as i am simplifying my commitments, i thought i’d share some insights i am learning along the way…a weekly installment maybe?
to update to my previous post on all the crazy things i was allowing to dominate my schedule, many of those things have been eliminated. the action i’d like to talk about today is focus.
for me, earlier this year i had no focus. anything that would cross my path that seemed remotely interesting i’d say yes to and slowly but surely my schedule and sanity started getting eaten away. i was working full time, doing freelance web design, graphic design, writing movie reviews, doing a little bit of radio, consulting with a few churches about identity and branding, reviewing books, and prepping for the announcement of mad church disease. PHEW. i saw all these things as good, i mean, i was helping other churches, and even getting to write some. however, just because they fell in line with my passions (the church and writing) didn’t mean they were the right things for me.
so, these are the things i’ve decided to focus on personally:
*my job – it’s both provision and where i can do ministry
*writing – not just anything, but working on mad church disease, exploring another book option, and select articles dealing with sexual and emotional purity. blogging too. i love you guys. :)
*speaking – to support the topics i am writing about and be able to interact with people who read my stuff
*freelance – i have limited it to three clients with whom i already work. no more, no less. boundaries and schedules with all three.
*people – with the writing and speaking and blogging comes opportunities to meet people, hang out, get coffee or lunch and chat about stuff. this is one of my favorite parts. we get to share what god is doing in our lives and learn!
so, if some opportunity comes along and doesn’t fit inside those categories, no will typically be the answer. and as time progresses, it is easier to say no. practice with me though, it’s also easier doing it together!
Comments
22 responses to “attempts at simple – tip 1 – focus”
Great job, Anne. If you ever get a chance to sit in on one, a Franklin Covey, “What Matters Most” seminar is one of the best I’ve been to. A real help when it comes to focus, weekly, daily and long range planning.
I sound like a salesman now.
Sorry…
That is a great idea. I’ll check that out. And I know he has some great books as well. Thanks, Jeremy!
Focus- I used to drive one of those.. Ha :)
Boundaries are scary!!! Because after you set them, you wonder if the same opportunities will still be there.
In setting a date night – AWESOME
And doing what you love – PRICELESS
Job is a job- like you said provision
Boundaries- good but scary
I like where this subject is going, FOCUS…
What about Church responsiblities and leadership?
Families ~
Finances ~
A really HUGE thing for me Anne, What about DREAMS?
What comes first in focus?
Heidi – I love your questions!
What comes first in focus? God’s plan for me today! Listening…adjusting where I need to.
Church responsibilities and leadership I can’t really define as a “topic” as really they are interwoven through ALL of those topics! I work “at” a church…but my job isn’t necessarily my “ministry” – I consider going and hanging out with various staff people, chatting with them in the halls, etc…more “ministry” than me sitting here designing.
God has definitely placed dreams in my head and heart…and I trust he will reveal what he needs to given the time and His plan!
You’re an inspiration. Thanks for sharing!
I just told my mom the other day that the one thing I need her to pray each morning for me is … focus.
Interesting.
I’ll be following you in your journey to set boundaries and say no to great opportunities if they aren’t the RIGHT opportunities. Andy Stanley talks about this in his book, “next generation leader.” He says, “don’t allow the many good opportunities to divert your attention from the one opportunity that has the greatest potential. Learn to say no. A lack of focus often translates into a loss of vision. When the vision is fuzzy, people can’t follow.” He also suggests making a “stop doing” list. ha! I love it :)
no
I thought I saw focus once, but it was fuzzy
When I went through a separation about 1.5 years ago, I had to settled and refocus my priorities.
Mine:
1. Personal Relationship with God: The first year I was doing so good at this. This year, I have turned it up a notch.
2. Be the best father. Period. There is no way around this. My son needs me and I need him in my life. I will never abandoned him and I will take full advantage of the promise my ex-wife gave me when she told me that I visit him every day.
3. Invest heavily in friends and meeting new ones.
4. Continue to work on the relationship with the ex-wife: We cannot be on eggshells whenever we are both around my son.
Not dating. Not putting “the cart before the horse” so to speak and trying to look forward to getting married again or some such. (Especially when I am not divorced.)
The results? My life has been nothing but blessed and rewarding. The friends that I have made and grown to love have given me so much in return with their friendship.
Despite it all, I am the wealthiest man in the world.
Sounds like a selah moment. Simplify! Of course, simplification can take time and effort.Busy, busy busy! (grin) I often find turning off all the noise means it can get awfully quiet.
Husband #1 focus is vital. My hubby and I have been married almost 40 years and the “Date Night” is what has kept our marriage burning bright! It will keep your relationship exhilarating! What you give up to others during the week, comes back to you a zillion times as your focus is on each other! I call Friday Night Date Night a way to “wow” my man! “NO” is my #1 cheer!
I think there are those of us who find life to be so interesting that we could dive into any number of pursuits (and have) and end up doing many things pretty well, but accomplishing very few things completely. I have done this a lot in the past and just last year felt G-d telling me to focus as well. It was difficult to do because I wasn’t doing anything overtly wrong and I enjoyed all the different things I was doing, but I was spreading myself so thin that I wasn’t finishing many things. Once I focused, though, and brought things down to a manageable level I began to see good results. As for boundaries, good job! Saying “no” can be difficult at times, but it does pay off well in the long run. I heard a saying at a training seminar for a ministry in my area. “We say no so that we can say yes.” meaning, they say no to things that are not within their vision and mission, so that they can say yes to the people who come for assistance for things they really need.
Thanks for this post. I’m finding myself in those overcommitted shoes more often these days. And while all of them are great things to put energies towards, the more things I commit to means the less energy I’ll be able to focus in one direction or another. Thanks for reminding me that its okay to say “no” to even those great things, and for working towards the prevention of some nasty burnt out people!
Good post. I wonder if more people focused, and people started saying “no” in line with their focus what things would not get done…
I bet those things that would not get done are those things that are time suckers (in life, and in ministry) that are pretty low value but dominate so much time.
+1 on Jeremy’s recommendation – if you haven’t read Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, go read it. Good stuff.
I wish you were writing this 12 years ago…I learned the hard way…but you have brought this as a reminder to e to not feel guilty saying “no”. Thanks
That’s an impressive list of things :P
This is a tough one for me, with hobby researching, gaming, online community building etc. – It’s something I have to sit down and do right, and ACTUALLY IMPLEMENT things I decide on. That’s my biggest failure, following through.
I’ll be honest, I don’t seem to be able to have time to even read blogs without having strains in my brain (feeling a bit rushed). All this with just work being mandatory.
I do remember times when I was doing waay too many things. Saying “no” is hard, but learning to say “no” is necessary, especially when there are so many needs around you.
Thanks & God Bless ‘_^
Those sound good…I’m feeling quite challenged today! Good luck…
i’m trying to get better at that word myself…
taco diner
Anne,
Good call. This is very inspirational and I need to hone my list as well.
we need to talk to soon.