Anne Marie Miller

Category: Blogging

  • Slaying My Gods of Blogging of Ego

    Maybe it’s just vocabulary, and maybe I’ve always been “a blogger” (I did have my own AOL member page when I was sixteen, and purchased my first domain where I journaled in 1998). I officially resigned from blogging in 2010 (but kept a website for essays and poetry). Then, when I needed to work on healing the wounds from my divorce, I went dark everywhere – no Facebook, Twitter, website. All the words I wrote were in journals and scraps of paper in my car when the right word or a picture would capture me. I started writing online again this year, but not with any consistency or purpose.

    This weekend, I went to the blogging conference Allume. Not because I wanted to learn about blogging, but because I had the chance to represent one of my favorite organizations, Blood:Water Mission, and in the process, catch up with a lot of friends I haven’t seen in a long, long time. The speakers were phenomenal and didn’t talk much about blogging; instead, they carved out the space around our blogs in which we find the reason and meaning: worship. Writing as a form of art and gratefulness (and therapy)…not how many stats, shares, or likes.

    I was reminded over and over again that is why I started blogging.

    Not because I had a book deal, or wanted one.

    Not because I wanted to build a platform or find people to affirm me or debate me.

    Because I love to write about what God has done and is doing in my life.

    Have any of the opportunities that emerged from writing online helped me find my purpose in life or quench the red fires that burn inside my soul?

    No.

    And at times, I gave blogging too much weight, allowing it to define me or brand me or market me. I’ve let those numbers determine how good I feel about myself or why I do what I do.

    Blogging was the god I prayed to: What should I write? What do I say to please you?

    Instead, it should have been the overflow of my prayers to the One True God: Open my eyes, show me truth. May my words only voice edification, wonder, mystery, love, hope, healing, joy.

    “Remember what it was like in the old days?” an old blogging friend asked. “When we wrote about the things that gave us pain and joy. When we were raw because nobody else was, and nobody else cared?”

    I do remember those days and how being raw is a norm and I am so proud of and grateful for those who speak from vulnerable places and illuminate into dark corners. I ask myself why…why now? Why speak when everyone else speaks and it feels like nobody will hear?

    Because it doesn’t matter who will hear. It only matters that I listen. That I obey. And that I write.

    So, here is to another new season. A season where it is not “Anne Marie Miller” (or “Anne Jackson” or “FlowerDust” or whatever moniker you may have known me by at some point in the last ten years).

    This is a season to write, to create, and to process here…regardless. To trust that God will move His mighty hand in whatever way He likes, as He always has, and He always will.

  • A New Look

    Yesterday, I had my second root canal. On one tooth.

    The last four months for Tooth #31 have not been the most pleasant.

    In a state of vicodin-induced creativity and boredom, not wanting to face the public with my chipmunk cheek, I decided to hunker down and put my WordPress hat on and try to not screw up a cute theme too badly.

    So, here we have it.

    This is the combination of old Flowerdust.net post as well as most of the ones from AnneJacksonWrites. I have around 1200 posts to comb through and fix broken things on, but for now (and for the new), I think this will do quite well.

    Tim and I are also working on our own website and I’ll be setting up a store with some fun items we’ve recently added to the store.

    If you were subscribed to any of my old blogs, you shouldn’t have to do a thing.

    If you’d like to, you can use old-fashioned RSS or email.

    And if you’d like to stay on top of any updates that aren’t blog related (new books, the store launch, giveaways), you can subscribe here!

  • 7 Ways to Be Kind Online

    Wow, oh wow: How much the Interwebz have changed since I removed myself from them a couple of years ago. The big mediums are still around: blogging, Facebook, Twitter (with some additional ones like Pinterest I just can’t seem to want to embrace). But how people interact has changed, and that has caused me to first, adapt; and second, take a good look at my own manners online.

    I consider myself a newbie again, and in the process, I’ve been surprised at how people I’ve interacted with before – online or offline – don’t always have the best manners online. I try to show grace. I know people are busy. I know how we use social media is different, but good manners never go out of style.

    Here’s a few rules I try to live by because of how I’ve seen them break (and broken them myself):

    1. Keep it friendly. You have every right to your opinion, even if it’s an opposing view. There’s a difference between expressing it and bringing others down by being intentionally defensive/confrontational/unapologetic.
    2. Follow through. I’ve had people say “oh, when you post this thing or that thing, I can’t wait to link to it/retweet it/show my world your stuff!” And then they fall off the face of the earth.
    3. Answer directly. If someone asks you a question, asks to meet up with you, asks if they can send you their book/album/latest blog post, just give them a direct answer. “Yes, I’d love for you to” or “no, I’m sorry. I just don’t have margin right now to give it a good look.” It takes courage to say no. Man (or woman) it up.
    4. Be quick to apologize. I recently discovered I had a few Direct Messages on Twitter that got buried in spam. I saw them when they came in, but they moved way, way down the list. Be honest. Apologize. Make it right when things fall through the cracks.
    5. Ask for help. If you truly can’t manage your social media while having good manners, ask for help. Sometimes, I enlist the help of a friend or two to reply to people who just need basic information and nothing specific from me. If I know I can’t reply to email quickly because of travel or deadlines, I turn on an out-of-office response.
    6. Acknowledge people. Sometimes when someone contacts you, it doesn’t need a reply, or a simple “thank you” will do. Even if you don’t have time to give them what they need, acknowledge that they’ve reached out to you in some way and point them to someone or a resource that can help them. (If you’re too busy to do this, see Tip #5.)
    7. Give yourself – and others – grace. The truth is we will all have things that fall through the cracks. Text messages, emails, Tweets…Realize for every time you’ve had someone not reply to you, you’ve likely not replied to someone. If it’s important, check in with them again and give them some grace. It’s true…what goes around, comes around.

    What about you? Anything to add?

  • The End of FlowerDust.net (Goodbye…)

    (NOTE: I’m actually going on a fun little road trip Monday and Tuesday to see some friends and some of the beautiful fall colors so I won’t be responding to questions on this post or on Twitter until mid-week. I’m not even taking my computer with me on my trip. Thanks for the patience & grace. I’ve been traveling a lot recently and have had a bit of a family crisis thrown in the mix too…so I need a little break from it all!) :)

    Five years is not a bad run.

    I’ve been blogging on FlowerDust.net for about five years now.

    And it’s time for me to stop.

    In fact, it’s time for me to make several changes in regard to how I approach this ever-evolving world of social media.

    Over the last six months, I’ve had three people significantly influence my decision to change directions as far as “who” I am online. And please note the quotation marks on “who,” as I truly believe there is only a certain level of intimacy one can share via pixels. There really is no “who” I am online.

    There is just me. And this is what I’ve got to do.

    Why share all this? Because you are important and you have supported me throughout the years. Also, I think there are other people out there that may want to take some steps and re-evaluate how they participate in social networking, and maybe this can help them process.

    ___________

    THE INFLUENCERS:

    Consistency to Your Design: One of these people has a very similar life to mine. A writer. A speaker. A person who spends maybe more time on planes and in hotels than I do. He wants to invest more time in his private life, in the relationships he has in flesh and blood. He wants to live like this more than he cares about his public perception. It’s not to say the people he interacts with online aren’t flesh and blood, or that they are any less real or important; there simply is a limit to how much you can share and with whom and time and space.

    This person has followed through with his good intentions, carefully guarding how he spends his time. At times, it’s been difficult. He’s not neglecting opportunities to help others…he’s living true to his design (as one who gets energy from solitude – much like me) and that is allowing him to probably have a more pure influence in the world than juggling a public perception while trying to be holistically who he is.

    —

    Your “Identity”: Another one of these people is someone I’ve recently met. A musician. A talented singer and songwriter. Over gallons of hot tea and closing down Nashville’s Fido coffeehouse several times, he’s helped me dig into what identity is and isn’t. He’s helped me see why one of the reasons I get anxious or worried or feel guilty or angry is because the identities “Anne the author” or “Anne the blogger” or “Anne the speaker” have something opposing them.

    There will always be opposing forces in life, but when I take them on as “Anne the _______” it will always cause more stress.

    Why?

    Because I am Anne. Simply Anne.

    This doesn’t mean I don’t have talents or a career or relationships, but to allow anything related to ego or self-importance to influence the way I make decisions actually hurts me.

    “Anne the Social Media Girl” has been trying to make everyone happy and it’s impossible. The guilt complex tells me I have to keep the boat afloat but the rest of my body tells me to stop it or I’m going to end up jumping off a cliff.

    —

    Courage: The third and final person that’s helped me arrive at this decision is someone who has simply spoken words that have given me courage.

    “Just do what you need to do. You know what it is. Don’t be afraid. I need you to be courageous. The world needs you to be courageous. There are going to be so many people that may not understand or agree with you, but you can’t let that stop you from doing what you need to do.”

    And so, I’m doing what I need to do.

    ___________

    Since there have been relationships formed on this blog or on Twitter in a variety of ways, I thought it would be best to tell you what I’m changing and why. I hope you can respect it whether or not you agree with it and trust me when I say I know I’m doing what’s best for me, my faith, my family, my health, and my closest community.

    **BLOGGING

    GOING AWAY: I will no longer be blogging at FlowerDust.net. There are a lot of really good conversations on here, and it has some important topics that are indexed well in search engines, so I think it’s important to keep the information available. However, all the comment sections will be closed and essentially, this blog will remain up for archival purposes only.

    I will keep the comments on this post open for a couple of weeks and will answer any questions that may need answering. But I am not going to defend my decision if you disagree with me. Again, I just ask that you respect it.

    WHAT’S NEW: *I will continue writing online. I’ll be writing an essay once every Tuesday and a poem once every Thursday each week on my new site AnneJacksonWrites.com.

    It’s simple.

    It’s just writing.

    No more giveaways.

    No more promotions.

    No more random tidbits of information.

    I love to write.

    I love to write essays and poetry.

    I am not a blogger.

    Blogging is a form of writing and many writers blog well and many bloggers write well. I am not one. Not anymore. I just want to improve my writing skills so I am going to focus on how I write best. It will be consistent, still interactive, and hopefully thoughtful and present.

    RSS READERS: Fear not. No need to re-subscribe to anything. Technology is magical like that.

    **TWITTER:

    GOING AWAY: Twitter.com/FlowerDust

    I’m declaring bankruptcy. At some point in time today (Monday, 11/15) I’m deleting the account.

    WHAT’S NEW: Twitter.com/AnneJackson

    Whew…I’m so glad I name squatted my own name back before Twitter became popular.

    To answer some of the FAQ’s I’ve gotten already:

    Q: Why not just change usernames and keep your followers?

    A: Two main reasons: I doubt 12,300 people really follow me and I really don’t follow 4,300 people.

    Q: Will you be following everyone who follows you?

    A: No.

    I will not be following many people. It has nothing to do with whether I like you or think your tweets are valuable or not. There are people I know in person that I see almost every day that I won’t follow.

    Here’s the thing: *I* have allowed Twitter to become another distraction to what I feel I need to become – a better writer. I’m going to keep using it, but it’s going to be much more personal and less about my “platform.”

    If people interact with me, I’ll interact, but it’s not wise for me to follow everyone. To have several thousand people be able to send you a direct message and assume you can reply is very overwhelming for me.

    Some people handle it with grace. I can’t. I am an introvert – online and off – and being “on” all the time drains me of who I need to be and what I need to do.

    I realize this is a “controversial” move on Twitter (the fact there are such things to me seems a little ridiculous, to be honest. It’s just Twitter…) and because I already have received some — let’s just say “passionate” – messages about not following everyone, please hear me: If I don’t follow you, don’t take it personally.

    Simply, it’s just not healthy or smart for me to follow everyone.

    Something I do that is a good middle ground is create lists. I can follow people on lists without opening the DM floodgates. So know that I will still engage with people, I will still catch up with people, it just won’t be through the means of “following” in typical Twitter fashion.

    **OTHER THINGS:

    My Facebook page will still exist and I will still interact on it at Facebook.com/FlowerDust. Facebook doesn’t allow name changes on Pages yet, but as soon as I can, I’ll try.

    Privately, I’ve shut off all my Google Alerts for my name and my book and my websites. I’d love to keep up with all that, but again, I simply need to focus on a handful of things I truly care about. My reputation is not one of them. It will hopefully speak for itself if I consistently seek after a more pure, noble, true, lovely and admirable life. And by making these changes in my online world, those characteristics will flow more consistently out of everything I do.

    ___________

    Is this a poor career choice? I don’t know. It’s debatable. The “experts” say every author needs a platform. Experts have their place, but they don’t run the world. I think I need to be a better writer before I have a platform.

    The bottom line is this: I think faith and love and character can and will supersede any social media campaign anyone can dream up. It’s not about being famous or selling books or promoting myself.

    I need to work on the character things first and foremost, and then out of that I trust my best writing is yet to come.

    ___________

    THANK YOU.

    No matter how long or how short you’ve been a part of FlowerDust.net, or any extension of, I say thanks. I hope we can continue our relationship even if it looks a little differently.

    It’s been a great five years.

    Be well,
    Anne Jackson


  • Does The Reputation Management System Need to Die?

    A couple of weeks ago, I was spending some time with a highly respected friend of mine. For contextual purposes, this person is someone who has sold a lot of books, has a very well-read blog, and travels all over the world to speak and consult. One of the things he talks about frequently is social media, and I consider him to be a true trailblazer in regard to such things.

    During our conversation, he told me that he doesn’t keep Twitter searches going anymore for his name or his books. He deleted all of his Google Alerts. For the good or for the bad, he recognized how these things affected him.

    I was shocked. Over the last few years, I knew him to be one of the few “famous” people who would still go and leave a comment on someone’s blog after they wrote something (again, good or bad) about him. He’d clear something up or apologize if he needed to, or thank them for their kind words.

    He doesn’t do that anymore.

    Granted, none of us – myself completely included – are probably at a level of success where my friend is (if you define “success” by how much product is sold or brand recognition one receives.) If he didn’t thank people on their blogs, his book sales wouldn’t go down and the percentage of his platform that would leave if they were upset for any reason would be so small you probably couldn’t measure it.

    But, this conversation got me thinking…

    And for the last few weeks, I’ve rolled his actions around in my head and have wondered, “Do I need to do the same?”

    Does the reputation management system need to die?

    Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE a personal touch. When someone shares a review of my book or even has a concern about it (as in he or she is offended by its “adult” themes – cough, cough…) I do my best to leave a comment on their blog or thank them on Twitter. Why? Because I appreciate them taking the time to share, even if we disagree on if the word “crap” is foul language.

    For companies, I think it’s wise to monitor such things. I’ve had amazing experiences with Zappos, American Airlines, MediaTemple, and FedEx to name a few (and not so great experiences with Hotel Indigo and USAir, I’ll add). Those touches absolutely make a difference in my brand loyalty.

    Here’s the catch for looking at this in my context as an individual and looking at them in their context as companies.

    I am not a brand.

    They are.

    Some would disagree. There are things about the way I communicate that are uniquely my voice or characteristic of me.

    But I will say it again.

    I am not a brand.

    I am not a commodity.

    I have to ask myself, “Is my identity is wrapped up in what others are saying about me?” … and “Is the only way I’m responding like this is because it helps me build my own recognition or reputation?”

    If the answer to either of those questions are yes, then for me, my reputation management system needs to die.

    I am (slowly) learning that what others think of me, or what I say, what I write, or what I do is not important at all.

    The one question I need to know the answer to is, “Am I doing ________ with integrity?”

    And if the answer to that question is yes, that’s the only thing with which I need to concern myself.

    Is this a poor PR strategy? Bad marketing? Missing out on opportunities?

    Probably.

    But then I remind myself…

    I am not (and nobody is) a product.

    I am not (and nobody is) so important that we need to know what is said about us personally and react to it.

    And most importantly, I don’t think any of this “reputation management” is as important as simply being who we are and doing it as honorably as we can.

  • Odds & Ends & Links & Stuff

    I can’t believe in less than a month, the Ride:Well South Cycling team will be leaving San Diego en route to Myrtle Beach. 3000 miles in two months, all in the name of raising funds and awareness for the awesomeness of Blood:Water Mission.

    Several people who have been good friends of mine for years have had books or albums release in the last couple of weeks. Carlos Whittaker’s album Ragamuffin Soul, Jon Acuff’s book Stuff Christians Like, Pete Wilson’s book Plan B, and Angie Smith’s book I Will Carry You. Check them out and see if they float your boat. If nothing else, know they put the blood, sweat, and tears behind these projects and that you can do the same for whatever it is your heart beats for.

    Updated my speaking schedule page. I’ll be in SoCal speaking again tomorrow, May 12. We’ve added some fall dates as well. Stay tuned, as there are even more fall book tour plans in the works. Hope to meet you if you’re around! If you’re interested in having me speak at your church, conference, college, or mom’s birthday, click here.

    Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the courage some of my close friends have shown lately. Remember that when you face down your fears and do what you need to do, not only are you helping yourself, you’re inspiring others.

    Seth Godin is taking his show on the road. I hope he makes it to Nashville! He is also speaking at Catalyst Atlanta this year. If you want to register (don’t forget to sign up for the Labs – so fun, and I’m speaking – not that the two are related) head over to CatalystConference.com. I think you can win an iPad over there too.

    And finally, I am so glad warm weather is here. Bring on the sun!

    What are some things you’re excited about?

  • Do You Remember Those Days?

    It’s Tuesday night. 7:15 pm, San Diego time.

    I haven’t opened my computer since Friday.

    To be fair, I haven’t been completely unplugged. I’ve been Tweeting, texting, and responding to a few urgent emails from my phone.

    But my computer has remained totally off.

    Dead.

    In my bag.

    It’s not like it’s broken. Or even that I’m missing my power cord.

    I just have left it off.

    It’s been busy. After Catalyst West, I spent the weekend hanging out with some very good friends I don’t see nearly as much as I would like to.

    And yesterday and today, I’ve been recording the audio book for Permission to Speak Freely.

    (Which was a blast, by the way!)

    I saw a Panera on my way out of San Diego and decided I might as well break the fast.

    And so I’ve been here – for three hours – catching up on the “work” side of my job.

    Last night, I went to the Sleeping at Last show in Hollywood. Sleeping at Last has been one of my favorite bands for the last few years, and I’ve had the chance to see them live a couple of times.

    Each time has been a profound experience.

    Each time has been uninterrupted.

    But this time…

    I let the phone vibrating in my pocket interrupt a few times.

    And I couldn’t help but think about a million other things…in addition to the poetry and music happening in front of me.

    It made me remember the days when computers weighed 25 pounds and had to sit on desks at home.

    When mobile phones only made phone calls.

    And for a moment, I missed the past.

    I missed the lack of distraction.

    Do you remember those days?

  • Blogging Advice

    Most of my session at Catalyst is about blogging and using social media. I’m putting this post up as a reference for people in the session, but also for anyone else who wants to know what I think about the ABCs of blogging. Below, you’ll find some blog posts I’ve written through the years offering my thoughts on building platforms and social media in general.

    1. How to be the BEST Blogger Ever

    2. A Quick Bit of Twitter Advice

    3. Does a Blog Need A Lot of Comments to be Successful?

    4. Can Online Community Really Exist?

    5. Building Your Platform — Part 1

    6. Building Your Platform — Part 2

    7. Building Your Platform — Part 3

    8. How to Lead a Tribe – Part 1

    9. How to Lead a Tribe – Part 2

  • In Honor of Ad Free Day, Pimp Something Good

    Today (and for as long as I can imagine) this blog is officially advertisement free.

    In a blogosphere free-trade kind of way, I’d like to give you a chance to pimp your book, your blog, your organization (or one of your choice) below.

    A free for all ad free party kind of day.

    How?

    Super easy.

    Just fill in the Mr. Linky below (I never thought I would say those words) and tell us why you pimped what you did in the comments.

    Tip: Be generous and be creative!

    NOTE:

    When you fill it out — do it in this format:

    Name: Anne Jackson – Blood Water Mission
    URL: http://www.bloodwatermission.com

    Hope we all make some new friends!