At least for a little while. Be back soon.
Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure. – Henri Nouwen
==========
Category: Hmmmm
-
Taking Another Blogging & Twitter Break
-
Caption Please
My best friend got married last Friday.
Her husband Shawn has a Harley.
About ten years ago, I saw a guy get hit by an 18-wheeler on a motorcycle on I635 in Dallas (a HUGE highway). Then, my friend Denise fell off of one and had a compound fracture and now has six pins in her arm. I’ve promised I would never EVER ever ride a bike.
At her rehearsal dinner cookout, peer pressure got the best of me and I got on the bike with Shawn and he actually took me out on a highway. For like, fifteen minutes. In flip flops.
So with that story…caption please (for the picture below – not above!)
-
The Computer Ate My Bible
When I was seven, I “won” a trip to Schlitterbahn because I memorized all the books in the Bible and could recite them to our small, West Texas congregation. There is nothing quite like trying to say “Habakkuk” while standing on a milk crate (and three hymnals) in order to see over my dad’s oak pulpit. It was quite the balancing act.
Next up were Bible Drills. It was time to put that knowledge to use.
Ready?
Draw swords!
Proverbs 3:4 – Go!
Our classroom of fifth and sixth graders would flip urgently through the pages of our Bibles, scouring to find the called out scripture. There was nothing holy about it. Elbows were thrown, feet were mashed, voices were raised, tampers were thrown…but, by golly, did I ever know my Bible.
Fueled by competition, I went home to study, over and over again, where the books were located in my Bible. Trying to remember themes and stories and memorize the frequented verses so even if I didn’t actually find them in the Bible, I could ramble them off like I had.
Again.
Nothing.
Holy.
About it.
Over the last few months, I’ve had the opportunity to do several interviews for radio stations or by phone and I’ll think of a verse in the Bible I want to reference. I typically fumble around,
“Well, um, I think Paul said….”
(If it’s something in the New Testament, you’re pretty safe going with either Jesus or Paul).
“In the Old Testament, it says….”
(By narrowing it down to the Old or New Testaments, you have a 50/50 shot of getting it right).
I know these verses. I know a LOT of verses. I just have no clue where they are anymore.
I’ve realized the Bible I use most often for research is online. It’s so easy to search for a keyword or topic and be flooded with a variety of results. Which, when you’re researching something, is really quite efficient.
Gone are the days I am digging through cross references and skimming down chapters and chapters looking for a specific verse. And you know what? I kind of miss it.
There was something very life-giving that comes from sitting down with Scripture in its paper form. There’s something about scanning and reading through Scripture intentionally, yet never knowing what other treasure you may find along the way. Granted, it takes more time, effort, and patience, but I have to say in the end, it’s more than worth it – at least it seems to be for me.
What are your thoughts? Have you seen how your personal scripture reading habits or knowledge has changed with the use of technology? I know for many people it enhances the experience. I guess I’m just wondering if I’m crazy for wanting to go back in time.
-
The Drawbridge
You must decide for yourself to whom and when you give access to your interior life. For years, you have permitted others to walk in and out of your life according to their needs and desires. Thus you were no longer master in your own house, and you felt increasingly used. So, too, you quickly became tired, irritated, angry and resentful.Think of a medieval castle surrounded by a moat. The drawbridge is the only access to the interior of the castle. The lord of the castle must have the power to decide when to draw the bridge and when to let it down. Without such power, he can become the victim of enemies, strangers, and wanderers. He will never feel at peace in his own castle.
It is important for you to control your own drawbridge. There must be times when you keep your bridge drawn and have the opportunity to be alone, or with those to whom you feel close. Never allow yourself to become public property where anyone can walk in and out at will. You might think you are being generous to anyone who wants to enter or leave, but you will soon find yourself losing your soul.
When you claim for yourself the power over your drawbridge, you will discover new joy and peace in your heart and find yourself able to share that joy and peace with others.
-Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love
At first when I read this, I couldn’t decide if I was convicted or turned off.
“But I want my life to be open to everyone.”
Alas, as I thought about it more, I realize he didn’t say “never lower the drawbridge and stay safely inside your castle.” Instead, Nouwen enforces the importance of emotional boundaries. Boundaries which need to be in tact to make you strong so you can accomplish your unique, global purpose. Jesus did it in Luke 4.
I think if we look at his context, maybe we can feel a bit more free to occasionally retreat and replenish.
How do you do at controlling the drawbridge? Do you agree or disagree with what Nouwen is saying?
=====
-
Go After the Biggest Dream in Your Heart
I was having a little Twitter chat with a friend of mine yesterday – one who has been a big cheerleader in my life. After sending me a bit of encouragement about the roads I’m taking, and ones I am considering taking over the next six months to a year, he said this:
Go after the biggest dream in your heart.
I don’t know about you, but I know for me, the biggest dream in my heart is scary. It’s crazy! It doesn’t make sense.
I find myself asking, “God…is that really you?”
And yesterday I heard Him tell me, “If it doesn’t make sense, it probably is me!”
God asks us to do things that don’t make sense.
In fact, a preacher chick I admire once said to me, “there is NO NATURAL way a supernatural destiny can be mapped out….”
So as my friend said…Go after the biggest dream in your heart.
Especially the ones that don’t make sense.
God’s your provision. Get out of the way and give Him a chance to prove it to you.
What’s the biggest dream in your heart?
=====
-
Are You an Addict?
One of my friends emailed me last week about the boundaries I’ve set for some of my online habits. He wanted to talk about them a little bit more, and jokingly said “I’m addicted to that stuff!”
His remark sent me into one of those little ADD brain tangents I frequently find myself in…(to which he received the brunt of in my return email).
We wouldn’t joke around about an addiction to porn, or to alcohol, but we do joke around about being addicted to technology.
And so I wonder…are we?
My friend Mike has a good, unofficial way of finding out. If you wonder if you’re addicted to something, take a break – cold turkey – for two weeks. See how long you make it. You’ll get a pretty good idea if you’re addicted or not.
Could you imagine taking two weeks off from Twitter or Facebook or your RSS reader or…?
More importantly, would you?
-
Have I Created an Idol that Does Things For God?
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I pressed delete.
Delete on this blog.
Delete on my Facebook.
Delete on my Twitter.
What if I ceased to exist in this online world?
Am I relying on the means too much instead of trusting the power of the message I feel I’ve been charged to communicate?
Isn’t the message, and the One who it came from enough on it’s own?
Is this life of online media the new normal, or is it a mutated form of normality I’ve come to accept?
Has this method of communication become an idol of mine that does things for God instead of the other way around?
Sometimes I wonder.
And I wonder if I’m the only one who is wondering.
-
Becoming the Boundaries & Margin Nazi
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little stressed, so I go back to the measurement of my time and see what the problem is? – my calendar.
And even with the boundaries I established at the beginning of the year, they weren’t specific enough to really help release me from my demon of overcommitment.I’ve been away from home (give or take) 31 days this year.
That’s a MONTH.
Using some other tools to analyze my time, I realize I spend an average of 2-3 hours a day on social networking sites (checking Twitter, Facebook, whatever).
That would be almost 40 days SOLID in a YEAR!
And I wonder where my time goes.
The stress comes when the things I value in my heart (mainly my faith) are not getting the time and attention they deserve. There’s a misalignment of values. What I say is important and where I spend my time don’t line up to a degree where it’s healthy.
It’s not that I don’t see spending time online, interacting, praying, caring, sharing, and learning with people as valuable. But when it trumps the things MOST valuable to my heart (faith) is where it gets sticky.
Yesterday at lunch I sat down with my calendar and my thoughts. I had to cancel two speaking engagements, not because they aren’t valuable or important, but because ultimately (due to a variety of circumstances) went away from – and not toward – making my faith stronger. Being gone at these specific times would have impacted those things negatively, thus causing unhealthy stress.
We also talked about my time online, and decided because I NEED STRUCTURE, I will be sticking to the following “boundaries” until the beginning of September, when we’ll evaluate and adjust if necessary. I’m not saying YOU should do this. I’m just putting in writing what is best for my faith and myself right now.
Twitter. Currently, I probably check it 50 times a day. Lord knows how many times I actually tweet. New boundary? I’ll check and update only three times a day – once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. NO notifications, except direct messages, ping me elsewhere.
Facebook. I’m not on it much anyway, but I’ll only log in to Facebook once a week. NO notifications at ALL ping me elsewhere.
Online Sabbath. Once a week (it’s looking like Saturday) I will be completely unplugged. I will not be checking email, Twitter, Facebook, whatever. If my computer is on, the only thing open is Word so I can work on writing. One day a week, completely computer free.
Stat-Ho. I am only going to check my blog stats, Technorati (as if that means much anymore) and Feedburner stats once a month. I can get obsessed by these numbers and sometimes measuring things too much is a bad idea. At least for me.
So…there you have it. A few new rules in the life of Anne Jackson. I think margin is so important and will talk until I’m blue in the face about it, but if I’m not living that life myself, well, I’m just a big fat liar.
Is there anywhere you need to build in margin? What steps can you take to do it? Sometimes it just takes DOING it.
-
Looking Through the Eyes of Love
It had been a really long day.
6 am came too soon, and as usual, I was running late to the airport. Due to the extra few minutes I spent taming my hair, I was unable to stop by Sonic for my habitual Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper.
The tragedy.
The flight from Nashville to Houston was one of the bumpiest I’ve ever been on. And I fly. A lot. Several people on our plane threw up and one even passed out on our descent.
Evidently, April is Monsoon season for the state of Texas.
Once in the terminal, I checked my next flight on the screens.
My 12 pm flight to Dallas was delayed until 1 pm.
Then 2 pm.
Then 3:15 pm.
4:15 pm.
Canceled.
Fortunately my phone alerted me a good fifteen minutes before they announced it so I was able to get in line early and snag a seat on the next flight out.
5 pm.
6 pm.
6:45 pm.
7 pm.
7:30 pm.
Finally.
I have never been happier to be en route somewhere.
Dallas wasn’t my final destination though. After spilling Diet Coke on a very conspicuous area of my lap, landing, collecting my soaking wet luggage, and getting my rental car, I drove to Coppell to meet my mom and brother for a quick bite to eat before driving to Wichita Falls. Normally a two hour drive isn’t anything to fret over.
But I was tired.
Frazzled.
Decaffeinated.
Grumpy.
And my hair, which I so purposefully wasted time on, had succumbed to the humidity and easily doubled tripled in size.
At least I was in Texas.
I fit right in.
Shortly after midnight, I pulled into my hotel and knowing I would be sleeping in the same clothes I was wearing (as my PJs were drenched from the Monsoon), I rang the buzzer to the front desk.
A middle aged woman with few teeth and a bit of a scowl checked me into my room. Honestly, she kind of creeped me out just a bit. Enough that for once, safely inside my room, I actually locked all the locks on my door.
I looked in the mirror at my road-wearied face. My Diet Coke stained jeans. I looked like I had aged ten years in what was really just a ten hour journey.
The walls are a little thin at the hotel, and outside my room I can hear the scowly lady talking to someone. Immediately my heart sunk as I realized what a jerk I had been to judge this woman. I think it would be safe to assume a middle aged woman who looks like she’s lived a lot of life probably didn’t plan on making $6 an hour working the midnight shift at a small town, Texas inn. And in my hurried, cranky, spoiled interaction with her, I didn’t view her through the eyes of love.
Leaning into the mirror more to look into my eyes I prayed, “God. Help me see people the way you see them. Help me see people through the eyes of love.”
It’s so easy for me to judge. To compare, contrast, and separate the worth of humanity within my own mind, and by my own eyes. As if somehow I have the right to do that.? Yet I do it.
All the time.
I wonder what people look like through the eyes of love. I can’t say I’ve ever really set every agenda aside and simply narrowed my focus to see them the way Jesus would have seen them.
Beautiful.
Worthwhile.
Broken.
Child like.
Lovely.
And so it’s my hope this week that I can open my heart a little bit.
Open my mind.
And this week, may we all be challenged to look through the eyes of love.