Anne Marie Miller

Category: Sex

  • my trip to the strip club

    next week, i am heading down to visit some of my friends at healing place church in baton rouge.? on my itinerary is “midnight outreach” – a late night trip to some of louisiana’s finest strip clubs.

    i have to admit, i’m a little nervous about it.? growing up the daughter of a small town, southern baptist preacherman, i never envisioned one day i’d be hanging out in strip clubs for jesus.

    but for every ounce of nervousness, there’s about a gallon of excitement.? i can’t wait to meet these girls and let them know how beautiful they are and how loved they are.? chances are, they haven’t ever really heard that in a meaningful way before.? and yet they are so beautiful.? they are so loved.

  • can boys and girls just be friends?

    i’m doing some research for something…

    and similar to, but not as focused as my post “sex rules” (wow, did that one get a little crazy or what?)…

    can boys and girls just be friends?

    and to what extent?

    if you’re married? single? how do you keep it healthy? without being legalistic?

    what does it mean to “honor your marriage?”

    do people shut down potentially thriving relationships because it’s with a member of the opposite sex? how is this approached differently between believers and those who aren’t (especially since divorce rates are identical to each other).

    how is this looked at from the viewpoint of those not in america?

    are all emotional or intellectual connections between members of the opposite sex potential hazards to their respective marriages?

    how much investment or relationship can or should married members of the opposite sex have with each other?

    all skate…just share your thoughts on as much or as little of this as you want…whatever they are.

  • The Week of Hot Sex

    what the?

    yep.

    as some of you know, i am buddies with the guys over at deadly viper, and they let me do some cool stuff over there…(like blog…) because as we know, the seven deadly assassins don’t just target guys.

    so next week, we are having a very frank discussion about sex on the deadly viper blog.

    and we want your questions.

    nothing is off limits. at all. don’t believe me? read the post mike has up today.

    feel free to post your questions here or if you’d rather keep it private, feel free to email me at anne {at} flowerdust {dot} net.

    NOW…

    i realize some people think we talk about stuff like this to the extreme level we do for sensationalism or to create a buzz or just to get comments.

    please hear my heart when i say

    THAT IS NOT IT AT ALL.

    we realize that just because we are christians…it doesn’t mean we don’t struggle with things, or wonder things, and wonder what the bible says (or doesn’t say) about sex.

    this will be uncomfortable. even when mike, jud and i were emailing today about next week, i was literally squirming in my seat too. i was uncomfortable. and chances are, if you were to ask me these questions face to face, i’d blush and stutter and sweat.

    but hey, blogging just might allow us to be a little more vulnerable. to have time to process things and respond. and to ask and answer questions appropriately…just a little bit more easily, perhaps.

    (also, feel free to comment anonymously).

    i look forward to the conversation.

  • sex rules!!

    ok, married people, sex does rule (cue 80s lingo flashback…now).

    but that’s not what we’re going to talk about.

    i’d like for us to discuss THE sex RULE.

    “the rule” (for lack of a better term) that most churches have which states a married woman and a married man cannot be alone (car rides, office time, counseling, meals, travel, etc.) with a member of the opposite sex that is not his or her spouse.

    all of the churches i have been employed by have “the rule.”

    yet, i was talking with a friend who is also on staff at a church who does not have the rule. he thinks it’s a little legalistic.

    another friend said,

    “you know that whole theory where people live up to the expectations set before them? to me, this rule says, ‘we don’t trust you to make wise decisions on your own, so we’re enforcing a rule that might help keep you out of trouble.’ of course people are still having affairs and getting involved inappropriately. they’ve already been told they can’t be trusted!!”

    one church i was on staff at a while back had the rule, and yet within a couple of years, four staff members, including three in public leadership, had affairs. and this happens all the time. to churches with “the rule” in place.

    so…what do you think? is “the rule” necessary? should husbands and wives involved in church leadership set “their rule” instead of the church? does it really prevent anything? or is it a darn good idea that protects leaders? what do your “rules” look like if you have any??

  • a courageous tale of grace – chapter 3

    cindy continues,

    My Word From God

    I needed to hear from God. The state of confusion that I lived in at this point in my life was extremely overwhelming. Many wise people in my life were telling me that I didn’t have to make a decision right away, but I couldn’t live with that. Something was calling me to get some clarity.

    Noah and I journeyed six hours down I-35 to my childhood home in Georgetown, Texas. I needed someone to take care of us. That someone was my mom. Not only did she play with Noah, which allowed me time to myself, but she cooked for us and cleaned up after us and rented movies for us and took us to eat Mexican food. She’s a terrific mom.

    But, she also pestered me a little. She was insistent that I go meet with her pastor, Dan Wooldridge. Because I literally had no strength, I didn?t even put up a fight.

    I was surprised how comfortable I was in Dan’s presence. A true shepherd, he listened to my story and watched as tears streamed down my face. I practically begged him to tell me what he thought I should do. He did something better. Here?s what he said:

    “I would respect you if you felt that you needed to remove yourself from your marriage. What you’ve endured is very hard. But, you are not a fool to stay and be a part of the redemptive work in a man’s life.”

    I was and still am absolutely certain that these were the words coming my Heavenly Daddy disguised in a middle-aged Baptist minister’s voice. I knew it immediately. Nearly six years later and I still remember this quote from him, word for word.

    And I’m so glad my mother was a pest :)

    Comment Here

  • why i can’t have kids

    It’s true. You know it.

    [courtesy: nataliedee.com]

  • how last night went

    it was amazing. thanks for praying. the nerves were calmed well before i went up on stage. i don’t remember most of what i said, which is a good thing…because it probably means it wasn’t me doing the talking. we had a great Q&A with them afterwards (lots of really thought-provoking questions you would never imagine a teenager would write about sex) and i can’t believe i haven’t done this sooner. it was definitely a great experience (thanks to jamie and dalton for making me feel comfortable!) and i’d do it again in a heartbeat! thanks again for all your prayers, and emails, and text messages. you guys are awesome and it’s great to know the Church is out there covering me in prayer – even if i’ve never met you! some of you emailed and asked if you could get a copy of the night’s message. well, we did record the evening, and as soon as i get the mp3, i’ll upload and link to it.

    sunday night at 9pm (CDT) i’ll be on 89.7 PowerFM here in Dallas on PowerTalk Live. you can listen online here if you want to. same subject matter – porn! we will open the phone lines up around 9:15-9:20pm to take live questions on air.? you can call 214-787-1897 locally or 1-866-787-1897 if you’re not from DFW. i know a few girls have emailed me about their stories, so if you have the time and the desire, it would be great to have you girls (and guys) call in (even from out of state) to share your stories.

  • talking to the big guy upstairs

    if you wouldn’t mind, say a wee prayer for yours truly. tonight is the night…the night i speak at the net, our high school program, on one of our campuses (the mesquite campus, across from the town east mall if any of you dfw people want to drop by – next to target!)? anyway, the party begins at 7 pm, and i’ll probably be doing my part of the talk around 7:30-7:45.? after me, the student pastor is going to talk for 15 minutes, and then we’re going to do a Q&A.

    the whole night is about sex and porn so please pray that god will have our hearts and minds completely and use us to speak whatever truth he wants them to hear tonight.? also, for the kids…after it’s all over we are going to be hanging out to talk to anyone who wants to meet individually, so that they will have courage to approach us, and that we’ll be able to help them…

  • An Emotional Affair

    If you’ve watched TV recently, you would have noticed emotional affairs is a problem being recognized even outside of our little Christian bubble. On the Today show, they had their resident psychologist on talking about emotional affairs. The show created so much buzz, they had her on again…and again.

    With the introduction of internet communication as well as overworked career minds and the fallout of under met needs, it’s no wonder so many people are struggling getting a grip on their emotions and their thought lives. No longer is it just the stereotypical vice president sleeping with his secretary; but it’s the stay at home mom hooking up with her newly divorced neighbor. The assistant pastor messing around with the woman whose marriage is falling apart.

    And maybe they’re not even having sex.

    As a woman, this is an area in my life I have to constantly guard.

    There’s a book out there called Every Woman’s Battle: Discovering God’s Plan for Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment.

    This book has some valuable information in it. Whether you’re single or married – emotions are something that need to be guarded. They have to be guarded.

    If you’re young – learn how to now. Learn the warning signs early. Guys can have emotional affairs too, so this doesn’t just apply to us girls

    • Are you thinking about someone constantly. Does he or she pop in your head more than a few times a day?
    • Do you dress yourself based on who you are going to see (need to impress?) that day? If you know you might run into a particular person, do you make sure you look good?
    • Are you always anxiously awaiting a phone call or email from a certain person that isn’t your spouse?
    • Do you find yourself thinking, “I wonder if he (or she) finds me attractive?”
    • Do you dwell on thoughts of what it would be like to hug, touch or kiss a certain person?

    Those are some of the red flags mentioned in Every Woman’s Battle that show you might be leaning on the line of an emotional attraction that isn’t healthy.

    Especially if you’re married or with someone and you’re having these thoughts – talk to someone right away (but not the person you’re having the thoughts about!)

    The Bible talks about sex (including thoughts or actions) outside of marriage like this:

    “There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact.” (1 Corinthians 6:16a – The Message)

    and a few sentences later:

    “Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does.” (6:18 – NLT).

    Run away-Fast!

    Not just from having sex with someone you shouldn’t be having sex with?but from your thoughts and your emotions.

    We were created to follow our hearts and the desires we feel, but when they lead us away from God’s plan and into someone else?s arms instead (even if it’s just in our imagination), nothing?nothing good can ever come from that.

    This is serious business…and not something to be blown off as just a crush or infatuation.