Anne Marie Miller

Category: Leadership

  • MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO

    everyday, we set examples.

    (even in the tiniest bits of minutia.)

    how we drive.

    what we wear.

    what we buy.

    how we spend our time.

    my friend shared a podcast with me (here)…which honestly and boldly notes that christians are the worst at taking a day off. finding rest. family time.

    we operate 24/7.

    and with that in mind, more specifically, i’d like to ask…

    those of you who are pastors…what kind of example are you setting for the team that supports you? even if you don’t push them to go-go-go-all-the-time-like-you, what does your example say to them?

    those of you who are leaders…what kind of example are you setting for those who follow you?

    even if you don’t think you’re a leader, you are. someone’s watching. your kids. your spouse. the girl who doesn’t talk a lot that sits in the cubicle across from you. your team. maybe even your boss.

    what kind of example are you setting?

    just a little something to chew on today.

  • jesus brand spirituality

    i recently got a copy of jesus brand spirituality, a book by ken wilson, which came out this week. anyone who knows me well knows i love reading, but i read so much, i really only skim books to find nuggets that will stick with me.

    this book, however, had me sucked in from the first couple of pages. technically, it had me sucked in from the title. last weekend, i read it in about three hours and highlighted/underlined so many things in it.

    i’m going to have to do another post just to share all the insights, but i thought i’d share the first chunk with you now.

    i should also say that nobody asked me to review this book…this is straight up out of my own felt need to share this book with you and express that i think it is one of the most important books any church leader or believer could read.

    with that said:

    • we can only hope jesus will continue to challenge every effort to hijack his brand, because he is, and always will be, the main attraction.
    • jesus invited curious onlookers to help him do what he was already doing so that his actions would have greater impact…there were no faith quizzes to pass before you could help out; all it took was the willingness to go somewhere with jesus because you liked what he was doing.
    • jesus was a mystic who prayed with his eyes open
    • the roman empire embraced christian faith as the state-sanctioned religion. this in turn gave birth to the monastic movement as devout individuals sought a more spiritually enlivened form of faith, removed from the trappings of the empire (*my thought: we are on the cusp of this again, with people getting worn out from “trappings of the empire” and are longing for a deeper, more Christ-like faith)
    • since religion can both illuminate and obscure jesus, sometimes we need to dig to find him. a good place to dig is the gospels. here, we find jesus on a mission from god to repair the world. in his glance, we catch an invitation for us to join him.
    • caring for the most vulnerable isn’t a matter of compassion alone; it’s a demand of justice and the true sign of religion.
    • as we engage with the realities that engaged jesus’ attention, we are more likely to encounter him.
    • the gospel is a message with personal, social, and global reach. if it’s not good news at all these levels, it’s not good enough.
    • have we front-loaded people with so many matters of belief that we are, in effect, asking them to swallow the whole package as a pre-requisite for a meaningful engagement with jesus?
    • as a result of our long and productive love affair with rationalism, we tend to suffer from an anemic view of what we call “spiritual experience.”

    anything resonate with you?

    if you’d like to get your own copy…you can get it right here! i seriously can’t tell you how much this book rocks.

  • rotating strengths?

    i have taken the strengths finder now 3 times (the 2.0 version this last time, today).

    here have been my results:

    In 2004:
    Strategic
    Connectedness
    Ideation
    Belief
    Input

    In 2006:
    Strategic
    Connectedness
    Restorative
    Intellection
    Input

    In 2008:
    Connectedness
    Empathy
    Intellection
    Belief
    Input

    so there are some clear themes that have stuck around through the ages. i am a little surprised strategy fell off the list entirely after being my signature strength for the last few years. connectedness always proved to be a close second, so having it as the signature strength now makes total sense.

    if you want to see more about what those strengths mean, you can click here.

    what about you? have you taken the strengths finder?

  • sex rules!!

    ok, married people, sex does rule (cue 80s lingo flashback…now).

    but that’s not what we’re going to talk about.

    i’d like for us to discuss THE sex RULE.

    “the rule” (for lack of a better term) that most churches have which states a married woman and a married man cannot be alone (car rides, office time, counseling, meals, travel, etc.) with a member of the opposite sex that is not his or her spouse.

    all of the churches i have been employed by have “the rule.”

    yet, i was talking with a friend who is also on staff at a church who does not have the rule. he thinks it’s a little legalistic.

    another friend said,

    “you know that whole theory where people live up to the expectations set before them? to me, this rule says, ‘we don’t trust you to make wise decisions on your own, so we’re enforcing a rule that might help keep you out of trouble.’ of course people are still having affairs and getting involved inappropriately. they’ve already been told they can’t be trusted!!”

    one church i was on staff at a while back had the rule, and yet within a couple of years, four staff members, including three in public leadership, had affairs. and this happens all the time. to churches with “the rule” in place.

    so…what do you think? is “the rule” necessary? should husbands and wives involved in church leadership set “their rule” instead of the church? does it really prevent anything? or is it a darn good idea that protects leaders? what do your “rules” look like if you have any??

  • pantyhose and elevators and my own skin

    pantyhose and elevators and my own skin. those are three things i’m uncomfortable in. (oh, wow. that rhymed!)

    why the pantyhose? should be obvious. elevators? not a fan of getting stuck in a big metal box.

    my own skin?

    it has to do with my heart and my brain and my aspirations and dreams.

    women-ministryministry is a fairly male-dominated game. and that’s cool. drill it down even more, when you have a heart for encouraging and equipping and dreaming with other pastors, well…as a girl, that can be tough to do. as a 20-something year old girl, perhaps even tougher.

    most male leaders i know aren’t playing any kind of chauvinistic or age-hatin’ cards. so it’s not an issue of disrespect that i feel like i’m up against. there are just differences in guy leadership and girl leadership. the ways god has gifted us and crafted us.

    most (but not all) women in ministry feel led to work in children’s ministry, education, women’s ministry…but i don’t. i know my calling…and it is working with pastors.

    most of whom are men.

    this is not a women-in-ministry debate. i just know that sometimes, i have a hard time wondering how it will all work out in the end. how does this look in my daily life? in my job? in the world…?? writing a book is pretty universal. and that’s a good start…but i know there’s more…

  • 7 things i learned in 2007

    i know, i know, i had to pick 7…lame. :)

    7. when something good happens, don’t try and figure out why. just accept it!
    6. writing a book is really really hard work.
    5. just when you think you’re comfortable, get ready for stuff to shake up!
    4. take chances.
    3. if someone doesn’t like you, tough cookies.
    2. you can always find something positive to say.
    1. shut up and listen.

    you?

  • info porn – don’t spread bad stats

    %“christians like info porn”

    one of my friends, who’s been working in research and statistics for the last decade or so, wrote that in an email to me.

    what led us to that conversation were some statistics many of us have seen before. i know i have, and i was hoping to use them in my book. but having been recently influenced by my brilliant stats-minded friend, i knew i had to track down the source and make sure it was indeed scientific and unbiased before claiming it gospel truth.

    the stats i was looking up:

    1500 ministers leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, burnout, or contention
    50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce
    80% feel unqualified and discouraged
    50% would leave ministry but fear they couldn?t make a living
    70% constantly fight depression
    40% have had an extramarital affair while in ministry
    70% say their only time reading the Bible is when they prepare sermons

    i looked around and was able to track most of them down to an informal survey focus on the family did. sounds legit, right?

    not so.

    the survey was conducted at seminars for pastors/marriages. something i’ve learned in the course of writing mad church disease is just because you have a group of people answer questions, well, that doesn’t make it real research.

    unfortunately, these stats cannot be considered accurate for a couple of reasons:

    -it’s not a representative sample. the group is pastors who went to a FOF event. totally idiosyncratic.
    -the wording of the questions are biased. and grouped. you can’t ask if they feel something AND something.

    it would be like getting a group of 20 and 30 year old pastors together and then saying a majority of pastors are young. that’s just not the way statistics are done.

    97% of christians get 80% of their stats from unreliable sources, and 73% of them will pass it on as truth. and yes, that whole sentence was a bunch of bull. christians like info porn!

    moral of the story? take a stand against info porn. don’t spread bad stats!

    on another note, i do have some scientific research that was conducted legitimately. and because i want you to wait a year and buy the book, i won’t put it up just yet… :)

    but please let me say…things are not as bad as they may seem.

  • tell me what you think of this

    “Ministry isn’t a job – it’s the outflow of your relationship with God.”

    Discuss…

  • redefining excellence

    nine out of ten anne jackson friends would agree: i am both competitive and a perfectionist. those characteristics can be strengths when used correctly. used irresponsibly, however, and they can beat me up faster than chuck norris on red bull.

    it’s always been easy for me to confuse perfectionism and excellence. one lie many of us believe is for something to be excellent, it has to be perfect. no mistakes. after all – perfection isn’t subjective. when something is completely flawless, everyone agrees.

    excellence is subjective. but generally speaking, i think we’ve been taking the idea of excellence and bending it far out of shape.

    let me give an example. i was recently asked by someone to speak for a general session at a conference. i talked to a couple of friends about it, who all encouraged me to do it. i prayed about it.

    i emailed the conference organizer to talk to him a little more about the opportunity. i wanted all of our expectations to be clear. he shared with me his thoughts, and then shared some of what his audience expects.

    in short, based on feedback he had received through the years, his crowd expects perfection. if someone is “almost excellent,” they let him know very clearly that the person should not have been a general session speaker. i appreciated his honesty in communicating what his audience expects.

    i actually kind of felt ashamed for being that audience at one time. being the one writing those notes.

    although i doubt any of us are perfect at anything we do, i know for a fact i am not your typical conference speaker. i’m pretty much just me, but up on stage. a little quiet. really laid back. deliberate. not charismatic. simple. my nerves show through just a bit. (if you’ve heard me speak before, please feel free to confirm or deny my observation).

    when i speak, am i pursuing excellence? yes. i try and pursue it in all i do. i pray, i prepare, i study, i practice & rehearse. however, if i were to speak at this conference, based on history, would this audience think i’m excellent? probably not.

    in our church world, it’s easy for us to see something that isn’t perfect, and deem it as not being excellent.

    one of the best definitions i’ve heard of excellence is doing the best you can with what you have. it is totally between you and what god does through you.

    i am beginning to think that excellence has nothing to do with what other people think. or does it?

    your thoughts?

    edit: i put this in the comments but wanted to make sure it was clarified for those who might not read them…I have nothing but THE utmost respect for this person and the conference. I have enjoyed being an attendee before. I am totally honored they even thought of me! I was thankful we were able to clarify where he is coming from, where I was coming from and decided it wasn?t the best fit. And that is a-okay by me!

    I am speaking from more of an audience standpoint. Because I have sat there and thought, ?this guy does not need to be talking!? Does he? Who am I to judge??