i got a copy of my friend mike foster’s and jud wilhite’s new book, deadly viper character assassins. something i have always appreciated about mike is his cut-and-dry honesty, and the deadly viper book is no exception of that trait. over the next few days, i’ll be hitting briefly on some of the things that stood out to me personally in this book (aside from its amazing design and layout).
today, i want to talk about the assassin of character creep. in summary, character creep is the killer who knocks us out in the small details of our life.
it’s the temptation to not claim all my contract work on my taxes because i know not everyone who hired me is reporting me to the IRS. it’s the temptation to blame traffic when i’m late for work when in actuality, i didn’t want to pull away from watching maroon 5 on the today show. it’s the temptation to justify why i am really watching maroon 5 on the today show (it wasn’t just the music…)
these have been some of my real, honest-to-god temptations.
a million little thoughts like this have always crossed my mind, and have probably always crossed yours too. we are always looking for the small ways to justify little missteps. when we’re searching for ways to find justification, chances are we probably shouldn’t be doing whatever it is that needs to be justified to begin with.
one of my favorite lines from this chapter is,
“we must acknowledge whether we are cutting corners and identify where we are vulnerable. when the pressure comes, will we be able to stand the force, or will our hull be compromised?”
it’s the little things. the little things nobody will ever know about.
we think we’re safe.
we think we’ll never be found out.
but the truth is when we make these little compromises, we’ve just been taken down by the assassin of character creep.
get dirty:
where are some of the areas in which you are tempted to fudge the details? your turn. spill it.
Comments
19 responses to “a week of deadly vipers: character creep”
Anne:
The blame game: When I meet with so many women and their issues, and I know they are lying about their husband’s behavior; I’m tempted to ASK them if I may be permitted to ask their husband in front of them if it’s the truth. Lies begat lies! Truth sets free!
Hi. It is me, Kristi. Yeah, I would like to say that I am a loving wife. But really, I just treat my husband like crap…a lot. I can’t figure out how to relate or respect him in those areas that I know I need to…you know the ones…where I just need to back him up for his sake. For the sake of our marriage, for the sake of trust, for the sake of submission. But nope. I just keep on treating him like crap and telling him directly or indirectly that I could do whatever it is better. I suck and need to go ask for forgiveness now. I think I need that book.
I think gossiping about certain people on campus. Because I’m talking about them with a couple really close friends, I rationalize that we’re just discussing things discerningly. Yeah, right…
So guilty of this!
I am a sitting duck when it comes to getting myself to class. I need prayer. I have a hard time leaving the quiet (children are in school) to go to class, even though I know that this is what and where I am called to be right now. Not that I hate class or learning new and interesting things, it’s jsut that first step out of quiet.
My name is Stacey and I am class procrastinator!
If I allowed character creep to continue to do his work in my life, it would have resulted in my own destruction.
Don’t ever think that because it is just the little things it won’t matter. I am living proof that it does matter.
My temptation is to want top pass off some store-bought or restaurant- made cooking/baking as my own.
Or give a gift that is handcrafted (but not by me) and never quite answer, when asked if I made it.
Justification, ‘it’s okay to be a brat in this discussion with my husband because I’m totally correct.’ ‘it’s okay to be in a bad mood because this task is just horribly tedious.’ ‘it’s okay to wait until tomorrow or next week to start doing better at such and such because I’ve already screwed up today.’
For me, it’s the ‘it’s okay . . . because . . .’s that have caused me to experience character creep. It’s a easy way down but a hard climb back up!!
hey anne…first off…thanks so much for posting about our little book and the kind words…im pumped to see your further comments and thots on it…so since we are all talking about character creep here is one of the many confessions i got to get out…this is something im working on…
when people call me on the phone and i really dont want to talk to them, i tell them i have a meeting coming up in a couple minutes or that “im swamped right now with work” and cant talk…even though thats not true..i could be surfing the internet or daydreaming or be totally meeting free but still i would say this kind of stuff…it sucks and i hate that i bend the truth like that…and im definitely trying to work on that cuz i was really convicted by what marcus buckingham said in the interview i did with him…when he or his employees have the opportunity/or a good reason to bend the truth, they dont…they must be truthful…
btw, if i have said these things to any of you “i have a meeting coming up” or “im slammed with work”, it probably was legit :) …peace..mike.
http://www.DeadlyViper.org
i do what mike does….
if i am bored on the phone i pretend that i am super busy or about to enter a “dead spot” there have been times when i would just get really quiet to make the person think that i lost service…
i even do it with my parents….
i dont know that i ever thought about that as sin, how disconnected am i? it is lying.
Among other things, I try to rationalize spending huge amounts of money on items like handbags and shoes. I tell myself, “Nicky, you have a fashion blog, you have to own these things.” or “It’s just like your husband’s electronics” or “You’ll make dinner every night at home.” (to offset the cost, which is a BIG lie!) I struggle with if it is okay that I enjoy fashion, designer stuff and shopping or if it is just really superficial and a waste of time and money…
Sometimes I’ll catch myself making my stories sound bigger, better, more exciting than they really were just so I can sound better in the ears of my hearers… I’m really good at making things more dramatic than they really were, causing people to be more sympathetic, more impressed, more whatever I want them to be… what a horrible confession…
Great blog, Anne… I’m excited you’re coming to the team of Lifechurch.tv! Hopefully we’ll meet sometime soon.
WOW. Ok, here it goes. I just LOVE to sit on my couch and do NOTHING. I guess I’m just lazy. But I will just sit there and say “Ok, in ten minutes I’ll get up and do the dishes… ok, next commercial… ok, when I’m done reading this chapter”. I have to kick my own butt off the couch sometimes! And here’s the worst part. I’ll get off the couch (or out of bed) to go volunteer somewhere or go to work but I have a hard time getting up to just do things around the house that need to be done.
Whew! I feel better already!
I am seriously tempted to state the “half truth” when asked pointed questions about my time and activities (cf. the email I sent you a while back) because nobody is there with me 24/7. I can get away with it…well…not really, but you know…
Ugghh…
I am a hypocrite…Sometimes I pretend to be more spiritual than I am, especially when it comes to prayer.
When people ask for prayer, I say to them “I will pray for you”…
Then I forget, and when they ask, I say a 2 second prayer for them and say, “Yep!”
I hate that!!! I hate being someone that I am not, and faking it…
It isn’t as if God doesn’t know I haven’t prayed for them…or someday they won’t know…
When you said…
I shuddered a bit… but I immediately saw my own hypocrasy…
What a sinful person I can be..
I do that with bible study and stuff sometimes…as if God doesn’t know when I spent time wih Him…
I think about this sometimes…
Man this was a good post… Lord heal my heart!!!
Thank you everyone for being so honest and open with the things you struggle with! You guys are awesome and now that it is out for the world to see – welcome to accountability! :)
Some things that you guys have mentioned that are things I have struggled with or are struggling with…..
Kristi – I feel you!!!!
Libby – I do this all the time.
Mike – well, I already told you! But I do this too with voicemails and when I really get them (as in listen) as compared to getting them (sent to my phone) DOH!!!
Anna – I use inflection and words like “forever” or “always” or “never!!” to make it sound more appealing!
Avery – Thanks for that scripture. I have been trying to do better at praying for people when I say I will but I suck at it. I really do.
Wow…God’s grace is BIG….good thing!
Anne, I am so glad that you put up your conclusion post, that means I don’t have to share my dirty laundry. Oh, that’s not what that means? Ok, I struggle with taking care of things, my body, my purity, my talents God has given. I intend to do better every day, but it seems like I often fail more miserably the next day.
i shared a sort of juicy piece of gossip with a non-christian coworker today. it was something i found about over the weekend, and i couldn’t wait to get back to the office to ‘spread the news’. a little later in the day i was like, ‘yeah, way to go, candyce, way to go on spreading the good news…’ so not like Jesus. so yeah, i guess i’m learning how to really be different from the world in a way that makes a difference in the world. hmm… i guess that’s not really altering the truth or misrepresenting exactly. but that’s what’s fresh on my brain when it comes to character stuff today.
When I was younger, I would often prey on others in various ways.
As I grew older, I learned to pray for them instead.
One of those behaviors would bring about millstones around my neck,
the other sets in motion a series of events that plays out for generations to come.
Christianity is the ultimate MLM.
Build your downline.
Um, for starters, spending too much time surfin’ the internet at work….what with your blog and such, what’s a girl to do?! (it’s your fault. :-> )
I recently was thinking about what it was like when there was no internet at work…wow, I must have really put in an honest day’s work. OUCH, that’s awful to admit… debated on whether to leave the word “honest” in or not right there, but it is dishonest, ultimately. Oh, I can rationalize away all the late nights and unpaid (ie “salaried”) overtime that church work requires, but still….
I misuse my time, and then get depressed over things in my life that I haven’t done.