i have to be honest. when i got to the assassin of amped emotions chapter, i thought, “ah…finally, something that doesn’t apply to me.”
except for some very fleeting moments, i am a very calm person. i don’t throw tantrums. i hate yelling. i rarely get angry. i’m not much of a grudge holder and i am typically not a vengeful person.
and then i got through a couple more pages and read this:
DEAR FREAKING IDIOT!!!
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!???!! DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN!!?? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!!! PUSH ME AGAIN, YOU SCUM SUCKING PENCIL-NECKED GEEK, AND I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!!!!!
i don’t know how mike and jud hacked into my email account and found that email, but oh boy, am i embarrassed!!
there have been times where i have sent that email. there have been times when i have posted that comment on a blog when i disagreed with someone. i have used the ALL CAPS and the !!??!! many times before.
and as the book says, it’s usually over really tiny things that don’t matter.
there was a time, just a few months ago, when i read an email that i wasn’t supposed to. i wasn’t snooping around or anything; it just got sent to me on accident. and there was a very snippy remark in it, which i assumed was about me.
i was FIRED UP. livid. super, duper annoyed and just flat-out ticked at the people who were involved in the conversation.
i wrote one of those kinds of emails and right before hitting that send button my boss came in my office.
he instantly knew something was off (as i mentioned earlier – i really don’t get visibly upset) and we talked (meaning: i vented) about the situation. i (proudly) read him my response to their supposed immaturity and he said,
“you probably shouldn’t send that.”
he was right.
that’s when it really hit me: i can let my emotions get the best of me.
i closed out the email and spent a lot of time thinking about the entire situation. even if my response seemed justifiable (there’s that word again)…i was lacking SERIOUS humility.
a week later, i got the word “grace” tattooed inside my right wrist. a little drastic, perhaps, but it is now a constant reminder of the grace i have received and the grace i need to give.
it’s also really hard to flip someone off in dallas traffic when you see the word “grace” as your hand’s flying up to shoot them the bird.
anger, jealousy, bitterness – they can all get the best of us. this assassin moves quickly and wrecks our common sense.
deep breath. deep, deep breath.
there you go.
breathe.
Comments
24 responses to “a week of deadly vipers: amped emotions”
Ouch!
Does the tattoo help? I could use one, if it does.
Anne, thanks for sharing that. Great story about the transforming power of God’s grace.
Flipping the bird with grace….that’s classic!
I should clarify…since the tattoo…the bird flipping has diminished….but only because I get halfway there and see GRACE….and think, “crap!”
Hopefully it will slowly work its way into my heart and head :)
Ann,
I’ve sort of been a silent admirer from a distance as I’ve followed your posts on Swerve and then steal over to your blog to see what your thinking. I love the fact that you’re pretty transparent. By the way, congrats on your new position with LifeChurch.TV. I’ve also been completely blown away by the deadly viper book and have in fact given out ten copies so far to my Lead Team and a couple of friends in the hope that it will impact them as profoundly as it did me. This leadership thing is a huge learning curve.
Joseph-
Thanks for the kind words! :) I’m excited about working at LC. We’re headed up there for the weekend & I am pumped!
The Deadly Viper book has rocked my world. Mine is getting passed on to a friend in South Africa and I pray it influences her like it did me…
I hope you’ll stick around & enjoy the conversation!
i have found the deadly vipers are just as deadly whether thought, said or acted upon. i tend to be the calm one who never shows emotion..positive or negative…but that does not mean the feelings aren’t there….the anger, irritation, rage and bitterness. yep. all there…just not shown. i am reminded of the sermon on the mount where we are taught that thinking those thoughts make us just as guilty as expressing those thoughts. makes me thankful for grace that has been poured into my life and makes me want to extend that grace to others. may i not be the one who throws a neighbor in jail for a small debt while living in the freedom of forgiveness for mine!
that is totally me…but i do hold grudges…and i hold them well. most times people dont know that i am so mad at them because i manipulate the situation to make them think that i am totally good.
when i was in jr. high i had to take anger managment or i would be expelled. so i do let my emotions take the best of me…i am not a cryer so it is usually in anger.
that is a very convicting post…thanks for once again bringing light into some areas of darknes…
ps. love the new picture. ;)
love this —
“it’s also really hard to flip someone off in dallas traffic when you see the word “grace” as your hand’s flying up to shoot them the bird.”
I have got to go get that book! Thanks for sharing your thoughts – it does cause me a dilemma. Last week I talked about envy and when I see how great you write it is difficult for me not to become envious.
Keep up the great work!
interesting, some of the things you say here
Hi Anne!
Thanks for recommending this book, I ordered it yesterday! Also, I gave your “dirty girls” article to a girls small group leader yesterday.
So, here’s me saying thank you for letting us blatantly rip off your good stuff!
I just found flowerdust through the swerve blog…awesome stuff Anne! I love your style and look forward to your book.
I don’t have a fish on my car because I also tend, while in traffic, to communicate a bit too specificially with my hands. At the same time, I’m looking to get my first tattoo…you have given me something to think about…hmmmmm?
Thank you for your transparency – I’ll pick up the Deadly Vipers book!
Loves it. I could totally use that grace tattoo – especially seeing as how I’ll be encountering Dallas traffic for the first time in a year beginning tonight, and honestly? Sometimes it’s veeeeeery difficult to hold back, especially at the Central/LBJ exchange!!
Thanks SO much for the hair rec! I’m hoping she’ll have an early AM appt – I may just go in Waco though since most people will be hungover after Halloween, I assume :)
Hee hee. I’m totally laughing at the bird of grace you mentioned. =)
im also ordering a grace tattoo…but do the rub on kind count…i cant handle the needles of real tattoos….peace..mike.
btw, just blogged about your blog over at the DV blog…is that a confusing sentence or what?
http://www.DeadlyViper.org
great words of wisdom. from time to time, i’m tempted to run into blog conversations and correct everyone or defend myself. and then i realize that it’s not worth it, but more importantly, that it’s not like Jesus.
Wow, you hit it right on the head. Sometimes I think I am so calm and collected too and then I realize it might just be because I think those things on the inside sometimes and just don’t let them out for everyone to see. But then there are the other times when it does come out and is not so pretty. And then I remember the LC.tv sticker on my car and think, “Crap!” The grace tattoo is awesome, maybe I need to put up a little note that says grace and stick it to my dashboard, haha!
Sometimes when my boy, 11yrs old, gets overwhelmed and frustrated he takes it to that next level. The one that catches a parents attention! So I am always reminding him, in those situations, to not let his emotions dictate his reactions. Especially words. Once you say them, they’re there forever!
i often wonder how many young, childless couples have looked at my boy as a form of birth control!
i wrote one of those ALL CAPS emails last week, just before i hit the send button my wife asked me what i was working on… thank God for wives that can give a bit of perspective. in the end i didn’t send it, but she helped me come up with a better way to express my thoughts.
I have a “bite me” tattoo on my wrist. I no longer flip them off, I just wave and say ‘have a nce day!’
kidding
So me throwing a plastic cup across my kitchen into the sink out of frustration while screaming last night was bad? Good to know.
I get like that quite often, except without the all caps and excess punctuation, because that would be grammatically incorrect and I won’t let myself get that carried away, because that might really cause some harm. My logic sure is twisted sometimes.
“it’s also really hard to flip someone off in dallas traffic when you see the word “grace” as your hand’s flying up to shoot them the bird.”
That’s really awesome, I need something like that. I was just telling someone last week how good I am at flipping people off in traffic, with the window down or sunroof open, my arm fully extended, and honking to make sure they look.
Oh my gosh this made me Laugh a LOT:
“it?s also really hard to flip someone off in dallas traffic when you see the word ?grace? as your hand?s flying up to shoot them the bird.”
Dallas traffic makes me cuss sometimes.
.-= Reese?s last blog ..Favorite Day, Ever #1 =-.