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Category: Creativity
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How One Guy Won My Heart – Our Proposal Story
[Note: The engagement took place at The Establishment Theatre where Tim is in an improv group with ComedySportz!]
When my husband Tim asked me to marry him (which started a slew of Instagram photos of the event), a few of you asked us to tell our story.
Well, Tim’s a) incredibly thoughtful; b) incredibly creative and c) a professional videographer. So once he set his plan in motion – which took two months of sneakiness – he knew every moment would be documented. Sure it’s nice to show off to the family & friends, but our real hope in this is that others see Christ’s love in us. That is only where our love for each other can begin.
One of the things I love most about Tim is his intentional pursuit of me, as a woman. A passionate, Godly man who pursued? It was a rare trait. So women, take heart! They do exist! As you watch (or read) our story (it’s in the description part of the video), it will give you context to how he proposed the way he did. All of the crazy elements of the proposal had significance to our story!
Here’s the video below, but for the full description, you might want to click over and watch it on its YouTube page. We hope you are encouraged by it, inspired by it, and that most of all, you will see how a redemptive God can take two broken people who love Him and join them together for His work.
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Are You Afraid of the Blank Page?
Back in the fall, I had the opportunity to speak at The Youth Cartel’s Summit on the process of creativity. I laughed. A lot. Because my process looks a lot more like…it looks nothing like a process at all (so much that I’ve struggled for five minutes to find any kind of analogy).
After explaining my lack-of-process, they didn’t budge, so instead, I changed my talk. Kind of. Yes, there is a creative process behind every project we do but it varies from person to person. In my research, I discovered the “Blank Page” we often fear really isn’t blank. And I also managed to give a history lesson on Easter Island…all within about 15 minutes.
The Youth Cartel made this talk available last week, so I thought I’d share it with you! If you have 15 minutes and are a part of creating anything, I hope it can give you some insight on why the process you go through before you enter the creative process is more important than the creative process itself. I hope you enjoy it!
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The Tension of Art and Vocation
When I was seventeen years old, I moved into my very first apartment. Instead of worrying about who would ask me to prom, I was worried about having to fire the seminary student at the local bookstore I managed. I couldn’t vote, but I could create a profit-and-loss report with my eyes closed.
I didn’t go into my late teenage years expecting to be a career woman, but those were the cards I was dealt. I quickly moved into corporate marketing and communication, then ministry, and signed my first major book contract when I was twenty-seven and a contract for my second and third books when I was twenty-eight. By the time I was thirty-two years old, I had the opportunity to travel to eighteen countries to write stories, I was honored to speak in front of over a hundred thousand people, and for the most part, was able to live the dream staying self-employed. This often meant I could work in my pajamas and avoid using mascara for days on end.
This was life – a good life. One I have held in deep gratitude in my prayers as I know it is a life many work hard for (myself included…not once has it been an easy life).
As I continue writing, I find myself in a tension I’ve not yet experienced and questions I’ve not yet asked: Is this what I’m here to do? I examine the colors in the garden of my heart. Are the seasons changing?
Writing has always been a part of who I am. From the time I could form the shapes of the alphabet, words move from my mind to paper. This art will never leave me.
But as a career? I wonder…
Merton wrestled with writing as vocation, and for the last two years I have poured over his journals. I see myself in his words and feel his tension. As always, whatever I put my hands to can succeed, but if the motivation of my heart is misaligned, it’s worthless in the eyes of my God.
Intertwining the art of writing with the nuances of vocation often leaves me feeling like I need to exfoliate the surface of my heart and mind. My social media feeds tell me what to do to get more people to read me (I have accepted this as using any of these virtual places as simply mediums to communicate the truths God has imparted to me), as well as demanding – yes, demanding – I share everyone else’s work with those around me. “Retweet this!” — “Can you put this on your Facebook Page, blog, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, refrigerator door, and all the telephone posts in a 2-mile radius from your house?” — “Hey, look! I’m #471,271 on Amazon!”
The Scriptures say to celebrate with those who celebrate and mourn with those who mourn. Usually, my heart gets tired from mourning but I’ve found lately my heart is tired from celebrating; not because I envy others’ success (much), but because the noise can be so, so, loud.
I do not want to add to this noise, yet there is even irony as I type these words on my blog, which I will then place a link to it on Twitter and Facebook.
“We live in a society whose whole policy is to excite every nerve in the human body and keep it at the highest pitch of artificial tension, to strain every human desire to the limit and to create as many new desires and synthetic passions as possible, in order to cater to them with the products of our factories and printing presses and movie studios and all the rest.” – Merton
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Are Forgiveness and Reconciliation the Same?
I never thought there was much difference between reconciliation and forgiveness. In my heart, it all kind of meant the same thing – letting go of pain that someone had inflicted on me. Usually this involved some type of “making up” process involving apologies, sometimes tears, and a hug to make everything alright.
Twelve years ago, somebody hurt me in a very painful, inexcusable way. For years, I didn’t allow myself to work through the pain as I needed to. A couple of years ago, circumstances (which were mostly out of my control) caused me to stare at this wound square in the face.
As strange as it sounds, I’ve never doubted that I forgave this person. I feel fortunate that, for the most part, forgiveness comes easy to me. There are probably only two situations in my life where I know I still need to work on forgiving someone, but this particular hurt isn’t one of them.
However, as I was processing through healing during this time, I began questioning if i really had forgiven this person. Sure, the scabs had been peeled off and the wounds were fresh – and it hurt…badly, all over again.
Someone who was helping me through this sent me an email. He encouraged me and said that what I was experiencing wasn’t me being bitter or holding on (which was what I was afraid I was doing) but that I was desiring reconciliation.
I wanted for this person to own up to the mistake and for everything – painful as it would be – to be okay again.
And I wanted for the relationship to be harmonized and restored completely.
Later, I read this in a book:
Joseph was reconciled with his brothers when they came to Egypt in search of grain. By the time his brothers reached Egypt, he was able to stand before them and confront them because he had no inner feelings that would keep him from having a relationship of unity and peace with them.
Forgiveness is unilateral. You can forgive even if [someone] never admits [their wrong doing], is never sorry, and never changes. But reconciliation requires both people’s commitment to recovery, honesty, repentance, forgiveness, and communication. Even then, reconciliation is a long and difficult process of breaking down barriers and building trust.
You may not ever be reconciled with a person that hurt you (or that you hurt).
That part takes both people to work through.
Forgiveness is a necessary, but not a sufficient condition for reconciliation.
However, forgiveness is a decision that you make, and continue to make, regardless of the other person’s choice.
And through the cross and grace and love, you can.
