Category: Uncategorized

i turn 27 on monday.? if you’re new here, read my last birthday post to catch up.

a friend turned me on to a new band.? and consequently, i found this song.? which i officially and hereby dub the song of my twenty-seventh year.

There are songs to be sung,
And pages to be filled with memories.
There are roads to be traveled in places I have never seen.
There are postcards to send,
And so much beauty just to take in.
There are dreams to be chased,
And friends to be held more dearly.
There is love to be seen more clearly.
There are fears to be faced,
And tremblings to understand.
There are new days to brave,
And all this foolish pride
To lay down in your hands.

[ode to new grass – the gloria record]

i am taking monday off work, spending the first part of the day at a spa getting massaged, facialed [extracted, if necessary], manicured, pedicured and the last part of the day with twenty-five-ish of some of my dearest friends (and newest friends) at a dinner & movie screening of the new Jim Carrey film, 23.

Fun will be had.? Photos will be taken.

When’s your birthday?

Ok…I am wondering if Los was eating too much at re:Create or what, but we haven’t had an official Fat Ragamuffin weigh in for a while. Anyway, here is the latest from Texas…

1/1=162
1/8=159
1/15=158
1/22=156
1/31=154
2/6=152
2/13=150

Still pretty steady. Surprising considered my Friday night binge on Pei Wei and The Nestle Cookie Store. Also, I thought to help hold my lazy butt accountable, I’d post the dates I worked out. Minimum Goal is 3 a week.

Last week:
Tuesday – 35 cardio
Wednesday – 35 cardio
Thursday – 25 cardio, 15 weights
Saturday – 35 cardio

Some of that was actual jogging. As in not walking. And I’m still alive! Woohoo!

The rest of you – speak up! Let the news be heard. How’s it going?

was very busy.

but nothing got done.

ever had a day like that?

i have no idea why in the world my spirit is reacting to anna nicole smith’s death the way it is.? i am SO incredibly heartbroken over it.? i never really followed her much, except whatever was on a TV interview i’d happen to catch or the trimspa ads.? she grew up just an hour or so away from dallas, so the media here has been all over it – talking to people in her hometown of mexia (ma-hee-ah), just a little south of dallas.

in her last interview, which was shown on the today show this morning, you could see she had given up hope.? there was not a single light on in her eyes.? her slouched over shoulders and the way her non-expressive facial movements made me want to go back in time, find her, and be her friend.

all the woman needed was a friend.

they keep saying over and over again – she died alone…she died alone…

that just really, really sucks.? she was such a beautiful woman, who was no more or less human than you or me.

anyone else?

*note the photo below is a posed sneeze. i couldn’t get Photo Booth open in time to capture an actual one.

Ok, so Los has pimped me. Now I will return the favor, as well as get on board with his “Fat Ragamuffin” club. Los has lost like 30 pounds, probably more…doing Weight Watchers but most importantly, he has gotten healthy. Seeing his before and after pictures and videos, you can see that even a lazy worship leader can lose weight. (I am kidding on the lazy part, the guy is a crazy mad-man).

So I too, join hands with the Fat Ragamuffins. Although I wouldn’t consider myself obese, I am going to publicly display my lowest, wedding day, highest, current, and goal weights here – and what I am doing to get there. As a female – this is scary! But I want to be healthy and FEEL healthy too. I DARE YOU to do the same. Yup, that’s a dare.

• Lowest = 128 in 2002. This was NOT healthy for me. I am almost 5’6″, and athletic (well, was). I was really bony and this was during a stressful time in my life. I was not eating properly at all.
• Great = 140 in 2003. This was and is my ideal weight. I felt great, looked great. Then brownies every week…that led to…
• Highest = 167 in 2006. This was right before Scotland in September. YIKES. I was not feeling good, my gallbladder was acting up, and I certainly was not eating healthy.
• Current = 154
• Healthy & Goal = 140-145. Weight fluctuates you know.

I lost some of the weight after having my gallbladder surgery – not eating very much for a couple of weeks helps. But once my appetite came back, and then the holidays, I gained 8 pounds BACK (thank you stupid snowman cookies), putting me around 162 for New Years.

So, I started this “water diet” – which isn’t much of a diet at all. You drink a full glass of water before, during, and after each meal and supposedly the weight comes off. I have changed my eating habits and have started exercising too, so in the last few weeks I am 8 pounds lighter and back down to 154. I figure a couple pounds a week and in a few months I’ll be back down at 140-145ish. I haven’t seen a number in the 140’s in over a year!

I’ll post updates every Tuesday.
Do you wanna join in?

so, when you pray for your spirit to be broken, and expect it to happen. it does. it is the whole “sorrow without despair” thing i mentioned last week. my heart has been put through the wringer lately in many aspects:

• my gifts [how and where and when am i using them? do i even know what they are or am i wishing?]
• my creativity [i am feeling extremely lacking in this area]
• my work [lots of projects, no time, desiring to get ahead of myself]
• my freelance [i want to do some volunteer work, but i have so many bills to pay…]
• my estrogen [why do girls feel they must compete? not just in the looks area, but in all areas of life? and maybe it is not girls in general, but just me? why must i compete? it’s stupid. i feel like a dog that wants to piss everywhere to claim my territory and get all offended when someone crosses over]
• our finances [we are paying our bills, all on time, but are left with practically nothing at the end of it all. our needs are met, but it gets scary, and there never seems to be an end in sight]

So all of these areas that have been pressing on my heart lately. Squeezing out every last bit of integrity I can muster just to ask myself:

“do you mean what you say…when you say you’re committed? can you be patient? humble? can you trust? really?”

I have been reading 1st Timothy lately. Probably four times in the last week, hoping to pull some encouragement and insight from Paul’s letter. Absorbing it. And trying to remember it.

On another note, I had a nice surprise on my door frame after our staff meeting. It was one of those little Dove chocolate wrappers and someone had taped it up for when I returned. It said:

Make a list of your dreams

I’m sure this person meant this as an encouragement, and it was – as much as it is funny, as I am the queen of list makers (color-coded, mind you). But what stood out more than the quotation was the trademark:

Promises Message

It was just another reminder that I am promised a future, that He will take care of me, all my anxieties listed above, and whatever dreams I may or may not list. I am promised a unique gifting. I am promised so much – even when I can’t make sense of any of it. Even when it hurts as I am trying to figure it out.

What are you promised?

all a girl needs

to get through the day

is little cup of peace

i like to call

chocolate pudding.

I have learnt to love you late, Beauty at once so ancient and so new!
Saint Augustine