Category: Miscellany

Backstory: In 2005, because of the decisions she made to overwork herself and stay busy “doing” things for God and not “being” with Him, in combination with being in a toxic church environment, a girl named Anne found herself in the hospital for  a week, a battery of tests tried to determine why there was so much inflammation in her digestive system.

It wasn’t just that. She gained forty pounds in the two years she was serving in the church full time. She was having panic attacks and acid reflux and was on a diet of espresso and sleeping pills just so she could wake up and go to sleep each and every day.

After the hospital visit, she quit her job, got counseling, and set out on a mission to help anyone serving in ministry stay healthy – volunteers, staff, and friends of those who serve.

That girl was me.

In 2009, the book Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic released through a traditional publisher.

In February 2013, I found out from a  bookstore that when he tried to replenish his stock of Mad Church Disease, the order came back with the error: OUT OF PRINT. Because of whatever happens in the publishing world, they chose not to reprint it after there were none left which meant I never had a chance to buy any. Except for audio, eBook and used copies, they were literally all gone. And those are slowly disappearing too.

This came with no warning from the publisher. After many emails and many hours studying the original contract, I learned this “Out of Print” scare was really a blessing in disguise. Why?

Because now, I have all the rights to every format. Now, I can update it with so, so, so much I have learned from listening to others and in my own walk. I can make study guides for it and offer staff assessments and…well, the possibilities are endless!

(Plus I get to put my sweet new name on it: Anne Marie Miller.)

Since I am wrapping up writing Book #3, I will spend this summer re-writing, revising, updating, scheming, praying over and for this new book.

I won’t lie – when I first heard from the bookstore manager that it was out of print, I was angry. Not because of anything monetary, but because several times a week I hear from someone that says this book truly helped them.

This message is NOT one that can be pulled from the shelves and I vowed to fight tooth-and-nail to make that happen.

I didn’t happen in the way I imagined it, but it happend in the way it was meant to be.

In the fall, after my new website launches, the next “big thing” will be the re-release of Mad Church Disease (and its many helpful counterparts).

For instance…

• The updated book (eBook or print)
• An updated study guide
• A staff or team assessment tool for leaders
• Coaching options
• Web classes
• Private consultations
• Church workshops
• Retreats

With the launch of the new website and all that is and has changed, I want to be sure to keep in touch with those who want to hear about what this new release has to offer. It would mean the world to me if you’d let me have your email address (I won’t do anything with it other than to keep in touch).

With that, for everyone who is subscribed before the re-launch of Mad Church Disease, I promise you not only will you be the first to know, you’ll be the first to have a chance to get it – and a few other things – for free. That won’t be a public offering.

You can sign up below! (*if you have a pop-up or ad block extension, it may not work. if that’s the case, click here and it will go to the form).

Any questions? I’m all ears.

Please accept my apologies for being such a sporadic writer as of late. Inconsistency is one of my least favorite traits and online, I’ve been extremely inconsistent. However, there are four things coming up in the next couple of months that I thought you simply must know!

1) I am finishing my third book. It does not have a title at this point but I am hoping to email the complete first draft to my publisher by this time next week. It has been the most difficult thing to write because, well, it has caused me to reflect much more deeply and try to use words in the best way possible.

I was 27 when I wrote Mad Church Disease. 29 when I wrote Permission to Speak Freely. I’m almost 33.5 (yes, I celebrate half birthdays) so I pray that whatever maturity I have gained in the last four years shows. This book will release in Spring 2014, likely in April.

2) New website PLUS bringing back the old FlowerDust. Since it has been over three months that I have not been Anne Jackson, I realize I should probably change my website. I hired a talented lad named Sam to work on this and he feverishly is doing so. All of my old domains will redirect to the new website once it has launched (likely in August) as to not lose anyone in the shuffle.

I’m excited to reestablish a home online that is both true to my name and has all the good posts from FlowerDust. If you’ve been around since the beginning, you remember that old FlowerDust.net blog and it’s 1000 posts that we are combing through and refining. So all that material (from 2005 – 2011) will be available again. Woo!

3) New email list opportunities!. Everyone I admire says I need one. I trust them. With the launch of the new website, I will start offering a special email list that has what the website has, but then has a little bit more. I’m excited about the way email lists have returned and I’m excited to share new content with you! What do you think about the resurrection of the email list?

4) I was going to include a fourth thing you must know, but I decided it was worthy of its own little announcement (and no, mom, I’m not pregnant). How about I talk about that one Monday. Cool? Cool.

See you Monday. You will not want to miss this bit of exciting news! If you don’t follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you might want to just in case.

I don’t like hyping things up, but the announcement on Monday is super, super exciting!

Have a great weekend –

Anne Marie Miller

Wow, oh wow: How much the Interwebz have changed since I removed myself from them a couple of years ago. The big mediums are still around: blogging, Facebook, Twitter (with some additional ones like Pinterest I just can’t seem to want to embrace). But how people interact has changed, and that has caused me to first, adapt; and second, take a good look at my own manners online.

I consider myself a newbie again, and in the process, I’ve been surprised at how people I’ve interacted with before – online or offline – don’t always have the best manners online. I try to show grace. I know people are busy. I know how we use social media is different, but good manners never go out of style.

Here’s a few rules I try to live by because of how I’ve seen them break (and broken them myself):

1. Keep it friendly. You have every right to your opinion, even if it’s an opposing view. There’s a difference between expressing it and bringing others down by being intentionally defensive/confrontational/unapologetic.
2. Follow through. I’ve had people say “oh, when you post this thing or that thing, I can’t wait to link to it/retweet it/show my world your stuff!” And then they fall off the face of the earth.
3. Answer directly. If someone asks you a question, asks to meet up with you, asks if they can send you their book/album/latest blog post, just give them a direct answer. “Yes, I’d love for you to” or “no, I’m sorry. I just don’t have margin right now to give it a good look.” It takes courage to say no. Man (or woman) it up.
4. Be quick to apologize. I recently discovered I had a few Direct Messages on Twitter that got buried in spam. I saw them when they came in, but they moved way, way down the list. Be honest. Apologize. Make it right when things fall through the cracks.
5. Ask for help. If you truly can’t manage your social media while having good manners, ask for help. Sometimes, I enlist the help of a friend or two to reply to people who just need basic information and nothing specific from me. If I know I can’t reply to email quickly because of travel or deadlines, I turn on an out-of-office response.
6. Acknowledge people. Sometimes when someone contacts you, it doesn’t need a reply, or a simple “thank you” will do. Even if you don’t have time to give them what they need, acknowledge that they’ve reached out to you in some way and point them to someone or a resource that can help them. (If you’re too busy to do this, see Tip #5.)
7. Give yourself – and others – grace. The truth is we will all have things that fall through the cracks. Text messages, emails, Tweets…Realize for every time you’ve had someone not reply to you, you’ve likely not replied to someone. If it’s important, check in with them again and give them some grace. It’s true…what goes around, comes around.

What about you? Anything to add?

For the last six months (or three years, depending on who you ask), I’ve been working on my third book. At first, it was going to be about riding my bike across the country and learning lessons in community along the way. But then some not-so-great life stuff happened and I needed a respite. A year later, I thought it was going to be about how to live in the present moment. That idea didn’t work out so well because I learned along the way I was doing too darn good at running from the present moment.

But then my editor said to not think about it for six months. Don’t talk to him about it for six months. Do nothing about it for six months.

I’m so glad God has put smart people in my life.

During that six months, I was able to take a breath and look back at what was making my heart beat. What was the one message I had to tell? That I’ve lived, am living, and will always live and love?

We landed it. I’ve been working on it since.

Presently, it is very much in the [Crappy] First Draft* situation. But at the end of this month, I get to turn this [C]FD in to Thomas Nelson and in about ten months or so, you’ll be able to buy it.

People have asked me what it’s about…and I wish I had a title for it (for some reason, that part just hasn’t illuminated itself to us) so, in a nut shell (as it sits now, which is both subject and likely to change in the editing process):

It’s about vulnerability in relationships, particularly those with other believers. It’s going beyond the word “community” and talks how to figure out how you relate to others, and themes of vulnerable and committed relationships. It offers characteristics for both when you “need a person” and for when you need to “be the person” as we carry each other through life.

I’d love to hear any feedback you have – questions you have about relationships, good experiences, lessons learned, what you feel you need when it comes to having functioning healthy community in the Body of Christ. Feel free to leave it in the comments below or on Twitter or Facebook!

Thanks for hanging in the interlude with me the past three years!

*[C]FD is my PG13 translation of an Anne Lamott expression.

 

Below are some places Tim and I will be visiting and speaking at this coming Summer and Fall! If you live close by, please let us know as we’d love to meet you and pass some high fives around!

If you are interested in having either of us speak, it’s a pretty painless process. Just shoot me an email  and we’ll work something out!

July 7, 2013
Passion Church
Davenport, IA

July 22-26, 2013
Harvest Bible Chapel Junior High Summer Camp
Private Event – with Tim Miller

September 17, 2013
Calvin College
Grand Rapids, MI

September 24, 2013
The Rising – 20s/30s Worship Night
Quad Cities Prayer Center
Davenport, IA

October 6, 2013
Fusion Church
Buford, GA – with Tim Miller

October 23, 2013
Malone University
Canton, OH

December 1, 2013
Embrace Church
Sioux Falls, SD

December 3, 2013
University of Sioux Falls
Sioux Falls, SD

 

[Note: The engagement took place at The Establishment Theatre where Tim is in an improv group with ComedySportz!]

When my husband Tim asked me to marry him (which started a slew of Instagram photos of the event), a few of you asked us to tell our story.

Well, Tim’s a) incredibly thoughtful; b) incredibly creative and c) a professional videographer. So once he set his plan in motion – which took two months of sneakiness – he knew every moment would be documented. Sure it’s nice to show off to the family & friends, but our real hope in this is that others see Christ’s love in us. That is only where our love for each other can begin.

One of the things I love most about Tim is his intentional pursuit of me, as a woman. A passionate, Godly man who pursued? It was a rare trait. So women, take heart! They do exist! As you watch (or read) our story (it’s in the description part of the video), it will give you context to how he proposed the way he did. All of the crazy elements of the proposal had significance to our story!

Here’s the video below, but for the full description, you might want to click over and watch it on its YouTube page. We hope you are encouraged by it, inspired by it, and that most of all, you will see how a redemptive God can take two broken people who love Him and join them together for His work.

 

“How have you stayed so happily married for 46 years?” a performer asked the couple at the front table at the comedy club where Tim was doing improv and I was in the crowd, cheering him on.

“Always do what your wife says!” the older gentleman laughed, as did the rest of the crowd.

“What about you?” the performer turned to the wife.

“He’s right!” she said, which was followed by more laughter and a congratulatory cheer.

Every weekend Tim performs at ComedySportz, if there’s an anniversary, that dialogue is pretty much the only scripted thing – and not intentionally so. That phrase, “always do what your wife says!” has become a funny way of dealing with the tough realities of marriage.

Last week, after an exhausting and amazing time speaking for a few thousand high school students, I found myself on a mountain top (literally, not metaphorically) – excited about what God did at the summer camp and about the current project I was working on up on that mountain, but my faith was dry. I checked out fundraising efforts and we had only raised 3 percent. THREE PERCENT.

So, like any rational, emotionally exhausted woman who was discouraged and lacking faith, I canceled my flight and refunded the supporters who contributed. I deleted my post on my blog where I asked readers to support us.

I told Tim and gave him a perfectly logical explanation of why canceling my flight and not going on the trip was a good idea. I used words like “a sign from God” and lots of math. With the trip just three weeks away, it was impossible.

As we stood on a patio, I started crying. Here was our first opportunity as man and wife to serve in an area of the world we felt so led to and work with an orphanage which we know we are called to, and I canceled the trip. I was terribly confused; both trying to be practical but having faith at the same time. Tim finally said how much we needed to do this, together, and that we’d do whatever it took to raise the money we were asking for.

I talked to the airline and was able to reinstate my ticket at no cost. We’re sending support letters out this week and raising money at our church on Sunday. And even though I feel knots in my stomach by posting this ask online again, I’m doing it anyway.

Would you consider giving to our trip?

We’ve broken it down into three categories:

• Tim & I are contributing at minimum 20% of the amount.
• We are praying our church will contribute 10% of the amount.
• And we are trying to raise the rest, which is 70%.

And in a nutshell, this is what we’ll be doing:

• Partnering with Gentle Hands orphanage, we’ll be telling their story through video and photography they can use to help raise awareness and funds for the children and the orphanage.
• I’ll be helping the director of the orphanage develop strategic fundraising ideas and maybe implementing one as we are there which will help raise money for school supplies for the sixteen children.
• I’ll be using my education in family sociology to connect with the children and the community.
• We’ll also participate in any “hands on” work the orphanage may have (repairs, etc.)

If you’d like to give online, you can click here and give through our YouCaring site. If you’d like us to mail you a formal letter, we’d be happy to. Please just email me your mailing address.

Many lessons learned here: Don’t always do what your wife says; when your faith is weak, don’t give up; and when you truly rely on God to provide, it can be a scary…but exciting adventure.

(A reflection from 2011…)

Last night, after organizing and budgeting, I was packing up my mess from the den, about to head into my room to go to sleep. The family I live with came home, and it was almost as if [the wife’s] maternal instinct was on high alert. She came directly up to where I was and asked how my day was. What ensued was not pretty…gobs of mucous flowed like a river. I was struggling. My pile of unexpected bills was growing, and my income is nowhere near what it used to be. More than financially, I was wrecked over the fact I am not spending as much time as I think I need to writing — simply due to the amount of hours in a day, I can’t commit the hours like I was able to in my former life.

She said something that has been stuck in a loop in the synapses in my brain…

“Do you want relief? Or do you want to be healed?”

Of course, in the moment, in the now, I want relief. I’m thankful much of the intense and acute grief of what happened last year has been recovered and that emotional pain has subsided a good bit. However, there is pain I recognize in the absence of my trusting God with everything, including the things you and I spoke of yesterday – my purpose and meaning in life.

I feel as if those things that were so secure and were running like clockwork were stripped from me and I had no control as everything was pulled into a vortex. I feel anger and envy in those places, directed at myself, at God, and sometimes toward others. There is grief in losing who I “thought” I was…which is exactly where God wants me to be – completely uncertain of myself apart from anything other than Him. I know He doesn’t intend it in a sadistic, punishing way, but in the refining way we always hear about and generally allow to fall on the trail of clichés we leave behind us like breadcrumbs – boring, plain, stale, and easily forgotten.

It’s obvious the healing process is going to be painful, but in the end, it will not only paint me more in the image of Christ, but through grace and His perfect mercy, perhaps color others whose lives with whom I may come into contact.

Looking back, I see a life that was selfish, egocentric, and insecure.

Do I want that to be my legacy? Is that what I want to pour into others? Is that what I want to reflect?

Sure, I want relief from the “pain” and “injustice” I’ve walked in the last year (those words are in quotes as they are based from my perspective), but to be healed means to be first be broken, to be reset – like a bone.

When I had my heart surgery, they had to go in and burn the broken spots. I should be praying for more of those broken spots to be burned, so my heart can be made whole. Whole doesn’t mean perfect or without evidence of pain.

Whole means whole.

Deep down, I do desire that – that wholeness, which many spiritual leaders say is brought in two ways: through prayer and through suffering. And maybe deep down, more than writing, more than advocating, more than being someone people can rely on…maybe that is my purpose. To be like Christ.

And maybe, just maybe, that is a purpose that belongs to us all.

With everything that’s gone on in the last few years, I’m getting the chance to revise and repackage Permission to Speak Freely and release it under my new name , Anne Marie Miller. From what I’ve heard from my publisher, there are only a couple hundred of the current version left in Thomas Nelson’s warehouse.

Since I don’t think I’ve ever done a giveaway on this website, I thought I’d go a little old school and give away a few of those books. There are no more like them being produced (instead, Nelson has slightly changed the format, cover, and interior of the ones that will hold retail over until the revised version comes out).

If you haven’t purchased a copy of the book yet, you can try and win one here!

HOW?

Just leave a comment telling me one thing you feel like you can’t say in the church (and you can leave it anonymously as long as you give me a good email address in case you win).

Next Tuesday, May 14 at 10 am CST I will use Random.org to generate five random numbers based on how many comments are written. Those five numbers will each win a signed copy of Permission to Speak Freely AND a random book from my personal library. It could be a coloring book or some awesome new best seller…you just won’t know until you get it.

Go ahead and enter — leave a comment (or two or three) and tell your friends who you think might like the book! I’ll email the winners on May 14! Good luck!