i was twenty four years old. a girl. and was getting offered the title of “director” in the southern baptist church i worked at. i would be one of the few women with that title, and by far the youngest. my salary would also increase, as would my oversight of several key teams: communications & media.
internally, i was facing a dilemma. my current position was a support staff role in student ministry. i loved working with my team – we had the most unique chemistry i’ve ever experienced. my direct supervisor was the student pastor, and it was like i could read his mind. i was truly his right hand person. the ministry had developed such momentum and i had formed some very special relationships with some of the high school girls over the couple of years i had been involved.
but…director?
but…more money?
but…more influence?
i’d have my own office. my own budgets. my own credit card.
being a list-maker, i wrote down the pros and cons of each position. reading over them now, i can see how my true intent of wanting to be the youngest female staff person in leadership tainted my decision making.
i took the director position.
and it was the worst decision i have ever made in my entire life.
three years later, i can see how much i stepped off the path of how god made me so i could pursue a sweet sounding title on a business card and a status which i thought proved my worth.
sure, i can be a leader. i can take charge. i can delegate and direct. but he has specifically designed me to be in a supporting role, and it’s in that supporting role where god uses my gifts, talents, and passions the best.
for his name.
not mine.
jud writes,
“You may have no say over the organizational chart in the business you work for, but you do have the ability to serve others each day. Every person wants to be known and loved. What would happen if you stopped to talk to three people each day and asked them about their lives? Do you know the dreams of your co-workers and friends? Do you know their frustrations? Do you know their strengths? Have you thought about how you could help them win?
These kinds of questions cripple the High and Mighty Assassin. They lead to the release of sharing power and influence instead of the hording of it. They move people from following us positionally to following us relationally. This is servant leadership at its best.”
regardless of my title, i have to ask myself “what’s my position?” am i serving god and others in the best possible way now? or do i feel like a leadership role before i can lead?
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Comments
14 responses to “a week of deadly vipers: high & mighty”
Anne – I just finished the book also. Great book!!! I’m hoping our staff is going to work through this together soon. Thanks for your notes and thoughts on the book.
Anne…
Great post…
My wife and I have always made decisions based on pro’s and con’s (and then asked God to bless them)… until a few years ago that is…
If they had always weighed the pro’s and cons… they never would have done the things they did, and learned what they learned…
I don’t think there is anything wrong with looking at the benefits, and this may not be a very popular opinion, but I think this is a common mistake people make…
It is a road though that causes Christian people to ask the question…”what does God intend for my life?”
That was only answered for me, (BTW this is always an ongoing thing), when I started to draw close to him, and listen, instead of trying to discover on my own, through my own means…
This post is going to be unpopular to some who aren’t at a place outside of practiclality yet… but it will prove to be true nevertheless…
I really enjoy your blog…
Anne,
I have really enjoyed the posts you’ve written based on the book. Well, “enjoy” may be overstating it a touch. I haven’t had my toes so consistently stepped on since, well, I don’t don’t know when. Thanks for your honesty on these issues (and all of the others).
Oooooh…
I have really enjoyed this series. Especially this one and “Character Creep”.
enjoyed your posts all week anne…that book has such an unique and fresh view…you have inspired me to want to read it.
that is good. so many times i get stuck in wanting the title and the “power”
in my life it is like my signifigance and worth is tied up in what i do and how i am being defined, when really God has defined me and doing something, even if it is better is not my call….
it is hard to keep at peace and serve when you dont agree or think that you can do better….but i have learned in my short years here that God honours those who submit and support the people above them….even if they dont agree.
i have so enjoyed these posts….wonderful and challenging, i am walking away from this week challenged and pushed to be better….and i ordered the book. ;)
The assassin of the high and mighty has manifested itself in my life many times. I continue to fight off this deadly marksman who, when he gets the best of me, sabatoges my leadership abilities. For me this assassin works in a reverse order. Instead of getting caught up in titles and power and such, I get caught up in humility. “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never succeed.” “A good ‘christian’ would take the less prominent path.” A humble arrogance that is very self-centered. Instead of making a list of pros and cons I have to sit down and dissect my ‘self-talk’. And most times it’s down right embarrassing. Fortunately for me my wife is an expert at recognizing this assassin in my life. (She’s got my back.) And slaying this murderous monster has opened up a whole new (and far more effective and successful) lifestyle for me, my family, and my organization.
Thanks for sharing this, Anne. I’m also facing similar situations as a young female in a leadership role.
I always learn something from your posts.
Thank you so much for this series! Since my position is as a volunteer intercessor (prayer person), I have struggled with a craving to be notable in my role. Prayer personnel are not the ones listed in bulletins as directors, people to thank for involvement in a production, invited to thank you reunions after camps, etc., no matter how much time was spent on knees praying for these things. The ego is a tough one to wrestle with, since we all crave to ‘matter’ in this world. You nailed it though, pointing out that God is our boss and He knows what position we have in His business. Sometimes it is easier to remember that truth, than other times.
I just wrote about this very thing I went through (series entitled, “God Be The Solution”).
I had to decide, not between money and power, but between going to Africa versus living closer to my son.
I listen to God and aligned myself to His will. In return, I went to Africa and my company wants to open an office that will be closer to my son.
If temptation didn’t come disguised in pretty clothes, you might not fall for it.
Anne, thanks for all the insight into this book. It’s been great to read your posts.
Later,
Terry
Thanks for this series I really feel known when I read your blog. Your authenticity is inspiring.
Hey Anne, Thanks for your honesty, as many have said. On your reccomendation (sp?), I ordered this bad boy and just finished it!
Maybe I’m out of line here, but both men are involved in incredible ministries…do you wish they would have talked about the source of integrity a bit more directly?
I really don’t want to be that guy that’s like “IT’S NOT CHRISTIAN ENOUGH!” and I’m really trying hard not to be, I’m just sayin… I would value your thoughts.