first: the confession
i have a prescription. i take it every night with my sleeping pill. the instructions? take daily for stress. yup. and guess what the first question my doctor always asks me when i visit…“how’s your stress level?”
to be honest, i am not doing very well with this whole “simplification” process. granted, i have cut out a few things. but after a routine doctor’s appointment yesterday (for an asthma check up), my respiratory therapist flips through some stuff and gets concerned that my resting heart rate is never, ever below 80. it usually is in the 90-100 range. and when i exercise, a good five minutes in and i’m already hitting 180-190. i joke it’s easier for me to do cardio that way. he gives me a dirty look.
if you know me personally, you know i can be pretty intense. hyper-esque? tightly wound? i’m not really sure how to describe me. “cracked out” was the term i used yesterday when i was talking with our worship pastor, danny. to quote him on part of our conversation, “oh i get it – i thought you might be burning out because of this big book project on burn-out…writing a book definitely does not fit under ‘simplification.’”
yeeeeah.
so, i will be doing more pruning…and not putting so much pressure on this book thing.
======
second: the tip
email is my addiction, my weakness, and my biggest enemy. it’s the first thing i check when i wake up and usually the last thing i check before i go to bed. i have it on my phone too, just in case i am more than four feet away from a computer at anytime.
lately, i’ve noticed what i will call an email explosion in my inbox. lots of questions, comments, book stuff, thoughts, and things i really need to respond to. to help navigate through all the email i have done one thing that has helped a ton…
UNSUBSCRIBE.
goodbye pottery barn, ikea, white fence, west elm, overnight prints, feedblitz, blockbuster, etc., etc., etc. anytime i get a promotional email now, i unsubscribe. it has helped some. if i can’t live without it, i subscribe under another email account i have just for that purpose.
however…or should i say…HOWEVER…i am still finding myself overwhelmed. fifty-some-odd emails a day (and please, if one of them is yours, do not feel guilty!) and i am having a very difficult time finding the time necessary to respond.
i used to think pastors who had assistants email for them was really dumb. now i give them the biggest props for being able to let go…i would totally dig an email assistant to help me organize and reply to the ones who maybe didn’t necessarily need a personal response.
but oh, therein lies the dilemma. i pride myself on the personal response.
oh, there’s my problem.
Comments
35 responses to “attempts at simple – tip 2 – confess & unsubscribe”
Couple ideas . . .
1.) Have you read/checked out “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity”? Also a great website associated with that is http://www.davidco.com. Our department here has gotten real into that book and method. Best Seller right now.
2.) When was the last time you took a REAL full two week vacation AWAY somewhere – leaving the email and work at home? Nancy Beach at Willow use to strongly encourage us, even though knowing how hard this was for most of us, to try and take a full 2 weeks away if we could. For most high energy/creative types, it takes almost a week to wind down before we can even rest/relax for another week. Just do it.
3.) Have you dug in to your past to figure out what’s making you so driven? Who in your past are you still possibly trying to please or gain affirmation from? Hybels always told leaders as one of the “must dos” of leadership – “At some point in life, deal with your “junk.” All of us have issues from our diapers being on too tight . . . or whatever. At some point, deal with it.” I’m doing some of that now myself.
4.) Do you have a hobby outside of ministry, internet, writing, etc.? Hybels had to take up sail boating as a hobby in order to stay sane. His doctor ordered it back when he crashed. What’s your hobby?
5.) When all else fails, there’s always chocolate! :-)
Just a quick hit back – maybe it’s a “pride” thing, like you said, where you “pride yourself on the personal response”. Maybe part of our growth comes in realizing (note to self, too) that we don’t need to respond quickly to every jot and tittle that comes into our inbox. Especially with what might be your increased footprint out there with the book coming and all. Maybe pick an hour each day – or a two hour block on say Tues and Thur – that you respond to emails. Have a standard reply that is “personal enough” for anything just saying HI, and maybe group others around common themes where one response can maybe go to five different emails. Something like that – along with humility (not to self again) to know they’ll get over it if you don’t get back right away. Okay, that wasn’t a quick hit, was it?
It is said that if you do not control your use of your time, then time ends up controlling you. Pastors have the same problem, but often church members don’t have a clue. That is why I sometimes email groups of people telling them why I have to do a group thing. Most people understand.
Of course I have never had an assistant. My churches occasionally had a secretary, but she did other things. You can’t do everything for everyone.
I make a TD (To Do) List of 1-40. I fill in the things I need to do in any order. Then I go back and prioritize, putting 1,2,3,4 to the side of each number after some prayer. I take my #1s and work on them first. Then I follow the list the best I can. Sometimes you must ask for help. Yes Anne that means you too.
You can’t always do it all. Perhaps there is someone at church that might help you.
well how did your potluck at the counry church go? i would think experiencing a church like that and a lifestyle like that, it would help with your simplification process. to see simple and be around simple…. might rub off.
i know you’re trying to simplfy, but you should read the pursuit of god (tozer) again. it has a whole section on the blessedness of possessing nothing.
here’s the chapter:
http://www3.calvarychapel.com/library/Tozer-AW/PursuitOfGod/02.htm
I could relate to your statement that you check your email when you wake up and before you go to bed. I struggle with anxiety now and again (right now because I had five separate things hit me and I can’t resolve them immediately ARG!) and so I find I stay up extremely late when I could be sleeping…or staring at the ceiling.
Anyway, this isn’t about me.
It is hard for us high achievers to simplify. We have so much we want to do and see and be and experience, people we want to get to know, etc. It’s good that you are trying, though. If we didn’t even try, we would truly be like jello against a brick wall….SPLAT!
I’m a bit stressed out on your behalf Anne…whoa! So, OK – do not feel obligated to respond to my email about our son Kota last week… It is for your personal use if needed…And an update on Kota – he seems to be doing much better! Scripture memorization and prayer -aahhh – Duh!
Blessings!! And rest! And lower heart rate!
start writing letters.
If I dont get a new email ever 5-10 minutes I do not feel loved and go on eating binges to make up for it – or I post comments on blogs
Hey – I’m just proud I had a quote in your blog!
I just read this book called “The 4-Hour Work Week” that’s more of an entrepreneur-type book, but his philosophy on simplification is radical, and you should read it – at least that part. He says we all live on information overload for no reason whatsoever. He’s right about that.
Check it out – in your spare time (sorry, not funny)
DD
Breathe in…………………………exhale slowly….tshshshshshshsh
And in…………………………..and out………………………………….
Go caffeine free if not already–or use green tea which is still caffeinated but not as much
Save the caffeine for chocolate consumption
Massage–find a massage school in the area–the students need the practice and they’re cheap. Leave all electronic devices in your vehicle or at home.
Yoga–if you can find a non-mind-bending class
Read only one book at a time. I used to have a pile of 6 books on my nightstand and the pressure killed me. So now, I do one at a time. And its usually by Dr. Seuss or A.A. Milne.
Do not respond to this comment.
For someone who is just coming into ministry, with a similar driven personality to yours, I am thankful to see your genuine side and your honesty with this struggle. Crystal hit it on the head with the Tozer chapter…best chapter of a book ever. When we come to think of it, none of this is really ours…our talents, our dreams, our goals, our relationships, our job…..why do we put “SO” much focus on the gifts rather than the Giver? We obviously use these things to glorify Him, but there is also a reason God put Commandment Number Four into the 10 commandments as a way to glorify Him…and i keep looking, but i havent found the commandment about getting everything done in a timely and balanced fashion. Hmm. I always seem to skip Number Four, even though its ranked right up there with “don’t go killing anyone.” Shoot….I’ve gotta work on this too. Thanks for your honesty.
here is what i do. i turn off the email notifications and im slow to respond to email. people then email me less. it totally works. i do respond but just not so immediately:)
mike.
http://www.ethur.org/blog
It always helps me to schedule a timeframe in my day (like an appointment, or a task) to help me respond to emails. I get a ton of emails from people too, but it definitely helps to have that time set aside everyday.
I don’t think you have to stop giving the personal touch to people who write you emails by responding to them. I just think that perhaps you can plan that time in, and make it less stressful for you in the process.
I agree with Jeremy, don’t lose the personal touch.
Everybody loses that first.
Simplifying is a big topic right now. But I tend to say, if hadn’t responded to that email who may not have been touched by your gift.
I think you just need to walk away, have a strong cup of coffee and a box of Hot Tamales candies, rub the belly, and start again. Oh I was taling anout me. oops!! :)
Ask God Anne… He’ll tell you
Oh I was taling anout me. oops!! :)
This is what happens after there are no more Hot Tamales left in the box.
oops,
Corrected sentence
Oh I was talking about me.oops !! :)
a.) turn off your comments for a week. see how it feels. write because you love to write, not because you love to respond.
b.) remove your email address from public display, wherever that may be.
c.) be very, very nice to your house guest. make sure he has lots of cookies.
find a restorative yoga class…
I’ve told you this before. I’m telling you it will change your life. It’s the best way I’ve found to release physical, emotional and mental stress.
Anne, you are amazingly incredible! ….my caring thoughts…. Is this an attitude of looking toward flight or avoidance? When the real world becomes too unpleasant most people will seek some meeans of escape. Sometimes it is healthy to step back for a moment to take a good look at one’s situation like you are doing. It sounds like you are “owning your issues” and that is a very positive step to getting relief from the stress. I believe healthy solutions to conflict must be sought in terms of reality (vs. fantasy), not in spite of it. God is ultimate reality; it is useless to try to escape from Him. It sounds to me like your goal is harmonious relations with other people. It may cause us to strive for goals valued by society. This is natural and good. Sometimes, however, conflict arises when the values of society clash with our own desires, or with spiritual laws. Social approval should, in the latter case, be forgone in favor of the higher good. (Acts 5:29) The word has no equal. God, through the reading of your blogs, gives those of us in the full-time ministry, PASSION to care. Thanks!
1. Drink more Mango Water.
2. Buy a new green pen.
3. Go watch them pelicans at White Rock spillway.
Which post exactly did I steal? Perhaps my next will then be Works-Cited, at the top of which the AJ nomenclature will stand proud.
I capitalized and spelled correctly in this comment to spare you some of the burden quickened by poor grammar. You’re welcome.
I feel the same way lately. The two things I’ve felt lead to do were:
1. Simplify – just like you’re doing. Prioritize.
2. Take it one step at a time.
The funny thing is, I’ve found that no matter how much advice I get (people, pastors, books, bible), it means nothing until I do something with it – which typically is my problem
;-)
Anne.. I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now and appreciate your candor and topics you discuss. The GTD is a great methodology, however your comment about having an assistant respond to email reminded me of the 4-Hour work week by Tim Farris. (It is currently listed on the NY and Wall Street Journal business bestseller lists.) In his blog (http://fourhourworkweek.com/blog/) he talks about outsourcing everything one possibly can. Maybe it will be helpful in your journey to unplug.
Start by not reading this comment.
I sound like an infomercial, but read Covey’s 7 Habits.
Identify the roles you chose to play in life (for me – Husband, Father, Musician, Friend), then look at your calendar. Any activity that doesn’t support those roles gets tossed, or at least put at the back of the line.
Simple, but not easy.
Stop blogging throught-provoking post. Stop writing great articles. Stop writing that book. I promise you, everything will slow down after that. :)
since you asked for advice…
you’ve told everybody you’ll answer their emails and comments. who doesn’t like feed back?
but, as popular as you’ve become and as far as your influence is spreading, is it realistic?
you’re WAY too young to have some of the symptoms and habits (i.e. sleeping pills, anti-depressants) you have.
you’re an amazing writer and talented artist. that is God’s gift to you and your gift to the world. do you really need to respond to everyone’s emails, have a job, have a family, be part of a big church, and then expect to sleep? forget about it!
Tony is right…if you can. If you EVER get the chance to, go through a time management class by Franklin Covey. It really has (insert cheesy story here) changed my life.
Coming soon to a town near you…(probably.)
just come to l.a. for a week. we’ll hang out and be cracked out together … :)
I know for me that e-mail is an addiction. People always joked about the Blackberry being the Crackberry. The thing for me is that I wanted to prove that I was super human. I could respond to e-mail and do everything. However, I have come to realize that I am not super human. There are only so many things that I can do. I am trying to stop my addiction to e-mail and reply when I can. I think that e-mail provided me a way of escaping the issue that I was facing at the very moment, or is even a way of preventing myself from stopping to face issues that I do not want to deal with. I wish I had a magical answer for this, but as someone who has the same tendency for e-mail, I cannot offer a complete solution. I am just realizing that I do not always have to respond immediately. Truth is being tied to e-mail so much keeps me from being productive in other areas.
This is a lot of crazy good advice. Danny’s going to let me read that book when he’s back from vacation. Thanks guys.
I know…tons and tons of responses…but I really think you should just become a major jerk. Instead of responding to people, send them a “hand gesture”. People will quit bothering you eventually.
Gluttony. It’s the perfect picture of our modern world. And it’s counterpart is self-control. But in a culture that honors self-indulgence that’s very difficult.
It requires us to “pay attention” to our inner life. And our ultimate goal is to find harmony between our inner and outer lives.
Self-control is our protection against losing ourselves. Or as Jesus said, “What good is it if we accomplish everything we “should” when we lose sight of ourselves in the process?” (Ok. Maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that.)
A man who’s pressures of life level was revealed in ‘sweat, wrung from him like drops of blood, pouring off his face’ has joined Himself as one spirit with your spirit and longs to handle this for you… even as you
I recommend Gracewalk, by Steve McVey… An easy read…a life transforming message.
Godbless
Even though he’s chouvanistic, Mark Driscoll did a great video series on his blog Resurgence about burnout.
Funny, I deal with a lot of these same issues (being “cracked up”). I am glued to computers at my job – media productions…
I tore myself away for 30 minutes today for a birthday celebration (at work) — (I rarely break from my office) and someone said to me, “Wow! Thanks for being social.” All I seem to do all day is edit, talk on the phone, edit, answer email, edit, blog… my life is constant interaction, but almost totally through electronic means.
Am I stressed out? Yes.
Do I need rest? Yes.
Do I need to be a round real people? Yes.
Should I unplug? Sure.
Can I afford to? Probably not.
How do we get ourselves into these messes?????
Love your new pic…VERY cool hair
Have a RELAXING weekend Anne
So I totally understand! Instead of preparing for tomorrow’s youth prayer service, Sunday School lesson, children’s team meeting, children’s Fall ministry kick-off and the local Christian college’s church fair day (all of which happens in the next 72 hours)..I am reading blogs about prioritizing..is there a problem here, or is it just me?!? I am taking comfort though in knowing there are others who struggle.
I look at it like any other addiction (although it may not have all the negative consequences as other means of control!). It’s a day by day struggle to let go, give up and move past. Unfortunately, I don’t have any great advice…
One thing I have done lately with some degree of success is use down time.. For example, I watch WAY TOO MUCH television. However, instead of sitting through the commercials (which cause me to get down since I’m a poor seminary student and can’t afford anything they are trying to sell) I get up and do one or two things that need doing. (vacuum one room, load/unload the dishwasher, read a couple of pages in a text book) It really cuts down on the stress because when I sit down to do my “to-do list” half of the things are done and I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything. Sorry this doesn’t apply to the office more…