Anne Marie Miller

Author: admin

  • A Note to Some Folks: Mark Aderholt Lied to You

    A Note to Some Folks: Mark Aderholt Lied to You

    I’ve been debating writing this post for some time. As news of Mark Aderholt’s resignation and subsequent arrest became public last year, I received emails (and a phone call or two) from people who knew him. Before he was arrested, and I assume when he started to figure out something was going on, he created an entirely false narrative to explain what was happening.

    From my understanding based on multiple sources, around the same time as he went on a mission trip to Hong Kong, he told people in his circles that he pursued a “normal” relationship with a woman (some said he “gave a sanitized version” of the story that came out in the Star-Telegram). That woman was accusing him of things that did not happen and sued him. He then told them that he was finalizing the settlement and the lawsuit would be settled shortly after he returned from his trip.

    This, on all accounts, is completely false.

    • He did not pursue a “normal” relationship with a woman in his past. He pursued a physical/sexual relationship with a 16-year-old girl. And, according to his written personal testimony (which I have seen first hand), he did this while he pursued a courtship with the woman who is now his wife. He met her shortly before he returned to the US in 1996 and said he knew around the time they met that she was the woman he was going to marry. He sexually abused me from September 1996 through April 1997. She returned the summer of 1997 from being overseas and they married in December 1997. They later moved to Hungary to serve with the IMB.
    • The only time I have ever communicated directly with Mark after he was married was in 2006, when I emailed the email address listed on his missionary website. I did this at the suggestion of my (non-licensed) church counselor. The letter was to state the facts of what happened to the best of my memory, let him know that I forgave him, and I think that I was moving on with my life (though I don’t remember for sure on that last part. I know it was what I wrote in my journal about sending the letter). I never got a reply to that.
    • Given that, I have never sued Mark or filed any lawsuit of any kind. I have never written a demand letter. I have never even hired an attorney to explore that or attempt that. The only time I have retained counsel was during my divorce in 2010, to make sure that everything was done by the book relating to my divorce filing, and that alone.
    • As such, there was never a lawsuit, so there was never an attempt to settle or a settlement. His claim of settling a lawsuit is entirely false. I have never sued anyone, though I explored the option to sue Milestones in Tennessee for damages after my jaw was broken in four places as a result of one of their recreational activities. However, for several reasons, I did not sue them. I’ve never, ever sued anyone or settled a lawsuit.
    • I wanted to make this information public because I have no idea how many people he lied to about this. In conversations with various people that knew him, they learned they were also lied to about the reason he returned to the US after he resigned (before he could be terminated) when the IMB determined he abused me and, once again said Mark did not confess to the full truth of the relationship with me. He told people that God very clearly called them back to the US to train missionaries and nothing about the fact that he would no longer be able to serve as an IMB missionary because he was determined to have been credibly accused of sexually abusing a minor.

    I know it’s hard to reconcile Mr. Aderholt’s apparent double life. He did so much good and was well liked by many. I was enamored by his personality when I was a teenager, and I trusted him too. It is my hope that he will decide to come clean and own his dishonesty, apologize and ask forgiveness from those to whom he lied. If you were a person that he lied to, I am truly sorry for whatever pain or loss you experienced. I’m here to answer any questions or provide any documentation you need.

    With sorrow for what’s been lost and hope for restoration and justice for everyone involved,

    Anne Marie Miller

  • Update on IMB sex abuse and misconduct communication and investigations

    Last week, a confusing IMB communication was sent out and then leaked to the media, many people, including myself, had significant concerns regarding the letter, the policies outlined in it, and the manner in which it was sent. People also contacted me saying they should have received the letter or had experienced a sexual abuse/misconduct situation and should be contacted by the IMB’s third-party firm who is looking into old cases and helping them develop new policies and procedures for the future.

    This morning, I had a call with an IMB leader (staff) and a trustee who have been my point of contact over the last year. They shared with me that the firm recommended sending this email to people who could have had contact with Mr. Aderholt and encouraging them to report it. Their intention was to reach a specific group of people the best way they could, considering he was on the field 12 years ago.

    I shared with them how some of the verbiage in the email could be interpreted by any potential survivors in a way that did not accurately reflect their well-meaning intentions and could actually cause additional concerns. We also discussed how the IMB could potentially better communicate in this particular situation and moving forward.

    We talked about additional ways they could rebuild trust internally and publicly, encourage appropriate reporting to a third party and law enforcement and how to help care for survivors.

    One specific concern we discussed was the IMB’s letter not encouraging people to report directly to authorities. They said IMB’s current practice is to report all allegations of sexual and physical abuse of children to proper authorities, and their plan is to report any allegations of abuse that are brought forward as a result of this letter.  They assured me that the IMB does not discourage victims from going straight to authorities, and it was not their intention to discourage that from taking place. They said they’re already looking at revising future letters to make that option more clear.

    We talked about how having an anonymous (but still internal) reporting process could prevent people from coming forward and to maybe use an alternative process involving a fully independent third party to “triage” any reports so the IMB would not make the decision of what needs to be reported to law enforcement and a third party would also then have documentation outside of the IMB. They stand by their commitment to their policy to always report, but adding this extra layer allows for further transparency and accountabiilty.

    Overall, I was encouraged by the phone call and I look forward to seeing how they move forward. Time will tell, as always, but I felt as if the conversation was positive and should they consider and consult with survivors moving forward as they rewrite policy and both internal/external communication, it would be a good step in the right direction for everyone.

    I said this to a trustee at SWBTS last week and I said it on the call: I don’t want to see any entity of the SBC fail. Yes, I’ll point out weakness I see and I’ll (usually) share them out publicly if it’s a part of my story and I feel that I should have a say in it. But ultimately, I want these organizations and the convention to succeed in reforming policy, preventing abuse, and caring for survivors. Everyone wins: past, present, and future survivors and ultimately the cause of Christ.

  • Southern Baptist Convention’s mission arm the International Mission Board privately searches for other victims related to sex abuse case, does not encourage reporting to law enforcement.

    This morning I got an email from my Google Alert for “Mark Aderholt” and saw there was a new article discussing how the International Mission Board, the SBC arm that conducted an internal investigation in 2007 into one of their employees who sexually abused me in 1996 (when he was not an employee.) I was happy at first. My first reason for coming forward was to make sure that this man had not abused anyone else considering his access to vulnerable people on the mission field for over a decade.

    As I looked for the original post, I couldn’t find anything except for what a few newspapers posted. At about 10:30 this morning, I received the following screenshots from an anonymous sender.

    This is a letter the International Mission Board sent out to a group of people (that I am unaware of who it includes and doesn’t include).

    You will note a few things:

    1. It is sent privately to a group of people when in fact, this should be a public statement as well as a private inquiry.
    2. It immediately goes to defend Mr. Aderholt stating that he maintains his innocence and to their knowledge, they don’t know of anything else.
    3. They want to find out if there are other victims so they can “offer counseling resources to help them.” Interestingly enough, I have been asking for counseling resources as well.*
    4. What is of utmost importance, aside from that, is that they do not at any point SAY ANYTHING ABOUT REPORTING CHILD ABUSE OR ILLEGAL CONDUCT TO LAW ENFORCEMENT. You think they would know this by now. It’s kind of why we’re in this pickle now, isn’t it?
    5. Their first concern is to minister to victims. Their primary concern is NOT following the law.
    6. In listing ways to report illegal activities like abuse and harassment, they do not say “call your local law enforcement” or “call the FBI”…they list FOUR ways, all of them INTERNAL, of letting them know about the illegal activity. They do not recommend contacting law enforcement.
    7. It highlights the amount of discretion that will be used in providing any follow-up.

    If you are the recipient of this letter and an abuse survivor, or a survivor period, please contact your local law enforcement to begin taking the proper steps of finding help and justice.

    INTERNAL REPORTING ALLOWS PREDATORS TO KEEP OFFENDING.

    When will the Southern Baptist Convention hold the IMB accountable in the same manner that they hold their churches accountable? The IMB is acting in a way that is diametrically opposed to what the SBC is attempting to do in reshaping their policies and informing people to REPORT TO LAW ENFORCEMENT.

    Once again, the IMB is operating in an inappropriate manner and I’m assuming this is after they have been counseled by the law firm they hired. If they cannot follow instruction from the SBC HQ or from the third party they hired, what hope do they have?

    They need to know that the days of keeping things secret are over.

    I do hope they follow through on their promise to help victims get the counseling they need. I know I’m still waiting for that answer to my request. But most importantly, I hope they report all abuse and all illegal activity to law enforcement and encourage those in their care to do the same.

    I have recently asked for help for current counseling directly related to the IMB’s negligence in handling this situation over the last 12 years as well as past and future counseling expenses. I was told “yes” for current expenses and was told there was a list of counselors they recommend. Upon me sharing my counselor of my choosing, I did not hear back for several days and when I did, I was told my request was sent on to “leadership.” I have not yet heard back. May 2019 update: I had the chance to meet with a staff leader and trustee along with a support person of my choosing to discuss this. This is currently on-going. I do hope we can meet an agreement soon that is suitable.