Anne Marie Miller

Category: Musings/Poetry

  • a sleeping pill after a long dinner

    frail…
    hanging on by a thread
    [strong, quiet, red]
    yet barely attached, and reflections
    of the past cause envy in the present
    soaking and swimming in thoughts
    [to prove that i’m not worthy of this task before me]
    as if you didn’t already know
    fear of their expectations
    my slavery to them
    actually hold some value
    disappointed me, you
    but hidden behind a wall of enamel
    i’m still protected from their knowledge of the truth
    not yours, mine
    ends justifying the means
    presumably
    at least at this juncture
    and here
    i wait.

  • fluctuation

    split
    visible touch
    tangible love
    not reaching far enough
    impossible
    blockade, barbed wire
    my fault.

    [evidently i pull this off well]
    [evidently now even my eyes don’t tell the truth]
    [evidently this “breathing in” still isn’t deep enough]
    [and exhaling is only a reminder]
    [that this breath is not the only thing exiting]

  • paradox

    clearly in this structure
    love; freedom
    sovereignty, never questioned
    but human justification
    can be tempting
    is it my lack of faith?
    or simply a whisper saying
    draw near

    seek…and you will find.

    Holy Cross – San Clemente, Rome
    (Detail of Apse mosaic, 12th Century)

  • tension

    for a rope to have tension,
    two forces must be pulling
    as fiercely as possible
    in opposite directions

    yet called out
    trying to balance
    and understand
    unity
    freedom
    humility
    kingdom

  • smoke and illumination [a valentine’s day memoir]

    no linen napkins. no salad forks.
    [crinkle of cereal bags]
    the air is cold. hot tea.
    [i stayed in the car, thank you]
    wrong turn on main street.
    [never listen to your wife’s directions]
    parking. walking. windy. stamp on right hand.
    [should have left my coat in the car]
    walking. again. windy.
    [jaywalker]
    illumination through the cigarette smoke
    [holding your hand tight. drunken lovers quarrel]
    don’t spend your whole life, waiting for your whole life

  • lady trust

    you are so fragile these days, my dear.
    like a sickly woman, frail
    your skin
    paper-thin
    bleeds easier than it should

  • pride

    when you are slighted,

    you grasp zealously to my heart

    and weave your spindly fingers through and through.

  • surrounded

    i felt incredibly

    warm

    in so many ways last night

    knowing i don’t deserve the

    heater running

    my huge slippers

    favorite pajamas

    the more than adequate comforter wrapping around me

    the more than wonderful person to my right

    or the quietness that whispered me

    and lulled me

    into

    sleep.

  • who you are changes all the time

    i’ll respond
    when things are clearer
    how i long
    to feel Him nearer
    tonight, i was supposed
    to be with you
    instead, alone,
    i had to be
    my brain escaping
    from reality
    and pushing, striving
    to be uniting
    with Him
    in Him only
    can i perceive
    and gain back
    my sanity
    for the madness of
    this world
    washes in
    caves in
    envelops me