Perfectionism has always been a large part of my personality.
In first grade, my teacher, Mrs. Nelson, busted me for throwing away my homework when my grade was below a 97. I was afraid to take anything lower than that home – not because my parents are psycho – but because I didn’t want to let them down.
A couple of years ago, I was watching old family videos from my third/fourth grade era. I played in a piano recital, received an award and was “interviewed” by my camera-wielding mother after we returned home.
[off camera]
Mom: You did so great, honey! First place! Hold up your Beethoven (I won a plaster bust of Beethoven) so we can show your grandma and grandpa.
Me: (looking flustered and with a gap in my front teeth) Sigh. I didn’t hit all the notes on that one movement.
Mom: But still, you did great!
Me: It wasn’t perfect… (Huffs, puffs, walks off camera, upset).
My dad pointed out that I beat out middle school kids…I was a 9 year old in a sea of teenagers. My mad Mozart skills had trumped them all.
However I was reliving the fact I missed a note on one of my scales twenty years ago.? It still made me mad.
Needless to say…always the perfectionist.
Lately, I?ve been realizing how unhealthy this method of operation is.
It stresses me out. Eats away at my sanity, my sleep, my free time (what’s that?).
Today, i received a nugget of wisdom from someone I?ve respected for a long time and it really kind of kicked me square in the pants…he said (my paraphrase):
?Don?t always make things perfect. Perfectionism doesn?t leave room for imagination.?
Um, wow?
Comments
27 responses to “Perfecting the Art of Not Being a Perfectionist”
I like that quote. I’m not a perfectionist–my wife is. I’m just driven. My mind never stops and usually my body doesn’t either. I hope I will learn to slow down before God makes me.
struggle with that myself…the eternal know-it-all-control freak.
i agree to the standpoint that we do not dabble in mediocrity. i think with things that reside in the subjective, imagination and divergent thinking are so critical.
but what about math..we need math right? oh, how the world would spin if 2+2 was not absolute…
Ooo…I really like that. I used to be more carefree, but now I’m a hard-core perfectionist. It’s exhausting, isn’t it??
Love the title.
thanks for catching the tongue-in-cheek title :)
is that why we’re so tired? i think it’s a mix of perfectionism (motivated by a fear of disappointed others) and a need to control. at least that’s what i’m discovering.
seriously. i wish we lived closer.
Strive for Excellence. Excellence attracts and honors God.
Excellence is Godly, Perfectionism is worldly. They each have 2 different agendas. One is for self, the other id for God.
This is meant to be encouraging, not critical! There needs to be more excellence in the Christian community. There is laziness all around. But we die when we try to be perfect. Here are good definitions…
Perfectionism – the state or condition of being free from all flaws or defects…Not Possible!
Excellence – the quality of being extremely good or outstanding at your task…Very possible!
You gotta hurry up and write this book so you can read it :)
it SO doesn’t. that’s so completely true.
i have some good news on the “support group” endeavor front.
*shreaking with excitement*
like the new look of the blog; i so don’t have this issue. =)
Have you ever had any interesting issues with perfectionism related to working two or three jobs (freelance, church, etc) at the same time? I’m right now working half-time at a church and half-time in video production. I usually love that mix… but about a week ago, I had a very low couple of days. My wife had to drag the words out of me.
The problem: Even though both of my bosses think I’m doing great work for only being there half-time, I feel like a failure.
50%(at one job) + 50%(at the other job) should equal 100% (A+)
But I sometimes feel like:
50% + 50% equals 50% (F)
Allen-this is something I heard once that someone once told me about a similar situation.
“do the best you can with what you have”
sounds to me like you are…now just trust your bosses! :)
I am not a perfectionist, I am a progressionist! Not by the dictionary’s definition, but rather my own personal definition.
Progressionist- An individual addicted to progress e.g. Scott Williams
Ur not a perfectionist anymore.
R. Dean
RD – just ask my husband. Or my boss. Or my coworkers. Or…
I just read something tonight:
“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for. Perfection is God’s business” – Michael J. Fox
i keep trying to type a witty comment here, but i can’t seem to get it just right.
@ Girl Gone Wild: That’s a great quote.
Perfectionism gets in the way of grace. I find that during the times when everything has to be *just right* I’m usually not extending much grace to others…and myself obviously.
I’m working on it…
Good, oh so good.
Some times I just wish I could side hug you Anne Jackson. :)
And Girl Gone Wild that quote is EXACTLY how I would want to say what was in my mind. We must strive for Excellence but Perfection is up to our Father and Lord.
I think I am going to go make a mess or something …
Anne did you see the questions on kindlytalk.com? How would you answer them. Category: The Church and the KGB?
R.Dean
“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things”
-George Carlin
that quote [george carlin] makes me uncomfortable…
i loooove that quote.
love it.
Is there a discussion board/online support group for perfectionists? I desperately need to talk to someone who understands perfectionism, but this site seems like it is for brief entries and I don’t want to bore anyone with my ramblings…they tend to take awhile.
Music was my retreat. I could crawl into the gap between the notes and turn my back to lonesomeness.