Anne Marie Miller

Category: Blogging

  • What if You Miss Something Important?

    “…There is inculcated in us such a fear of being out of everything – out of touch, left behind.

    This fear is a form of tyranny…”

    …The conviction is that it is precisely in these (collective) preoccupations that the Holy Spirit is at work.

    To be “preoccupied with the current preoccupations” is then the best — if not the only — way to be open to the Spirit.

    Hence one must know what everybody is saying, read what everybody is reading, keep up with everything…

    …or be left behind by the Holy Spirit.

    Is this a perversion of the idea of the church – a distortion of perspective due to the Church’s situation in the world of mass communications?

    I wonder if this anxiety to keep up is not in fact an obstacle to the Holy Spirit?

    ~(adapted from a journal entry by Thomas Merton – February 24, 1966.)

    A few months ago I read this in one of Merton’s journals, and I was astonished that a man, practically living in solitude in the 60s, could have such perspective on a culture of mass communication. We think this era is unique, but it’s not. It’s merely redefined using new forms of communication.

    I read a post on Tom’s blog about how he was scaling back in some of his online intake. His post reminded me of what Merton said, and I can’t help but wonder the same thing both pieces allude to…

    Do we stay plugged in because we’re afraid we may miss something (spiritual or relational?)

    Do we feel like there is more to miss simply because there is more being communicated?

    Is what we view as the things that connect us to information inhibiting our capacity to be aware to the not-so-obvious things in our midst?

    I remember unplugging during Lent last year. A few of my other friends did the same and we shared a similar story:

    When we were offline, the things happening around us were so much louder, so much more clear, and we were so much more present in them that it was like God screaming at us – through relationships, through nature, through solitude, through the seemingly mundane…

    What changed?

    Our input level?

    or God’s output level?

    —

    I would tend to think our input level. We quiet down, and we hear what’s already present.

    —

    What do you think? Have you ever wrestled with the fear “unplugging” brings? Have you experienced the radical change in God’s volume when you do unplug?

  • Why My Blog is Going Ad-Free

    I’ve always wrestled with the notion of advertising on my blog. FlowerDust.net has decent traffic, and many of the other blogs with the kind of readership I have advertises (or has “partners” or “sponsors.”)

    When I decided to quit my full time job last August and write and speak as my way of bringing home the bacon (or chocolate bacon, if you will), I made the call and took the plunge.

    I retracted my “I’ll never advertise on my blog” soapbox and opened the doors up.

    Saddington even called me out on it.

    I never was enthralled with the idea of advertising. Was it a little extra money to help pay the bills? Yeah. That part was nice. But I felt the need to always produce a high level of traffic and interaction in order to keep my advertisers/sponsors/partners happy. It should be noted they didn’t put that expectation on me…but I felt that way regardless.

    Every month, I would have the same conversation with myself.

    “I think I might buy back the ad space on my blog.”

    “Why?”

    “Because…I just don’t feel right about it.”

    “Why?”

    “Just because. It’s hard to explain.”

    After a few months of this conversation repeating itself, I finally made the call. I decided to buy back the ads that had already been paid for, stop accepting new requests, and as of April 1, 2010, this blog will be ad-free.

    I have nothing against blogs who advertise. I don’t think advertising is wrong. It costs money to have this blog. $40/month in hosting, and a pretty penny to keep it designed well and functioning. Advertising provided me enough money a month to pay for my health insurance and keep this blog up and running. When it’s part of what you do for a living, why shouldn’t you get paid for it?

    For me, however, it just never landed right. And I’m one of those super weird people that if something is even a wee bit off in my gut, I have to go with what the gut says.

    And if you’d like to know the specific reasons why I decided to go ad-free, here they are:

    1. I don’t want to contribute to the noise. People are bombarded with 3000+ advertisements a day. I’d like this to be a place that breathes a little bit.
    2. I’d like the focus to be the content. I don’t want to have to write when I feel obligated to. I want to write when I have something to say, and I’d like to think you’d like to read it without being distracted.
    3. The requests got to be too many. As far as sidebar ads went, the amount of requests were fine. But considering all of the book tours and product reviews and organization plugs, there wasn’t an easy way to determine what’s advertising, what’s simply passing on a good word, or how to be fair about it all. So I won’t be doing book tours or reviews or giveaways anymore unless it is something that is very near and dear to me. This was a hard line for me to draw, but I’m known as “the package lady” at the post office (seriously) because I get anywhere from five to ten books or products to review a week!
    4. What I do keep on my sidebar, I want to be highlighted. There are a handful of organizations which I am involved in deeply. These organizations have never paid for ad space, and they never will. They are an extension of who I am, and I’d like to bring attention to them.

    So, there you go.

    It was a hard decision to make, but I felt like it was the most responsible and the most true to my heart.

    Thanks for letting me try something out for a while, and giving me grace to change it.

  • I’d Rather Have Fewer Readers

    I have been working on writing this post for a few days now, and somehow (probably due to late-night blogging) it accidentally was published yesterday. I took it down about an hour after it went up, because it wasn’t ready yet…but a surprising number of people responded in that short time frame.

    I decided to re-post it after editing it a little bit more. Sorry for any confusion this may have caused!

    —–

    Some people have termed FlowerDust.net an ?uber? blog.

    I don?t exactly know what that means.

    If it means it?s been around for five years, and has a good number of visitors, then yes, I suppose you can call it that.

    Over the last two years, it?s been interesting to see how my blog traffic has changed with the seasons.

    If I ask questions about sexuality, or talk about controversial church issues, my stats light up.

    If I talk about what the Bible says about taking care of the poor, or share stories from trips I?ve taken (Haiti, India, Uganda ? soon to be Moldova and Russia), my stats tank.

    Here?s an example of pre-Haiti trip stats and post-Haiti trip stats.

    At first, this made me really sad.

    And then the sadness turned into a weird kind of angryness. (Angriness? Angry-ness? Is that even a word?)

    Anyway, I don’t really ever get angry.

    So that was strange for me.

    With the assumption this blog has also been categorized as a “church” blog (whatever that means) why do the posts that should be resonating with us the deepest get a third of the traffic?

    Angry feelings.

    More angry feelings.

    Deep breath.

    Deep breath.

    Then I realized something.

    I would much rather have a small group of people who really, really cared than a large group of people who just showed up to just show up.

    I don?t want to be a ?church? blog, in the sense that we talk about the stupid stuff that nobody agrees on. That?s not what this blog is designed to be.

    I want to be a ?church? blog in the sense that we?re a community that cares for those overlooked.

    You know?like?how the church is supposed to be.

    If that means my stats suck and the ?uber? blogstar label gets removed, so be it.

    I?d choose a hundred readers with big hearts and the action to back it up any day of the week over a million readers who change the channel when it gets uncomfortable to watch.

  • Quick Question – Five Seconds of your Time

    I have a quick question for you.

    Technically two.

    And it will take you five seconds to answer.

    Ten seconds, tops…if you’re a slow typist. :)

    Are you male or female?

    And what’s your age?

    (For disclosure – I’m a female, just in case the ultra feminine “FlowerDust” didn’t give it away…and I’m about (gasp) to (gasp) be (gasp) thirty years old next month.)

  • Exposing Everything on My Blog

    Several months ago, Leadership Network and Catalyst did an online event called “The Nines” where they asked 70+ leaders to make a quick video focusing on one message they had for other leaders.

    I felt the pressure to perform and planned up a fancy talk that would wow and amaze the thousands watching.

    However, something happened when I woke up to tape my talk. It was this gut feeling that I should just roll out of bed and talk about something I’m wrestling with: finding my identity in the way I want to be perceived, my platform, knowledge, etc., and not who I am in Christ.

    (You can watch that video here if you’d like).

    The point of this is, how I am perceived is still a huge problem for me. I hire people to take professional pictures of me. I want my hair to look good. I want how I look to be memorable because in a deep, dark part of my heart, there’s a part of me that wants to be affirmed and famous.

    I hate that part of my heart, but it’s there. I hate it. I fight it. I hate it.

    Because of the response the Nines video received, I decided to do a spin off of it and made a video of me going from made up to to made down. Pulled the hair back, took all the make up off.

    My face is bare.

    Red, and blotchy.

    No fun eyeshadow.

    The circles under my eyes are begging to be stared at.

    For men, I understand it may be different. One guy wrote in saying he shaved his beard after watching the first video because he was using that as a mask. For women, we do put a lot of time and energy into our appearance, and please hear me — that’s not a bad thing!

    It’s when it becomes our focus, when we use that as a mask to pretend to be somebody we’re not or because we want to be perceived as something else, that’s when it becomes an issue.

    I hope that in some way, you’ll also be inspired to lose the mask. Whether it’s with how you look, how you act, or how you want to be perceived. A 30 second video isn’t the magic pill that fixes my heart, but it’s a step to letting down my guard and exposing my heart — the good and the bad — to at least this tiny part of the Internets.

    Have a great weekend.

  • How to be the Best Blogger EVER!

    Just.

    Be.

    Yourself.

    Yes, there are strategies. There are things like telling good stories, and being practical. A nice blog layout never hurt anyone.

    But without being yourself, your blog will never be the best it can be.

    Some define excellence as near-perfection.

    I like to define excellent as doing the best you can with what you have.

    So, make it honest.

    Be engaging.

    Make it thoughtful.

    Be kind, and truthful.

    And above everything else, show love.

  • You Ask, I’ll Answer

    It’s been a while since I did a post where you guys ask me any question, and I’ll do my best to answer. The questions can be about writing, speaking, life, spirituality, or why possums die under my house.

    A few ground rules:

    • I don’t mind talking about theology, but I won’t argue. There are very smart people who can debate both sides of major theological issues well, and if they can’t agree, chances are we won’t be able to figure out the answers in this format.
    • I also don’t mind discussing politics, but again, I won’t argue. There are also some very polarizing issues on which I won’t voice my opinion publicly. If you ask one of these questions, I’ll let you know by politely declining to answer. :)
    • There are several of my frequently asked questions on the FAQ page of FlowerDust.net. You might want to check and see if your answer has already been given there.

    I’ll be checking these throughout the upcoming days to respond to as many as I can, and maybe pull out some interesting conversations for a future blog post.

    You ask – I’ll answer! Go!

  • Do You Feel Alone?

    My “theme” for 2009 was “Listen More, Talk Less.”

    For this year, it’s “We Are Not Alone.”

    Sometimes, I fail at living up to my theme’s implications, but it’s something I try and keep in the forefront of my mind when I make decisions about my career in writing and with my relationships.

    Since this is the first post of 2010, I’d like to combine the themes and ask you two quick questions. If you feel the need to leave an anonymous comment, please take that liberty.

    What kinds of topics do you want us to discuss on FlowerDust.net this year?

    In what areas of life do you feel most alone?

    I’ll go first in the comments and share what’s on my heart. Hope to see you there.

  • On Sex, Social Media, and Bipolar

    After reading through my Google Reader this week, it appears writing about your ten most clicked on posts for the year is the smart blogger thing to do.

    Anyway, I thought I’d see what my top ten blog posts were of 2009 and interestingly enough, a trend emerged.

    Here they are:

    10. This video I did on porn addiction.

    9. The Stigma of Bipolar Disorder

    8. Results to a survey on modesty and dressing sexy

    7. A video of Mike Foster and I sharing a message about sex at Community Christian Church in Chicago.

    6. The announcement that I was going to fast from social media for Lent

    5. The Death Notice of my personal Facebook Account

    4. An old post about emotional affairs

    3. The question asking “What’s one thing you can’t say in church?”

    2. Can girls be porn addicts too?

    1. Why is being gay a sin?

    Wow.

    We certainly have a lot of questions about sex. And social media. And more sex. And sex. And mental health.

    I went to see what words people would search for that would bring them to this site – to our conversations.

    Sure, I wrote the posts…but you contributed so much value to the message.

    People searched for:

    addicted to porn, questioning God, is being gay a sin, girls addicted to porn, female porn addiction, women addicted to porn, emotional affair, depression

    At first glance, it kind of sounds depressing. And dirty.

    But I don’t think it is.

    What makes me thrilled is that the amount of views just these ten posts and their comments have had over the last year has helped around 50,000 people realize they are not alone.

    They are not alone.

    And neither are you.

    And as we close out this year, I’d place my money on the fact you know someone that might need to read one of these posts.

    So there they are – easy to find, easy to share.

    We.

    Are.

    Not.

    Alone.