here, that we have no choice but to cherish the present and wait in anticipation for the future. In the end, I know God will take care of all that we left behind, guide all that is in our present and shape what lies ahead in the future…He just amazing like that :)
Thanks Anne!
Anne,
Remember me…. I am the one who came and introduced myself when you were in Kansas City at Westside after a concert at the church.
Anyway your comment today struck a cord with me. My husband and I have had a very faith building couple of years and are just on the other side of that time. During that time a thought that got me through was….If the evil one can keep you focused on the problems and hurts of the past or on the anxiety and fears of the future then you are allowing him to rob you of God’s intended blessings in the PRESENT. We don’t experience God’s blessing in the past or the future, we may have experienced it in the past but at that time it was the PRESENT, we will experience God’s blessing in the future but when we do it will be in the PRESENT. God has blessings for you today in the present but only if you can open your heart to it TODAY without focusing on the clutter of the past and the fears of the future. (The person I learned this from was David Ferguson when my husband and I took Intimate Encounters). Steven Curtis Chapman’s song Miracle of the Moment also is a great reminder of how each moment is precious and a gift from God.
Sorry it has taken me so long to comment on your blog. I read everyday and am praying for you…. your past, present, and future…..
Christ’s love to you……
Tanis
Anne, you know moving can be hard. Hard on the emotions, the body, the mind. But, the fact that you are moving to such an amazing community of believers will help. We’re looking forward to having you. I think you’ll feel right at home :)
I also have a hard time with over analyzing things. It’s like a mind trap that leaves you paralyzed! I’ll pray the same prayer for you that I pray for me. That God would free my mind to better serve HIM.
As I got back into the hectic rhythms of life this morning, I found myself praying, “God please help me think this week. Come in and fill my mind with your presence. Help me to be creative and give me creative thoughts as I explore the new paths that You will lead me along!”
Of course this comes on the heels of a week where my mind seemed to just shut down. It’s been a tough summer and fall as I’ve been so busy with my job and the new nonprofit. I think God helped me last week to rest my brain and just relax. Something that’s often difficult for me to do.
we look forward to your contribution at lc…stop by south with storch sometime and we’ll all have a free java…
over thinking? what’s that?
i’m still in that place between past and future. interesting how that works when you make yourself available to do what God created you to do.
i think slowing down is a hard thing to do because you are forced to address other things that you can just ignore when youre busy. i also know when i wake up at night if i dont turn on the radio and listen to “coast to coast” i will lay awake for hours just thinking about stuff…analyzing…and more thinking…and more analyzing…often too much of these thoughts are around worry or things that are out my control.
slowing down is so hard for me. i pack my schedule in hopes that maybe if i stay busy enough that i wont have to deal with the things that are bothering me. but if left with too much time i think about things and play the “what if” game until i am blue in the face. it is mostly with things that i can not control.
i too spend too much time thinking about things until i have thought them into the ground. my counselor told me that i have to instate “worry time” meaning once a week or if it is a stressful season that i schedule worry time in my planner. it has helped because i only allow myself time to think about the things that i over think during that time. and because it is a “scheduled time” it ends. and when my 30 minutes are done i am done.
worry time has been a great thing that i have used for about a year now. it was a great discipline to put into practice. i used to worry and over think things to the point of giving myself stomach ulcers, but once i got good about knowing when i was prone to worrying i would schedule time. and i would have people know when that time was.
The silent screams of the past echoing into the future can make the present very crowded.