I realize this post may be controversial in nature, but that is not my intent.
The other day I was having a conversation with a girl I know. She’s a believer, and she’s gay.
She realizes what the Bible says about homosexuality, and she has decided the gay lifestyle is not for her. It’s a struggle. It’s not like she can flip a switch and all of the sudden “be straight.” She even started blogging about what she’s wrestling with. You can read it here.
As we were talking, she asked…
“Why?”
“Because the Bible says so” isn’t the answer she was looking for. That’s kind of a given.
It’s pretty easy to see why sins like murder or adultery or what-have-you-that’s-evil are sins. It’s because they ultimately involve hurting someone.
Why is being gay a sin?
“Because you’re hurting yourself” isn’t the answer either. When you’re gay, you love, just as straight people love. You want the best for someone.? Someone wants the best for you.
I told her outside of these plug and play answers we kind of just hand out when we discuss these things, I didn’t have an answer. Because I don’t. I can talk circles around hypothetical circumstances but when it comes down to it, I simply don’t have an answer for her. Neither did another friend who was with us.
And maybe sometimes there aren’t answers. We talked about that too.
So I asked her if I could pose this question to you. She said yes. And she’ll be reading these answers, so please keep that in mind as you write your response. If anyone gets out of line I will delete your comment.
i’m totally kidding, by the way.? you’re not a peon.
but most of us aren’t senior pastors.? very few of us who read this blog are the big time decision makers.? most of us are support staff.
and in such roles, we often face difficult questions.? our culture of subconscious (or conscious) hierarchies, combined with our sincere respect, and in some cases a fear for our job can leave us wondering what to do if we think our lead pastor (or whoever your mega-leadership-boss-man/woman is) is on an unhealthy road.
boomama asked me this question for last week’s blog blitz, and i think it is a topic seldom addressed, thus my reposting.? even though this is targeted toward assistants, it really applies to anyone who isn’t calling the shots.
Let?s say someone works as an assistant to a senior pastor / executive pastor / high-up-person-on-the-church-leadership-flowchart. And let?s say that someone who works as an assistant notices that his or her boss is stressed, anxious, tired – basically on the verge of burnout. Do you think there are any specific things that assistant could do for his or her supervisor to lighten the load? Or should the assistant just stay out of it?
my response:
To answer your question ? YES. Absolutely YES. How will depend on that person?s relationship with their supervisor and it could take some serious guts?maybe even putting their job on the line in the worst case scenario?.but we have a responsibility to carry each other?s burdens (See Galatians 6).
A few ways the assistant could do this practically:
1. Communicate it directly. Set some time up with the supervisor to specifically address this. Don?t throw it in the mix of another meeting. ?The reason I wanted to meet with you today is because I?m concerned.? Explain the behavior you see that is worrying you.
2. Offer any assistance you can provide. If it?s something obvious like a particular project or area of responsibility, THINK AHEAD. Assistants know better than anyone the details of what?s happening. Make a plan ahead of time of how you can lighten the load and recommend it for the supervisor. Otherwise, you?re giving that person more work trying to figure out what you can do.
3. Encourage them consistently and appropriately. When I see my own boss getting stressed or overwhelmed, or maybe he indicates he?s had a long day, I shoot him a text message or quick email just to say how honored I am to work with him and that his passion for what he does is contagious. Small gifts for his or her family like a dinner out or offering to babysit so they can have time are both practical ways you can also encourage your boss.
4. Lead by example. You may be on support staff but people all around you see what you do. Are you contributing to a 24/7 workaholic, always available culture? Or do you have boundaries that you stick by? As an example, I don?t typically check my work email on the weekend. If I do, I won?t respond until Monday unless it?s a legit emergency. This is the culture on our church staff, but it has to be constantly made intentional. Talk freely about the time you spend with your friends or spouse. Leave on time. When you?re sick, stay home. All these things will communicate what is more important?work? Or health?
5. When all else fails, find someone else to help. It may be another pastor, or an elder, or a leader you know your boss trusts. If it doesn?t seem like your concern is having an impact and your leader is still about to fry, talk to someone else respectfully. Don?t spread rumors or talk about it with everyone?but find one or two key people that you know your supervisor will listen to.
Don?t EVER think ?I?m just an assistant!? Who cares? You?re a believer! There is no hierarchy when it comes to caring for each other.
have you ever had to deal with a situation like this? anything you’ve learned along the way?
because really. caring for each other is the new black.
“If you are a pastor and want to know if you are the cause of burnout, look at your turn over rate, how many people have worked for you more than ten years, how many former employees still go to your church? Have you ever reached out to them?
That kicks you right in the stomach, doesn’t it?
Staff turnover (and volunteer turnover) in churches is HUGE.? And as pastors and leaders, we should ask ourselves those questions.
having moved thirty three times in my short almost twenty-nine years, i’ve grown experienced in making a good first impression.? except for maybe the time i met w. paul young, the author of the shack, at catalyst.? that was terribly traumatic for my winning streak.
starting next week, for a month, i am out traveling and speaking a lot.? in front of people i don’t know in conferences where the male to female ratio of speakers is 9-1 (male) and, correct me if i’m wrong, but i think i’m also the only twenty-something speaking.? and probably one of the only ones who didn’t go to college. and…
this makes my heart a-flutter.? will i sound educated enough? will i seem old enough for people to take me seriously? can i really speak truth and wisdom into a man’s life?? will i have something stuck in my teeth?
insecurities abound…
my comfort is in assuming myself that i will make a good first impression.? i will look amazing, charm people with my wit and wow them with wisdom far beyond my years.? right?? right?
the wonderful dino rizzo twittered something the other day which i believe i will tattoo on my forearm in 120 point font:
“if in life we were sincerely more concerned to bless more instead of impress more, Jesus would enjoy it.”
this nugget is powerful in at least two very amazing ways.
first, i should only be out to do what i am called to do. to be obedient to the things placed in front of me, and not to worry about what man (or woman) thinks.
secondly, these things should sincerely bless people. if i am worried about ME ME ME, i am not worried about being a conduit for a divine message.
pastor dino’s words of wisdom have become my mantra and my prayer as i prepare for this next month of speaking and meeting lots and lots of people.
and if you’re one of them…i truly hope you are blessed with a message of hope far more than impressed with the messenger.
Not unlike many other places on the east side of the country, Nashville is COLD today. Windchills below zero. The townhome I live in is old and not very well insulated, so on days like this it says right around 62, with all space heaters on high.
As I was getting ready this morning, I started thinking how miserable the cold was. After all, I am a Texas girl: A warm blooded-anything below 90 degrees is freezing cold-kind of lady. While this was happening, I was reminded of the nearly 11,000 homeless that Nashville call home. And that, although I have to spend all of 30 seconds out in the sharply frigid temperature, these people LIVE in it. They SLEEP in it.? They walk around as the arctic wind gusts chap their already weathered skin.
Once at the office, Ryan, our missions pastor, and Pete and I got together and decided we had to do something about it. Walmart has these really inexpensive but ridiculously warm fleece blankets that normally run about $4 (they were on sale for $3 today!) And so Ryan and I went and loaded up fifty-one of these blankets. We sent out an email and at 2 pm today, some of our staff and whoever else shows up (we invited people on Twitter and Facebook) will head out to some of the areas in Nashville where those who are homeless tend to hang out.
It’s just a blanket.? Just a couple of hours of time and $150.? But hopefully these blankets will help keep these people a little more protected during the next week as the temperatures continue to plunge.
Cross Point is an amazing place to serve.? We are busy…things are crazy…but I love how interruptions like this easily take priority over the things that can wait.? It was cheap and fast and easy to do. It just took doing it to get it done.? Does that make sense?
How much margin do you have built into your life — your professional life, your personal life, your family life — where you can stop everything to help people spontaneously?? I highly encourage you to add a little more if you can, because it’s so worth it…not just for us…but for the people who need whatever it is they need in your communities.
If you want to talk about church marketing – THIS IS CHURCH MARKETING. Your mailer may be effective and tell people in words what your church is up to, but this puts action behind it. Would you rather be known as the church with the great mailers or the church who goes out in the community and tangibly loves people when they need it most?? Goes back to Marshall McLuhan’s thought of “The medium is the message.”
What’s your medium? What’s your message? Do they work together or are they opposite forces…which can be confusing?
Officially, the book releases in just a couple of weeks (it may actually start shipping sooner from online retailers!) and even though this process has been a couple years in the making, the conversation and interest around it has continued to grow.
Why?
Because we, as church leaders, are burning out…and it’s not stopping.
We’re also realizing this…and we’re desperate to do something about it!
We’ve got to fight!? IT HAS TO STOP!!
Yesterday, several bloggers have generously offered their online real estate to help champion the message of Mad Church Disease. Most of them asked me a unique question about burnout, the book, and the journey writing it. Please take a little time to click over to their blogs to read their questions, my answers, and drop them a note of thanks for helping spread the word.
Here are the blogs from the big blitz yesterday.? I’ve posted their questions…you have to visit their sites for the answers.
Is there something about our current way of doing church that?s causing so much burn out? What key changes can churches make to reduce the rate of burn out in their staff?
?When people read MCD, what will be the hardest thing they will have to face in this book? Or what hard decisions do you think people will have to make??
Church marketing seems to pair two fields that have a problem with burnout–ministry and communications. What can churches do to ensure that they still have effective marketing and communications but aren’t burning out their people?
Let?s say someone works as an assistant to a senior pastor / executive pastor / high-up-person-on-the-church-leadership-flowchart. And let?s say that someone who works as an assistant notices that his or her boss is stressed, anxious, tired – basically on the verge of burnout. Do you think there are any specific things that assistant could do for his or her supervisor to lighten the load? Or should the assistant just stay out of it? I ask this because a friend and I had this very conversation a few weeks ago – and I?m not sure we came to any real conclusions.
Pete Wilson, my pastor & boss did his interview via video:
What is the most important concept you have learned from writing Mad Church Disease? Are their any struggles of burnout that you still have to focus on today?
Brad Lomenick does a classic Top Ten list including:
#7 – [Anne] gives us five principles for fighting mad church disease tied to relational health. You?ll have to get the book to know what they are. But one includes sleeping more, which is always a positive.
Anne, from the first day I heard of your study on this, I have loved the name you chose for it. I?m curious to know what made you choose the name. What correlation do you see between Mad Church Disease and the more familiar Mad Cow Disease? Both seem to be lethal yet preventable, but are there other parallels you see?
In ministry we sometimes feel like we have to have it all together. Does that contribute to Mad Church Disease, and if so, how can delicate topics be addressed in a wise yet honest way?
Angie Smithshares some amazing insight from someone who isn’t “in ministry leadership” so to speak…
Spence Smith (whose story is in the book) talks about his own experience with health and burnout.
Tim Stevens thought he’d? hate the book.? He asks:
What were some of your thoughts about God or the church that came from watching some of the junk your dad went through as a pastor?
Shawn Wood made me hungry by asking a lot of questions & talking about food, like:
Do you look at Cows differently now?? Can you still eat them?
Your book, Mad Church Disease, is the kind of book that should be handed out with every diploma from seminary. Given the potential and deserved success of it, what plans have you put in place to avoid burning out from the promotion of a book about burnout? What are some ways we can expect you to be living out the great truth of this book as you hit the road, virtual or paved, in support of Mad Church Disease?
So those were the bloggers in the big blitz yesterday!
But, wait!? There’s more!
Like to find new blogs? Here are reviews from other bloggers who were kind enough to post their thoughts.
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I know this may seem like a shameless I-want-to-sell-books promotion, but please believe me when I say it’s not.? One, it’s nearly impossible to rake in the big bucks as a writer and two, I believe in this message SO MUCH I don’t really care if you think I’m shamelessly promoting it.? I WILL shamelessly promote health.? LIFE.? Hope.? Sorry…you can’t shut me up about this stuff.
It’s my desire that as you read these reviews and conversations, you’ll see how God is using many different aspects of this book to help others, and that you will be inspired as well – or that you’ll pass it on to someone who you know who needs it.
Today, a group of about 20 bloggers are sharing their thoughts on burnout and the book.
If you’ve found your way here by one of these bloggers, I say welcome! Thanks! And I hope you’ll stick around.? We have a great community around here. You can subscribe to this blog by clicking here.
Some other cool stuff for you newbies: Enter to win Logos Scholar’s Library Bible Software here.? See if I’m coming to a city near you here.
I hope and pray that God uses the words of this book to inspire and challenge us to look at the responsibility we’ve been given as believers to share the hope of the world.? If you haven’t preordered it, just click here and choose your favorite retailer.
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Code Blue (from Chapter 2)
When a Code Blue is issued in a hospital, any available medical personnel run to the room of the person who?s coding. It?s a matter of life and death. Milliseconds count. Politics, personal beliefs, hang-ups, grudges, and pride are put aside as the life of a fellow human lies in their hands. It?s an emergency.
Since the beginning of time, mankind has been facing a life-and-death emergency. We are separated from our Creator. All he wants is for us to be reconciled to him. He sent his own flesh and blood down to earth to restore us. And we?re to help guide others to that restoration.
The greatest commandments are what? To love God and to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. In most cases, I don?t question our love for God. The passion and intensity with which we go about our lives are small indicators of our love. But we are guilty of not loving ourselves. The statistics don?t lie. And even if they did, I?m sure you could conclude from your own experience that, quite frankly, we?re pretty terrible at loving ourselves.
If we can?t love ourselves, we can?t love others in the way that God has designed us. We can care for others and can want the best for them, but to love them in the godliest ways is impossible until we can obey this great commandment.
We are in the midst of a crisis that needs our full devotion of mind, body, and spirit.
In Mark 12:30, Jesus declares, ?Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.?
Notice Jesus doesn?t say ?love others with all your strength?; he says to ?love the Lord your God.?
By loving God, we?re faithful to his commandments. And when we?re obedient, God will carry out his work through us.
Satan is out to annihilate hope and light, both in our world and in us, the body of Christ. He?s well aware of the crisis of the human race, and he will do anything and everything in his power to obliterate our efforts.
As the church, we need to take a good, hard look around and ask ourselves if we are ready to fight. To fight for our own love relationship with God through Christ, and for the world around us as well.
It may not be cash, but it’s $6,100 worth of books and Bibles and research…all for your computer (PC…sorry, mac people!)? This software costs $630 normally – so it’s a huge deal.? And it’s amazing software at that!!!!
I’m giving away a copy of the Logo’s Scholar’s Library! About it:
Scholar?s Library is a value-priced collection of texts and tools for serious Bible study using Greek, Hebrew, and English resources. It is the best value in Bible software today with more than 330 Bibles and Bible Reference titles worth over $6,100.00 in equivalent print editions!
The Scholar?s Library software doesn?t just “speed up” the process of studying with paper books, it actually acts as your personal research assistant, doing everything from looking up relevant articles and automatically collecting material to generating tailored reports and organizing content around your specific target passage. Logos Bible Software Series X is so easy to use and powerful that all you have to know how to do is type in a Bible reference, or a topic and click the ?Go!? button. Scholar?s Library provides an amazing wealth of resources at your fingertips, giving you everything you need for serious and comprehensive Bible Study, no matter what your focus. The value-packed Scholar?s Library makes digging deep into the truth of the Bible easier than ever!
Leave a comment with your most meaningful Bible verse or passage…THEN it would be great if you blogged about the giveaway from your blog.? Ask your readers to come and enter!? I’d really like to see how far this giveaway can go!? And I know there are a lot of pastors who don’t make tons of money or have the resources to purchase a $630 computer program.? Many of those pastors probably don’t read my blog so let’s make this a group effort!
This giveaway will run until midnight on Saturday (12:00 am Saturday AM CST). I will use random.org to randomly generate a comment number and that person will win as long as they followed the rules! Please don’t put your name in more than once!
But I will sign your book.? Maybe.? To say that sounds really, really weird.
(But I guess signing your body parts would be a little weirder).
(And before I head into this, just in case you decide to skim it – please come back later today for the afternoon post. I have a HUGE giveaway that many of you would LOVE to win…trust me…okay…now, on to the show…)
Mad Church Disease actually releases in the next couple of weeks and as such, I am earning a lot of frequent flyer miles traveling around to introduce people to its message.
If I’m going to be near you, please stop by and say hi!
**Southern Cali people – please note the event on February 16!? I’ll be blogging about it a little bit later but there will be a limited number of seats so consider this your advance notice!? And if you’re one of the first 75 people to RSVP you get a free book!**
Anyhoo, I’ve noted the events that are open and/or free to the public if you’re not attending one of the conferences…
Hope to meet a lot of you soon.? Let me know if I’ll see you at any of these.? And if you’re interested in having me come to your part of the world, drop me a line!
By the way, be careful what you wish for.? About two and a half years ago, I felt I needed to release control about my promise to never speak in public…I prayed about it and committed that if God ever opened doors for me to do it, I’d walk through them.
Funny, huh?
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January 27, 2009
Innovation3Gathering
Dallas, TX
Bent Tree Bible Fellowship
3 pm-4 pm Mad Church Disease Workshop & Conversation
4:30-6 pm – Book Signing
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February 2-5, 2009
re:create
Nashville, TN Thursday, 2/5 @ 10 am Mad Church Disease: A Conversation on Ministry Health and Healing from Burnout
Two42 Cafe & Bookstore Central Christian Church
Las Vegas, NV
FREE & OPEN to EVERYONE! 2/14 @ 4:30 pm, 6:00 pm (Saturday)
2/15 @ 9:00, 10:20, & 11:45 am (Sunday)
Book Signing
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February 16, 2009
Mariners Church
Irvine, CA FREE & OPEN TO EVERYONE!
First 75 RSVPs get a FREE COPY OF MAD CHURCH DISEASE (the book, not the disease!)
Mad Church Disease Book Reading & Gathering
Sponsored by Catalyst & Zondervan
With Musical Guest Shaun Groves
7:30 pm RSVP HERE with how many will attend.
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February 26, 2009
Atlanta, GA
SAVE THE DATE!
An “Off the Blog” Special Event with More Details to Come SOON!!!
YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS IT!!!
Sponsored by Catalyst
7:30 pm
I’m giving away a copy of the Logo’s Scholar’s Library! About it: