Anne Marie Miller

Category: Mad Church Disease

Do You Feel Tired? Do You Need Some Joy? Maybe This Will Help.
I was shocked by her reply.

“I’m beyond burned out. I’m apathetic. I don’t even care if I can get healthy anymore.”

I’ve researched and studied about church health since 2007. I’m still requested to speak about staying healthy when you’re in the church. It should be easy: the church is the safest place in the world, right?

But when I step off a stage and talk to people, I’m learning that more and more people are going through the motions.

They’ve lost joy, they’re afraid, they’re tired, they’re sick. And it breaks my heart more than ever.

As much as I talk about staying healthy, I often find myself walking the fine line between being balanced, consistent and falling off a cliff into a hole of apathy myself.

When the holidays approached last year, my anxiety skyrocketed. I tripled my anxiety medicine. I went on a strict diet. I did all the right things just so I wouldn’t have a breakdown. Lots of time with God. Lots of time with others. And I survived.

In that season, I felt compelled to write a devotional. Something short but deep. Something based on scripture and the grace that we don’t need to DO anything for God. Practical application of what the Bible says about our health: spiritual, relational, emotional and physical.

What does the Word say about rest? About prayer? What is one teeny, tiny thing we can do each day to help us focus and return to a healthy path?

Beating Burnout: A 30-Day Guide to Hope and Health is what resulted. Mostly written in our car as we drove from Tennessee to Texas, Texas to Iowa, Iowa to Tennessee over Christmas and New Years.

It was written in real-time. The day I struggled with anger and apathy, I dug into Scripture and wrote what I felt God pressing into my heart about anger and apathy.

Today, this book officially releases. It’s my very first self-published attempt. (Side note: Self publishing is not for the faint of heart. Thank you to those who carried me through the last month when I wanted to give up seventeen times.)

But here’s what this book is:
- It’s 30 days of short reflections on all aspects of your health and a focused prayer time each week.
- It’s founded fully in scripture, and I believe that spending time in the Bible each day can only strengthen our relationship with God.
- It’s my heart to see those who have been hurt or who are hurting for and by the church healed and full of joy.
You can buy the book three ways:
- For $4.99, you get all the eBook formats: Kindle, Nook, PDF, iBook…PLUS you get the book FREE on audio. I read all the chapters so you can listen to each one for 30 days if you’d rather listen than read. This is an immediate download after you pay.
- For $7.99, you get a paperback copy (which will ship in a couple of weeks) and an immediate download of the free audio book.
- Or, for $9.99, you get all the above: the paperback in a few weeks, and instant access to the eBooks and the audio book.
All of the proceeds from the book directly go to support Tim’s and my ministry efforts of speaking, writing, and storytelling.

Thanks for letting me share this with you. If you don’t like it, I’ll give you your money back. If you love it, I hope you’ll share it with anyone you know who could maybe use a little joy and rest.

(A special thanks to Tim Miller, Lindsey Hartz, Justin Paschal, Rebecca Cooper and Alex Moore for the time you poured into this with me!)
February 4, 2014
What Questions do You Have about Church Burnout or Staying Healthy?
As many of you know, the next month or two promises to be exciting!

I’m releasing a thirty-day devotional called Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope and Health (which will be an eBook, a paperback, and a free audio book) in addition to releasing an expanded edition of my first book, Mad Church Disease: Healing from Church Burnout (as an eBook and a paperback).

It’s been so great (and yet, so heartbreaking) to write the new material.

I continue seeing how burnout is affecting sons and daughters of God.

In no way are either of these books focused on church bashing, negativity, or cynicism.

It’s my hope that they’re full of light, practical steps, and overflowing with how much God loves you and you don’t need to earn His love.

The expanded material includes:
- new chapters
- an expanded study guide
- a more in-depth burnout assessment
- plans you can print to help you get healthy
- …lots of fun things!
If you’d like to find out when Beating Burnout and Mad Church Disease are available to buy, just sign up here! (use the link if you don’t see the form below).

Healing from Burnout

*(I won’t use your email address for anything else!)

As part of the resources I’m providing, we’re shooting video interviews with pastors and leaders (and not just the ones who speak at conferences!) but local pastors here in Nashville and the surrounding area. If you are a pastor or have served in a church and have a story about burnout and health, we’d love to chat and potentially interview you, if you’d like to share your story. I married a professional videographer (lucky!) so we can come to you or you can come here, whatever works best! Just contact us.

We have a couple of interviews this week, including one with Dr. Thom Rainer, who’s the president of LifeWay Resources and has often shared about staying healthy in ministry in his own communication.

If you have a question about church burnout you’d like to have answered, or have questions about getting or staying healthy (spiritually, relationally, emotionally, or physically), it would be great if you’d leave your thoughts in the comments here.

I realize it is not easy to talk about burnout, but here’s the thing. If you’re close to it or in it, you need to talk to someone. If you know someone who’s close, you need to talk to them, support them, offer help. It’s amazing to me how, when I go somewhere to talk about burnout, people come up to me before or after my session and say, “I can’t come to your session. I’m here with my team and I don’t want them to know how close I am to losing it.”

As Christians, we feel like we have to have everything together in order to be effective for the Kingdom. This is not the case.

If we had everything together, we wouldn’t need the Cross. We wouldn’t need Jesus. When we say, “I need help,” we’re inviting in more of His love, and we’re reaching out in faith for others to help carry us.

I need you to help set this example.

May you have an amazing day and just know how much our Lord loves you!

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Want to share this?

[Tweet “I continue seeing how burnout is affecting sons and daughters of God.”]

[Tweet “God loves you and you don’t need to earn His love.”]

[Tweet “We feel like we have to have everything together to be effective for God. This is not the case”]

[Tweet “When we say, “I need help,” we’re inviting in more of His love”]
January 29, 2014
Is Burnout Beating You?
I’ve been in the process of adding some helpful stuff to the 5th Anniversary Expanded Edition of my first book, Mad Church Disease which launches next month (woot!)

In that journey, I realized people were needing something NOW. Something to help NOW.

The emails I get daily show me that burnout is still epidemic in ministry and in the church world and if anything has become more taboo in the last five years, which breaks my heart.

Over Christmas, I sat down and wrote Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope and Health that covers
- rest
- spiritual health
- emotional health
- relational health
- physical health
- and prayer.
Rinse and repeat for five weeks and you’ve got yourself a 70-something page book.

Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope and Health releases as an eBook this week! (The print will follow shortly!)

Each day has
- scripture
- a short and meaningful reflection
- and a section for practical application and a page for notes.
It reads fast because I know you don’t have much time, but I pray it takes you directly to the heart of our Father with no fluff, only grace, and gives you enough action when, after thirty days are over, you find yourself in a healthier and more intentional place than you are now.

Can you do me a favor?

If this book sounds like something you need, can you give me your email address so I can ping you when it comes out? I won’t bother you for anything else. And, if you’d like to spread the word ahead of time, I’ve made some tweets to help you do that!

You can sign up for the email notification here!

Share about it below!

[Tweet “Burned out? THIS > @girlnamedanne’s “Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope & Health” #BeatingBurnout”]

[Tweet “Had enough? > @girlnamedanne’s”Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope & Health” #BeatingBurnout”]

[Tweet “2014 = HEALTH! @girlnamedanne’s “Beating Burnout: A 30 Day Guide to Hope & Health” #BeatingBurnout”]

I am SO GRATEFUL for your support and I truly pray this devotional can help you find hope and health!
January 14, 2014
When God Isn’t In Control

Late last week, I had conversations with two of my unofficial spiritual/career mentors. They’re unofficial because I’ve never asked them, but when we meet, their advice to me always weighs heavy on my decision-making.

One was over coffee at downtown Franklin’s famous Meridee’s. I voiced my current struggles of feeling disjointed in my work: too many voices to manage (“Church Anne” … “Porn Fighting Anne” … “Community Anne”) and my poor decisions to jump into too many things at once. Oh, and the ever-present fears of being self-employed and helping contribute financially to the dreams and plans Tim and I feel God giving us.

[Tweet “I feel afraid even though God’s never failed us. Not once. He has always provided.”]

My mentor honestly called out the truth behind my insecurities, gave me clear direction, and left me inspired and encouraged to move forward.

Then I went to sleep.

Then I woke up with a combination of anxiety and peace (which, of course, I tweeted to the world).

Ever spent your morning in bed praying, “God, HOW am I going to do this? I NEED YOU!” & feeling both slightly terrified, slightly peaceful? — Anne Marie Miller (@girlnamedanne) January 4, 2014

I texted a friend of mine asking her for prayer. Her kind words back to me glowed with Christ and His providence.

Yesterday, as I sat around in my pajamas, slightly fuzzy-headed from flu medication, I caught myself worrying. I was looking at the realities of releasing two book projects this year and an internet platform that looks entirely different than it did five years ago, when I first started writing. How can I expect to earn a living doing this anymore?

I count the stats, the numbers, and I inject them into a vein of self-worth. Does it boost my spirits? No. It begins atrophying.

And maybe it was because of the flu meds that my inhibitions were down and the brave me wasn’t afraid to speak. She came to the front of my mind’s conversation and said,

[Tweet “”Hey, wait. None of your circumstances matter. This is all in God’s hands. Leave it there.””]

For some reason, I did. And this morning, it’s still there…even though I’m still a little afraid. That’s the part of me who thinks God isn’t in control.

[Tweet “We must remember truth in its completeness: God is always in control. Always.”]

Over coffee at Meridee’s, my unofficial mentor said two things to me that are sustaining my disbelief. Maybe they’ll help you, too.

If you’re feeling ill-equipped to do something because of your experience, remember this: Jesus and Paul spoke a lot about marriage, but neither one of them were married. And if you’re afraid to take that next step, to invest your time or money into something that God’s leading you to, remember this: the only person who didn’t see a return on his investment was the one who buried his treasure.

Continue moving forward in whatever God has placed in your path. Maybe you need to be brave and rest. Or maybe it’s time to say, “God, I’m all in.” Perhaps the next right step is just you trusting God – completely.

Whatever it is, know you’re not alone. There’s a girl in Tennessee who’s fighting to hear truth through all the jumbled up voices in her head right alongside you.

January 7, 2014
Are You at Risk for Church Burnout? 2 Free Resources!

I just bought the domain names “ChurchBurnout.com” and “MinistryBurnout.com.” I was ecstatic and shocked they were still available.

Then I realized why.

Even with the increase of ministerial burnout awareness, with more books being written on pastoral and church health, burning out is just not something we – in the church culture – talk about often. Or Freely.

My book Mad Church Disease published almost five years ago. FIVE. It was awarded the Vital Church Resource Award by Outreach Magazine and it’s still one of the most requested talks I’m asked to give. [Tweet “Burnout is still an epidemic and it’s killing our souls, our hope, our light.”]

That’s why when I received the rights back to my book, I decided to expand it, to add more practical plans and paths and devotionals and personal coaching for people to find help and health, on their own or in teams.

Next week, I’ll have a very exciting opportunity for anyone interested in fighting burnout with me to get the new book and all the new stuff for free. If you want to get in, just pop your email address in the form here and you’ll get to have the chance to sign up first. But for now, I want to give you a couple of things.

[Tweet “Want a free chapter from the first edition of Mad Church Disease on burnout risk factors?”]

Click here!

[Tweet “How close are you to burning out? Download a free burnout assessment.”]

Click here!

There are no points or scores. You just fill out the form and judging on how it looks, you can see if you’re burning out, close to it, or staying healthy.

I can’t emphasize enough how much of a fight we have ahead of us. [Tweet “Satan wants to take us down so we can’t proclaim the hope of the world.”] With the new year approaching, there’s no better time to get ready to start this fight. Let’s not be silent!

Sign up to learn about getting free stuff here. I can’t wait to share this stuff with you next week!

December 8, 2013
Four Ways to Keep the Christmas Season from Ruining Christmas
The holidays are stressful. Shopping. Parties. Family. Finances. Weather. As I finish up the manuscript for my book Mad Church Disease: Healing from Church Burnout, I am reminded how much difference a little intentionality makes as we journey across the days of December.

These four things help me to daily the postures I’ll take this season and in doing so, maybe make things a lot less stressful in the process.
1. Friends: Engage your friends. People travel, everyone seems busy, but reaching out to your friends during the holidays isn’t just good for you, it’s good for them. Even a simple text message to say hi and ask how someone is doing can be the only light someone sees on a really cloudy day.
2. Rest: Rest is my favorite thing to do. After I stressed myself out so terribly eight years ago (so much that I was hospitalized for a week), resting is priority for me and my family. Even if this means emails, phone calls and texts go unanswered for a day or two, rest. In the Christmas season, it’s hard to have a Sabbath day, but do it anyway. And rest in the fact that you’re being obedient in the process. [Tweet “So much more gets done when we’re resting in the fact God has already done everything.”]
3. Pray: It’s an obvious discipline, but one that can fall to the wayside in my life when I’m busy. Even though it may feel rote, commit to certain times to pray every day. For Tim and me, we pray before every meal and then we have an intercessory time before we go to bed. Every single day. One sentence prayers are also a big thing: “Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.”…”God, change me!” ….”Lord, help…” Meditating on scripture in the stillness of our own mind keeps us constantly in touch with what God might have for us to do.
4. Be Thankful: It can’t be said enough: Keeping an attitude of thankfulness takes the focus off our circumstances and places it back on the God who gave us His son. In light of the coming of Christ to save us for our sins, long check out lines, annoying family members, even the bigger things like finances and health disappear into the shadows. What if you wrote down one thing you’re thankful for every day? And what if you shared it with a friend? I have a feeling the hope and joy would spill out and encourage both of you.
It is so very much in my DNA to desire health and peace and joy for those who minister either by profession or in everyday life. We are all called to it and there’s nothing more Satan would like to do than to distract us from celebrating and sharing this miraculous and sacred time of the year.

I would like to help you stay encouraged from now until the new year. I woke up this morning and felt compelled to start something that could encourage you daily, so I logged into my email account and made a new list for surviving Christmas.

By signing up, starting tomorrow, each day I’ll send you a very short note of encouragement, tips to stay healthy, some scripture and prayer…something new each day. I’ll also include a link to a talk (either video or audio – your choice) I recently gave on choosing joy this advent season that goes further into these four ideas.

It doesn’t cost you anything and I won’t try to sell you anything. But if you’d like to sign up, you can do so using the form below. If your browser doesn’t show a form or you have problems, just click this link to sign up.

Do you have any tips on how to stay healthy and proactive during the Christmas season?

Subscribe to Surviving Christmas
December 6, 2013
Three Things to Help Control Freaks Let Go
Control has control on me.

It’s my thorn, my biggest enemy, my closest friend.

I’ve been out of control a few times in my life…
- The many times we moved when I was growing up
- When a youth pastor sexually abused me
- When a tornado hit my house
- When a car I was driving had a bad tire and sent me spinning down a 150 foot embankment
- When a person who said he’d love me forever changed his mind
But really, aren’t we out of control all the time?

Tim and I are in Sioux Falls. Our flight leaves in three hours. We get back to Nashville (assuming there are no delays, which again, is out of our control) at 9:30 tonight.

The girl watching our new little puppy called and texted while we were at lunch. The puppy got sick – take her to the vet sick and I am a self-proclaimed puppychondriac. I want to get home. Now. But I can’t. It’s out of my control..And it’s making me anxious.

Canines aside, earlier this morning, I spoke at a university and gave students an opportunity to sponsor a child through Compassion. Will they? Will one? Will 20? If nobody does, did I just let a bunch of kids down who need help? If 20 students do, will I wonder why it wasn’t 40? Or 100? It’s out of my control…and it’s making me anxious.

And it just snowballs…what happens if I don’t sell another book? What if nobody wants Mad Church Disease when it comes out in February next year? Or when Lean on Me publishes in October, what if it flops? What if I never get asked to speak again, or what if we can’t have children or adopt or…or…or…

(Take a breath, take a breath.)

I realize I’m not the only control freak out there.

And I think there may be two types of us: Internal and external.

Internal control freaks allow the “what ifs” to avalanche inside our spirits and distract us from the present, from the hope and faith we have.

External control freaks project the anxiety on to others. If I was an external control freak, I’d be at the airport forcing the airline to put me on the next plane to Nashville and throwing a fit about it (yes, so I can go home to a puppy; I get it). I would have manipulated those students with Western guilt and twisted and turned my words so they would sponsor children.

How do we release the anxiety we have when our illusion of control is broken?

This is what I’m choosing to do today.
- Talk about it: Thankfully, Tim is on this trip with me so he’s sitting right next to me while I type this and reminding me that God loves me, he loves me, and with both situations, I’ve done the best I can do. I talked to the vet and our puppy is getting checked out. I did my best presenting Compassion, and we know that some children’s lives will be forever changed because they got sponsored.
- Reflect and Repeat: I am a super fan of the one-sentence prayers that are said over and over again. For when I’m anxious, it’s “He keeps in perfect peace whose mind stays on Him” (my rendition of Isaiah 26:3) The rest of the verse says “Because he trusts him.” I trust God. Period. He has never failed.
- What’s Possible Now? My friend Gail has a saying when something doesn’t go as planned: “What does this make possible?” So, what does being in snowy South Dakota make possible while experiencing my anxiety and facing my control issues? I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. So, I can write about them. I can share what I’m learning with you. I can ask for your prayers. You can ask for mine.
Any life interruption is rarely a pleasant thing. Especially when it involves things we deeply care about (children in need and my little puppy – clearly I care about them in different ways; Hey, I’m just being honest with you!)

Control freaks of the world, let’s all take a breath. Share your concern. Pray. Do what you can. God cares about you and what’s important to you. Let’s loosen our collective grips and be present, now, fully and with trusting hearts.

(Update: As I was typing this blog post, our dog sitter called and said our puppy was sick and was given some antibiotics, but it was nothing serious enough to put her in the hospital…you know, just in case you wanted to know :)).
December 3, 2013
Vote on my New Book Cover!

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Well, it’s not really my new book cover (that’s over here!) but early in 2014, I’ll be re-releasing a revised and expanded edition of my first book, Mad Church Disease: Healing from Ministry Burnout. It will release on its fifth birthday (happy birthday, book!) and it’s insane to think each and every week, I hear from pastors or church leaders and volunteers who are still giving this book out and sharing what it has meant to them. I’m was asked to keynote the Shelby Conference on this topic next June!

Since this book was listed out of print by the publisher and all the rights were reverted back to me, I’m so glad I get to add some content, update some more, and provide not only a book, but study guides, custom health plans, and more.

We are working on the final pieces of it, including the cover. I had a design contest at 99Designs and have narrowed it down to eight finalists. Your vote and comments will help so much. Please hop over to the voting page, cast your vote, and make sure you sign up for the email list that will notify you when Mad Church Disease is available to purchase again. (Hint, if you sign up for the list, you’re gonna get some crazy pre-sell offers and freebies exclusive only to that list!)

***

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November 23, 2013
Can We Love Others Without Loving Ourselves?

The following is a revised excerpt from my first book, Mad Church Disease: Overcoming the Burnout Epidemic. I’m in the process of updating the book and expanding it with study guides, team workbooks, coaching, and custom plans to stay healthy (emotionally, relationally, physically and spiritually). I’ll be self-publishing it in the next few months. If you’d like to be notified when it’s available for pre-order (and get some freebies), you can sign up here.

When a Code Blue is issued in a hospital, any available medical personnel run to the room of the person who’s coding. It’s a matter of life and death. Milliseconds count. Politics, personal beliefs, hang-ups, grudges, and pride are put aside as the life of a fellow human lies in their hands.

It’s an emergency.

Since the beginning of time, mankind has been facing a life-and-death emergency. We are separated from our Creator. All he wants is for us to be reconciled to him. He sent his own flesh and blood down to earth to restore us. And we?re to help guide others to that restoration.

The greatest commandments are what? To love God and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. I can’t (and don’t) question our love for God. The passion and intensity with which we go about our lives are small indicators of our love. But we are guilty of not loving ourselves.

The statistics on burnout and stress, – not only in America, but specifically in the church – don’t lie. And even if they did, I’m sure you could conclude from your own experience that, quite frankly, we’re pretty terrible at loving ourselves. I know I am.

Here’s my question to you. If we can’t love ourselves fully, can we love others wholly?

We can care for others and can want the best for them, but to love them in the godliest ways is impossible until we can obey this great commandment.

We are in the midst of a crisis that needs our full devotion of mind, body, and spirit.

In Mark 12:30, Jesus declares, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Notice Jesus doesn’t say “love others with all your strength”; he says to “love the Lord your God.”

By loving God, we’re faithful to his commandments. When we’re obedient, God carries out his work through us. I once heard a pastor say the Holy Spirit will always accomplish his work in us, but why do we make him work so hard to do so?

Satan is out to annihilate hope and light, both in our world and in us, the body of Christ. He’s well aware of the crisis of the human race, and he will do anything and everything in his power to obliterate our efforts.

As the church, we need to take a good, hard look around and ask ourselves if we are ready to fight; to fight for our own love relationship with God through Christ, and for the world around us as well.

November 6, 2013